Title: Dessert of the Day

Author: paws-bells

Characters/Pairing: Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Itachi

Type: One Shot/Drabble Collection (InComplete)

Genre: Romance/General/Humor

Word Count: 1843

Rating: T (Contains content not suitable for children)

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-san.

Summary: Random ItaSaku drabbles/onesies featuring various universes and various storylines for your reading pleasure. Chapters may or may not be interconnected.

Created on: 17/04/14

Completed on: 17/04/14

Chapter Last Revised on: 19/11/16

Prompt: Vampire AU.

"Your blood is unappetizing – I don't want it."

It was the last thing Itachi expected to hear. He stared at the Vampire Queen in muted surprise. "Excuse me?" he asked faintly, seeming to have some difficulty comprehending what he had just heard. This was not how he had expected the situation to turn out, and even though he was known to possess quite the implacable and staid personality, right now, Itachi was admittedly baffled. He had chosen to volunteer himself to be the Vampiress' demanded once-in-a-century living sacrifice, an archaic practice that had persisted in his clan for generations upon generations in exchange for the powerful immortal's blessing and protection, so as to safeguard his younger brother Sasuke who would have been picked if not for the elder brother's intervention. The raven haired male had resolved to die for his clan and family this day, offered up to the Uchiha's supernatural Guardian in exchange for yet another century of peace and prosperity.

He hadn't exactly anticipated to be turned down flat because he wasn't tasty enough.

Sakura looked at the momentarily perplexed human and tilted her head, lifting her shoulder in a careless shrug at the same time. "You're kind of pasty and skinny, aren't you?" she observed in a well-modulated, perfectly accented tone, her preternaturally vibrant emerald eyes glowing as she centered them on him. The pink haired Vampiress was uncannily beautiful despite her unusual coloring, eerily breathtaking and flawless; her skin alabaster white, her figure lithe and willowy. Her face was heart shaped and exquisite, her features doll like and elegant. She moved and carried herself with a languid, feline sensuality, and her appearance was youthful, so much so that if he wasn't already aware that she was an immortal being who had already lived for more than half a millennia, he would have thought that she was younger than him. There was an unnerving wisdom in her sharp, highly intelligent eyes however – something that felt ancient and very, very old – that belied her youthful physical appearance, though right now, she seemed to be acting more like a petulant child than a wise and aged immortal.

The Vampiress sighed loudly with disappointment, lounging back on her high back armchair as she continued to stare at him glumly like one would a sad scrap of meat. "I already told them I wanted someone more robust, but century after century they keep sending me all the weak looking, runty ones." That was quite a bold assertion, seeing that the 'all powerful' Guardian was a rather petite individual herself, and Itachi continued to stare at her in a wordlessly incredulous manner. "This will not do – I think I'll have to make a trip down to your clan holdings after all and enquire about their exchange policy."

The Uchiha scion was becoming increasingly alarmed by the direction of her thoughts. If she went and demanded to have Sasuke instead…

"There's no need for that, my Lady," Itachi interjected swiftly and decisively. "I assure you that I'm the best my clan has to offer." Much to his chagrin, she looked dubiously skeptical by his claim, but he continued. "Besides, how can you tell that my blood is unappetizing? You haven't even had a taste yet."

Sakura said nothing for a while, preferring to study the lean, lanky male standing tall and still before her instead, boldly meeting her gaze with his own unwavering one. She could not deny that there was a silent strength to him; she had sensed that his will was rather impressive and indomitable, and he also seemed to possess a quiet dignity that was very rarely seen in humans. She was slightly fascinated by his stolid character – most people tended to be scared out of their wits when they were before her but he had been impassive and calm, very unusual – however on the other hand, he was also food, and she really shouldn't care about how interesting he was, just how tasty he would be.

She could tell that he was hiding something though – he was likely protecting something, or someone – judging by his wary and mildly agitated demeanor when she suggested that she might return him to his clan for another sacrifice. Sakura did not know what his deal was, but at last, she simply replied.

