Hello all, This is everyone's favorite Headmaster. You should all know me by now or at the very least my school, Beacon Academy. If you don't know me you probably should be watching that show made by Monty Oum (rest in peace Mr. Oum). He did his very best but never really showed my "Fun" side. He showed my Wise side exceptionally well and very accurately in fact I would say-
"Ozpin! Get on with this, I let you write this chapter I can uh… un-let you?"
Very true, but I was just explaining myself. I don't want them to think I am, as Ms. Xiao Long says, an ass."
"Just get on with this Ozpin."
"Very well, no accounting for taste I guess"
"Ozpin, I watch RWBY. Think about what you just said."
"…"
Anyway, Qrow was drunk when he wrote the last chapter and has lost chapter-writing privileges for a year (we'll see if that stops him). Therefore I have been elected to explain the goings on at Beacon when Raye finally arrived and was unceremoniously dragged out of my office by Ms. Xiao Long.
For anyone with half of an academic record, it should be quite clear what happened at the Training arena. Put simply, Yang Xiao Long does not understand what the differences are between training exercises and Mortal Combat. Having suspected this to be the case and not wanting to lose yet another lackey to Ms. Xiao Long's antics (Our turnover rate has increased tenfold since she arrived) I turned to Qrow to order him to watch over the two of them. Unfortunately for Glynda, Qrow was out cold, clearly in a coma from drinking alcohol instead of coffee. His lazy snoring almost made me bring out my secret magic marker, drawing on his face would both humiliate him, and teach him not to fall asleep in front of a man who, as a student, had pranked the previous headmaster and got away with it.
Needless to say I then turned to Glynda. "Glynda, please make sure that Ms. Xiao Long does not rip out the Manager's spine." I requested politely. Glynda turned and glared. The glare was so icy, and so fierce I wondered whether it was supposed to frighten me into redacting my request or wet myself for her pleasure. Knowing Glynda, probably both.
"Why me?" She snarled.
"We need him to walk to carry our bags when we actually visit the resort."
As a response Glynda pointed to her riding crop. Curse telekinesis.
"Would you like to carry everyone's bags?" I asked. Glynda huffed before storming out of the door. The true secret to getting Glynda to do what you ask is to threaten her with more work.
"Is that why she burned all your jackets the next day?" Raye asked sitting on a stool next to Ozpin and glancing as Ozpin used his computer.
"That was something else."
"So the revenge was when she mixed in animal waste with your coffee the next day." Raye quipped lightly.
Ozpin slammed his fist onto the desk
"I knew it tasted nutty…" He hissed.
"Back to the story Ozpin, needs to be done by tonight so I can grammar check it." Raye said cheerfully.
"You didn't grammar check Qrow's." Ozpin snarled
"And I got called by my real name once. Damn still need to fix that." Raye responded almost playfully, blatantly ignoring the death glares he was getting from Ozpin.
As I was saying, getting Glynda to do things is about making things seem like if she doesn't do what you say, she gets more work.
This generally works. This time however it did not. Instead, as she stormed out of the room she waved her riding crop. I felt myself be lifted out of my chair and dragged, upside down behind her.
"Glynda, are you per chance angry at me."
"Yes Ozpin I am." She said quickly as she strode through the hallway, ignoring the curious glances of students. I, in my infinite wisdom decided to sit cross-legged upside down and cross my arms. I hoped it made me seem like one of those Shaolin monks I saw on TV at Raye's house. If it didn't ah well, at least I still looked calm, cool and collected.
At least until Glynda dropped me on my head. That actually hurt a little.
In her great magnanimity she waited until a stood up before opening the door to the training room. Glynda walked in, completely prepared for what she would see before her.
" What a sec, Glynda sounds evil one second and you praise her the next?"
"it is as you say, what I do."
" I never said that. Are you hitting on Glynda again? She said she's castrate you if you did."
"Women like being paid compliments."
"Pretty sure that was not the time to pay her compliments. Especially not-"
"Shush! You'll ruin the surprise.
As I was saying, in her great magnanimity she waited until I stood up before opening the door to the training room. She strode in. However, in her speed she had lacked to check if the room was being used by a crazy blond boxer with shotguns on her arms rather than another huntress altogether, and perhaps for a very different purpose.
She froze as she heard grunting. She spun around and from my view of her by the entryway I saw her eyebrows shoot to the top of her forehead. Every nerve was on full alert. I paled as I saw Glynda's face turn a deep red.
