Chapter 11: the countdown
[Cry's pov…]
"Well… it's a he…" Oh fuck… did I just tell him that!?
"WHAT!? Cry? Are you gay!?" Felix asked in both shock and disbelief…
"No… I don't think so… I guess I'm gay for him…" that sounds so cliché… but damn that does explain it all… I mean I've always liked girls… but Felix is… different… it's only him… it's not like I "check guys out"… I'm only interested in Felix… wow… I'm really starting to get serious feelings for Felix aren't I? Fuck… which means I have to do everything I can in the power of Cry to stop him from choosing that other guy he's interested in!
"Really? Well that's… umm… well…" Felix started, and I couldn't help notice how depressed and demotivated he was… "So… who is he?" Felix asked…
"Felix… we've been over this… I'm not telling until you do…" I said…
"Then… let's agree on a date that we absolutely have to tell each other… because I think I need that to actually tell you…" Felix said… that's not really okay…
"Okay… when?" I really need to know that much, huh?
"I don't know… in a months' time?" Felix asked… yeah that sounds about fine…
"No… I need to know… twenty days? That's a compromise between yours and mine… trust me…" I replied… you know what? Fuck it… I'm totally fine with whatever my brain comes up with…
"That means you were going for… ten days!? Really!? No… okay I'll take your offer…" Felix replied…
"Then it's set… we have an agreement… you can't back out of it now Felix…" I said… but neither can I…
"Yeah…" Felix replied…
After that we kinda just talked about everything and nothing… mostly games… and after a while we said our goodbyes and logged off… and I went to sleep…
Tomorrow there's no school… fuck yeah!
I lied down on my bed and drifted off to sleep as I thought about my conversation with Felix and how I would spend my weekend with him…
The next day I woke up because of the doorbell… so I got dressed and walked downstairs…
When I opened the door I knew what would greet me…
"Good morning Ryan" Felix said with one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen… someone is excited about the weekend…
"Morning Felix" I replied.
Felix then proceeded to give me a morning kiss… these kisses have become a natural thing for me by now… I guess we've become a happy couple thingy…
As we went to the living room and sat down at my couch I thought about all the things we had been talking about the previous day… so twenty days… wait does this day count? If that's the case it's nineteen days until a potential break up between me and Felix… that's kinda sad… it all depends on if he's willing to go for me or go over to that other person… fuck, I hope he picks me… because I don't think I can go through another "Amanda episode"… the first one was bad enough…
"Ryan? Earth to Ryan…" Felix said, and I snapped out of my previous thoughts…
"Yeah? What is it?" I replied…
"What were you thinking about? You looked kinda worried…" Felix asked… naw, you're so cute when you worry about me…
"It was nothing, just thinking about a few things…" I replied with a smile spread across my face.
"Okay… so what do you want to do today?" Felix asked.
"I'm not sure… do you have anything in mind?" I asked in reply…
"No… nothing in particular… go out somewhere maybe?" Felix replied.
"Yeah… a movie maybe?" I asked, and I could see him getting excited.
"Yeah, there's this cool new movie out, we could go see that?" Felix said… haha, yeah that sounds like us… going to see a cool new movie… it's like, nope, we're not going to see some romantic comedy or something, are you kidding me? We're going to see horror and action movies! Wow, what kind of couple are we? Haha, but that's how I like it…
I couldn't help but snicker as those thoughts passed through my mind, before replying "Yeah, let's do that"
We went to the get our tickets and to check when the movie started, and as it turned out we were about two hours early…
"Eat at a restaurant?" Felix asked, and I just nodded in response…
After a lot of talking and laughing at the restaurant we got our food, and the food was pretty well made… after we finished eating we started talking together again.
"Ryan! We have about 10 minutes until the movie starts!" Felix said in panic before we hurriedly paid for the food and ran towards the door at the restaurant…
We made it just in time…
After the movie ended we started walking back to my house, and during that walk we talked about what we liked about the movie and what we didn't like about it…
When we had entered my house, we sat down at my couch again…
"So, games I presume?" Felix asked.
"Yeah" I replied.
We played games until we felt tired… yes, we could do that because there wasn't any school tomorrow…
"Felix… I'm starting to get really sleepy…" I said.
"Okay, then let's go to sleep" he replied.
After that we walked upstairs and I started making everything ready, but then Felix stopped me…
"Ryan… you don't really have to do that anymore… I mean isn't it okay to sleep in the same bed? I mean it's not really necessary to get that matrass out anymore… it's too much trouble when we could avoid it…"Felix said carefully… it's not like it would be a problem to get the matrass ready for him, but I guess he really wants to… cuddle and stuff…
The thought of me and Felix cuddling together in a bed made me blush slightly.
"Okay…" I replied.
Felix lightened up and hugged me before we went to bed…
It was kinda nice actually… Felix's arms were around me… and I realized that I had the female role right now… fuck… I swear I'm a manly man!
