June 8th 2011
Jackson, Wyoming
11:34 PM

But upon an unfortunate series of events, I saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again. Sparkling and broken.

Within an hour I had counted seven shooting stars.

They were quick, and if you blinked you would have missed it. But if you were privileged enough, you would see the fire ball of rocks and dust light up a string of the sky for just the milliseconds it graces the Earth's atmosphere. It was quite a beautiful thing – something that was taken for granted. Most humans live in lightened areas, where sometimes even just the stars are hard to see.

How unlucky for them, I thought.

Even Forks didn't have this much of a view.

This was something I did almost every night. I would head for the mountains and just in between I would park and lay down a blanket in the bed of my truck. I would stay like this for hours, covered in blankets with hot tea or coffee, because I had nothing else better to do. But I didn't mind, this was something most people missed, something most people didn't have the time for.

Well, I had all the time in the world.

The air had a bite to it even though we were reaching mid June but I enjoyed it, in fact I welcomed the coldness that prickled my skin and raised bumps that forced me awake. I love the feeling of it. The wind whipped, my hair flying everywhere and sticking to my lips that were covered in a coat of chapstick as I sipped on my tea.

I loved being here, being in my spot. I loved the quiet, the mountains, the stars, the moon, the coyotes that howled in the distance. I loved the wind that accompanied me and sometimes the rain that covered me. I loved everything about this.

I looked to the stars and wondered what was beyond it, who was beyond it. I wondered about others like us, ones who may feel like we do. Do they see, love, hurt, cry? Do they fear being alone or fear death? Are they like us or are they different? I wondered for a moment if there was a world reflected exactly like our own, but the complete opposite.

Another shooting star, straight across the sky.

My mind couldn't help but wonder. I knew why I asked myself questions about other universes, about things that I didn't understand myself. It was to drift away from Earth. I didn't want to think about things – mainly a certain Vampire. But I couldn't help it. I wondered what he was doing. He always entered my mine when I least expected it. I wondered if he was okay, if he was happy. And as if something had stung me, I stood from my spot, gathering my blanket and cups and jumped out of the bed. I needed a new distraction.

My fingers were tight on the steering wheel as I drove my truck up the deserted hill. Music was blaring to keep me away though my eyes were restless, my body aching from the lack of proper care. My house was tucked just in the corner by the mountains and the sight of it made me sigh in relief. The porch light was on, just as I had left it earlier today and I noticed that the red convertible was gone from the driveway. As I pulled into my spot I turned the ignition off and opened my door.

I grabbed my things and I nearly dragged myself inside and once I made it, I leaned against the door, rubbing my eyes as I shrugged off my coat and hung it on the hook. I shuffled to the kitchen, grabbing my teapot and filling it with water. I turned on the stove and set the pot on top of it, turning the side to see a note folded on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

I picked it up, unfolded it and recognized the hand writing immediately.

This came for you today. Call me when you can.

xo R

Just underneath her note was an envelope. I picked it up and read the front, the name different than my own.

Suzanna Ruth

It was my fake name, one I had to become accustomed to in this town. It was a secret identity, a lie. It was a name to protect me from harm. And I hated it. But the letter gave me a sense of hope. It had been sometime since I have received one, though I knew exactly who it was from. I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter, unfolding it upwards.

I,

I have just returned to the United States from Italy which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Forgive me. To answer your question – yes, it may be just a little while longer. I'm not sure when. I have heard that Aro has been informed of the incident but he still has no idea you were involved. A rogue vampire attack is not uncommon, so it was not very interesting news to him. I am on a right track with Victoria, I am almost certain she is heading in the direction of the east coast, with the accompany of Riley, which is why it is harder to pinpoint where she is going.

How are you doing? I hear Rosalie squeezed you a new job in Jackson. That was very considerate of her. I know you still feel helpless. I want you to know you are helping both of us out by staying hidden. It would be much harder to protect you if you were out in the open. I promise things will get better; you just have to trust us. I know you feel left out and hurt, but understand that this is what needs to happen.

You need to relax. He can feel your anxiety. Even with the distance between you two. That is how powerful the bite is. He is restless. Just breathe, Ma biche. He did, however, ask me to pass on some words for you. He misses you. Terribly. But you need to learn how to hold yourself up. Be that brave girl I know you to be.