"What's going on?" I ask walking up to her. The response was not what I expected.
"Deeper! Deeper!"
Either Glynda is an exceptional ventriloquist or that was not her. I thought.
"Velvet… I think…"
Hearing that I grab Glynda. I am in full panic mode. I take only a minute to look up, mostly to grasp the situation so that I could defuse it in true Hunter fashion.
There above us, body completely bare-
"Let's keep this clean for now Ozpin!"
"But Raye, I hear Lemons are great for attracting views."
"Not for this story!"
"Fine." Ozpin responds sulkily.
There was Velvet getting a very different kind of training done with her teammate Yatsuhashi. Needless to say I knew what to do right away. With a large smirk on my face I lifted up my left hand. Without looking I held out my hand in front of Glynda.
"Pay up."
Since Glynda's shriek could only be heard through roughly half of Beacon I would say I did an excellent job at diffusing the situation. The fact some of our students were doing "research for health class" (their words not mine) was something that would need to be addressed, but at the time being, a student getting some was of less importance than our vacation spot. I politely asked a partially dressed, blushing Velvet where Yang was. It seems we had entered the wrong training room and that Yang was currently pulling some poor sod's spine out by his throat (her words not mine). We exited quickly, and closed the door behind us.
"The nerve of some students." Glynda muttered still immensely furious at the fact that some students had needs that needed to be met right then and there.
"I recall a time when you were very much-" Glynda, for all her self control, lost it then. She did not shove me into a wall and instead used her heal to stomp on my foot. I hissed a number of profanities under my breath as I hopped on one foot, clutching the wounded body part in my hands.
"Mention that night again and Weiss Schnee will not have come up with a fitting punishment."
'It was more than just a night Glynda, I recall it going throughout the morning." I teased.
A quirk of her eyes was all the warning I needed.
"Very well Glynda, no more talking about it." I conceded. Glynda turned and walked fifteen steps, turning to open the correct training door.
Glynda opened the door in time to hear a shriek. I followed the flailing body with my eyes as it spun through the air and into (well more through) a wall.
"I told you to dodge!" Yang shouted, coming into view. Glynda groaned as she walked up to Raye. I glanced around the training room. Much of it seemed to still be in working order. The walls of the arena were In need of immediate repair, presumably Yang had had used Raye as a wrecking ball. She's learning restraint! Who said threating to cut her hair wouldn't help? I thought cheerfully
The arena was surrounded by chairs. My eyes zeroed in a brown beret, dangling from one of the chairs. I almost went to approach the beret and examine the presence nearby. However, the moans of Manager Raye, spine still (presumably) intact seemed to warrant more immediate attention.
"How is it going Mr Raye?" I asked pleasantly.
Raye moaned in response.
"Have you learnt anything?"
"Hair, big no-no." He muttered weakly.
"I think he has concussion." Glynda said lifting the boy up. "What did you do to him Ms. Xiao Long?"
"What the hell? I held back! I even let him punch me! It went well until I told him to try dodging."
"And what exactly happened?" I ask fearing the worst.
"He kept screwing up, eventually he even tried to counter attack, grabbed some hair." She said calmly. Shrugging she pointed at him. "I didn't do anything."
In other words a potentially worst case scenario.
"At least he didn't rip any of it out." Yang said.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. This could have been far, far worse.
"That was awesome Fox! I'm on top this time!" A voice near the brown beret said excitedly between pants.
I look at Glynda who is once again, furious. She stared like a vengeful beast in the direction the voice was coming from. Even worse her face was a deep purple color.
"Professor Goodwitch, are you sick or something?" Yang asked, mercifully not adding a bad pun to this already hellish situation.
"No Ms. Xiao Long but team CFVY might be…" Glynda hissed raising her riding crop, I saw the chairs in the back of the room start to lift. A slight shriek revealed the two other member of Team CFVY, in a similar position to Ms. Velvet Scarlatina and Mr Yatsuhashi Daichi. Yang, in an almost amusing twist of fate started to get a nosebleed.
I rested my head in my hands. Correction: this just got a hell of a lot worse.
I was fortunate enough to convince Glynda to leave with Raye and Yang and go to the Medical center. Of course that left me With Ms. Coco Adel and Mr Fox Alistair.
"Ms. Adel, Mr. Alistair, what exactly were you doing?" I asked rhetorically.
"Research for health class?" Ms Adel responded weakly. I groaned,
"This is why I need a vacation." I muttered
"With all due respect I don't think there was a good answer to that question Ozpin." Raye says weakly.