"Goodnight Ryan" Felix said and my previous worries and thoughts were swept away as I could hear his words so close to me… it was like I could hear it through his chest…
"Night Felix…" I said… and since we're talking about chest… I could hear his heartbeat and it was so soothing and relaxing… and eventually I fell asleep while listening to it…
That was the first day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 19 days left…
I woke up and as I opened my eyes I could see Felix looking at me with a smile… I swear he's never asleep… how the fuck do you even function Felix?
"Good morning Ryan" Felix said, and I smiled as I said my good morning back… I then proceeded to lean in and give him a good morning kiss… haha, I beat you to it Felix! And everyone knows the male in the relationship makes the first move!
"I'll go make breakfast, okay?" Felix said happily as he got up from the bed and started walking down towards the kitchen… HA! Another female role taken on by you! Maybe I really can turn the roles around and be on top!?
I then got dressed and walked down to the kitchen and ate breakfast with Felix…
"So what do you want to do today?" he asked… hadn't really thought about that…
"I don't know… I just like spending time with you… so whatever you feel like doing…" I said… wow… that was a really huge shock for Felix… and he seemed to nearly explode of happiness from it…
"Then let's just hang out and do everything and nothing!" Felix said, and I couldn't have come up with anything better to do myself… wow, this weekend was really badly planned on both parts... but that's okay… I guess that's just how it's supposed to be between us… a lot of badly planned actions…
"Yeah, let's do that" I replied with a smile…
So we kinda ended up talking about stuff we liked, disliked and useless stuff… like what we'd do in a series of events… like aliens invading the earth… well it'd be useful if that happened, but it hasn't yet… and then we played some games… don't we always?
After a while we got tired of playing games and decided to just go back to talking… after a while of talking though…
"So have your feelings for me increased yet?" Felix asked jokingly, but I could see that he really wanted to know…
"Nope, not at all…" I said, trying to keep my calm… but when I saw how depressed he got I decided to end the joke there…
I leaned over and kissed him just before I said "I was kidding Felix…"
And the look on his face after that was just priceless… it was just like a kid when he opened a present on Christmas and saw exactly what he wished for…
"Oh thank God!" Felix said before he gave me a kiss in return…
"Actually I'm… I'm starting to get… I'm starting to get a lot of feelings for you…" I said, and I could feel my cheeks getting warmer… I am in a way confessing to him…
"Progress!" Felix said happily just before he jumped on me, successfully pushing me over so that my back was on the couch… déjà vu…
"Felix…" I said hesitantly before he kissed me…
"It's okay Ryan… I'm not going to do anything… I'm just really happy that you're starting to let me in to your heart…" Felix said… fuck, I'm falling WAY too deeply for him…
"Okay…" I said just before I contradicted my previous behavior by kissing him passionately…
"Wow… are you trying to seduce me?" Felix asked as he looked at me with lust filled eyes…
"No, not really… I'm not ready to go too far with you yet… I'm not too sure about how I really feel about you… but I know that I'm getting there…" I said… and that was the truth… I mean I AM falling for him… or maybe I already have… just a little though… but at the same time I'm trying hard to not fall for him… because of that whole thing about him having another "person of interest"…
"Then why are you making me… no, it doesn't matter… but you really have to stop seducing me all the time… I'll take it the wrong way…" Felix said, laughing a little at the end of the sentence…
"Noted…" I replied… there was a hint of another meaning behind his sentence… like he didn't know what he would do to me if I did seduce him another time…
"Good…" Felix said before he got off me… I kinda liked having him o- NOPE, we're not going to go there…
"It's kinda getting late… and I don't have any of the stuff I need for school here…" Felix then said… it took a while for me to realize what he had said… mainly because I had been in a daze… I'm kinda getting too close to wanting to go further with him…
"Yeah I guess…" I said… I sounded so depressed… like I never wanted him to leave… well… I guess it's more like I don't want the time to go so fast… the day of possible break up between me and Felix is getting closer and closer…
"Hey, don't be so sad, I mean we'll be able to see each other tomorrow at school… and then after school?" Felix said comfortingly at first, but ended it with a questioning tone…
"Yeah…" I simply said in return… I want to spend the rest of our time together… fuck… that feels like we're going to die… well a part of me IS going to die if this really ends…
"Okay, then I'll be going home now… goodbye Ryan" Felix said just before he gave me a kiss.
"Yeah… goodbye…" I replied… I was thankfully able to uphold my halo in front of him, but on the inside I felt really sad… because I knew that this might be one of the last goodbyes we'll share like this… the countdown to the last goodbye kiss… just like the thought of the fact that each minute that passes might be our last…
Fuck now I'm really depressed… I feel like watching TV shows and eat ice-cream…
Damn… I better just set the alarm and go to sleep before I get a ton of ice-cream and get fat…
When I lied down in my bed I tried sleeping, but I just couldn't because I was thinking about all the depressive things I could…
No, Ryan… you just have to start thinking about happy stuff so that you might get at least SOME sleep… like puppies… they're cuddly and warm and funny… just like… Felix… pfft, Felix is a puppy…
That line of thoughts made me able to eventually fall asleep…
I really like Felix…
That was the second day of the twenty days until a possible break up… 18 days left…
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This is getting really sad... I'm sorry...