Chapter 10: discovering things
[Cry's pov…]
When the alarm went off we kinda just ignored it at first, but when IT wouldn't stop WE did…
"Fuck!" Felix said angrily just before he got up and turned it off… after a little while he looked at me, a little out of breath…
"Continue where we left off?" he asked hopefully, even though he knew the alarm meant something…
"Skype, wasn't it?" I said… shit I'm really out of breath… and fuck, that was hot…
"Damn… really? Cry could wait for a little while?" Felix asked, and I let out a small chuckle…
"Okay… I take that as a no?" Felix asked….
"I guess… you'll just have to jerk off by yourself" I said, as I started to laugh…
"What about you?" he asked before my laugh infected him…
"What about me?" I asked in reply.
Felix got closer again, and I could feel my heart beating faster again when he got really close… he could just lean in and kiss me right now…
"Will you be jerking off by yourself?" he asked, with a smirk, successfully making me blush…
"Umm… I…" I said, but the combination of the question he asked and the fact that he was so close to me made me unable to finish my sentence…
"Haha, you're cute when you're like this" Felix said as he moved a little further away from me…
"Hey! I'm a manly man and you know it!" I replied.
"Sure, Ryan, sure…" he replied, and I was about to come with an answer, but then he kissed me, and I forgot all about it…
"Well… I should get going then" Felix said as he got up and started walking towards my front door… I got up and walked after him…
"Yeah… bye" I said when he had gotten ready to leave…
"Bye" Felix said just before he gave me a goodbye kiss…
And then he went outside and I closed the door after him…
And then everything dawned on me… if that clock hadn't stopped us when it did, who knew what we would have done? How far we'd go? I mean I was kinda lost in the new feelings and stuff, and Felix really wants to do this… but I don't think I'm ready for all this just yet…
Shit if this keeps up we'll be having sex in about three weeks' time, and I'm NOT ready for that…
Wait…
During sex… who'd be on top!?
I've got to research this… I'm lucky enough to get a few outside opinions on this matter, I mean people are writing fanfictions about us, so I get to see what people think of it all…
But first skype…
I turned on my computer… and then I made some snacks and stuff so I could just sit there and relax in front of the computer as long as I wanted…
I relaxed and went through a few things on my accounts, and when I checked my watch it was time for me and Felix to talk…
I waited for a few minutes and he still hadn't logged on… why? He went home to talk to me… that sounded kinda stupid…
I continued going through comments and stuff when I noticed that Felix finally got online… what took you so damn long?
"Hi Cry…" Felix greeted…
"Sup?" I replied…
"Cry! I've got to tell you a few things…" he said… he have to tell me something? What could that possibly be? I mean I know nearly everything about you Felix…
"Shoot" I said, still wondering what he wanted to tell me…
"You remember that guy I told you about, the one that I kinda fell for?" Felix asked, and I replied with a simple "Yeah?"
"Well we're dating! And well… we have actually been for a while now… but today we were going to test his boundaries and I think he's really gotten into me! It's been so much progress!" Felix said, radiating happiness even through the screen…
"Well that's good for you I guess…" I replied… I have no idea what to say in a situation like this… what else would I tell him? "hey, yeah, you know what? I'm that guy" or "Well yeah, but I don't think he's ready for sex anytime soon… and hey, my name is Ryan you know… do you think that's a coincidence?"
I have to tell him that I'm Cry sometime too… but first I want him to tell me everything he secretly thinks about me!
"Cry? I kinda… have something else to tell you… but I just can't do that right now…" Felix said… oh now I'm curious…
"Okay, but you do know you can trust me right? No matter what it is…" I said to encourage him to tell me…
"Yeah… but this is… I just can't right now… okay?" Felix replied… damn…
"Give me a hint of some sort?" I said… by now he should have realized that I really want to know…
"I could tell you that it has to do with my ex-girlfriend…" he said, and this just perked my interest even more… what does he mean by that? Is he cheating on me!? He's not gay after all!? What's up!?
"Damn Felix! Now I REALLY have to know!" I replied…
"Yeah I… I can't… I told you because I thought maybe… maybe I'd be able to tell you if… but I can't…" Felix said… Felix you Goddamn teaser!
"Felix…" I said in a darker tone, signalizing that I was starting to get irritated…
"I'm sorry Cry… and hey… I noticed that you've been calling me by my real name lately… why's that? You used to always call me Pewds or Pewdie…" Felix asked… oh shit… I'm kinda giving myself away here… but wait… it doesn't really matter…
"That's because you told me you wanted me to call you Felix…" I replied… so it's time, huh?
"Oh I did? I can't remember that… but oh well… I prefer that anyway…" Felix said… fuck he's slow… oh well… let's just go with this…
"Yeah… but what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, tell me!" I replied…
"No, Cry I just can't! It wouldn't be fair… or I don't… it would actually be wrong of me to tell you right now… I'm such a jerk…" Felix said… what, the, fuck!? What could possibly? WHAT!?