"Anything could have been better than that."
"Would I'm screwing my teammate in the middle of a training arena while I know a student and another person I don't know are actively sparring have been better?"
"I wouldn't call what was happening sparring."
"Is that seriously what you are debating?"
"I can't exactly stop my students libido."
'What did you do?"
"Told them they could do it like rabbits if they wanted to, but just in their room."
"You do know that Velvet is a rabbit faunus right? What if they had been offended?"
"…"
"Ozpin?"
"It just explains so much…"
"Like what?" Raye asked completely confused.
"12 kids…"
"Wait… they aren't coming with the rest of Team CFVY next week are they?"
"Maybe..."
"Damnit Ozpin!"
-After technical difficulties resulting from Raye from trying to kill Ozpin with a stool-
And we are back. I apologize, but it seems Raye went into temporary insanity after I jokingly told him team CFVY was bringing their children along when they come on the trip to Earth in a couple of days. I thought it was a funny joke since they don't have kids, he disagreed, seems he didn't know we actually had a health class at Beacon to teach kids things like safe sex. We are a school after all.
Anyway, in case you are concerned, he should be fine by the time he is able to remove himself from the wall. I think I hear him laughing, it seems he finally got the joke. Oh there are tears, maybe he's crying, I simply can't tell with him, his laughing and crying sound so similar to each other.
Anyway back to over a year ago.
Glynda and I looked at Raye in his bed. Yang unfortunately was with us.
"Well isn't he just a raye of sunshine." She said, trying to waggle her eyebrows. A single glare from Glynda shut her horrible puns down quickly.
"Not funny Ms. Xiao Long." Glynda chastised. She was pissed. She was very pissed. Why was I in this room with a pissed off Glynda? Why the answer was quite simple.
She had still yet to pay up.
"Now Glynda, about our bets regarding Team CFVY…" I began. Glynda held up her hand. She sighed in defeat.
"Later Ozpin. Currently we have a badly injured Manager for a resort that is about to open in a few days. And I have still yet to purchase the property."
At that, my eyebrows shot up. I have to admit I was surprised.
"But you have the paperwork done right?"
"No."
"You hired a landlord?"
"No."
"You know how much it will be?"
"Ozpin I swear, ask one more question and you will regret it."
"Are you sure you don't need some stress relief?"
Glynda glared at me, slowly a Cheshire grin appeared on her face. I felt myself shiver. Glynda scowled, nightmarish-evil-deputy-headmistress-who-was-about-to- ruin-my-day smiled. I still request Glynda get a psychological check every year for a split personality disorder. She always comes back clean. She never tells me how she cheats on those tests. I failed every single one.
"In fact Ozpin, I might. However, I have my own ways of getting it none of which require you." She said almost purring at the very idea forming in her head. I immediately regretted my questions. But I had one more I needed to ask.
"Should I presume we're leaving it all up to him?" I asked pointing at Raye's limp, unconscious form. Glynda nodded briskly before storming off. I don't know where she went, but clearly it was a place better for my health than where she was a moment ago, that is, right next to me.
'I don't think teasing Glynda is a good idea." Raye muttered.
"Four Maidens of Remnant! Don't scare me like that!" I exclaimed. I had almost jumped out of my skin. Apparently this son of a gun had been awake the entire time. Not only that he had gotten the jump on me! Me! I'll swap Yang's shampoo and say he did it, that should be a valid punishment for this guy. I thought mischievously.
"That was you!?"
"Now I never said I went through with it."
"She put me in the E.R.!"
"Not my fault you cant take a punch."
"She dropped a truck on me! It's a miracle I'm alive!"
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
"Sorry, thought you guys might want me to not interrupt." Raye said quietly. He shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He had been heavily bandaged several IVs in his arm. Not surprising for someone who had just gotten punched into next week by Yang Xiao Long,
"So tell me about my job." Raye said.
"Finally warming to the idea?" I asked, a thin smile on my lips.
"No, but I don't want to die either. Might as well deal with what I can."
"There is plenty to discuss." I said. "You will be dealing with all the visitors."
"Like who?"
"Hunters mostly from beacon." I said shrugging. "Like team RWBY, JNPR and CFVY"
"Oh." Raye said shrinking slightly. "Just to double check, I don't have to pay for damages right?" he asked chuckling.
I broke out into a sweat, I didn't want to tell him the wrong thing but I didn't have the paperwork!
