I slammed my door. Hard.

I was afraid for a moment that any lingering venom had fueled my actions, but the door was still intact. I locked it quickly, turning to cover my arms as goosebumps rose across my skin as a cold front brushed across me. I noticed my window was open, the soft sprinkle of rain floating in and covering my bed.

I jumped over, the sheets slightly damp as I closed the window, locking the top of it. I grabbed an oversized sweater from my dresser, shoving it on as I began to warm.

It did not take me long, my blood already running hot from anger.

I fell down onto the floor, sitting against the post of my bed as I covered my arms over my chest, watching as a shadow moved from side to side on the other side of my door. He knew I saw him. He was waiting for me to say something, but I had noting to say. I looked away from the door and stood up from my spot, grabbing a towel I had used earlier to try and soak up the small droplets of mist on my bed.

When I was able to do as much as I could, I set the towel on the bed post to dry, looking back over to see that the shadow was still there, still waiting.

Wait all you want…

I grabbed my book, setting onto the bed as I pretended to read, my eyes casually looking to the crack under the door.

I thought I was more to him. I thought I was more than just something he could toy with. And it made me wonder… How long has he been playing this game? Was there really an Us? Why did he act like he wanted me, but still goes out with Irina while she rubs it in my face? What good could come of that?

But most importantly, why did I care?

I grew up around vampires. And even though Alec kept his guests to a minimum, I knew he had women over. They weren't hard to miss with their red eyes and glossy hair. Vampires are not only after just one thing. Yes, they crave for blood… But they are sex addicts. All of them. And I guess, that came with the territory. If they were damned, then no harm no foul. Nothing to worry about.

Yet, to play with me like that?

He didn't have to string me along like a puppet.

I looked up, noticing the shadow was gone and for a moment I felt my heart drop. I set my book down, halfway off the bed as I heard the front door open and close. I walked to my door, opening up to peak out into the empty hall. I walked down it quickly and into the living room, bringing the curtains back to see Edward's black car taillights, going farther down the driveway.

I made a little noise of disappointment, feeling my heart ache just slightly. I stepped away from the window and did not shed one tear, but felt like I could cry millions of them.

I didn't know why I cared.

I didn't know why he was so important.

He would always be this way.

And I have to learn not to fall into him again.

I had to detach myself from Edward Masen.

I walked around the corner, Chef Sam and Maggie putting away the leftovers as the shamelessly flirted with each other. I smiled with them, moving back away from the corner and heading down the hall.

"Bella?" Paul asked, coming out of his room as I stepped into mine. "You okay?"

I turned to him with a smile and nodded my head.

"Yes, I am. Why?" I asked curiously, lying through my teeth and wondering if he could tell.

"You look a little bit flushed." He pointed out with a shrug. "You're probably just overly tired." He told me and I nodded. "Well, I'm going down to the store to stock up. You want to join me?" He asked and I shook my head, stepping further into my bedroom.

"I'm a little bit worn out. I'm just going to relax for the rest of the night, thank you though." I said and he smiled, waving me off as he walked away. I closed my bedroom door shut, locking it before grabbing a new pair of jeans to put on, keeping the hoodie on me as I slid on my converses.

I was suffocating in here. I needed out.

I jumped onto my bed, unlocking and opening my window just before jumping down, hitting the sand. I closed my window and avoided Paul in the front and ran down the slope to the beach, walking my way down and down.

-TSIPWR-

I was miles down from the house, entering into territory that wasn't fuzzy to me anymore. The rain had stopped and just ahead was a dock, the very same one that I had fallen asleep under just a few weeks ago. Just behind it was a harbor, a boat in particular lighten up with different assortments of lights, people on the docks and on the boat as they laughed and drank, a familiar dark face wrapping his arm around a girls shoulders, whispering into her ear.

Jacob.

I trekked through the sand, jogging up to the dock just before slowly heading down the harbor, people scattered about, some lying on the woodened dock, drinking their beers as they laughed at nonsense. Jacob had disappeared and no one had noticed me, too busy in their alcohol infused world to care. I stepped over a girl who laid on her tummy, moaning as a guy next to her touched her.

I stepped down onto the boat, being noticed by a group of boys who sat on lawn chairs, drinking their cans of beer as they whistled at me. I rolled my eyes and walked around the front of the boat, seeing Jake leaning down and in one of the coolers, grabbing a couple of beers. He stood up, turning around and hissing once he saw me, stepping back and dropping the cans. They busted on the floor, beer spraying out of the cracks and hitting both of us as we screamed.

My hoodie was soaked, the ends of my hair drenched in beer as we both looked at each other in complete shock just before busting out laughing. Jake's spiky black hair was glazed with beer, his grey shirt stains as we continued to cackle at each other, nearly doubling over from laughter.

"Are you okay?" He asked me with the brightest smile, walking over to help me wipe down my hoodie.

