2. SUSPICIONS
After her unsuccessful morning at work and after her unwanted confirmation from her doctor, Phoebe is determined to spend the rest of her day 'accidentally' ignoring anyone she sees on her path from Angelo's, back to the caravan park. Let's face it; Summer Bay is a minefield of deep-and-meaningful conversations and friendly residents that are just ready and waiting for a chat.
However, on her way back to the caravan park, she spies a very recognisable blonde pushing a pram along the footpath. At this sight, Phoebe makes an extra effort to go unnoticed by pulling her phone out to appear busy.
When she hears the "Hey Phoebs" from a very familiar voice, she knows she has failed and she knows she has no choice but to acknowledge her close friend and almost, sort of, sister-in-law.
"Hey Rick. Sorry I can't chat for too long, I'm just on my way back to the van."
"No worries. Feels like I haven't seen you in ages since you've been there. How have you been anyway?"
Phoebe just shrugs, thinking about how best she can short-cut the conversation to be on her way.
"Eh, I'm alright. Been a bit under the weather with the flu, but I'll live. What about you and the little guy?" Phoebe replies as she gestures to the pram that Ricky is pushing rhythmically, and in particular, to the baby within it.
"Yeah we've been fine. I've just been trying to get Case into a bit of a routine so I can at least be a half-normal human!"
Phoebe nods with a small smile. Babies... Routine... Half-normal human... All of the oh-so tempting prospects that come along with motherhood. She just shudders at the thought knowingly, feeling a little sicker than she already had been.
"Well that sounds like a blast. Anyway, I'm sorry but my bed is really calling me right now... Just when I thought I was over the worst of the flu" Phoebe responds, resuming her attempts to get away from people and just get back home.
Ricky nods understandingly, giving her friend a hug goodbye while her mind is ticking away.
What Ricky also knows is how great that 'the flu' is to cover up a particular excuse. Ricky knows the look of feeling sick and seedy from a certain form of morning nausea. Ricky also knows that Phoebe used the excuse of having gastro last week, too...
Perhaps it is her mind just creating a bit of drama because she is going stir-crazy from staying inside the house with a newborn for so long. Perhaps, Phoebe really is cursed enough to have the flu and gastro in a matter of day. Or, perhaps Ricky really is onto something with her little theory that her friend is covering up more than a cold.
But surely, if Ricky really is onto something, wouldn't she know about it, not having to speculate since the potential father lives just metres from her?
#
When she finally reaches her van, successful in avoiding everyone else in the Bay, Phoebe is quick to get into comfort clothes. Her longer, older and less provocative outfit is just the security blanket that she needs with the predicament and lofty decision that is resting on her shoulders.
Despite having spent an entire day in the silent caravan, sitting there and thinking seriously, Phoebe feels no closer to a decision in her head, nor in her heart.
Ultimately, Phoebe has never really had the cluckiness of Ricky or Kyle. She's never dreamt of kids names or fantasized about a white-picket fence life and family. Not only has that never hugely appealed to her overall, it certainly hasn't been a consideration for any time earlier than the next ten years.
Surely this would make the decision, leaving a simple option. But of course, just to complicate matters, the idea of ending the pregnancy didn't feel right in her heart either.
That simply leaves the more complicated choices of adoption or offering Kyle the chance to raise the child, but again, neither sat right within Phoebe.
No matter how hard she thought and no matter how hard she tried to reason with herself logically or otherwise, there is not one option that stands out as right.
Phoebe is interrupted from her thoughts and her solitude by a familiar and distinct knock on the vans metal door.
While ignorance is the easy option, Phoebe knows that the blinds are wide open. She wouldn't even be able to try and successfully pull the wool over Kyle's eyes. He'd keep knocking until she let him in.
"Come in" Phoebe sighs, not moving a muscle from her legs-crossed position on the bed in the small caravan.
"Hi... I just thought I'd check in on you" Kyle explains, before holding up the pizza box in his hand. "And I thought I'd bring you some leftovers. You're probably not in the mood for cooking. How are you feeling now?"
Taking the pizza box from Kyle, Phoebe tries to act as normal as she possibly can, despite the fact that she has spent the entire afternoon both feeling sick from and thinking about their child.
"I'm all good. I really should have just kept working... I would have been fine" Phoebe replies, trying to downplay her sickness as much as possible, before changing the subject to avoid talking about it any longer.
"So I saw Ricky and Casey on the way home. The poor thing said she feels like a bit of a hermit."
Kyle just nods with a smile, while briefly glancing at the watch on his left arm.
"She's doing well on her own. I actually can't stay long. I said I'd be back to watch Case so that she can catch up with a friend for a little without a baby... Is it pathetic that looking after my nephew is the highlight of my day?"
Phoebe just laughs as she watches the smile that permeates from Kyle's mouth and spreads to his eyes. His total and genuine joy from family is completely visible.
... Kyle would be a great father.
This is the thought that catches Phoebe off guard when she finds herself almost confiding her predicament in him.
"Kyle? There's something you need to know."
Kyle looks to Phoebe expectantly, giving her his full attention and expecting her to continue speaking after delivering the cryptic statement to him.
