Rose invited herself to my initiation. Rose had invited herself to everything I'd done lately. I was only grateful that she left me alone in the bathroom. I thought about asking to go to a bar just to mess with her, but I wasn't that mean. Not that it would have stopped her from coming. I probably would have gotten in trouble if I brought the president's daughter back home puking everywhere.
Instead, I had us all go visit Emma's grave. It took a while to plan, since it was in another District. Victors were discouraged from traveling between Districts, but they didn't mind if we didn't get crazy with it. Most of us had no reason to go, and half of us were agoraphobic.
I was a little resentful that Rose came along. She was the reason Emma was dead. But when I thought about it, Emma had been dead before that anyway. Rose could have saved her, it was true, but she didn't make her any more dead than she was before. I wondered how it would have turned out for Rose if Emma had won. I was sure she would have played the part, but Rose might have discovered a killer wasn't a good friend for a little girl.
I brought a wildflower for Emma's grave. It was a plain flower, not a princess's flower. I would have said something profound or emotional, but Rose was right next to me, holding my hand and cramping my style. It was a good thing I'd gotten all the deep stuff out in the Arena.
I was also a little resentful seeing Tillo again. We didn't get along well last time. After I'd paid my respects, I slipped away while Mars was playing with Rose.
"Hey! What are you doing here? You killed me!" I said as I poked a finger at her.
"You want an apology?" she asked, clearly not volunteering one. I paused.
"Not really. I'm just mad," I said.
"Me too," she said. In a fairy tale, we would have become best friends. In real life, we just didn't kill each other again, and that was as friendly as we ever got.
I'd finally gotten to go home. Naturally, Rose followed me. I don't know what she expected, since Dustin and I lived in a shack. While he ran out to meet me and I tackle-hugged him, Rose stared in shocked distaste at our house.
"You live in the barn?" she asked.
"We live in the house," I said. "Welcome to Chez Calvary." I swept out an arm grandly.
"That's a house?" Rose asked again.
"Sure is, squirt," I said.
"Are you poor?" she asked.
"Not around here. We're just normal," I said. She looked around our dumpy abode and its bare surroundings as I caught up with Dustin.
She perked up when she saw the horses. Not that Dustin and I had ever been rich enough to own horses. Snow sent them before Rose came and told us to pretend. For free horses, I'd play along.
"Which one do you like?" I asked, hoping Rose would pick the short pony Snow obviously intended for his short daughter.
"That one!" she said, pointing at the pony. I breathed a sigh of relief and was glad Snow was smart enough to send one dingy brown horse and one sparkly white pony with a pink mane.
"Good choice. This is Petal," I said, thinking on my feet. "What do you say we learn you how to ride?"
It could have been worse, all things considered. Snow didn't want a smelly District kid living in his palace, and he certainly didn't want his princess living in a hut. So we worked it out that Rose would come visit Ten for day trips whenever she wanted and I'd spend every third week with her in the Capitol. I may have been her newest and favorite toy, but she had other things to keep her busy. She didn't need to be with me all the time.
"Didn't you ride back home?" I asked as I helped Rose. She was less skilled than I'd expected. Surely the princess had tutors and fine Arabian horses.
"I wanted Dad to teach me, but he kept saying he was busy," Rose said.
"Oh. That's too bad," I said. I'd underestimated Rose again, or maybe I'd overestimated her. I thought of her as Snow's daughter- the little girl taught everything she knew by a tyrant. But as she sat on Petal, her legs dangling and her face bright with glee, she just looked like a girl. She was Snow's daughter, not Snow. No doubt she was influenced by him. She wasn't some naive angel who knew to ignore the lies and ambition he was drilling into her. But she wasn't only that.
I felt the strangest sort of pity as I walked next to her, holding Petal steady. She had it all, but she'd missed out on so much. She didn't know about hard work or how a community came together to slaughter the livestock or care for someone whose house had burned down. She didn't know what it was like to have a brother who loved you so much he sold his shoes to buy you a box of crayons for your birthday. She didn't know about achieving anything for yourself and knowing you'd really earned it. All she knew was the Capitol, and her father, and riches and adoration. I didn't know who she really was, because she never got a chance to find out. She was just Snow's daughter, the little princess. Always Snow, never Rose.