A/N: It's funny, isn't it, how you can have so many lovely reviews but it only takes a negative one to make you feel as if everything you've ever written is utter crap? Thanks for the comments about the poor pace and quality of the past few chapters and the accusation of 'dragging it out'. In retrospect I shouldn't have even tried to keep the story going as I bounced between trying to care for ill parents 400 miles away and meeting work deadlines. Stupid of me, obviously, and a timely reminder of why writing FF is such a waste of precious time. Huge thanks to those of you who have been patient and forgiving. I'm now very keen to get this over with, but I'm pretty convinced it'll be a disappointment.

Thirty

"Well, at least now you don't look quite so much as if you've been on the losing end of a bare knuckle bout, Coach."

B'Elanna was perched on the edge of Chakotay's bed. It was her third visit to his hospital room since he'd woken, and each time she'd come she'd had to screw up all her courage to even open the door. She felt that she had to be here, but seeing him lying on that bed, still wired up to the heart monitor and so badly bruised just reminded her of everything she'd done wrong over the past few months. Not that he held it against her. Chakotay had made that quite clear during her first visit, even though he'd been struggling to stay awake by the end.

Chakotay smiled at her. "I feel better every day. They say the drain they put in my lung can come out in the next week. Maybe then I can actually get out of this damn bed. My legs must be wasting away."

"Don't rush it," B'Elanna told him. "This time last week none of us thought you were going to make it, not even Kathryn. She-" At the mention of Kathryn's name, Chakotay looked away, something dark flashing through his eyes. B'Elanna stopped. "Has she been to visit you? She's not been to the garden for a few days. Tom's been handling everything."

Chakotay looked down at his folded hands and smiled. "She came in the day I woke up. But she won't be in again."

B'Elanna frowned. "Why not?"

Chakotay shifted slightly, uncomfortable. "She's got a lot on her plate with the wedding."

B'Elanna watched him. "Seems to me that she's always got a lot on her plate. She still manages to fit everything in. I can't believe she doesn't want to come visit you, not after everything that happened. I mean, she was there, she was-"

Chakotay took a breath. "B'Elanna, just – don't, all right? It was a mutual decision. So let's just leave it there."

"'A mutual decision'?" she repeated, in disbelief. "Coach, you make it sound like a political treaty, or something. All we're talking about is her coming to visit you in hospital. That doesn't take a whole lot of negotiation from where I'm sitting. You've been hurt, she cares about you, why doesn't she want to-" B'Elanna broke off, staring at him. "Oh."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

B'Elanna nodded to herself. "I guess that makes a whole lot more sense. I was wondering about that."

"About what?"

"How she managed to get to you so quickly after you got shot. I mean, the doctor's said that the fact someone put pressure on the wounds so quickly is what stopped you bleeding out straight away. I figured they'd shot you as soon as you got out of the car and she managed to jump out, but that wasn't it, was it?"

"B'Elanna…"

"She was already inside with you, right? You weren't arriving. She was leaving."

Chakotay frowned, staring over her head and at the blank blue sky through the window behind her.

B'Elanna nodded again. "I thought there was some pretty heavy chemistry going on between you that night. And now – what – she just wants to forget anything ever happened?"

"Nothing did happen, B'Elanna," Chakotay told her. "It's just… easier all round if we don't see each other again, that's all. It's better if we both just try to forget everything that happened that night and move on with our lives."

B'Elanna stared at him. "Do you seriously believe that?"

Chakotay spread his hands. "It doesn't matter what I believe, B'Elanna. She'd made a commitment before she'd even met me, and she's honouring that commitment. I can't blame her for that. She's known Mark a hell of a lot longer than she's known me."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"A lot. They have a life together. She and I… we don't even really know each other. If we'd met sooner, who knows what might have happened? But we didn't. And there's no point wishing that we had."

"Do you love her?"

Chakotay grimaced, uncomfortable. "B'Elanna…"

"Yes or no, Coach? It's that simple."

He actually laughed at that, wincing as the motion jarred his chest. "Only a teenager could see the world in shades that black and white."

B'Elanna clenched her fists. "If you love her, and you let her go, you're an idiot."

Coach shook his head with a sigh. "That's not how the world works, B'Elanna. Kathryn's not mine to let go of. She never was."

"But if you just told her how you felt-"

"She knows."

"You told her you love her? Just like that? That plainly? Or is she just supposed to assume it from a whole lot of smouldering looks?"

He opened his mouth and then shut it again.

"You know what the problem with this world is?" B'Elanna asked. "It's run by adults who don't get that some things really are that simple."

Chakotay gave a small smile. "Tell me about the garden," he said. "What's this I hear about that news piece going viral?"

B'Elanna almost tried to steer the conversation back to Kathryn again, but thought better of it. She rummaged in her bag and pulled out her iPad instead.

"Whoa," Chakotay said, staring at the piece of technology in B'Elanna's hand. "Is that new?"

"Yup. Tom bought it for me. It's an early Christmas present. He wanted me to have it for all these meetings I've got coming up. It makes it easy to show people my designs." She caught Chakotay's grin. "What?"

"Nothing. Pretty hefty present, that's all. He must be smitten."

B'Elanna refused to blush. She squared her jaw and glared at him instead. "He told me he's in love with me. It made me realise that I feel the same about him. Look at us two, behaving like adults. And we're half your age. You see how that works?"

"All right, all right," Chakotay said, waving a finger at the iPad. "Get on with it, Torres."

She on the screen and brought up some of the Internet coverage of the garden. Since the news footage of the community facing off against the Crims had aired, the story had been picked up by numerous online outlets.

"It was trending on Twitter for days," B'Elanna told him. "So many more people have come to visit the garden. A lot of them want to help out and plenty have brought flowers and vegetables. Tom and Harry have been working on a website and a Tumblr so that we can keep people updated."

Chakotay scrolled through the pages, looking impressed. "I'd be surprised if the gangs tried anything with this much public opinion."

"That's what we're hoping. And the police have started to patrol, too. Two squad cars turned up yesterday. I thought they were there for me at first, but it turned out they just wanted to see what was what. One of the cops said they'd try to swing by a few times a day, just to keep an eye out."

Chakotay handed the pad back with a smile. "Sounds good."

"Hope so." B'Elanna looked at the time on the screen. "I've gotta go. I've got a meeting with Mr La Forge this afternoon."

"Oh?"

"He's the only person willing to go with my idea of keeping everything to do with the water reclamation unit in Maywood," B'Elanna explained. "Professor Tuvok helped me do some drafts outlining what manufacturing equipment we'd need. That's what today's meeting's about." She smoothed down her outfit. It was the same dress she'd worn to the gala. She hadn't got around to giving it back to her friend yet. "How do I look?"

Chakotay smiled. "Like you're about to go into a bout and get a knock out on your first strike."

B'Elanna made a face. "Coach, what with everything… the boxing…"

"It's all right," he reassured her. "I get it. You've got other things to do right now. You can always come back to the ring when you have more time. Maybe by the time that you do I'll be back there, too."

She smiled. "Thanks, Coach."

He nodded. "I'm proud of you, B'Elanna."

Torres squirmed a little under his praise. "Dunno why. I'm the one who got you shot."

"No," he said, immediately. "That wasn't your fault. You hear me? It wasn't your fault and I won't let you think that it was."

B'Elanna let out a sigh. "That's exactly what Kathryn said."

Chakotay nodded. "She's a smart lady." B'Elanna opened her mouth to say something else, but he cut her off. "Don't. OK? There's no point. Now get out of here. It's nearly time for my lunchtime Jell-O."

[TBC]