Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their follows/favourites, it means a lot! Here's chapter 2, I hope you enjoy!

I don't own anything, except a really cute cat.

Chapter 2

A lifetime seemed to pass as Clarke waited for her life to end, but in reality, it was only a matter of seconds. Blood roared within her ears as she awaited the sharp sting of the blade to slice through her skin, spilling her treacherous blood and bringing justice to all those who perished at her hands.

This is it, she thought contently. This will make it right.

Except the pain never came, and the blade suddenly disappeared and the grip on her hair was released. Clarke's eyes snapped open just in time to see the dark figure stepping round to stand before her.

"What are you doing?" Clarke screamed at the girl. "Just get it over with!"

I have earned my death, just let me be.

Octavia Blake gaped at Clarke incredulously, stunned by what she was hearing. When she decided to follow the blonde leader after she snuck away from Camp Jaha without so much as a goodbye, she did not know what to expect, but this certainly was not it. She figured that Clarke would eventually realise that she was being followed and confront Octavia, who spent her time imagining exactly what she would do and say when the moment came.

However, that moment never came. Clarke was all too familiar with the dangers of going out alone; she was the one who constantly drilled the remaining members of the hundred about paying attention to their surroundings. Yet, it seemed that the overly careful sky girl was gone, and it concerned Octavia more than she cared to admit. If somebody posed a threat, Clarke would be dead before she even realised she was under attack.

All Octavia wanted to do was teach Clarke a lesson, to make her realise just how foolish she was being, but nothing could have prepared Octavia for this. Clarke was not afraid of dying; in fact, she almost seemed to welcome it.

The revelation shook Octavia to the core and the sword slipped from her fingers, hitting the ground with a soft thud. Clarke's head fell in defeat, but Octavia did not fail to notice how her watery blue eyes darted towards the unhandled blade, so she kicked it away for extra measure.

"Sorry, Clarke, but that's not going to happen," she said quietly, but Clarke shook her head vigorously, refusing to hear those words.

"Why?" She cried, her voice cracked and broken.

Octavia scuffed her feet before crouching in front of the fire. "Despite what you've done, I don't want you to die."

Clarke sobbed in response. "Why do you care?" she asked, sounding sceptical. "I thought you were done with me."

Anxiety twisted in Octavia's gut, this was not like Clarke at all. No matter how bad the situation, Clarke always remained strong. Even when they were running blind into dangerous situations, terrified out of their minds, Clarke was the one to lead them to safety. Many of their people had died since landing on the ground, but it was because of Clarke that so many of them survived.

Octavia glanced at the girl's hunched, quivering form and she did not like what she was seeing. Clarke had never broken down like this, not even when she was forced to kill Finn in order to save him from hours of brutal torture. Sure, she was broken, but the alliance with the Grounders gave her something to focus on which seemed to keep her from completely falling apart. However, now that there was no longer a war to prepare for, or plans to make in order to save the lives of their people, Clarke had nothing to keep her mind from reliving every awful thing that had happened since they landed on the ground.

Clarke had done many things that Octavia could not even begin to understand, let alone forgive, but it was because of those choices that they were all still alive. There were times when Octavia would watch the blonde and wonder how she could remain so calm even in the face of death, even when she had absolutely no clue what she was doing, just improvising to give them all a chance. Nobody asked Clarke to become their leader, but she took the responsibility anyway, and Octavia would never admit it, but she respected Clarke for stepping up to the mark, even if she did not fully approve of the choices that she made.

Except, war had changed them, just as they knew it would. Blood, death, torture, murder, betrayal, it had beaten them all down into the ground, leaving them as nothing more than broken fragments of the people they once were. Survival came at a high price, one that not everyone was willing to pay. Clarke paid the price, and now it was clear to Octavia that she was suffering for it. Yes, she hated Clarke for leaving her and so many others to die at TonDC, and she would not pretend that she was okay with some of the choices that she made, but Clarke's life would not end by her hand.