"Yeah, I am. Sorry…" I stopped to laugh. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you."

"No… It's fine." He laughed, shaking his head as he grabbed a hold of my hand. "Let me take you down to my room, I'll get you an extra shirt." He told me, leading me inside and down a set of stairs. Plain white lights decorated the walls, pictures Slipknot and Linkin Park covering the door as his bed was unkempt as the bass of the music shook the walls.

"Sorry for the mess." He told me, walking to his closet as he pulled off his shirt. I felt my cheeks blush and I quickly turned, looking the other direction.

"It's uh…. It's fine…" I said awkwardly, smiling back over to him as he was looking me, pulling on a black v-neck.

"Here you go…" He threw me a gray Ed-Hardy t-shirt and I gave him a dubious look. He shrugged with a sly smile. "My parents spoiled me."

"I can tell." I laughed, glancing around his fairly large boat home.

"Yeah. I… Oh… Sorry…" He said, turning around allowing me my privacy as I change. I pulled my sweater off, along with my tank top underneath. I pulled the shirt on, it coming down to my mid-thighs and hanging on me like an extra large blanket. "Can I turn around?" He asked and I hummed my approval, watching as he turned and laugh.

"You're the one who picked it out!" I laughed, bringing my wet hair back into a messy bun.

"Nah, you look cute in my shirt no matter how ridiculously large it is." He chuckled, a sincere smile on his lips. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"I was out for a walk…" I told him honestly.

"At ten at night?" He asked dubiously with an impish smirk.

"Seriously!" I laughed. "I just happened to cross by and I saw you. Thought I'd come crash your party." I smiled.

"Well thank god." He laughed, leaning down and into his fridge as he grabbed two beers, handing one to me. "I've been having a shit time."

I stared down at the beer, looking at it awkwardly just before opening it, smelling it briefly and wincing at the stench. Jacob hadn't seen me, too busy drinking his own. I had never drank beer before in my life, and I had a feeling I wasn't about to start now, but I didn't want to seem rude. So against my better judgment I drank some, bitterly swallowing it down.

"Were you not…" I stopped, coughing my disgust as Jacob laughed at me. "…Were you not having fun?"

"Eh. People come here to get drunk. Mainly. Which isn't a problem unless they can't hold their beer down. I've already had to clean up after three people. Four including us!" He laughed, shaking his head.

Something above us crashed, both of us looking up to hear people shouting. Jacob rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together as he took me up the stairs. Two boys happened to be gunning for the same girl, resulting in a fist fight and a broken glass table now shattered across the boat. Jacob started yelling, kicking both of them up as the drunkenly walked away, one falling onto the dock as the other actually made it to the beach.

I help Jake clean up the mess just before he brought out a woodened table, both of us sitting at it as other people joined. Everyone was pretty drunk, and I was still working on my first beer, sipping at it occasionally and spilling some onto the floor when Jake wasn't looking.

We ended up playing poker, which turned into strip poker (which I had then dropped out), then into plain stripping. Two of Jake's friends got a lap dance and I was now on my second beer, instead of dumping it, now chugging it. Jake and I laughed as his friend, Embry slid across the boat, falling straight onto his bottom followed by his girlfriend, Makenna. We all started laughing, more beer passing around as my brain became fuzzy.

Next thing I knew, I was shirtless in Jake's bed.

I knew what I was doing.

I felt his hands hot against my stomach.

I wanted this.

I wanted this so badly.

The alcohol infused my passion, our lips colliding as I pulled off his jeans. He touched my breasts, rubbing my nipples as I felt them harden, his center running into my core as I moaned loudly.

He was so warm.

He was opposite of what I wanted.

He was what I needed.

"Make me forget…" I slurred in his ear, now directly underneath him, naked and bare.

The first thrust was hard, my body shaking as it felt violated. But he eased at my tension, the blurry face of a red eyed monster slowly slipped away as the pleasure built up into my core. He pushed me, over and over again.

I wanted to forget.

I wanted him gone from my memory.

I wanted… Edward…

I opened my eyes, seeing Jacob as I hissed at his warm touch.

It felt so good… But it wasn't right.

He wasn't right…

I moaned and played along, but suddenly I felt nothing except my stomach twisting in sickness.

I wanted cold fingers.

I wanted kisses against my jaw.

I wanted to feel his weight against me.

I wanted his teeth in my skin.

My bite mark was burning and I was on edge, touching it to feel the warmth of it.

It was calling for him.

He was calling for me.

"Isabella…"

His voice was smooth like velvet, but he was nowhere to be found.

Jacob thrusts became harder and I imagined nothing but Edward, letting it slip me off into the edge of darkness.

I know you guys are frustrated with certain people *glares over at Vampward* but I promise, good things come to those who wait. You will be pleased soon, little does.

ii