Chapter 34: Wrecking

Mikey's POV:

I was sitting outside of the buses just thinking about the last two weeks. Gerard promised he would never drink again but now he is nearly always drunk and Frank is broken. I pull myself out of my thoughts when Ray comes up behind me and rubs my shoulders.

"Hey Mikey," Taylor S says walking up.

"Hi Taylor," I hear Ray respond and I wipe my eyes, "Hey guys."

"You ok bud?" Taylor asks me.

"Just thinking about everything." I admit.

"Frank's wanting to leave tour, any news on Gee?"

I shake my head, "I have been trying to avoid him if he is drunk."

Ray rubs my shoulders more, "Nova is the one dealing with Gee and his nightmares."

"Those two need each other more than they know and more than any of us realized." Taylor says shaking her head.

Ray moves his hand to my back, "I am honestly scared what this means for the band.. they can't even be in the same room together how are they gonna share the stage when Frank finally comes back?"

"I have a feeling Gee wants to apologize to Frank...I'm just worried Frank won't listen if he does." She says with a sigh.

Ray let's out a sigh as well, "Frank wouldn't listen, right now he will probably think its a lie.. He is working hard to get over Gee.. to the point he willingly called Gee's ex Lyn-Z."

Taylor sits in front of me and Ray moves to the side and sits down. I stay quiet as I listen to them. "He believes Gee meant that he didn't need the him or the band...That's how all this started. If we could just get Frankie to listen to reason, MAYBE this will work out."

I shake my head cutting in nearly in tears, "Yeah but see there, the problem is Gee needs me and I need him but he wont listen. He is supposed to be my big brother who listens."

"Your brother is just stubborn Mikey," Taylor sighs. "Give him time."

"I hope that is all he needs," I sigh leaning into Ray.

"You and me both," She says and we all sit there thinking.

Josh's POV:

I snuck out into the city this morning as a way to think. Tyler has been a wreck lately and I am struggling too with all that is going on with MCR. It scares me because, if it can happen to them what's stopping it from doing the same to my small two person band.

"Mind if I join you?" I hear a voice asks and I turn to see Jenn so I shrug. She stops me by putting a hand on my upper arm, "What's on your mind?"

"I guess I am just scared," I finally admit outloud.

"Want to talk about it? Get it off your chest?" She asks.

I sigh, "All of this stuff going down with MCR.. It worries me because I never thought of being a musician until them.. Now Tyler and I started our own and I don't want to lose him."

She nods, "Why don't you tell him your concerns, I know it seems hard. But trust me in this when I tell you it'll help."

"Because I am supposed to be the strong one in the band. Tyler depends on me."

"Sometimes those things get the best of us. To be strong sometimes means you have to let someone you're close to listen."

"I don't want him to think I am stupid.." I sigh. "These fears are irrational, we are close but thinking that a band that has been together for years can still fall apart.."

"Trust me, that's what Gee did. He kept it all to himself. It's a dangerous thing to do" She hugs me gently, "Whatever you do its gonna be okay."

"What would you do, Jenn?"

She stops and thinks for a second, "I would try to talk to him, try to understand what to do. If he cares like I know he does he'll want to help you."

I slump a little, "I'm not ready to go back."

She nods, "Well, why don't we get some pizza to get away for a little bit?"

I nod before taking off my hat and fixing my hair and putting it back on my head.

She smiles, "Hey, turn that frown upside down. That frown doesn't suit you."

I nod, "I know, Tyler says that all the time." I smile a little.

She starts to tickle me and I laugh, "Don't tease me with that smile."

I grab at her hands but that doesn't stop her so I pick her up tossing her over my shoulder.

She lets out a squeal, "Josh!"

"I will let you down if you promise not to tickle me."

"No promises."

I laugh, "I should have never let you walk with me."

"Yes you should've! Who can pass up free pizza!"

I sit her back down, "I don't even know where pizza is in this damn city."

"I do!" She shouts while grabbing my hand and takes off running. She laughs as I keep up and we run through the city to a small Pizza joint.

She pulls me inside, "So what do you want?"

"Uh Pepperoni."

She turns and orders 2 pepperoni and 2 sausage with a smile, "I eat a lot."

I laugh a little, "Good."

She shrugs, "Usually I am called fat."

"Better than the twigs that eat like a salad a week." She nods, "My sister was like that for a while."

"Well that's no good," She says as our order was called. She grabs the pizza and leads me upstairs to a room set up as a large living room. "Here's where I have been getting away from the drama."

"The pizza joint? Really?" I question.

"Well actually mostly this room but the pizza is a plus. Also nobody can get up here without permission so no wild fans."

I nod, "I guess it is smart." I smile. "I have been looking for a place to bring Tyler.. lately he has been having trouble writing with everything going on.." I look around, "If you don't mind, i would like to show him this place."

"Of course, if it can help then go right ahead."

Ray's POV:

The last two days have been more of a relapse for Frankie since the therapist took him off the medication until they can run some test. So I wasn't surprised to see him on the stage playing pansy in a slow melody. I grab my guitar knowing that Frank hates playing alone.

As I walk up too him he looks up through his longer bangs and I can see the pain in them. He stops playing once I start and he lays his head on my shoulder crying while I continue the same few notes he was playing a minute ago.

I hear someone come up behind us too play but chose to ignore her. "Frank do you wanna keep playing?" I ask and he chokes out a no so I change the tune to Welcome To The Black Parade.