"I'm not going to kill you, Clarke, so deal with it," Octavia snapped, poking the fire with a stick just so her hands had something to do. "I know you're upset, but I'm not going to let you take the coward's way out."

Clarke forced a breath out of her lungs and stared at the young girl through watery eyes, her body heaving with silent sobs. Upset… was that really all that Octavia believed she was feeling? There was a gaping fucking hole in her chest from where her heart should be, but the war required her to tear it out, piece by piece, until there was nothing left.

No, she was not upset, because that would require being able to feel, but Clarke was hollow inside. She wanted to know what justice felt like, but no wound would ever hurt enough, no cut would ever run deep enough to erase the pain that she felt within her very core. Nothing would ever be enough to release Clarke of her guilt, just as nothing would ever soothe the sting of Lexa's betrayal.

Oh god, Lexa…

Clarke gasped as waves of images flashed through her mind at the thought of the Commander. She clenched her eyes shut, gritting her teeth as she grounded her fists into the dirt beneath her, almost as if she was trying to push all of the hurt and anger out of her bones and into the earth. She pushed until her knuckles screamed in protest, and then she pushed some more.

Clarke never meant to trust Lexa; she was never supposed to be anything more than an ally who gave her the means of saving her people. She did not realise just how much she did trust Lexa until she was forced to watch the Commander turn her back and walk away. She certainly had not meant to care about Lexa, but did not realise just how much she cared until she was left standing outside of Mount Weather with a hollow aching in her heart at the loss of the other woman's presence. Clarke knew she needed Lexa; she needed a strong ally who would protect her and the rest of the Sky People against any who opposed them. It was never supposed to be anything more, except, it became so much more than that, and Clarke did not realise until it was all too late.

Lexa was right all along. Love IS weakness.

Clarke's mind swam with the memory of soft, warm lips pressed against her own. Her stomach fluttered as she remembered the sweet, hot breath that filled her mouth. She remembered the way her heart pounded against her chest as she reached up to grip Lexa's arm because the usually rigid Commander was actually trembling with nerves. She remembered the guilt that twisted in her stomach at the hurt look on Lexa's face when she pulled away, only to be replaced with understanding when she explained that she was not ready, and Lexa's eyes shining with hope when Clarke murmured "Not yet."

Clarke stifled a gasp, pressing a hand to her chest in an attempt to soothe her aching heart. It was all too much. Lexa warned her, but she did not listen. She allowed her heart to rule her head and now she was paying the price for such weakness.

However, Lexa never felt like a weakness to Clarke, which was what made it so much harder. Her feelings for Lexa were the most real thing she had ever felt in her short life. Lexa was the most real person she had ever met, and the most infuriating, but she understood Clarke better than anybody else. She had not realised just how important that was, until she was forced to make impossible decisions for the sake of her people. Nobody understood that hardship better than Lexa.

Lexa would never judge Clarke for her actions at Mount Weather; she would not see her as a monster for killing hundreds of innocent people. No, Lexa would understand that Clarke was simply acting as a leader; the need to protect her people came first. Lexa would understand because she had done the same thing, saving hundreds of her people at the price of the Sky People, and Clarke fucking hated her for it.

She did not care that she understood why Lexa took the deal, nor did she care that as a leader, she would have done the same thing. Clarke had allowed herself to believe that she and the rest of her people meant more to Lexa than just an alliance. She had let her guard down, allowed Lexa to worm her way into her heart just to be left to die once she was no longer useful. She was nothing more than a means to an end.

Never again would she be a pawn in someone else's game.

Clarke's heart ached profusely, she wanted nothing more than to curl up and forget the world, but every time she closed her eyes, the screams of the dead forced her to rip them back open. In the end, Clarke rested her chin upon her arms and stared blankly into the fire.

