Scott was beginning to think that, if God was truly real, he was trying very hard to test Scott. He opened the bathroom door- after knocking- only find Kurt curled up around the toilet, his face troubled. He couldn't just leave him there, so he bent down, gently shaking Kurt awake.
The elf blinked slowly, eyes hazed with fever. "Scott Wo bin ich ?" He lifted his head a little bit before groaning and letting it lay back down on the tile.
Scott sighed and lifted Kurt up. "Let's get you back to your room, alright?" Kurt just nodded his head, curling up more and nuzzling into Scott's chest. The older teen turned red as he walked. He knew that if Kurt wasn't sick, he wouldn't be behaving in this way and it almost hurt to think that… Okay, it did hurt to think that. He sighed as he struggled to open Kurt's door, finally getting it and stepping into the room. It was horribly stuffy, but opening the window was not an option. "Hey, Kurt, did you throw up at all? I'm gonna go tell the Professor you're sick."
Kurt nodded his head. " Viel . I threw up a lot. I thought I was going to die, Scott. I was so sick." His eyes were only half open and his words were only half coherent. "I spoke to God," he breathed, words stringing together and eyes falling back shut. Scott put a hand to his forehead and frowned at how warm he was. "He wouldn't help me and I got frustrated but then he made me wake up and I was sick. He told me a big decision would be made today. How I can I make one when I'm so sick?"
Scott hummed thoughtfully, trying to understand what Kurt was saying. "What wouldn't he help you with?"
Kurt shook his head. "I can't tell you," he whispered, bringing his hand to his face and placing a finger over his mouth, shushing Scott. "It's a secret and Scott can't know."
Scott smiled some, finding Kurt's sick behaviour endearing. "I promise I won't tell Scott." That wasn't a lie. He wasn't going to tell himself anything. Kurt was.
Kurt shook his head. "I don't know. I shouldn't talk about it."
"Maybe I can help."
There was a long pause and Scott thought that maybe Kurt had fallen asleep and was about to get up when the German spoke. "Scott kissed me." His heart began to hammer and he turned back to Kurt. "And I kissed him back but I didn't understand what was happening. I liked the kiss, a lot. But I don't know how to tell Scott that I liked it. Everytime we talk, something goes wrong and one of us storms away…" Tears fell out from under his eyelids and he curled up. "I've grown up being told I was a monster and a demon and that I was going to Hell. I've tried and I've tried to repent but there are still so many people that say it or think it. No matter how hard I try, I know I can never repent."
Scott wanted to interject, but he feared it would alert Kurt to Scott's presence. He just let out a breath. "And then there's Scott. He keeps telling me that I'm not damned and that I'm not a monster. And I want to believe him and there are things I want to tell him and…" He fell silent, eyes half open but unseeing and his words had slurred so badly that Scott felt like he was talking to a toddler.
"And I think I love him, but I've hurt him so many times and rejected him and I don't know what to do. And God won't help me and I don't want to go to hell because of this but I just… Scott makes me feel human and I think I'm in love with him."
Scott swallowed hard, heart hammering and making its way up his chest and into his throat. "I won't tell him," he said, voice hoarse and thick and he wanted to hold Kurt's hand but he couldn't move. Kurt made an odd sound, his body twitching. Before Scott could move, the younger of the two was throwing up on the floor, his body heaving. The smell permeated the air and made Scott nauseous. He stood slowly, holding his hand over his nose and mouth.
"I'm going to go find the Professor, alright? And get someone to bring you water and a bucket. You'll be okay, Kurt. You'll be okay."