Chapter 8: Exploring
[Cry's pov…]
"Let's try dating…" Ryan what the fuck are you saying!?
"Really? You sure? I mean as you said yourself, you're not thinking straight…" Felix asked, and I could see how conflicted he was about that sentence, there was a hint of worry and hope behind that sentence…
"Yeah… I guess I've been feeling so confused lately, been having too much to think about… and that's probably why I flipped over such a small thing… I'm sorry… but I really want to at least try dating you… so… let's try?" I said… that makes sense… I guess that's… that's really accurate… brain why don't you ever tell me stuff like this? I could have avoided so much…
"Okay… since you're so set on it I guess I could try! But be aware! There's going to be kissing!" Felix said in an attempt at lightening the mood a bit… and it worked… we both laughed a little….
"We should probably get back to class now… it started about 10 minutes ago…" Felix said… we had returned to how we used to be now… thank God for that… I hate it when he gets hurt or when he's acting strange at all… well… not entirely back to normal… I still felt a little down… and we all know there's only one thing to do when you feel down or angry…
"Yeah… but first!" I said just before I hugged Felix… damn this feels WAY to good… I could get addicted to this…
We figured we'd skip the first period and show up in the first recess…
When we were about to walk inside I felt the weight of Frank on me again, and I froze for a moment… I had actually said a lot of stupid and… shit… I'd have to tell them that I was sorry…
"Don't worry about it Ryan, I'm right behind you" Felix said, and that actually gave me the courage to open the door…
"Ha, so now he's back huh? What were you about to say earlier?" Kathrin immediately asked… she sounded kinda angry…
"Nothing… I… I'm sorry… I just kinda acted out for nothing… and I feel really bad about it… I've had a lot on my mind lately and I kinda just blew up… sorry…" I said…
Amelia walked up to me and gave me a hug…
"It's okay Ryan… you've just had a hard time, we all have that sometimes, so we forgive you… RIGHT? Kathrin!?" after 'forgive you…' she turned around and looked angrily at Kathrin, which looked slightly scared…
"Y-yeah…" Kathrin replied…
When it all was over, and the next class started, the whole 'I'm dating Felix' thing dawned on me… I'm actually dating Felix… I still don't know how I really feel about him though… but I'm dating Felix… shit… I'm… kissing… he said there would be kissing… but I get to hug him as many times as I'd like though… I'm actually dating Felix!
Before I knew it class ended and Felix came over to me and just kinda pulled me out of the classroom again, but this time he took me to the front of our school…
"So let's go home!" Felix said happily as he started walking towards my house…
"Umm… okay…" I replied… I still have no idea what's going on… but I'll just go with whatever he deems right…
We didn't really talk much during the walk back to my place… we just walked… and when we arrived at my house we just sat down in my couch… what now?
"So… how far am I allowed to go? Kissing? Touching? Making out?" Felix suddenly asked, and I had no idea what to reply to that… I mean I don't even know how far my limit is…
"I don't know… I know hugging is okay… and… kissing I guess… but I don't really know where the line goes for me yet…" I said… well fuck me… my brain listened to me…
"So that means we try things out?" Felix asked, and I nodded in response…
"Okay… then let's eat and then maybe play some games?" Felix asked, surprising me a little… I thought he was going to try things out right away… I really don't mind trying stuff out with him? Do I have feelings for him after all?
"Yeah…" I replied… maybe that thing with his name wasn't because I'm not used to calling him that? Nor because I was hungry?
"Felix" I said… and the feeling I had gotten that time was stronger… so does that mean I have some sort of feelings towards him? Shit, I've been acting so damn gay lately…
"Yeah? What is it Ryan?" Felix answered… oh yeah… when you say a name that usually means you want their attention… I forgot that for a second there…
"Umm… say my name… please?" what the… why? Why would I say…
"Ryan" Felix said, and I suddenly understood why I had asked… he clearly had the same feelings when he said my name as I had just a few seconds ago… but his feelings looked so much more overwhelming… I guess that means I like him… at least a little…
"Thanks…" I said, blushing a little… that must have been kinda weird for him…
"No problem" Felix said, smiling… damn his smiles are just too… no… Ryan stop being so gay…
During the meal I was completely silent… I was thinking things through, and I noticed that I've been thinking more about feelings and stuff this week than I had done in my entire life… Felix what are you doing to me?
"Umm, Felix? Do you… by any chance…. Still want to explore the place?" I asked, my cheeks feels kinda warm… I'm acting so gay right now… what's that all about?
"Yeah! So… want to be my personal guide?" Felix asked, and for some reason that sounded kinda kinky…
"Sure" I answered.
We ended up just walking around in town, but I didn't mind… we were making bad jokes and relaxing, and just… having fun… it was nice… I could finally just relax from all the thinking about everything… and I guess Frank had been hanging on me for a while now… but during the exploration he left me alone…
"Well that was fun, and thanks to you I now know where all the restaurants in town are!" Felix said teasingly.
"Hey! At least I didn't want to visit all the gay places like you did…" I replied
"Oh stop it, you know you liked it!" Felix said, and we both laughed our asses off… this is just like we always do, and I've been missing it a little… we've been too serious for a while now, and it just gets to intense… we need to mess around sometimes…
"Ryan" Felix said, and I could see that emotion in his eyes again…
"Yeah?" I asked, still smiling from the previous laughter he and I shared…
"I've had a lot of fun today… thanks" he said, looking into my eyes, a bright smile spread across his face.
"You're welcome" I said, returning his smile… this would have been the perfect time to confess… Felix, you're just too impatient…
Felix came closer and closer to me, but this time I was kinda ready for it… so I closed my eyes to focus on the feeling I got, this of course was because I needed to know if I liked it or not… he put his hands on my cheeks and our second kiss happened… it was a short kiss, and as soon as I opened my eyes I could see Felix searching for something… something like a special feeling or? I'm not quite sure… probably wants to know if I liked it or not, if I accepted it or not… I looked away and I could feel my cheeks burning… that stare of his is so intense…
"So?" Felix asked hesitantly…
"I-it's okay…" damn it, why do I stutter all the time when I'm with him now?
"Oh thank God" Felix said just before he hugged me… and as usual the hug ended way too early in my opinion…
"Let's go back to your place, shall we? I mean it is getting kinda dark, and you never know what might happen I during the dark!" Felix said, and it kinda felt like he was referring to what he might do to me when I couldn't see…
"Yeah…" I replied.
We started walking towards my house shortly after, and during that walk Felix took my hand in his… I don't mind holding hands with Felix…
this is the shortest chapter so far... but the next chapter will be longer...