Chapter 5: Think damn it, think
[Cry's pov]
"I'm gay"
Well fuck… I was right…
"And here I thought you just were fabulous." I replied.
When Pewds heard that he started laughing his ass off, and when I heard that beautiful laughter of his I couldn't help laughing with him. That's when I realized that this conversation had been way too intense for way too long, and that's probably why a small joke like this made the both of us laugh so much… and that's the way I liked it…
After a while our laughter slowly died down, and I couldn't help feeling a little happy… I guess I wanted this conversation to happen…
"No but seriously… I really am gay…" Pewds said after a while, his voice had gotten a little serious again…
"Okay…" I replied… I didn't know what else to say… I mean it wasn't really strange or anything…
"You… you're okay with it?" he asked… Ah, so that's what he was after…
"Yeah… it doesn't really matter whether you're gay, straight or bi, you're still my friend!" I said… was that okay? I mean… he's in love with me… well… not the me I'm right now, but the Ryan me… I hope that was okay…
"Yeah… thanks Cry…" he replied, but there was something wrong with this… his expression didn't quite match what he was saying… oh well, it's probably nothing anyway…
Our conversation went back to how it always was after that, and I'm glad it did…
After talking to Pewds for a long time I checked my watch, and it was a lot… well shit…
"Pewds… it's 3:30 am now… I think we need sleep…" I said… actually, now that I think about it I'm actually quite sleepy…
"Really? Hmm… yeah then I guess we do need sleep…" Pewds said calmly… doesn't sleep concern him at all?
"You think!? Well night Pewds" I said, I'm feeling even more sleepy now…
"Yeah, good night Cry"
I nearly fell asleep after turning my computer off, but I did manage to get to my bed…
The next morning I woke up in my bed…
Ordinary…
No Pewds on my floor…
Still ordinary…
But something was off… what?
I went down to the kitchen and made some breakfast…
There was something I was forgetting! Or maybe something that I was supposed to do, but didn't do? For fucks sake brain! Help me out here!
…
I've got nothing…
I think it's because I'm still thinking about the conversation Pewds and me had yesterday…
So… he likes me…
Could I ever reply to that? And what? Could I ever get feelings for Pewds? How do I feel about Pewds right now? Damn I don't know anything… not even about myself…
Brain! Why are you not helping me!?
Bastard…
My thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell… what? Who?
When I opened the door I realized what I had forgotten… I have school today…
"Ryan… why weren't you at school?" Pewds asked with a sad expression.
"Oh shit… I… I forgot to… shit… I'm sorry…" I replied… shit how could I forget school!?
"I was asked to teach you what we learned today…" Pewds said… he seems so… down… why? Is it because I didn't show up for school? He did say that he was looking forward to school because he got to see me… but still…
"Then make yourself at home…" I said as I walked to my living room…
"Yeah…" Pewds answered, his voice was barely noticeable because he was speaking so quietly… seriously Pewds?
As we both had entered my living room and Pewds sat down in my couch at last, Pewds was about to say something, when I cut him off.
"So what's up with you?" I said with a little more prissy voice than I had intended…
"I… was the reason you didn't come to school today… me?" he asked… Really? Why would I do that?
"No… why would you-" but this time Pewds cut ME off…
"Well then why didn't you come?" he said with a really sad expression… it felt like he had been waiting at a restaurant and I never showed up… not like this was a date Pewds… it's school…
"Because I woke up just now, and I had a lot on my mind and I forgot, okay?" I said, slight anger evident in my voice… fuck, it feels like I have to defend myself… Pewds wtf? This is not how you seduce someone! And here I thought you were gay…
"Sorry… it's just… I was looking forward to talking to you at school today… and… wait! What's on your mind?" Pewds asked…
"I… I was thinking about all the things… you… shit… I can't explain it…" I said, panicking all over the place… that kinda sounded wrong, didn't it? It kinda sounded like I'm trying to figure out if I really have feelings for him… well I am, but you know that wasn't it… or maybe that I was thinking about him an had… in the morning and… no…
"Thinking about me? What were you… why?" Pewds replied… shit… I should have used my powers to prevent this…
"I… a lot of things… just leave it Pewds…" I said… fuck I hope he leaves it…
"… fine… but you have to promise you'll tell me later, okay?" he said after a short period of silence…
"When is later?" I asked… I'm really hoping later doesn't mean later today or this week…
"You're asking me? Later is when you feel comfortable enough to tell me…" he said…. Thank God for his understanding nature! Damn…
"Okay… good…" I replied.
