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Harry awoke because the morning sunlight shining through the window fell gently on his eyelids. He shifted and groaned happily, the mattress under him feeling like a cloud. He felt well rested, more well-rested than ever before. Since when had he awoke feeling so good, without even a singular bad dream? Maybe this was the dream. Reality was painful, and for once in his life he felt free from pain.

He opened his eyes when memories came back to him: namely, getting shit faced in the forest. Snape had came to fetch him from the muggle village. That was all he could remember of last night. Damn, he was in so much trouble!

He sat up in bed with a gasp.

He had run away after getting punished in a humiliating way, and then...oh god no… what had he been thinking?

"Do try to keep your jumping around like a banshee to a minimum. Your body is recovering," said a voice by his side.

Harry was so shocked he almost fell off his bed. His head whipped around to stare at the dark, brooding figure of Snape, collapsed in a chair by his bed side. But why was the man in his room? And while he was sleeping as well! Harry stared at the man in shock, noticing the bags under his eyes and his ruffled hair, as if he was the one who got smashed up the night before. It was then that his words finally penetrated Harry's skull.

"Re...recovering?"

He looked down at his lap, realization flaring, and then swung the blankets away. He was wearing soft white pajamas that he had never even seen before. Which meant that… Snape had changed his clothes..? Which meant- No! There was charms to change someone into new clothes, wasn't there?

His heart beat skyrocketed and his breathing came in sharp gasps as he tried to reason with himself, that Snape did not know his secrets, that he had charmed pajamas on the boy and cleaned him with a spell.

But then… he could not remember the last time he had been completely free of bodily pain. And he did not hurt at all. He didn't even have a hangover headache. That wouldn't be possible unless...

"Yes, Potter, I am well acquainted with all your injuries," Snape drawled as if reading his thoughts. His voice held the familiar annoyed sound, as if he was being inconvenienced.

Harry doubled over, hugging his arms securely around his chest. He was gasping in air but he felt like he wasn't getting any. His blinked away the darkness creeping in at the corner of his vision. "It's not what you think!" he gasped.

"Oh?" Snape lazily crossed one leg over the other and leaned back as if he was about to relish something particularly entertaining. "And what do I think, Potter? Do tell me."

"You think-you probably think-" You think poor boy Harry Potter, couldn't protect himself from a muggle but must defeat a dark lord. Wait until the wizarding world hears about how pathetic and defenseless you are. No one will respect you ever again. You will be pitied by all. No one will look at you the same. "I just, I got in a fight! Some muggle boys they-"

"They beat you systematically throughout many years? With a belt buckle?" Snape's voice had been calm, but was growing louder and angrier as he went on. "You're going to tell me muggle boys did this?"

"No! Not just them. I mean sometimes I am careless and I -"

"Oh, are you going to tell me you fell down the steps repeatedly, because you're clumsy? Maybe you slam yourself into walls as well? Oh, or you like being beaten within an inch of your life for some kinky sex reason? Try harder, Potter. Maybe you sleep walk and ride your broom-completely unconsciously- into a tree. Every. Single. Night."

"No!" screamed Harry. "Stop it!" He couldn't breathe. He really couldn't. This was too much. His world was falling apart. It was too humiliating. He couldn't stand this.

Snape was standing over his bedside and speaking to him in a tone that was almost gentle. It took awhile for Harry to recognize the man's presence, or even to hear the words.

"Potter, you're hyperventilating. Deep breathes. That's it. Deep breathes. In 1, 2, 3 now hold it. Out, 1, 2, 3…" He was repeating this mantra until Harry followed it. Harry's vision began to clear and he could breath again, his panic attack receding.

Snape was sitting on his bed side, too close for comfort. His eyes were piercing, and Harry shied back a bit, dropping his gaze down to his trembling hands in his lap.

"Why are you pretending you care?" Harry asked, his voice hitching with emotion. "I know you don't! And I can take care of myself. I've done it this far. I don't need you! I don't want you to help me."

"Since when have I cared what you've wanted?" Snape scoffed. "I may not care about you as an individual, Potter, but as a teacher of hogwarts and your guardian I will not let your abuse go untreated."