"I don't need to taste your blood to know that you have been sick for quite some time," she noted calmly, and he stiffened ever so slightly in response to her astute statement. "You have likely been physically frail since birth, and your lungs are especially weak. You have been unwell for a long time, but the rate of your deterioration has been strictly controlled and inhibited by numerous medication over the years. Without the aid of drugs, you will likely only have a few more years left to live. Am I right so far, Uchiha?"

He was standing completely motionless by now, unable to speak, to defend himself, to refute her words.

Sakura shook her head, her gaze cool. "Has the Uchiha clan fallen so far in their honor that they'd dare try to trick me with an unworthy sacrifice?"

Itachi went completely rigid at that, his eyes flashing, steely with resolve. "It was my decision to offer myself to you, my Lady, against the wishes of the clan. I am Uchiha Itachi, the firstborn of the current clan head and the heir to the Uchiha line. I believe that I will be of use to you, my Lady, if you will give me a chance to prove my worth."

Sakura cocked her head slightly to the side. "Aren't you being presumptuous?" she purred archly, silkily. It was a dangerous, predatory sort of tone that could turn deadly in an instant. "Regardless of whatever you say, I'll still need to feed, you know."

There was no doubt that he was bargaining with a devil right now. Itachi continued to look steadily at his opponent, well aware that a single misstep here, and his clan would bear the harsh repercussions of his failure.

"I am the only sacrifice that you will get from the Uchiha, my Lady," he spoke very deliberately, very stilly. Firm and resolute. Unmovable. This was the definite and unyielding decision of the heir. Then, much to her inward surprise, that proud back started to bend, slowly, painstakingly, inch by inch, until he was bowing deeply in submissive obeisance towards her.

"Please, accept this humble offering, mistress."

Sakura straightened slightly on her seat and uncrossed her legs gracefully, watching him with interest, her gaze unreadable. She tapped a well-manicured fingernail consideringly against her chin.

"My, aren't you a sly one? You're forcing my hand here."

He said nothing, but remained in his subservient position, his gaze fixed passively at her feet.

"I'll have you die a dog's death if this is what you continue to insist on," she commented airily, as if they were discussing nothing more than the passing weather.

"I swear to serve and stand by you loyally and faithfully for as long as I live," Itachi promised firmly in reply, and he instantly felt the bonds of his vow bind him tightly to her. Sakura slid off her armchair, and glided leisurely over to the Uchiha. Her cool hand touched his face briefly; she trailed her slender fingers along his defined jawline and hooked them under his chin, tilting his head up so that his gaze met hers once more. At this proximity, her unnatural beauty was both heart aching and terrifying, as was the unhuman, feral gleam in her eyes. To his credit, he did not flinch away from her nor attempt to avoid that sharp, overly discerning stare, meeting it with his own placid and rigidly controlled one.

The Vampiress was reluctantly impressed. He was not just all talk only.

"Very well," she declared at last, her fingers dropping away from his face after one last, barely perceptible butterfly caress. "I accept your challenge, Uchiha Itachi. Even though you're like this now, I'll turn you into the most delicious human, one worthy to be devoured by yours truly. Do you agree with me?"

He looked at her evenly, as the uncertain tension in him slowly started to dissolve into bittersweet relief. "I'll abide by your will, mistress."

Her pink lips curled into a sweet, coquettish smile. "That's a good boy."

"Now, first things first. I like my food to be healthy, organic and drug free, so that sickness of yours will have to go."

She made it sound like such an inconsequential matter – and perhaps, to her, it really was. He stared at her in a wondering manner.

"…You can cure my sickness?" he asked, momentarily astounded by the possibility.

She shot him a mildly disdainful look. "Who do you think I am?" she retorted in a way that professed herself the best thing since sliced bread. She was the Uchiha's Guardian patron, after all; curing him would be a piece of cake.