The irony, when I don't want paperwork I have stacks of it, but when I need the paperwork it is nowhere to be found.
"Perhaps you should discuss the contractual stuff with Glynda. She has… a uh… degree in that sort of thing." I said quickly shifting my footing in an admittedly nervous fashion.
Raye, somehow, seemed to notice my discomfort. 'Glynda does the heavy lifting in your relationship?" he asked, raising and eyebrow and seemed amused with himself.
"We are not in a relationship." I respond quickly.
"Ok." He responds, dropping the subject.
The following uncomfortable silence is stifling. Anything to stop this awkwardness, anything. I think, shifting uncomfortably. It is then that I hear a sensual moan. Raye looks at me, jutting his thumb towards the connected room.
"In the nurses office?" He asks. I hide my face behind my hand, this was not how I wished to introduce him to Beacon Academy.
"How old are these kids?"
"Mostly above the age of consent."
"Mostly?"
"Don't ask…" I respond.
The sound of a creaking bed and the moaning get louder.
"Well when they are constantly risking their lives this shouldn't be much of a surprise." He said quickly an awkward smile on his face.
"…"
"This is awkward, can I please leave?"
"The room or Beacon?"
"The room." He responds quickly, clearly cutting his losses.
"Right this way." I say. Raye gets out of bed, his arm is in a sling and he has a slight limp. None of this stops him from bolting out the door. As a shriek comes from the next room over. It seems I was not the only professor to hear the… ah… commotion.
"Go Glynda!" I shout before leaving quickly, hedging my bets. She still needed to pay up for the Team CFVY bets. Please let it be Blake and Yang, Please let it be Blake and Yang, I pray.
Turns out, it was not "Bumbleby" as we had been calling that betting pool. Ah well no winnings for me. Though Oobleck did win quite a bit off of Glynda. It seems there were betting pools even I didn't know about.
The next two weeks passed quite monotonously. Other than me having to make an incredibly awkward announcement for students to remain fully clothed outside of their rooms and then another to explain what I meant by "Fully clothed" thanks to Team CFVY's ingenuity, the next two weeks went smoothly. I actually had time to enjoy myself. By that I mean watch Raye get the stuffing beaten out of him by Ms. Xiao Long. He had yet to meet the rest of team RWBY but that would change in less than a day.
That lead up to the fateful meeting with Team RWBY and a new course on stealth and adaptive disguises (Please note that the original name of the brief class was "Blending in") Raye insisted on it after Yang commented she was ready to wreck a few clubs on earth.
The announcement of a new resort, as well as the inaugural visit by Team RWBY and Glynda, unsurprisingly, started several new betting pools. The first was how long it would take before Yang Xiao Long dragged her team to a club (I bet three hours, Glynda bet a day).
The next was whether Glynda would get drunk. I put 300 Lien on yes, Glynda put 1000 on no. Unbeknownst to her I also bet an extra 50 Lien on her trying to hook up with the Manager while she was drunk.
"Must have cried when you lost that one."
"Not really, I only lost 50 lien. Port was a wreck he lost half his savings on it."
"How many betting pools involve me?"
"On what subject?"
"Huh?"
"There's shipping, survival, first times and several other categories."
"That many?"
"Yes."
"Can I get in on some of them?"
"I might be able to pull some strings…" Ozpin said mischievously
"And what would I have to do?" Raye asked partially dreading the answer.
Ozpin leaned in and whispered into his ear. Raye stood bolt upright his face drained of color and expressing a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Nope, no way. That is…"
"Kinky?"
"I think depraved would be a better word." Raye deadpanned.
"Think about it, I already have 5000 lien riding on it."
"You need help." Raye said.
"She is a bombshell." Ozpin argued, eyes waggling.
Raye simply shook his head. He pointed at the computer "get back to the story." He said before walking out of the apartment. "Write anything above PG13 while I'm gone and you die a slow horrible death."
Anyway. There are plenty of other betting pools, maybe I will list a few of the more mild ones at the end of the chapter. But now back to what was going on with Raye.
He stood in my office pacing back and forth, Glynda drilling him on specific provisions of the contract he was about to sign. He was answering it all perfectly, somewhat surprising after three concussions in two weeks.
"Glynda, I think the boy understands what he's getting into."
"Threatened into more like." Glydna snarled. She had clearly not had a good time in the past week.
"We could always stop, not get the resort." I proposed jokingly. Raye stopped pacing and turned to look at me. I saw hope in his eyes.
