The blood red satin sheets slipped through my fingers easily as the tips of them circled around the fabric, drawing invisible pictures on them. My hair was a tangled mess on the matching pillows, my cheek rubbing into the softness of them. The room was dark, but it was well over noon. Edward liked it most when his room was dark.
I laid in the bed a little while longer, lingering in his scent and wishing he were here next to me. I touched his side of the bed, running my fingers along the crease of where is body laid, it still fresh with indentations. He had only left moments ago, with a kiss on my forehead and a whispering promise that he will be back.
My body still tingled from his presence and I closed my eyes, remembering his touch. His fingers are cool against my warm skin, pale compared to the rosy color of my blush. He smiled impishly, kissing my neck just over his mark as he whispered something sweet in my ear.
I slid myself from the bed, biting my lip and bringing my fingers to my mouth, trying to contain my smile. It had been days since Edward laid me on my bed and kissed me on my lips for the very first time. No matter what I did, no matter how much time ticked away, my mind would always retract back to it. Even if he were kissing me again, I would think of the very first time.
It lit me up.
My body felt like a firework on the fourth of July.
I was dazzling and crackling.
He made me feel lifted, as if I were soaring. No one has ever done that. Not Peter, not Jacob. It was something inside of me that stirred when Edward was around. I didn't know how to describe it. These emotions were foreign and intense leaving me breathless at times. He treated me so well. He treated me like I was the only woman on this planet which was a far cry from how he was weeks ago.
Though, he would kiss me only every so often, living them chaste. He was still very gentle, as if I were a glass vase. One small touch, I could crash. It was odd, to see the difference in him. When Victoria had been around he was rougher. He held her tighter and kissed her harder. He fucked her.
I have had nothing but forehead kisses and light pecks on the lips.
He was very careful.
And I was very annoyed.
But I did not say a word. I bit my tongue and took would I could get because I was thankful for at least that.
But he did other things. Things I assumed he did not let Victoria do. He always wanted me in his room. If I wasn't busy with other things, I was to be in his bedroom either with him or without him. He has said he enjoys me sleeping there. He would speak to me for hours, asking me about my life, telling me about his. He had mentioned a few things that he said he hadn't even told Paul about.
So even if he was too gentle, or even if I felt like Victoria had more than I did, she did not have this. She did not get to see this side of him. And that means something more.
I walked out of the room, rubbing my eyes as I made my way downstairs. Chef Sam was in the kitchen, cooking up some lunch for Paul and Peter who sat at the table, Paul reading the newspaper and Peter on his cell phone, Maggie behind them sweeping the floor.
"Good morning, Miss. Bella. Would you like a Chicken salad for lunch today?" Chef Sam had asked.
"Yes, please." I smiled sweetly, grabbing the chair of the table and sitting across from Peter who watched me intensely, his eyebrows raised. "What?" I laughed, lifting my shoulders.
"You're being weird." Peter says just as Sam sets down a cold glass of sweet tea for me.
"How?" I asked.
"You're usually not this…" He waved his hands around. "This… Smiley."
"So what?" I shrugged.
"It's weird." Peter says.
"Leave her alone, boy. This is the happiest I've seen her since she's been here." Paul shrugs from behind his newspaper, turning the page.
"She was bitten." Maggie says from the side, my body freezing instantly as I brought my hand up to my neck, slyly covering the mark. "By the love bug!" She laughs, reaching over at me and grabbing my shoulders. Peter rolls his eyes and I laugh weakly, bringing my hand down as my face covered in a red blush. "No woman smiles like that unless she's in love."
"Is it that Jacob guy?" Peter asks, tilting his chin up.
"How do you know about him?" I ask, my eyebrows rising at him.
"Hilo is big, but it's not that big. Things get around." Peter said. "And I'm friends with his friends. So I heard. You better be careful. That kid is a major playboy."
"Sound familiar?" I asked, smirking.
"I'm just warning you." He raised his hands in defense, going back to his cell phone.
"Well I think it's wonderful." Maggie says, kissing the side of my head before going back to clean. Nothing else was said of the topic and we all ate talking of about upcoming plans for Thanksgiving. Everyone wanted to leave, travel back home to their families and celebrate. Paul and Peter would go back to New York, Sam back to Maine and Maggie to Colorado.
I sat silently, picking at my food. The conversation hitting me sourly but I smiled to keep the emotions at bay. I had no family to go home to. No one to celebrate with. The only person I could think of was the one I was not allowed to see. I touched the pinwheel necklace on my neck, rubbing it softly as I let out a deep breath.