Time passed in a blur of silence, and for a moment Clarke was able to forget about her unexpected companion who was sitting on the other side of the campfire, until Octavia suddenly stood up. Clarke continued to stare into the flames even as Octavia picked up her sword and announced that she was going to take watch. For a split second, Clarke contemplated running as soon as the young girl ventured into the woods, but even if she could muster the strength to move, Octavia would only track her down again.

However, as soon as Octavia disappeared within the trees, keeping her eyes open and fixed upon the warm glow of the fire was not enough to keep the darkness at bay. Clarke swallowed harshly, heart pounding in her chest as the sense of dread settled into the pit of her stomach. Sweat trickled down her spine as the shadows seemed to close in, and even as she buried her face into her arms to avoid looking at them, Clarke could still feel the darkness clawing at her skin. Her head snapped up and before she knew what she was doing, she was on her feet and scrambling after Octavia.

The sound of Clarke crashing clumsily through the trees must have alerted Octavia to her presence, because the brunette girl suddenly came rushing back, sword held high and eyes wide. She breathed out a sigh and relaxed upon seeing Clarke, but she did not lower her sword just in case there was something out there.

"Clarke, what's wrong?" she asked, eyes darting around as they scanned the woods for signs of danger.

Suddenly, Clarke had no idea what to say, explaining that she was too afraid to be alone seemed stupid, so she lamely scuffed her foot across the ground and rubbed a hand across the back of her neck as her mind raced to come up with a plausible explanation.

"I… I don't…"

However, Octavia did not need an explanation. The fear shone clearly in Clarke's wide eyes and Octavia could see her trembling even in the darkness. If she had not just witnessed Clarke's eagerness to have a blade drawn across her throat, Octavia might have believed that she was under attack, but the haunted look on Clarke's face suggested that it was not an attack that she feared.

Octavia blew out a sigh. "Come on, we can take watch together."

Clarke slowly nodded and followed the younger girl. After a few minutes of walking through the woods in silence and eventually finding a suitable tree to climb, the two of them were soon sat across from each other on separate branches that were large enough to take their weight.

There was no other way to describe their situation as anything other than awkward, but Clarke was content to put up with the tension just for the sake of not being alone. She held on tightly to her handgun almost as if she was trying the draw strength from the weapon whilst Octavia twirled her sword, keeping her eyes fixed on the ground in search of movement.

"Why are you here?" Clarke asked after becoming too uncomfortable with the silence, and she had not realised how much the question was bothering her until she finally asked it.

The sword stilled, but Octavia did not reply immediately and as the minutes stretched on in silence, Clarke began to wonder if Octavia was simply going to ignore her from now on.

"I don't belong there," she muttered eventually and returned to twirling her sword.

"What about Bellamy?" Clarke could not even imagine how much the older Blake sibling would be freaking out with the disappearance of his little sister. She hoped that Octavia at least said goodbye, because otherwise it would not be long until they had an angry, desperate Bellamy on their trail.

Octavia shrugged. "He doesn't understand, and he hates the Grounders even more now."

Clarke's gut twisted with guilt. Despite everything that had happened, she understood how Octavia felt. Spending time with the Grounders made her realise that they were not so different, but Bellamy and so many others could not move past their narrow-minded views on how they believed the world should be. The Grounders found a way to survive in this harsh world, but the Sky People saw them as nothing more other than savages, and Lexa's betrayal would only heighten those beliefs.

"Octavia..." she began, wanting to apologize for everything that she had put the younger girl through recently.

"Save it, Clarke," Octavia interrupted, knowing exactly what Clarke was about to say. "Just because I wouldn't kill you, doesn't mean that I forgive you."

Tears welled up in Clarke's eyes and she bowed her head in shame. "I don't expect your forgiveness," she murmured. "I was trying to do the right thing and I failed."

Octavia could hear the emotion in Clarke's voice and she shifted uncomfortably. Perhaps it was due to growing up hidden beneath the floor and being kept away from all human contact, but comforting emotional people was not Octavia's forte, especially when the person was somebody who had let her down in such a big way.