That word settled in the pit of Harry's stomach like a hot ball of anxiety. "You're being dramatic. It wasn't abuse, not really." He forced his voice to be light-hearted. "I mean, yeah, I was mistreated. But you of all people must know how difficult I can be, right? I don't have to even do anything for people to despise me. Existing is enough. I'm sure you'd do the same if I was living with you for long. The punishments would just escalate until they were just as bad as before I got here. After all, you hated me before you even knew me!" Harry shied back as the words left his mouth, wishing he could retract them. Maybe Snape would agree with him and punish him now. That's what his uncle would do.

So, boy, you think I hate you? You think my punishments get worse then this? Well, you're right about one thing in that dunder head of yours!

Snape had stiffened. He had a strange look on his face. What was it? Regret? Sorrow? Could Snape even feel such emotions?

"It is true," Snape began slowly. "That I have not treated you with your best interest in mind in the past. Indeed, at times I have acted most disgracefully in my handling of you. My prejudices have clouded by judgement of you as an individual. Even now I am having to adjust my perception of you to something more accurate."

Harry's eyes grew wide as he stared at Snape with amazement. The man looked like he was chewing something distasteful, but he looked sincere. Was this Snape's way of apologizing?

Harry's heart leapt a little. The man had healed him, after all, and more than once at this point. He had healed his broken toes with that balm, and now he had healed his other injuries instead of punishing him. Every day he had made sure Harry ate meals and helped him with his homework. Maybe, just maybe, they could get along at some point? Maybe the man would actually start seeing Harry as Harry? Maybe if Harry behaved extra well and the man wouldn't need to punish him so severely. Maybe Harry could help the house elves or prep potions and Snape would even start to appreciate the boy and realize his value. Maybe-

Hope blossomed in Harry. He no longer wanted to be Potter. He wanted to become Harry. He would change Snape's view of him, if it was the last thing he did. He would make the man like him!

"Sir!" Harry looked up, his large green eyes were swimming with so much emotion that it took Snape's breath away. "Thank you for healing me! I will accept whatever punishment you decide to give me for running away and getting drunk. I was a coward and I disrespected you, and...and you have been so nice to me." His voice cracked. "No adult has ever cared so much, and you didn't have to, so thank you."

Snape's gut twisted with guilt at the words. "Potter, I have done the minimum of what any half-decent adult would do in such a situation. If you think that my healing you was needless kindness than you have only known the worst kind of adults."

Harry's emerald eyes were quizzical, his head tilted as he listed with bated breathe. Trying to get the boy to understand his words, Snape clasped Harry on the shoulder, ignoring the way the boy startled.

"Listen to me, Potter. You deserve adults who protect you and take care of your basic needs. This includes emotional needs. Every child deserves this. The adults in your life have failed you. Even me." Snape took a deep breath and released Harry's shoulders, turning away. "I know how much you detest me, and with good reason. I have not treated you the way you deserve. But you needn't worry about that any longer. A new guardian has been appointed for you."

Harry felt like he had been punched in the stomach. One second Snape had been apologizing, and now he was just pawning Harry off? "Wh-what?" Harry gasped. "You're getting rid of me?"

"I'm not getting rid of you, foolish boy. I am handing over your guardianship to someone more qualified. The person is a relative of Lily's, not related to you by blood. Nevertheless, he has expressed interest in taking care of you for the time being. Dumbledore and the Order have pronounced him safe." Snape scowled to himself. Not like they have been wrong before or anything, he thought silently.

Harry's disappointment was crushing. Of course Snape didn't want him. He had run away and gotten drunk, and that was after getting punished for his last transgression. Snape wasn't a patient man, and any patience that he had with the boy must have ran out last night. Maybe now that Snape knew about Harry's past he didn't want to dirty himself with Harry anymore. Maybe he couldn't handle the teenager. Harry had screwed up beyond repair. This was the worst kind of punishment. He had never been wanted, but he had never been this unwanted. Harry had expected punishments. He didn't expect to lose his place with Snape so shortly after arriving. He thought the man would handle him, not give up on him.

Snape stood up and walked to the door. "Get dressed and ready yourself for the day, then meet me downstairs for breakfast. After you may pack your belongings. Your new guardian will be arriving later today." He shut the door behind him.

Harry let the tears come then.