Initially, she expects herself to tell him about the baby. However, somewhere in between lusting over father-Kyle and her fears kicking in, Phoebe realises that if Kyle knows and as soon as he knows, Phoebe would have no choice. He wouldn't give up and he wouldn't give in if it meant saving his child and becoming a father.
"Yeah..." Kyle asks, trying to prompt Phoebe to speak after she gets spooked from what her statement was initially setting up to tell him.
"Oh, you just need to know that while I'm pretty much on the mend, there's still the off chance I might not be up to working tomorrow."
Kyle just nods with a small smile. "Yeah of course, that's fine. Just give me a buzz if you're still unwell in the morning. I better get going now. I told Ricky that I'd be back by now.
"See you tomorrow Kyle. Thanks for the pizza."
As Kyle gives her a small wave, Phoebe just sits there reeling over how close she got to telling Kyle everything and confiding in him about her pregnancy; their baby. But, she couldn't.
She couldn't even mention it until she knows what she wants otherwise she would have no choice. Or, it would mean planting the idea in Kyle's head and heart before potentially snatching it away from him.
At the time and in the moment, that feels like the harsher option on him that him not knowing at all.
... Is that in itself a big clue about what she wants?
#
The following day, the morning sickness is not as bad as the day earlier which makes it easier for Phoebe to try and get to work, rather than trying to take the day off.
The new day is a new start for the positive and bubbly young adult, despite the deeper things that she knows that she has on her plate.
As she walks past the Surf Club en-route to Angelo's, Phoebe passes Nate and Matt –former housemates- with juices in hand.
"Hey Phoebe. Are you off to work?" Nate greets, clutching his gym bag, before gesturing to the Angelo's all-black uniform. "Are you sure you're feeling up to it?"
Even though Nate is technically off-duty and in his free time at the Surf Club, he is still in doctor-mode as he alludes to her condition that is only known by him and by Phoebe.
"Going soft in your old age?" Matt teases cheekily, despite the fact that he is quite oblivious to the meaning behind Nate checking that she is okay to work.
Phoebe just nods with a small and slightly nervous laugh as she grabs Matt's shirt to pull him to a standing position.
"Yes, that's it... I'm getting old, going soft, call me a cripple. But come on Matthew, you can't be late for the seventieth day in a row."
Matt just groans with resistance, knowing that Phoebe is right. He needs to be on time at least a couple of days a month in order to keep the thin ice that he skates on from cracking beneath him completely, leaving him unemployed.
"I'll catch ya Nate-o" Matt says to the doctor he had been drinking with, simply raising a hand as a half-hearted wave.
As Phoebe and Matt walk into Angelo's together, Kyle's attention is raised by the noise which causes him to put down the glass that he is drying and polishing.
"Oh good you're both here. I've just got to go and drop some money off at the bank. I should only be an hour at the most."
Phoebe and Matt nod, putting their stuff away before carrying on with opening up the restaurant and the other odd little things that need to be done.
"Dude, are you leaving me alone with Phoebe? I trusted you, man..." Matt whinges jokingly, with a big grin in Phoebe's direction to clarify that he's messing with her.
"You'll live" Kyle replies simply before walking out the door with one of the restaurants money bags. "I'll see you both later on."
After a few minutes of unusual silence for the outgoing duo, Matt finally speaks up after he has finished placing the table settings down at the tables.
"Seriously though, are you feeling better than yesterday? Let me know if you want me to cover for you again."
That's the thing about Matt Page. He can go from an insensitive clown to a serious and caring softie in roughly 0.2 of a second.
"Thank you, but I'm fine."
Phoebe nods with a small, but appreciative smile at the kinder side of Matt. However, his concern does get her thinking. It gets her thinking about what she nearly blurted out to Kyle last night. It gets her thinking that she needs to tell someone, or at least vent to someone who is separate from the situation... Just someone that she can talk to, to get it off her chest.
Then, much like many other times in Phoebe's life, the words are out before she has a chance to stop them or think about whether she should be saying them or not.
"So, hypothetically speaking, if Sasha got pregnant when you two were together, would you want to know about it regardless of what she did about it, or would you only prefer to know if it concerned you and she decided to have it."
The look on Matt's face is priceless. It starts with utter confusion, changing to a look of horror, before reverting back to even more confusion.
"What are you saying? Do you know something? Is Sash pregnant?!"
Matt's mind runs into overdrive after Phoebe's cryptic question as he tries to think how long it's been since he's seen his ex, not to mention wondering why she hasn't contacted him since.
"Oh, no, chill. Remember I said hypothetically, remember? I'm the one who's pregnant."
Again, the words are out before Phoebe has a chance to consider whether she wants them to be.
The thing is the more people that are told, the more people that know and the more people that have to keep a secret, a secret... Especially when Phoebe doesn't realise that she and Matt are not-so alone when she utters the words, that go overheard when a familiar man with a familiar voice in the doorway repeats them.
"You're pregnant, Phoebe?!"
Oooh. So who is the man that has heard that?! Is it Kyle? Or is it another bloke from the Bay? Place your bets.
THANK YOU so much to the lovely souls who reviewed my first chapter! I can't believe that people actually read my story!
Next chapter: The aftermath from the male who heard Phoebe's news. Also, Ricky keeps pursuing her suspicions.