"You didn't fail; Clarke," Octavia sighed, "but I don't understand how you could let that missile hit TonDC without warning any of us about it."

Clarke shifted, a wave of nausea hitting her as she unwillingly remembered that awful day. "Lexa..." she began, but her voice cracked and she could not continue. Lexa made me believe that it was the right thing to do. I was trying to protect Bellamy…

Octavia scoffed at the sound of the Commander's name, her blood boiling with rage. "How could you trust her after everything she did?" she snapped, her voice laced with venom. "She left her own people to die, what the hell made you believe that she wouldn't do the same to us?"

"I thought she was different!" Clarke cried, not realising how true those words were until they left her mouth. "She helped me when I had no idea what I was doing."

"That's not good enough!" Octavia snarled and Clarke flinched, her heart sinking the same way it had when Octavia fired those words at her when they were standing outside of Mount Weather.

"You trusted Indra," Clarke fired back.

"That's different!"

"No, it's not. Indra would have slaughtered us all if it wasn't for the alliance. She's no better than Lexa."

Octavia scowled, fury radiating through her body. She wanted to prove to Clarke that she was wrong, but deep down she knew it was true. Indra wanted to turn her into a mindless warrior who followed and worshipped the Commander's every word, and cut her down when she refused to place her loyalty in someone she did not trust.

Octavia gritted her teeth. No, this was all Lexa's fault, Indra and the others had no choice but to follow her orders or they would suffer the same fate as Gustus, as Lincoln...

"She took everything from me," she seethed quietly, "the Trikru, Lincoln..."

Octavia's throat constricted at the thought of her gentle lover, the one person who actually made her feel like she belonged, and her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. She had half the mind to invade the camp where he was being held and tear down anyone who tried to stop her from saving him, even the Commander herself.

However, even if it were remotely possible to approach the camp without having her throat slit, doing so would only cause another war. Lincoln gave up everything for what he believed in, to live in a world without bloodshed, so Octavia refused to do anything that would disrespect her lover's memory. She would not let his death be in vain, even if it was killing her to sit back and do nothing.

"You don't have to stay with me, O," Clarke whispered. She so badly wanted to apologize, but knew doing so would only infuriate the younger girl further.

When she left Camp Jaha, she was desperate to be alone, but Octavia's company somehow made it easier to cope with the dark thoughts that were floating around her mind, and she suddenly could not bear the idea of being alone again. Despite that, Clarke knew that she could not be selfish, Octavia had already been through a lot, and she refused to make it any harder for her.

"Where else would I go?" Octavia asked solemnly, creating a spark of hope within Clarke. "I may as well make sure that you don't do anything stupid, and I'm not going to let you forget about what you've done."

Octavia's words stung, but Clarke knew that she deserved nothing less, so she held back the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks and settled against the tree. They did not speak for the rest of the night, and Clarke was almost positive that Octavia had fallen asleep. Her own eyes were heavy and scratchy, but she refused to let them close, knowing what she would see if she did and she was not yet ready to face her fears.

Clarke forced herself to stay awake, finding comfort in the light sounds of Octavia's breathing even as her body ached with fatigue. It even hurt to breathe, every breath like a knife slicing into her lungs, but the pain was a reminder of all of the awful crimes she had committed and that was enough to keep her awake. Octavia did not have to follow her around to stop her from forgetting, the memories were burned into Clarke's mind like a heated blade against her flesh, leaving a nasty, ugly scar that would haunt her for the rest of her days.

I know most of you were probably expecting this to be Lexa, but I wanted to do something different. In this story, Lincoln doesn't make it back to Camp Jaha, so Octavia has no reason to stick around. Is Lincoln alive? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out! I intend on updating once a week, so the updates should come every Monday hopefully!

I hope you all enjoyed this story. I would love to know what you think of it so far, whether it's good or bad. Constructive criticism always helps!