Chapter 9: Boundaries
[Cry's pov…]
I didn't feel anything when Amelia hugged me… it was nice enough, I mean a hug always feels nice, but I didn't get the same feeling I got from Felix's hugs… and I liked the kiss… would I feel the same way about a kiss from Amelia? From anyone else? Do I really like Felix? I guess I do… at least a little…
"Hey Ryan, what are you thinking about?" Felix asked, as he looked at me with curiosity…
"Not much… just about hugging…" I answered… I'm blushing again aren't I?
"You mean this?" he asked just before walked over to me and hugged me.
"Yeah…" I said, as I hugged him back… I REALLY like hugging Felix…
Felix just chuckled slightly and pulled me away a little to kiss me… I kinda like kissing him too…
We haven't gone any farther than this… all that testing my boundaries hasn't really happened yet… it's been about a week since that "exploring " date happened… and luckily there hasn't been any more of those episodes at school either…
"I've got a skype chat with Cry tonight at eight, but the rest of the time you've got my full attention" Felix said… note to self: remember to turn on your computer when Felix leave…
"Okay…" I replied.
"So what do you want to do?" Felix asked… was it just me or did he say that in a slightly darker tone than usual? Felix? Are you implying what I think you're implying?
"I don't know… what do you want to do?" I asked…
"I'm not sure… I guess just hang out?" he replied… oh, I know what you'd like to do…
"Okay…" I replied... what else do you reply to that?
"Shit, okay so I want to try things out…" Felix then said… aha, I knew you wouldn't be able to hold out for too long…
"I guess that's alright… I mean we haven't really tried anything… and it's been a week" I said… I guess I've gotten used to the whole "I'm dating Felix" thing…
"Really? Okay, then what do we… start with?" he asked, and I could nearly FEEL the nervousity from that sentence…
"Umm… I'm not too sure… just try something I guess?" I answered, and as soon as I had said that I got really nervous… Felix and I are going to "try something out"… shit…
"Okay… then tell me if you want me to stop…" Felix said, and I couldn't help but feel like this was going to continue until I stopped him…
"Okay…" I replied…
Felix sat there for a little while until he started leaning in towards me… he kissed me, first on my right cheek, and then on the lips. But this kiss lasted longer than the previous ones, and Felix's hands were on my hips… Felix didn't remove his hands when the kiss ended, and after looking me in the eyes for a little while he went back in for another kiss… but this kiss was different… I could feel his tongue on my lips, and I immediately knew he wanted to try making out…
I let him…
Making out was such a strange feeling, and yet it felt kinda good… it was kinda hot… I guess this much is okay… but then Felix's hands started moving, and it kinda caught me by surprise, so I jumped a little… Felix must have taken this as me wanting to stop, because he immediately pulled away…
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…" Felix said… he's panicking…
"Don't worry about it… it wasn't like… when you moved your hands I… it just caught me by surprise… if I wanted you to stop I'd push you away… stop being so goddamn nervous all the time…" I said… he's kinda cute when he's like this though…
"Really?... okay, but you really have to tell me when you want to stop…" Felix replied… I don't think I find these kinds of stuff weird or embarrassing any more… and that's kinda strange, because I usually fret about everything all the time… fuck, I don't think I would care even if Felix found out that I'm Cry… why am I still keeping that secret? I mean it wouldn't have meant anything if only Felix got to know… it's not like he would tell anyone… why have I been so set on keeping it a secret!?
I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed that Felix had gotten closer to me… we started making out again, and this time I didn't get startled when his hands moved… Felix started moving faster as he got more and more eager, and when he touched in between my legs I gasped. I tried pushing a little at his chest, but he was too lost in what he was doing. Felix then slowly got on top of me, and I could feel my back make contact with the couch.
"S-stop!" I nearly yelled, and I got really nervous… I could feel my cheeks burning… so this is my boundary… hugs are fine, kissing is fine, even making out is… okay… but when it came to touching that place… nope… not yet…
For a moment it seemed like Felix was going to ignore what I said, and just continue anyway, but then he said "Okay… so that's where the line goes?"
"Yeah… at least for now… I mean it's only been… I'm still not-" I started but he cut me off by continuing my sentence "Ready for it…"
We stayed like that for a while until Felix finally got up…
"You owe me a kiss for getting my hopes up!" Felix said jokingly, but somehow I knew that he was slightly upset by me stopping him when it was starting to get interesting…
I laughed a little and then I kissed him…
"I guess you do, I'm sorry…" I said… he looked kinda startled by that… he didn't think I'd do it… well I DID! I'm so unpredictable…
"You have no idea what you're doing to me Ryan…" Felix said, and I couldn't help laughing a little…
"I guess I don't… but I might find that out for myself later…" I replied as I smiled softly at him…
"Fuck…" Felix said just before he leaned in and kissed me more passionately, and when he stopped he hugged me… that kiss was so damn hot…
"Fuck indeed" I said back… no pun intended here…
Felix laughed softly and then pulled away from me, successfully ending the hug…
"Let's just play some games?" I asked, not too sure what to do in these situations…
"Umm, okay…" Felix answered with a blush across his face…
We started playing, and I noticed that Felix wasn't concentrating on the game at all, so I paused the game…
"Okay, what's up?" I asked… he stared at me for a while before answering…
"I… it's nothing… but I guess I should go… I have to skype, you know…" he said while he blushed like no tomorrow… what the fuck Felix?
"Really?" I asked as I leaned closer, to check thoroughly of course… but when he started moving away from me I kinda understood what it was...
"That much?" I then asked.
"Kinda…" Felix answered... since when did we learn how to read each other's minds?
"Wow…" I said, as I just sat there and looked at him in disbelief…
"Not like I can help it… you turn me on…" Felix said… well now you all know what's up… pun intended…
"So…?" I asked… shit am I really going there?
"What do you mean with 'so'? does this mean that you'd…" Felix left the last sentence hanging… would I?
"I… some of it… I mean making out is okay, but you know touching to a certain degree is… if that'd help then…" I said hesitantly… am I really implying what I think I'm implying here?
"You sure? I mean I might just…" Felix asked... shit this is going to happen isn't it?
"Yeah… I'll stop you if it gets too… intimate…" I replied… well shit…
I could tell that Felix had been holding his breath during our conversation, and I'm really nervous right now… that's not really a good combination…
Felix got closer again, and I could feel my heartbeat quickening… he put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes for a short while until he hugged me… during that hug I could feel my heartbeat get slower, and it suddenly felt like I could easily do anything…
However, when the hug stopped… do I really need to explain that one?
Felix started slowly as he kissed my cheek, and then my mouth, both very short kisses… I could feel his hands go down my arms, and up again, and it all just sent small shivers down my spine… not good… I'm getting WAY to into this…
Then Felix and I started making out… and I just couldn't help getting more and more into this… his hands were traveling all over my body, exploring… and I'd be lying if I told you mine didn't explore some of his body too…
Felix started kissing and nibbling at my neck, and the feeling of his mouth on my neck plus the feeling of his hands going all over my body got too much for me, and I involuntarily let out a small moan…
I'm starting to… really… enjoy this… okay so Felix apparently turns me on…
Then the alarm went off…
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
I know... I'm so mean... the alarm of all things...