Chapter 4: The talk
[Still Cry's pov]
When I came inside my home, my thoughts started wandering off after thinking through most of the evening…
"Brain… it's Felix… not Pewdie or Pewds… not when we're together like this… Felix, Felix, Felix… remember that now!? FELIX… wait… didn't I make some sort of plan today? With someone online… Skype? I don't remember… let's just have everything open… just in case…"
And sure enough after a little while something popped up on his computer…
Skype? So who?... wait fuck… Pewds… I forgot about that… it's easy to forget stuff like that when you're with that exact same person, okay?...
"Hi cry!" Pewds said, he seemed really happy…
"Sup?" I said, just like I always had said it, I should probably change it up sometimes…
"You seem happy today, something good happen?" I asked, maybe his girlfriend called him or something?
"Really? Yeah, I guess I'm kinda happy… I mean I met this person which I think is awesome, kinda reminds me of you" Pewds said, smiling the whole time… wait, so I'm the reason he's so happy? Well fuck me…
"Oh? Tell me more about this awesome person you met" I said, ha! Pewds whatever you say now can, and will be used against you!
"Well, this person is funny and I just… this person is a girl by the way…" what!? Pewds… I'm not a girl… did he meet someone else? "And… well I think I might have some feelings for her…" he finished… it took me a while to realize what had happened here, but eventually I managed to answer…
"Wow… but wait, what about your girlfriend?" his expression changed a little, showing a faintly noticeable feeling of sadness and pain.
"I… we broke up… SHE broke up… said she wasn't sure if I really loved her anymore… and… no forget it, we broke up, that's it…" Pewds finished… an awkward silence followed, I had no idea what to say to that… fuck…
"So… so tell me more about this GIRL you met…" I said, in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood a little… he looked at the screen for a while with a slightly distant expression evident in his eyes, until his mood seemed to slowly go back to how it used to be… good… personally I prefer it when Pewds is happy…
"Well… she was just perfect, she was funny, nice… I don't know what to say… I really like her, and I guess I want to… I don't know maybe go into a relationship with her… but, I still… if I'm going to go further with her, it'll have to wait for a little while…" Pewds said… he's still not at 100% happiness yet…
"So… when did you meet her?" I asked, because shit, when did he have the time to meet her?
"I met her a few days ago… she's going to the same school as me, and I've already been to her house! And today we even went to a restaurant! I guess that's why I'm so happy today" Pewds said, his happiness reaching about 93% during the end of the conversation…
"R-really?" I said… are you kidding me pewds!? You're talking about ME… and you're saying I'm a girl… wait… relationship? Shit, pewds!? He's… gay? He… likes me, and… wants to… fuck, has stopped working…
"Yeah! I'm going to see her tomorrow too… I can't wait to talk to her at school tomorrow! Well, she doesn't really talk much during school though… I guess she doesn't really like being in big groups and talking with other people… but at least she talks to me" pewds ended the sentence with a huge smile… oh shit… . .me… okay… I need time to think this through…
"I, yeah, sure… Pewds-I m… are you sure that you like… her?" I nearly screwed up a lot of times there… brain, you have to get your shit together… firstly, he's Pewds when I'm cry and he's Felix when I'm Ryan… and when he's Pewds Ryan's a Girl, so it's not me, it's she, and you know nothing… okay?
"I… I'm kinda conflicted about it… I mean I really like her, but I still have feelings for someone else… I guess that's why SHE broke up with me… because I had feelings for someone else… fack, all this love shit is confusing as hell…" Pewds said, and we're down to about 46% on the happiness scale…
"It's okay Pewds… I guess, I guess it'll work out… you just have to think things through before you start something… maybe you don't really like this person? That person might just be someone you like hanging out with, but after everything that have happened you just… I don't know… you just have to figure out who you really like… which person you have closest to your heart…" I said, although it was more of a ramble… I had no idea what to say… if I said something encouraging in the wrong ways, I'd have to deal with him confessing and I don't know how I really feel about that… because I never really thought about him in that way… and… could I go into a serious relationship with pewds? I… shit, I need more time to think this through…
"Thanks Cry… but it's not quite like that… you see, the person I have the most feelings for… well that person is kinda impossible to confess to… and I'm pretty sure that person doesn't like me back… and when I met this girl… I started getting more and more feelings for her… and the fact that she nearly only talks to me is kinda encouraging me to believe that maybe, just maybe… maybe she could accept… shit, maybe she'd be willing to go into a relationship with me eventually…" Pewds said…
"Pewds… I don't know what to say…" I'm kinda speechless right now… here he is, confessing his love for Ryan to Cry… so he's confessing his love for me to me without knowing it… I feel kinda bad… but hey, he should feel bad to! I mean in a way he's using me as a substitute for the person he really likes… who could that be?
"Pewds?" I asked, waiting for his reply… I needed the time to prepare myself for what might come…
"Yeah?" Pewds answered carefully, it seems like he understands that something's up… a silent pair of seconds followed, and the silence hang over us like a heavy curtain, well… at least it felt like that for me… Pewds was nervously waiting in silence for me to reply I guess…
"Who… who is the person you like?" I asked, and the imaginary curtain felt like it got heavier…
A silence that felt like it lasted about 25 minutes but really lasted about 30 seconds erupted, and my mind was completely blank… I didn't think about anything… I just listened, waiting for his reply…
"I'm not ready to tell you, anyone yet… sorry" Pewds eventually replied, and my curtain didn't feel as heavy as before… I think I'm gonna name him Frank. Yeah, my Pewds curtain is named Frank.
"That's okay, whenever you're ready to tell me you'll do so" I said, I'm feeling a lot better now… kinda strange seeing as he didn't tell me anything… but still, Frank wasn't being a jerk anymore either…
"But then… could you tell me who this girl you met is then?" I asked, knowing he'd have problems telling me that... I'm evil sometimes…
"U-um… I… okay so… I can't really tell you that either… I'm sorry… again…" Pewds said, I really like seeing him having trouble with stuff like this… does that make me a bad person?
"That's okay too… but wait, why did you approach… this girl in the first place?" I asked… yes! Avoided saying 'me' this time to! But brain, really? You could try a little harder…
"Well… there was something about her that made me… I guess it was love at first sight, haha, never thought I'd say that… but I kinda saw it as a challenge too… especially when the girls told me he didn't speak much… but I guess… I guess it got serious…" Pewds said thoughtfully, he was really thinking this through huh? I couldn't help letting out a small laugh…
"You're so romantic Pewds, haha" I said… I couldn't help it okay? The whole situation was so strange… faith really did something weird here, didn't she? Wait… did Pewds say he? "Pewds… did you just say HE?" I asked… I guess he fucked up real bad this time…
"I-what? No… I did not!" he said, light panic evident in his voice. Oh he knew he fucked up now.
"Yes you did, you said 'the girls told me HE didn't say much' so the she, is really a dude?" I said playfully… of course I knew that from the start, but I wanted him to tell it to me himself.
"… Okay… yes… the girl's a guy… that's kinda the reason I told you I couldn't tell you who this person is… Cry?" Pewds replied…
"Yeah?"
"I'm gay…"