"So… when IS later?" he asked, and I couldn't help laughing. Even though he has an understanding nature he's also really impatient…
"I'm not sure Pewds" I said, still smiling.
"Felix, Ryan, FELIX" Pewds said… Felix… brain you fucked up again…
"Yeah… sorry… Felix" I said… saying his name gave me a strange feeling… maybe it's because I'm not used to calling him that? Or maybe it's because I'm hungry? Yup, I'm definitely hungry… a combination then?
"I need food…" I said… damn you brain… couldn't you have said it in a less stupid sounding way? Are you trying to make me look stupid? Sound stupid? I don't even…
"Then let's eat together" Pewds, no wait, Felix said. Seeing as I had an argument within it took me a while to respond…
"Umm… okay… restaurant or here?" I asked.
"Restaurant! I mean if it's okay with you?" he asked… Pewds… so now you're trying to get me out on dates? Damn… it's kinda funny because I know… if I didn't know I wouldn't have given it a single thought… but now it's kinda funny…
"Sure, Pewds, sure, fuck! I mean Felix!" there it was again! That feeling… I guess it's gonna take a while until I get used to calling him Felix…
"Haha, so restaurant it is then!" Felix replied, happiness evident in his whole being… it was like he was radiating happiness… and it seems to be contagious…
After the short walk to the restaurant we sat down at the table closest to the exit, because you know, we have to have the best spot in case zombies attack…
During the time it took for us to get our food we discussed what we should do if zombies really did attack, and eventually we came to the conclusion that we needed to get a secure place, or secure the place ourself, and we needed some food… so we figured out that we first needed weapons of some sort, and then we had to take the local store by force… and after that we'd slowly make our way with the food to the old fabric, because you know that was well barricaded from before to keep the kids out, and it was on the outskirts of town, so we didn't have to worry about other people trying to steal it from us! We were about to discuss what we'd do if the other was bitten, but we didn't get far since the food arrived…
After finishing our food we started talking a little until Pewds realized that he hadn't taught me anything yet… and our teacher would flip if he found out… so we decided to go back to my place, and on the way back we continued our discussion about what we should do if one of us got bitten… and we of course would deal with it when shit hit the fan, but until we were about to turn we'd help the other survive…
When we had just walked inside my house and sat down at my couch, neither of us were too keen on talking about school, so we figured we'd put an alarm on to signalize the end of our game time, and the start of our time from hell…
And after playing for a while the alarm buzzed off, but we were in the middle of something and the mood was so good… so we decided to expand our gaming time with an hour…
And after what felt like 10 minutes the alarm went off again… this time I got kinda angry at it… mostly because it scared the shit out of me… so of course I stopped it…
After we finished playing we looked at the watch in horror as it read 3 am… fuck…
"Shit… so umm… can I sleep over tonight too?" Pewds asked…
"Yeah I guess…" I replied… so Pewds was gonna sleep on my floor again? Wow… that's a dream for most people, and it's happened twice to me… I must be blessed…
When I made things ready for Pewds I noticed that Pewds had gotten closer and closer from the door… what the fuck Pewds? Is this how you seduce people? Is it really?
"Umm… what is it?" I asked, mainly because he nearly went inside my personal space…
"Nothing… just umm… remember to put the alarm on…" he replied, a faint blush visible on his cheeks… well shit, I guess he can be cute at times too…
"Oh yeah, thanks p-Felix" I said as I walked downstairs to get the alarm clock…
When I got up again Pewds had finished making everything ready for bed and was ready to go to bed.
"Sooo… I guess I'll put it to about one hour earlier this time? We do need to go through… school stuff… so yeah…" I said as I walked into my room towards Pewds…
"Yeah…" Pewds answered.
After the both of us had gotten in bed and said our goodnights we drifted off to sleep… well not me… I had too much to think about… and the main reason for that was lying on my floor…
Do I like Pewds? Am I ready to try something with him? What the fuck should I do if he asks me out or tries kissing me or something!? Isn't there some kind of answer to all of this?
Eventually I managed to fall asleep after about an hour of thinking about things…