I watched from afar.

I kept my distance.

Pale little hands gripped onto a shirt, bringing them tighter together as sobs racked through the brisk Ireland air. Tears fell over rosy cheeks and for a moment I doubted my decision.

But these were not sad tears.

She was happy.

And I knew I could not regret this. Not even for a moment.

Of course we were being watched.

We always were. We had to be careful where we stepped, where we make our next move. If anything is out of place, if they catch on even for a second everything could collapse in itself. But here and now, I knew we lost track of them. I knew they weren't worried, supposing we went off to celebrate the Holidays. Just skeptical. Always skeptical.

Alec brought Bella closer to him, shielding her from the cold wind as he kissed the top of her head. If he could cry his cheeks would be wet. His smile was unmistakable and I knew both of them were sewing the pieces in their hearts that have been gone for so long.

I remember when she asked me that night in the bedroom, when she asked if she would ever see him again. Not if she could see him. But if she ever will. She wasn't demanding and she wasn't angry. When I told her there was no possible way she of course was sad, but she moved on.

She said I was enough.

But I knew that was a lie.

And I wasn't upset by that. Alec was the closest thing to a father she has ever had. Her blood father, she never met. Alec tended to her and for all intent and purposes he raised her to be the woman she is now. I had been jealous of his time with her, with the connection they made. But now I was thankful.

Alec looked back to me, his cheek to the top of her head as he mouthed the words thank you. I nodded in acknowledgment. He took her inside and I stayed out, helping the human man with the bags.

"Would you like us to bring it in for you, sir?" The red headed man asked.

"That won't be necessary. Go ahead and take off." I told him. He drove off in the car as I headed to the side door with the bags, giving Alec and Bella their privacy. I set her things onto the large bed in the back, unpacking her clothes in the drawers and closets.

"Are you being treated right, Ma biche?" Alec asked Bella from the living room. I tried not to listen – I tried to ignore it but I felt the need to know. I wanted to hear her answer. She did not give one except she moved slightly, as if her chin nodded, her hair whisping behind her back. "You are happy?" He asked.

"I wasn't." She began, my body freezing as I stared out the window and to the rising sun. "For awhile, I was scared. Even at Carlisle's. I just wanted to be back home."

"What about now?" He asked and I knew she was hesitant. She knew I was listening.

"I'm happy." The answer was firm, but it lingered. She had more to say. Something that would undoubtedly hurt me, or she thinks would hurt me. "But I miss it. I miss Deer Isle."

"The house isn't the same without you, my little doe." He told her. "But you are happy in Hilo?"

"Yes. I'm very happy there." She told him and I could hear her smile. It eased me and I blocked out their conversation, trying to give them as much privacy as I possibly could. They talked for hours and at some point I left to take a walk down to the beach and by the time I got back, Bella had fallen asleep. Her head was in Alec's lap as he sat on the couch, her body covered with a wool blanket as her brown sugar hair ran down in waves over the couch.

Alec moved his legs, just enough to get a pillow underneath her head as she dug herself deeper into the couch. I followed him into the loft, the large glass window casting off towards the edge of the cliff, just underneath it the water of the ocean.

"She seems to be doing well." He told me, hands in his pocket as he nodded every so slightly.

"I told you I would take care of her." I told him sternly, as if I were offended by his assumption.

"I had no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't." He told me, staring off into the fog. "Of course I'm always going to wonder. Just because she is that important to me." He said but I did not respond, only looking out to the view. We stayed silent for a few minutes, just watching as the cold ocean lapped up. "Would it be too comical for me to interrogate you? Just as a father would if his daughter brings home a boy?" He asked, a slight smirk on his lips. I laughed, shaking my head.

"I would like to think we are past that talk, Alec." I told him.

"She loves you." He said. "I can tell in the way she speaks of you. Or when her eyes sparkle when she says your name." I tried not to smile, but it was breaking its way through me. "You have not mated her." He said simply, though a bit surprised.

"No." I said quickly, shaking my head. "It's too dangerous right now."

"This is too dangerous, Edward." Alec sighed.

"It's a little too late to back out now." I told him with a slight smirk but Alec only shook his head.

"If they even catch a whiff. If they even suspect…" He began but I had cut him off.

"They already suspect, it's nothing new. Aro has always been that way. Always thinking someone is trying to deceive him." I say with a tone, glancing away.

"Isn't that exactly what we are doing?" Alec asked as I shrugged. "If they find out you are not using her the way they want you too… If they find out you plan on mating with her… They will take her. They will give her to someone worse. And they will kill you and me. And Carlisle and his family. You're already under scrutiny because of what happened back…"

"I do not need a history lesson, Alec." I growled. "Are you trying to talk me out of this?" I asked, raising a brow.

"No. I know where your heart is. I'm just warning you." He said. "She is fragile. She won't be able to take being a real donor, that's not how she was raised. She doesn't understand how… Hideous it can be."

"I won't let anything happen to her." I told him sternly.

"That better be a fact. Because if Aro does not get to you, then I surely will." He bared his teeth but I only laughed. "I'm trying to be as fatherly as I can with her."

"Well you're doing a good job by threatening me." I smiled, shaking my head. "Everything will be okay. I have a plan." We went silent.