I only get halfway through it before Frank slips and I stop playing to catch him and lower us to the floor. "Here you go," I hear a female say and I look up to see Kristie handing me a box of tissues.

I smile sadly, "Thanks." I give it to Frank and let him cry.

She shakes her head and sits down near us and hums as she rubs Frank's back. I move both of our guitars from the awkward place between us before I slowly stroke Frank's hair. He clutches onto my jeans and cries harder as Kristie continues to hum.

"I can't take it Ray," I hear him choke out. The sound of his voice alone admitting that brought tears to my eyes.

I wipe my eyes before I go back to stroking his hair, "I know buddy."

"I want to die Ray, I wanna die.." I choke out a sob I was holding back. Frank has always been strong, and pushed past this but now he is too broken to keep up the fighting anymore.

I shake my head as tears fall for the guy I view as a little brother, "I will get you help Frankie. I promise." My hands start to shake so I move Frank so I can stand up, "I need a minute Frankie,"

Frank's POV:

I finally stopped crying in time to open up too Ray about how I want to die. I knew it was much for him so I don't blame him for running off to stop from crying. Ray never cries so I feel bad for making him do that. I sit up and notice the girl who was rubbing my back, "I'm Sorry."

She shakes her head and hugs me, "You have nothing to be sorry for, just know you're not alone" She pulls away and holds my shoulders, "And if you need someone to talk to or just cry, I'm here, okay?"

"I am fine, I will be better after this concert tonight…"

She sighs, "You don't seem fine."

"I will be better," I said with a nod and then I give a chuckle. "Who needs him right?" I ask laughing again. "I am starving."

"Hey, why don't we grab some pizza? As a single's group?"

I nod, "Sounds good but can Ray come? He needs the break."

She smiles, "Of course he can. I know a great place to get away."

I nod and text Ray who meets us by the door. Kristie shows us too her car and we all get in, "So where are we going?"

"A small pizza place that I love!"

I nod, "Awesome! I like pizza."

She smiles, "This place is different." She turns out of the bus parking lot.

"How so?" Ray asks from the passenger seat.

"You will see," She says with a giggle as she drives us and we all get out infront of a tiny shop.

"This place is small!" I remark with a smile.

"The usual Lydia," She calls out with a smile and pull us up the stairs,"Just wait." She opens the door and we see a bed, couch, and TV upstairs,"Meet my hideaway spot. Lydia moves along with the tour to her shops all around the world."

Ray looks around, "How did you ever find this?"

"My mom used to know Lydia before she.. anyways. Lydia, will come and take over the shop while we're on tour. She comes to her big on in Jersey and that's basically it."

I nod and Ray looks out the window before asking what the usual means.

"A sausage and also a pepperoni pizza."

"Sounds good," I say plopping on the couch.

Ray looks at me quizically, "Frank you are a vegetarian."

"Lydia! Fix us a green?"Kristie shouts, and I hear a 'Coming right up!' Kristie smiles, "Problem solved!"

"No no I want to try the peperoni."

"That goes against your dieting wills." Kris says questioningly.

I shrug, "I wanna do something different. Now is the time for change!"

"Nevermind on the green!" She yells before sitting down. Ray takes a seat but keeps his eyes on me.

I sit for awhile before standing and walking around waiting on the pizza, "So is this food good? Because this is taking forever!"

"Sorry she is usually really busy at lunch."

I sigh, "So can I smoke in here?"

"I don't know. Never have seen anyone do it."

I grab one out of my pocket and set it in my mouth, "Damn I forgot my lighter."

"Catch!" Kris says before tossing me a pack of matches from the table.

I nod a thanks and step outside to enjoy my cig after I spent 5 minutes trying to light it with faulty matches. When I finally get back the food is there and it smells interesting. We all ate some pizza but after the one slice I wasn't feeling too good so I excuse myself and wait at the door for Ray. I could hear him, "Thanks Kristie, for a while he seemed like the old Frank."

I shake my head and walk off, I hate that I am changed and it affects everyone around me, or so it seems. Good thing I have a plan.

CC's POV:

I decided to visit Jinxx and Ashley at the apartment that they share right outside of L.A. That's when things finally started to hit me.

I hold tightly to Ashley's dog Roxy, Lucy was barking at the door but I didn't care I was worried about my friends. My Chemical Romance got me through a lot and getting to be on this tour with them was awesome, and then we became friends, and now they are falling apart. I'm trying to be happy for them and make them laugh but nothing is working I'm worried about Frank and Gee the most.

I look up a little when Jenn sits down and ruffles my hair, "Hey babe."

"Hi Jenn Jenn," I say half-heartedly.

She lays down next to me with a small frown, "You know I don't like my puppy's face all sad." I smile for her and she smiles back. "There is my CC!"

"Hey Jenn?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you worried?" I ask and I notice Ashley walk in.

She sighs, "Yeah." I hold the dog closer and she doesn't protest. Jenn kisses my cheek, "They will work it out, they always do."

"but its worse this time."

She nods, "Just give them time."

I sigh and she squeezes my hand as Ashley comes in, "Hey did you want to stay for dinner? CC is staying in Jinxx's room since Jinxx is staying on the bus. I am cooking."

She looks up at him, "Sure."

"DId you preheat?" I ask as Jenn hugs me.

He nods and we get up and sit down for a decent meal for the first time in a while.