Kurt was praying in front of God, eyes on the white ground before him. When he looked up, there was no face on his God. Instead, he was a light, both blindingly bright but comfortingly dim. Speak to me, my child .
Kurt sucked in a breath. It had been a long time since his God had spoken to him. And this was the first time he had been addressed as "my child." He swallowed before speaking.
"Almighty God. I come to you in a great time of need and confusion. I thought you had my path written out for me, but as of late, there has been someone intervening and changing what I thought was destined." The light reached out toward Kurt who remained on his knees, hands pressed together as if his life depended on it. I always know what will happen, my child. This comes as a surprise to you?
"He is not one to claim himself as your child. He is not a follower of any religion. But he speaks to me as if... " Kurt swallowed nervously. "As if what I believed to be your plans for me were… wrong." He whispered the last word. His God grew brighter and Kurt had to force himself to keep his eyes open. Scott Summers , his God said to him, from everywhere and nowhere all at once. He speaks to you differently than most have ever spoken to you, no?
Kurt nodded. "Yes, my Lord. He… tells me I am not a demon, not damned to Hell. He says I have no sins to repent for. But, he is wrong. He doesn't know about what happened with my brother. Almighty God, I do not know what to say to him. I don't know how to tell him that he is wrong. I know all Scott wants to do is help me and show me that there is good in me. I know there is good in me, but there isn't enough to repent."
His God did not respond and he frowned. "Please, Lord, guide me." Still no response. Kurt's tail flicked in agitation. "Why do you not answer me, my Lord?"
Because there is nothing I wish to tell you. This is something you must figure out yourself, my child.
"Can you not even give me a hint? Please, my Lord! I am so lost and I'm scared and I'm hurting."
As I saw from tonight's events. My word of advice to you, my child, is to not worry so much.
"But how can I not worry when I have no idea what to do? Please! Almighty God I am begging you for words of guidance. I don't know what to do ." He stressed the last words so intensely that it came out a plea. "Scott has told me that he holds affection for me and I don't know how to respond!" His God gave no reply. "Please, Lord! I've read your word many times but I do not know what that part of the scripture means! If I give myself to him, will I condemn myself further? Or will it make no difference." Still, his God remained silent. "Lord, please ."
He stood, desperate. "Please, my Lord! Why is that when I need you most, you fail me? Why is when I need answers the most, I receive none? I'm simply asking if I will be condemning myself to Hell if I allow myself to be with Scott! All I ask is what I should do!"
I cannot give you that answer, my child. Now, awaken. For it is time for a great decision to be made.
Kurt opened his eyes to darkness, anger coiling in his gut. He wanted to curse his God for ending the conversation, but he knew that would get him nowhere but further from redemption. Suddenly, the anger in his gut stirred more and because an unbearable pain. He stood and teleported to the nearest bathroom. He had barely made it to his knees when vomit forced its way out of his body. When he finally was able to stop heaving, he laid his cheek on the cool porcelain of the toilet, breathing heavily. He knew that someone would be awake and hear him if he called loud enough, but his throat hurt too badly. He didn't want to wake Jean or the Professor, but he needed someone to help him and he knew Jean would be the quickest to respond.
Suddenly, however, he remembered what he had done earlier in the night. He used his tail to reach for the light switch, grateful that the bathroom he was in was small enough for him to do so. He looked at his arm and frowned. He most certainly could not have someone else come into this bathroom and see the scratches all over him. He'd have to wait until morning to ask someone for help.
His stomach lurched again and he was throwing up once more, the bitterness of the vomit and bile stung his throat and nose, bringing tears to his eyes. His stomach continued to convulse and try to push something up, but after a while, there was absolutely nothing for him to expel. He flushed the toilet and laid down on the cool tile, feeling a little bit better but not enough to dare leave the bathroom. Shortly, he fell asleep, curled up around the toilet and thinking about his conversation with God.