"She will want to be changed." He told me, looking at me for a reaction. I didn't know how I felt about this. Of course she would want to be changed. Of course when I did mate with her, when I left my mating mark, she would want to be changed. I did not doubt this for a second.

But could I give that to her knowing that outcome?

That one day it was possible that she could hate me, just as I hated my creator for damning me to this eternal life? I didn't enjoy being this way and if I could turn human for her, have a normal life with her, have children with her, grow old with her… Nothing would stop me.

But I do not have that choice. And if I want her forever, I would have to do this. I knew I was selfish. But was I that selfish? Yes.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." I told him, watching as he gauged my reaction. He only walked to me, patting me on the back before leaving to somewhere I didn't know. Bella stirred in her sleep and I was at her side instantly, scooping her up into my arms as I took her to the bedroom.

The white bed was covered by a giant canopy, lace racing down the side of it as the gas lamp next to the wall shined our shadows with the flicker of its light. I set her underneath the covers, kissing the side of her head as I let her sleep.

-TSIPWR-

She woke up gently that afternoon, a smile on her lips that made me smile in return. I was the first thing she saw, the first thing she grabbed and brought closer as we could kiss. She made me feel raw emotions – something I hadn't felt in all eternity. I was an open book for her. She was the only one who made me feel this way.

She grabbed the back of my neck, playing with the hair at the nape of it as she rested her forehead against mine.

"Thank you." She whispered, bringing me closer to her. She was not nearly strong enough and I smiled and brought myself to her, kissing her cheek that was now wet with tears. I looked at her in concern but she only shook her head. "I'm just really, really happy."

"I just want you to be happy." I said with a nod. She smiled and tugged me to come closer. I laid beside her, wrapping my arms around her waist as our hips touched, her leg coming up to hitch around my waist.

"I thought you said it was dangerous seeing Alec?" She asked, curiously.

"We side stepped the danger. I think we are okay for now." I told her honestly.

"For now?" She blanched.

"Don't let this worry you." I said, tucking the stray hairs behind her ear. "I want you to be nothing but happy during this trip. Let me be the worried one." I said with a smile, leaning forward to kiss her nose.

"Where is Alec? Does he know about us?" She asked, now suddenly feeling very self-conscious. As if her father had walked in on her and her boyfriend in a provocative position on the couch.

"I think he has a good guess." I grinned. "He's out. He'll be back." I told her as she settled down deeper into the pillows. "I think you will enjoy this Thanksgiving."

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Yeah." I smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. She had no idea of the things Alec and I had up our sleeves, but that was the part of surprising her. We lay around in bed for awhile longer, speaking little and kissing more.

I wanted nothing but her.

Every time we kissed.

I wanted more.

More.

And more.

I remember just a few nights ago. I was on my way home from Wainaku. It was the last time I would talk to Alec before going onto the trip to Ireland. And I was not stupid. I knew Aro had someone tap into the phone system in the house. He knew I knew. He was being cautious. I was being cautious. I made the trip to use a random phone booth. On the way back, though, I remember being so close… And then it hit me.

She was calling for me. Like she was moaning my name over and over again. I could hear her in my head, feel her in my body.

I broke quite a few laws that night, trying to get home.

When I arrived, my senses took over me, I was on overload.

I wanted nothing but to mate with her that night. Mentally and physically.

I had even asked her and she had said yes. But a light of sense had brightened just before I did anything. I hated myself. I hated for coming to my senses when I wanted to do nothing but be with her in the way I've wanted to for years. But the dangers were lurking. She wasn't ready yet. I held off and just fed. I don't know how, but I did.

I think about it everyday.

I think of when her body was aching for me.

I wonder when it will happen again.

She will keep doing it until she is mated.

That is how her body is reacting to the venom. No matter how little goes in when I feed, she will always react.

I kiss her hard, our tongues warm and cold. She makes me feel so alive and before I rip her clothes off we get up after awhile and I start her a bath and she begs me to join. I knew I was not ready for that. I declined regretfully and wait for her in the living room. We make our way to town that evening and I take her to a pub. She drinks down cheap Irish beer and hates every bit of it. I drink one for show, it doing nothing to my system but making my thirst for her blood clench tighter. I knew I would have to feed tonight.

We walked to the shops and I bought her a claddagh ring. She asked to borrow some money and disappeared for a few minutes only to bring me back a matching one. We laughed and kissed, enjoying the time together. When we reached back to the house, Alec was waiting with open arms. I gladly handed her over to him, knowing that they wanted to soak up every moment they could with each other.

Alec noticed her pinwheel necklace and she told him she never takes it off, it helping her through rough times when she needs it. They talked for hours. Not of how they were doing with out each other, but of their memories together, back in Deer Isle, back traveling together. They laughed and she cried and he hugged her till she was dry from the tears. He kissed her cheek and her forehead, speaking to her in Italian.

You will always be my little doe.

She hugged him tighter and he told her he had to leave but would be back first thing in the morning with a surprise. She hugged him again, as if she couldn't get enough and he left.

I laid her down in the bed that night, kissing and nipping. She enjoyed it when I nipped at her skin. She was hot under me and I wanted nothing more but to shed our clothes. I knew it was not time and instead I took the blood from her neck, watching as she writhed under me, calling out my name as her body tried to cling onto me tighter.

When I let go she ran her fingers through my hair, drifting back down to Earth with a smile on her face.