All my love,

Alec

I set the paper down and slid it towards the middle. I felt my eyes watering, my throat going dry as an emptiness in my heart made itself known, over and over again. It was six months ago the attack in Hilo had happened. Six months since I had seen Edward. Six months since I have heard from him.

My heart hurt. It ached with the pain of him being absent. All I wanted was him. And all I could think of is him. It had got easier in time. The farther we are apart, the more it is to distract myself. With some help, I did score me a job waitressing at a local bar downtown. I was unsure at first but I had realized it helped the time tick faster. Just six months ago when the attack happened and Edward had found me in the woods afterwards, he took me back to the cottage that was in shambles.

He cleaned up my cuts and told me what had to happen. He told me we couldn't see each other, we couldn't be near each other. Word would get back to Aro and he would have to clean up damage. We would have to go a long time with out each other.

"I don't want to do this." He told me.

"Then why are you?" I cried.

I made him feel guilty. I made him hurt. I yelled at him, screamed, I asked him why he was leaving me, why he wanted this to happen. He yelled back, telling me that I wasn't safe, that someone he didn't know was after me. He told me that he didn't want it but it had to be done. I didn't understand then. And I wasn't sure I understood now, but I gave up the fight.

He let me stay for another night. He took me to the extra cottage just down the road. He kissed me and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him. It was the first time I said it. He smiled and kissed me some more and I held onto him, hoping this wasn't the end. He promised he would come back to me. He promised he wouldn't leave me behind. He promised he would find a way for us to work.

Six months later and we have personally not spoken. He doesn't call, he doesn't write and that was the agreement he made. Everything he says to me is told through Alec and even then it is cryptic. He disconnected all communication for my safety if Aro were to find out about us, or if Victoria were to find my location. Yes – Victoria. They had found out within a month of the attack that Victoria had set up the ambush.

Victoria was out to kill me, out for revenge for Edward leaving her for me. My attacker, Riley, is what Alec likes to call a rogue. He does not abide by Aro's rules and kills on his own accountant. It is still unknown if Victoria is his donor, or what exactly she still has planned.

Before I left, I had no idea where I was going and I was sick of the thought of starting over. But I didn't start over entirely. A new identity was nerve racking, but they sent along a companion. Rosalie was the first willing to be with me. Actually, before her, was Alice, but Alec and Carlisle agreed that I needed a vampire. Someone who could take on danger if it were to happen. Rosalie was the first to agree.

She wasn't Edward, but she made me feel safe. A chunk of me was missing, but she helped me scab over the wound. I had felt bad, at first, taking her away from Emmett who was not allowed to come with. I knew she missed him, and their being apart was because of me. But she did leave every other weekend to visit him, only when she knew I was perfectly safe. I on the other hand was not allowed to leave Jackson, Wyoming until further notice.

The tea pot had startled me with hissing and I turned quickly to turn the knob of the stove off. I poured water into my cup along with the tea bag and let it cool while I re-read the letter over and over.

He misses you. Terribly.

I knew he missed me. I could feel it at nights when I woke from the burning sensation at my neck. One night, it had gotten so bad that I was writhing on the floor. I couldn't even make it to the bathroom to splash cold water onto it. It was his hunger. It was his need. It was the only connection I had to him. How he was dosing his hunger was beyond me. I had assumed he had another woman at his side, one to pose as a donor.

The burning would only happen once every month. I never knew when. But I knew it meant he held off his hunger as long as he could. I wish he didn't, I wish he fed whenever he pleased but I knew this was his way to connect with me. I knew he did it to give me some shed of hope.

There were other times – it has only happened twice. Once at home and the other the first week of my new job. I was bringing a tray of food out to costumers, music blaring as others played a mixture of pool, darts and foosball. The bar was busy and I was nearly at the table when I felt a pang in my stomach. I stopped, collecting myself as I held my hand over my navel. I continued to walk but before I reached the table another pang hit me.

The tray of food dropped and a woman was instantly by my side. She asked me over and over again if I was okay but I couldn't help but ignore her. My coworkers were near me and like a flash of a light; I was in the bathroom by myself. I couldn't remember walking there but I locked the door and stumbled to the sink. I cupped water in my hands and splashed it down my skin, chilling myself as the pang went away.

