To: Alice Cullen
From: Isabella Swan
Subject: You there?
September 12th 2010
10:05 PM

Alice,

You haven't been on recently. Probably busy with other things. I guess I just wanted to check in. Things are okay here. There was a fight between me and Victoria a couple of weeks ago. I'm okay, just a minor scratch. Things have been… Different lately. I don't know what. Everything just feels weird. Not in a bad way, I think… Just in a way I don't I understand quite yet. I wish you were here. I need someone to talk to.

- B

-TSIPWR-

September 13th
6:30 AM

Sleeping was out of the question.

I had tossed and turned all night never finding a moment where I could just close my eyes and fall to sleep. I made myself a glass of warm milk around midnight, even listened to Clair de Lune on my ipod at around three in the morning, but nothing seemed to work.

I sat on the beach, watching the waves lap in onto the shore. Dolphins played out on the sand bar as the sun rose behind me, the wind shooting my hair in different directions until I was forced to put it up. Today was not just a normal day.

Today was my eighteenth birthday.

I did not say a word about it to anyone, not even Peter. Celebrating my birthday was always enjoyable, but that was when I was in a stable home. It was when I had no idea who I was, or what I was. It was when I was oblivious to the world surrounding me and I had no one but Alec.

Alec.

He always made my birthdays special. He never overplayed it, never made it bigger than it was. If I had school, he'd always let me skip and he would take me out to an art museum or a carnival. It would just be him and I, like always. When we would get home I would open my gift from him and I would eat the cake he home made baked for me. It was always Butter Pecan, straight from scratch.

It was so much easier then. Everything was easier. Everything was better.

And even though I was not treated as a slave here, I was still considered one.

I would be taken from vampire to vampire. No one would settle. I would never see Alec again or even the Cullen's. And when Edward gets tired of me, he will send me off to someone else.

I would be passed down the ladder, until I hit the bottom.

I felt myself tearing up, my lips pursing together as I tried my hardest not to cry.

I hadn't cried in so long. I was not about to start now.

I stood up quickly and ran to the water, trudging past the waves that tried to kick me back. The tears were falling and I was trying to escape. I went farther, farther than I should have and suddenly the water was up to my chin. I looked back, the shore so far away.

No one would notice if I slipped under.

No one would notice if I never came back up.

Suddenly, on my own accord, I fell down into the water until my calves touched the sand.

It was peaceful, tranquil.

I floated, my hands feeling around for nothing as I allowed the waves to take me wherever they pleased.

It was so quiet.

Like I was the only one here.

I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing the sun's rays in the sky moving with each wave. My chest began to hurt, the need for air becoming grave. I ignored the feeling and just listened to nothing, keeping myself floating in the water as I felt my mind going black.

-TSIPWR-

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Peter yelled at me as he sat me down onto the dock. "You could have fucking died, Bella! I've taught you better than to go out in the water at dawn!" He rambled on, though I paid no attention. "The tide is most powerful in the morning! You are lucky you didn't get washed into the middle of the ocean! Were you trying to kill yourself?"

Was I trying to kill myself?

No.

I knew that was for certain. I wasn't trying. Though had it happened, I probably wouldn't have minded. I wasn't exactly sure what I was trying to do out there. Maybe wash the sorrows away or just help me think. Peter yelled at me some more, until his face turned red. I said I was sorry, that I wasn't thinking, that I just wanted to take a swim.

He yelled in my face some more, telling me I should be lucky he saw me in the water through his window. I thanked him, feeling him bring me into a huge hug. He clung on and whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

Everything after that was a blur.

He took me into the shower, getting all of the sand off of me before leaving me to myself to change. After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I felt the heaviness of my emotions wear off. I had figured from the lack of sleep and the meaning of today's date that I had overworked myself emotionally.

The rest of the day, I was normal.

Peter never spoke of the incident and no one wished me a happy birthday.

He took me to town where we just gazed and walked, hitting up a seafood restaurant for lunch. When we returned back to the house I had fallen asleep in his bed next to him, curled under his arm. I woke some time later with a note from him, telling me that he had gone fishing with some of his friends.

I sat up from the bed, my teeth chattering from the chill in the air. I rubbed my arms and walked to Peter's closet, hoping to find a sweatshirt or a sweater to pull on. I slid the door open, grabbing the first sweatshirt I could find. As I put it on, I had noticed something just in the corner of his closet, shining red and gray.

A fishing rod.

His fishing rod, to be exact.

Yet, he had left to gone fishing.