"Felix!? What the hell!?" I asked, I was starting to get REALLY impatient now… and angry…
"Just drop it…" Felix said… he sounds kinda depressed…
"Felix…" I said… seeing that he's really depressed by this calmed me down quite efficiently…
"Just… drop it…" Felix said again…
Frank is hanging on me again… damn you Frank…
Frank stayed during the silent period our conversation currently had…
"S-so… does… does your boyfriend like games?" I asked, trying to get Frank off our backs… but after that I kinda felt all warm inside… haha… boyfriend… Felix is my boyfriend…
"Yeah, he kinda have the same interests as you do…" Felix replied…
"He does?" I asked, even though I already knew that…
"Yeah…" there was a short pause after this… "you don't seem fazed by this at all…" Felix then said… what does he mean by that?
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked…
"Umm… it's nothing… I wasn't supposed to say that…" Felix said, and I could clearly see that he was fretting over it a lot…
"Well, you did say it… so now you have to tell me…" I said…
"No I… it's just… no you probably don't anyway…" Felix said…
"Felix, come on man! You're teasing me WAY too much today…" I said, and although I didn't mean anything with it, it did sound kinda wrong…
"I know… but it's just… I have a lot on my mind… especially since I'm dating him… because… you remember when I told you about when I met him? And that I also told you that I had someone else that I had liked before him? And that I have no faith in the fact that that person might ever agree to date me? Well that person gave me some signs that… well say otherwise… and it all just… messes with my head… don't get me wrong… I'm not going to break up with him, I'm really glad he actually agreed to date me… and I really want this relationship to last… but it still messes with my head… and I'm still not sure who I like the most… but right now he's the one for me I guess…" Felix said… or rather confessed… the fuck!? Well I can't tell him that I'm me yet… that's for sure… I need to know everything first…
"Wow… but didn't you test out boundaries today? What were you thinking? I mean if your head is messed up, then you shouldn't do stuff like that…" I replied… make your move Felix…
"No, that's not it… I got those signs from that other person today after the whole testing boundaries thing…" Felix said… so who did he talk with before this!? He was supposed to go straight home and talk to me… damn I need explanations…
"But didn't you say that you just came home? And besides, who is this person anyway!? I mean you even delayed our conversation because of him… or her… no wait, you're gay… him…" I replied.
"Well that's… I'm not ready to tell anyone yet, okay?" Felix asked... are you serious Felix!?
"Fine… don't tell me anything at all…" I replied, quite angrily if I must say so myself…
"Cry… don't be like that… I'm just not ready to tell anyone yet…" Felix then said… damn it Felix, I need answers!
"Oh for fuck's sake Felix, how long have we known each other? And for how long have we been best buds!?" I asked…
"Cry… don't use that on me… and besides, you never tell me stuff from your life…" Felix replied…
"Yes I do!" I said… probably shouldn't have said that… but you know, I'm kinda pissed off at the fact that he's not willing to tell me anything at all…
"Oh really? Then tell me all about all your love stories Cry! Tell me who you currently have an interest in! Or maybe you don't have one right now? Did you just have one? I have no idea because you never tell me stuff like this!" Felix rage-replied… well damn… I sat there silently for a little while until I had thought things a little through and decided to "fuck it"…
"I… I do currently have a person of interest… but before this person… okay so let's just start at the beginning shall we? My first interest was this girl named Amanda… she was nice to everyone and I really liked her because of her nature… I once got the courage to ask her out, but she turned me down because she had a boyfriend… a few years later we ended up in the same class again and she asked ME out… I said yes even though I didn't have feelings for her anymore because I didn't have the heart to turn her down… we were together for a year, and I had started to get feelings for her again… but then she broke up with me… told me she finally found out that she was gay… that was my first person of interest… and I haven't really had anyone serious after that… well until now…" I said… damn… it felt kinda good to let all of that out though… I mean I hadn't really told anyone… I left out the fact that she had told me that she wanted me to be her last male companion because she knew I was a good person, and that she would have married me if she wasn't a lesbian… but is that really necessary to bring up?
"Damn Cry… that… that must have been hard on you…" Felix said… you know that feeling you get when you didn't really mind something but then someone brought it up, and you felt the hurt and sadness you should have felt earlier? Well I have that right now… it's not like I like her anymore… but your first will always be your first…
"I guess… but I never really thought about it after that… I guess I just moved on with my life…" I said… I sounded so hurt and depressive for a moment there… that was NOT my intention… but does life ever listen to what you want? No… no it doesn't…
"But hey, at least I found someone else, right?" I said… I don't want Frank to return…
"I guess… who is this person of interest anyway?" Felix asked… oh shit…
"Umm…" I started… think Ryan, think! "Well you're not telling me who that person you're interested in is, so I'm not telling until you do…" oh shit, oh shit, what do I do if he actually tells me?
"Fuck… okay you got a clue from me, so it's your time to give me one!" Felix said, and I could tell how much he wanted to know… Felix you're way too curious…
"Well… it's a he…"
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okay so this is the longest chapter till now... but it kinda just wrote itself...
and guys... this story have gotten 10 chapters already, and based on the next chapter it will most likely be about 10 more chapters... I only intended for it to have about 5... because I don't like writing that much and I don't really have the time to do it... and this is about the 6 th story I have written in my entire life... and it's the first fanfic I've ever written (not only the first I upload... but also the fist I have written... at all) ... so I'm really glad you guys like it! that really makes me happy...
I've gotten nothing but nice comments, and without them I wouldn't have written more than about 3 chapters until I gave up on it... (I can't function without someone telling me that I have to continue what I'm doing... quite silly actually...)
you guys have no idea how happy your comments make me... I'm nearly crying tears of happiness each time I read one of your comments...