I looked to the mirror, my face abnormally red, blushing even. And like being hit with a hammer, another pang hit me, this time even lower. I cried out, falling back onto the floor. I bit at my lip as the pang grew on, growing and growing as I cried out.

But I realized soon that I was not crying in pain – but in pleasure.

The thought shocked me, my hands clenching my stomach as I felt as if I were going mad. Another wave rocked through me and I moaned in approval, gripping onto the wall as if it were going to hold me down. The music outside was still blaring, my cheeks reddening as I tilted my head back feeling the pleasure shoot through me like a rocket.

I was aching to be touched and I knew I felt this feeling before. I remember waking in the hammock in Hilo, I remember him growling behind me his approval. I remember the feeling of him, the weight of him pressing into me. I wanted him so badly.

Without a second thought I reached my hand down to my black jeans. I unbuttoned them quickly, feeling my body sweat as my fingers touched my aching center. It wasn't enough. I could remember moaning and spinning my fingertips in circles, over and over again. It didn't douse the feeling, but it helped. The pleasure grew, like a rubber band stretching and stretching. I was nearly screaming, not giving a second thought to who heard me.

I entered my fingers inside, pumping in and out as my free hand clenched at my knee. The rubber band was stretched to capacity, I could feel myself coiling and with another pang jolting to me the rubber band snapped and I let myself go.

I was so confused, even embarrassed. But I didn't regret it.

Laying on the bathroom floor, heaving as I tried to recuperate, I knew it was him calling to me and I responded. I wondered if he could feel it too. I wondered how he may have released… And within moments I shed tears because I knew his release was more than likely with a woman.

Later that night when I got home from work, I reluctantly asked Rosalie about it. She told me that even though he and I were not mated, we were still bonded by my mark. I was confused, considering the mark he left on me was not a mating mark.

"It does not matter. The mark of a Vampire is intentional. Always. A vampire can mark a human as a donor or a mate. But either way, that vampire can control exactly how you feel.. He can make you feel whatever you want because it is his mark. Even if it isn't a mating mark. It's normal for you to feel this way because he wants you to feel it." She explained to me that night.

"But… Why? Why does he want me to feel it when we are thousands of miles away from each other?" I asked as slow tears stained my cheeks. She took a moment, her smile faint but I saw it.

"It is his connection to you, Bella. He wants you to know that he misses you just as much as you miss him. And sometimes, he cannot control his urges. Maybe he remembered something, something that aroused him. Something of you. It's normal in this world. Sex is a big part of being a vampire because it is one of the only things that is still enjoyable to us." She laughed as I felt my cheeks redden. "Don't be embarrassed about it. I'm sure he isn't."

"How do you think he… Released?" I asked, feeling my throat go dry. Rosalie burrowed her eyebrows. She knew what I was thinking.

"Don't bother yourself with those questions, Bella. I know what is on your mind. Whatever he did – it does not matter." She said sternly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because when he did it he was thinking of you. That's why it was so strong. That's why you felt it. Because whatever he was doing, he was making sure you felt it to because he wants you to know that he is still here. He is still yours." She said before leaving me alone in my thoughts.

Whatever Edward did that day, was something I forgot about. I didn't want to know what he did. All I needed to know was his message. And I heard it loud and clear.

I tucked the letter under my arm and grabbed my cup of tea. I turned all my lights off and headed up stairs to my bedroom, opening my door and turning on my TV that played a station simply dedicated to ocean sounds. I immediately felt at ease, sipping on my tea as I opened the drawer of my bed side table. I tucked in the letter, just with the rest of them and closed it up safely.

I curled into my bed, taking in a deep breath as the sounds of waves take me back to Hilo. I tried to remember satin sheets and a cold body. I tried to remember everything that was recently taken away from me. The smells of Sam cooking, the laugh of Peter and the touch of Edward. Within moments I fell into a deep slumber, something that was long over due.

Thank you again lovelies for understanding the hiatus. And thanks for all your loving support! I'm going to leave the authors note on so if you had commented on it, you are allowed to comment on this one. Thanks again you amazing, amazing beings. I'm in total love with you all. See you soon.

ii