After everyone was finished they all went about their business and I made my way outside, sitting on the beach as I tried to collect myself. I thought of Alec, wondered what he was doing – if he was thinking of me. I hoped he was alright and happy and when I closed my eyes, a gust of wind blew pass me.
-TSIPWR-
"Tell me why you are sad." Edward whispered as his fingers ran down my arm. My back was to him, my eyes staring at the wall as I gripped the pinwheel on my neck. He kissed my neck up to my ear, rubbing my sides gently.
"I'm okay." I told him.
"You're not a very good liar." He said as I turned onto my back, watching as he hovered above me. "What is on your mind?" He asked, rubbing his thumb underneath my eye.
"Will I ever be able to see Alec again?" I asked suddenly, Edward raising a brow as if he were surprised. He moved away, sliding off the bed effortlessly.
"Are you unhappy here, Bella?" He asked and I sat up on my knees quickly, shaking my head.
"No! Of course not!" I told him. "I just… Everyone is talking about their Thanksgiving plans and going home to their family and I…" I trailed off, shrugging my shoulders as my voice weakened. "I just… I just miss him."
Edward moved back towards me, grabbing my hands and lacing our fingers together. He was cold and it felt great against my warmth, my eyes traveling up to see him staring down at me with such an intensity that it stole my breath away.
"Allowing you to see him… It would be dangerous." He told me.
"Dangerous?" I asked.
"It's suspicious. For all Aro knows, Alec gave you up. What message would that be sending if you two were to see each other again?" He asked me and I shrugged. "He wouldn't like it. Aro is very… Black and white, you see. Once a master is done with his donor, then that should be that. Nothing else."
"Why is it like that?" I asked.
"Why does the Earth rotate, Bella? Why do good people die each and every day? It's just… How it is." He told me, bringing his hand to my cheek, rubbing the side of it.
"It's not fair." I told him.
"I know." He whispered, kissing me softly on the tip of my nose. "It could… Be worse." He trailed off, his blood red eyes staring into me. I felt a lump go down my throat as I gripped onto his shoulders, staring away from him for just a moment. "You could be with someone who does not care for you the way I do. Someone who would use you for their purpose… Fully."
"Fully?" I whispered.
"There are much worse things donors do, Isabella. I would never use you the way most of my kind do. Never." He tells me, brushing my hair behind my ears. "I know you want to see Alec. But I can only give you me. Is that not enough?" He asked. I looked up to him, my ears blinking back the tears as I nodded my head. Edward huffed.
"It's enough." I nodded.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"You are enough for me." I said, bringing my arms up to wrap around his neck. Because he was right, it could be so much worse. Something not even my nightmares could touch. And as much as I miss Alec, as much as I hated it here at first and as much as I have been through, it could be so much worse. Edward would protect me, I knew that. He would be with me, he would take care of me… And maybe one day he would love me.
Or maybe he already has.
He smiled and kissed me gently on the lips, but this time I did not want gentle. I wanted him. As much as I could get. I put my hand to the back of his neck, kissing him hard, feeling his hands on my sides. He smiled against my lips, laying me down onto the bed as he covered me. My fingers etched under his shirt, feeling to cool ridges of his body.
His tongue swept over mine, fire and ice. It sent chills to my bones, my hands all the way up his shirt, my fingernails raking down his back leaving no marks. He kissed me harder, touching my jaw and pushing his hips into mine.
He made me feel weightless.
I was in the air.
I was at his mercy.
But he stopped, the kiss dying but the sparks still there. His lips skimmed mine, his hands at the side of my face, cradling it.
"You mean so much to me. Do you know that?" He asked and I didn't respond, only letting my hands smooth over his back. "Being here… With you. I've never been happier." He told me and I smiled, feeling the blush over my cheeks. He smiled, kissing the rosy color on both sides. "You are happy with me? As well?"
I smiled and nodded my head, one hand falling to brush away the auburn hair away from his face.
"I can't put it into words…" I shook my head, leaning up to kiss his lips. He nodded his head, leaning his forehead down against my own and rubbing my sides. We stayed like that for an hour, just holding each other before I had fallen asleep gently in his arms.
First of all I want to apologize for the two weeks I have been absent. We were affected by those nasty storms and our power was out for almost a week and a half. After it came back on I was attempting to catch up with work and I had a lot of stuff to do. Everything is back to normal and updates should go back to weekly again. Thank you all for being patient and I hope all of you were safe during those storms that passed by if you live in those areas.
See you all soon.
ii