Itachi still appeared quietly stunned. This was not how he had expected his life to turn out. His briefly startled expression must have been fleetingly clear to his new mistress though, for she smirked at him and drawled chirpily. "What? Did you really think that you'd get off so easily? I only get a human sacrifice every hundred years or so, you know. I have learned to take good care of my toys so they'd last."

Toys. He was a toy now, and apparently, he was also food as well. Itachi belatedly wondered what he had just signed himself up for.

"Oh, and by the way, I still think you're a bit too stringy for my tastes-" Without warning, she reached out gracefully and shamelessly groped his behind. Itachi stiffened. "Mhm, yep. You can stand to be beefier, little puppy. We'll have to work on that~"

The poor Uchiha was very bewildered and disturbed. "Mistress," he bit out, struggling to retain his impassivity and detachment. "Please do not-"

"What are you talking about? You're mine now, remember?" she asked innocuously, and he snapped his mouth shut, because she was right. Still, he was getting rather flustered all on his own though, and something told Sakura that he was going to be very fun to tease; the serious, uptight ones were always the most entertaining, in her opinion. Maybe having him around might not be too bad, after all.

"Mou, if you're going to be like this now, I really wonder how you'll cope when I ask you to scrub my back for me during bath times."

"…" The rising alarm on his face would have been rather insulting if not for the fact that she could tell that he was just horribly mortified by the very notion of bathing with her, proving without a doubt that he was indeed an honorably raised nobleman from an old and established clan. Sakura hid her smile as she glided ahead of the stumped looking male.

Yes, the next few years might just be very entertaining, alright.

::owari::

Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:

Hello, everyone! Long time no see! I hope that you're all doing well and successfully in all of your respective endeavors!

It has been awhile since I've logged onto this account, and even longer yet since I last posted anything for the Naruto fandom. I won't apologize or make excuses for my extended absence because life sucks (and I'm also very irresponsible), but lately, I've been digging into my fanfic folders and unearthing all sorts of old fics (like this chapter) that I have written some time ago but have not yet posted here on FFNet. As such, I'll be doing so slowly, since I'm also trying to get back into this fandom after just starting to get around to getting over my Very Long Sulk over the Disappointing Ending of Naruto™. I'm still not completely over that, to be honest (I hold grudges like nobody's business), but I'm also feeling my love for ItaSaku returning so this time I'm going to focus on what I love instead of what I'm (still very) salty about.

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FYI, this Vampire AU was actually written back in 2014 on tumblr, but honest to god, I forgot all about it until recently (a few hours ago, to be precise). Over the years, my fanfic folder has grown into a monstrosity where unedited/unposted/uncompleted works go to die, and when you reach my level of procrastination, that folder has become something where I (irresponsibly) keep feeding but expand NO effort whatsoever into organizing, so trust me when I say that I'm really feeling that agonizing pain of regret now. Rambling aside, I'm wading through folders (and crying) trying to make sense of my own writings, embarrassing as it is to say, but somehow it does feel like my urge to buckle down and write is coming back more and more (fingers crossed!).

Anyway, back to this chapter; some of you may have already read this before on tumblr, but for the ones who hasn't, I hope you will enjoy it. The prompt is pretty much self-explanatory. I'm quite bored of seeing the atypical 'supernatural male protagonist' plot so mixing things up here had been quite fun to write. Shameless, seductive and bold!Sakura vs. bewilderedly speechless and morally appalled!Itachi is really, really hilarious to envision. Again, this AU feels like something that will be very entertaining to continue – why do I keep doing this to myself?!

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Last but not least, to all the wonderful reviewers and individuals who has unfailingly sent me feedback, PMs and all the warmest regards on various social media platforms over the extended span of my absence, thank you so, so very much for your kind thoughts, well wishes and enquiries. I may not be able to answer all of your messages, but I have received them all with gratitude and thankfulness.

Thanks for all of your patience and kind support, and as always, thanks for reading and fangirling (or fanboying) with me over the years! Until next time! :)

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Your reviews fuel my passion for writing. So please leave a comment if you like this fic!

-paws