I stared at it for a moment before closing the closet, heading out of his room. Chef Sam made me lasagna for dinner and I poked around at it until I apologized to him for not being hungry.

"That is okay, Miss. Bella." He told me with a sincere smile. I smiled back weakly and headed up the stairs, my eyes still heavy with sleep. I walked down the hallway and towards my door just before I heard something click open behind me.

"Isabella…" A soft voice said in the hallway. I turned around to see Edward leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom. He was dressed in a white button shirt, the first few buttons undone to show his tone chest and to match a pair of black pants, a small smile playing at his lips. "Care to join me for a moment?"

I let out a deep breath and nodded, walking towards him.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable." He told me but I felt chills down my spine. Last time I was here, I was leaving him with a naked Victoria waiting for him in his bed. I cleared my throat, trying to distract myself from the mental images as I sat down on the velvet chair, across from the bed.

I watched as Edward had disappeared for a moment, only to reappearing in front of me on the bed, sitting at the edge of it, his knees just skimming mine.

"I hear that you had a bit of a… Morning today." He said, trailing off as his red eyes bore into me. "What were you trying to accomplish?"

"Accomplish?" I asked, shaking my head. "Nothing… I just… I didn't mean… I…" I trailed off, biting at my lip as I wondered how he had found out.

"It's okay." He whispered, reaching for me as he grabbed my hand in his own. "I am not upset with you." His hand was cold but soft, almost like marble, skimming around my warm hand. He watched as our fingers touched and I felt my breathing hitch. "You are unhappy here." He murmured, still staring down at our hands. I quickly shook my head.

"No." I told him.

"But you wish you were somewhere else?" He asked, looking up to me. I felt my heart accelerating, my breathing shallow as I felt him lean in closer. "Open yourself to me, Isabella. Tell me what I am doing wrong."

"I like it here." I told him with a nod. "I just… I'm still not used to it yet."

"It's been almost two months since you have been here." He told me, his voice hard yet effortlessly clear. "I know my absence may take part in this and why you may not be comfortable here yet, but I want you to know that this is your new home."

"But for how long?" I ask.

"How long?" He chuckled. "Until forever."

"But you switch donors, don't you? Once you get bored?" I asked, feeling his hand bring mine up to kiss my fingers.

"I do not think I could ever get bored of you, Bella." He said with a smirk, reaching forward to skim my cheek with the back of his fingers.

"You're never around me. You're always with…" I trailed off, rolling my eyes as I sat back in my seat.

"Are you jealous?" He laughed and I shook my head quickly.

"Why would I be jealous? I barely know you." I scoffed, my voice feigning the truth that hides deep under me.

"I would like for you to know me." He whispered. I looked back at him, seeing as he was closer than ever. I could feel his cold breath against my chin. "Bella, I want you to be happy here. I want you to be happy when you see me."

"Why?" I asked.

"What do you mean why?" He said.

"I'm a donor. A slave. My feelings towards you should not matter. They matter to know one." I told him, standing up from my chair. He was quickly in front of me, holding me gently at the waist.

"They matter to me." He whispered.

I felt air leave my lungs.

He was so close to me.

And I was so confused.

He was hot and cold, switching every time I saw him that I had no idea what to think anymore. He was giving me whiplash and I did not enjoy it. But every time I saw him, I couldn't deny the feelings deep inside of me. I wasn't quite sure what they were, but it was something strange. Something that sparked every moment he smiled at me.

"I have something for you." He whispered, pulling out a black velvet box. "Happy birthday, Isabella." I stared down at the box, biting at my lip as I reached my fingers forward, skimming against the velvet. I grabbed it from his hands and slowly opened it up to see a necklace with a thin silver chain, and at the very end of it a small silver replica of a pinwheel.

I felt my breathing hitch as I bit down onto my lip, attempting not to cry.

"Is it…" I trailed off, touching the pinwheel.

"He passed this on for me to give to you." Edward whispered, grabbing the necklace from the box as he gently places it on my neck, reaching around to clasp in the lock. The tears stung my eyes, but this time I let them fall. "He misses you as well." He told me, touching the tears the fell down my cheek.

I was breathless, the words not catching up in my mouth. So instead I reached forward and hugged Edward tightly, feeling the small silver pinwheel between his chest and mine.

It was the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

Sorry for my absence this past couple of days. Been pretty busy. This chapter is more lengthier than others, so I hope that makes up for it. Also sorry for the angst. Eh, it had to be done eventually, right? Love to all of you.

ii