"Of course that will mean Glynda, that you don't get any vacation time." I finished.
"No! I need out of here!" Glynda gasped horror at the very prospect of not getting away from beacon for a few days claiming whatever hold her conscious had over her.
Raye's face fell and his hope was carried away by a nevermore to feed its ravenous children.
"Let's get this over with." He said, approaching my desk.
On my desk was a pile of documents, all of which were his contract. If he signed at the dotted line he would officially be an employee of Beacon academy with all the rights and privileges such a position held.
The fact that he would also get a stipend of only ten lien a month was just a the case of me erasing few zeros before I printed the contract. Lowest academic salary ever!
Little did I know, the money I saved on his normally very large salary would mostly go towards repairing the apartment and doing some light remodeling. A large amount would also go towards bribing or threatening a variety of bureaucrats because someone (Glynda) didn't get the zoning changes completed in time.
"Now pleas ecut yoru finger, this must be signed in your own blood." I said in a grim voice.
Raye looked at me his eyes matching my gaze. "No." He said.
"When did you grow a spine?" Qrow asked as he walked in. Raye turned to look.
"Probably sometime after your niece ripped my actual spine out." He snarked.
"How are you standing then?" Qrow asked in all seriousness.
There was an awkward silence. Glynda groaned and Raye shook his head in disappointment.
"What? Did I miss something?" Qrow asked after a few seconds.
"Everything Qrow. Everything." Glynda muttered.
"So the gang's all here. Time to sign." I said quickly, trying to change the subject.
"Where's Salem? Isn't she part of this deal?" Raye asked.
I stiffened trying to find an excuse. Glynda gave me her signature glare.
"Ozpin, You did notify her right? She did say she wanted to be here."
"Well I may have…uh…"
Okay, in all honesty I did call Salem. I did call in that I did dial the number and press the call button, the fact that I immediately hung up without leaving a message shouldn't matter. It's not a lie, just omitting pertinent information right?
Right?
"You called but didn't leave a message didn't you?" Glynda asked me.
I bowed my head in shame. Generally she doesn't get as angry when I'm not grinning at her face.
Glynda sighed before quickly dialing Salem's number.
"Salem, It's Glynda, Raye's about to sign… Raye is the name we came up for the manager. Hiding his real name is… Well if he wants to tell you what it is he can… Salem, please don't argue just come."
"Okay!" Salem said in a creepily cheerful voice behind me.
For the second time in two weeks I almost jumped out of my skin. I spun my chair around to look at Salem. She was as creepy as ever, but at least seemed to be in a good mood.
"You are so easy to get the jump on Ozpin." She said walking round my desk and towards Raye.
"Hello." She said politely. Raye was clearly as unnerved as I was.
"Uh…ah… hello." He said shifting uncomfortably as he stood.
Salem turned to Glynda "You bought the building right?"
"Yes. We are currently going to use the empty apartments. There are four."
Salem rolled her eyes. "Just evict the current renters, It isn't that hard."
"It is much more difficult-"
"Then let me do it." Salem responded darkly.
"With all due respect… several other JET's live in that building, evicting them and not me would cause a lot of suspicion." Raye quickly pointed out.
Salem shrugged "That isn't my problem. My subordinates need space."
"Having the police investigate won't help, and the JET's contracted to those apartments are hired by the government." Raye argued. "That means a lot of problems with the government bureaucracy when you kick them out."
It was clear to my wise and experienced (not to mention brilliant) mind that Raye did not want to live alone amongst group of hunters. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why. It would be the safest apartment building he had ever been in!
The argument continued for a while, eventually Glynda promised to work it all out.
"Fine then. Remind me of the rules of our agreement." Salem commanded. Glynda opened her mouth "Ozpin.' Salem said turning to me.
"Well…" I began leaning slightly to look at Glynda. To her credit she immediately began to pantomime. I got the message.
" Raye is the manager, In effect he makes the rules and renders judgment on site." I began confidently. Another glance at Glynda gave me the next part "His job is to maintain the site and help those there relax. This is a second job for him so the guests are expected to behave."
Glynda began making an X with her arms. I squinted to try to understand what she was pantomiming something about a bear it seemed, maybe a sloth?
"Of course weapons are allowed, as the guests may need to defend themselves."
Raye slapped his own face as he went slackjawed.
"Damages will be paid by either you or me, depending on whose subordinates did the damage, if responsibility cannot be decided it will be paid by both of us."
Raye fiercely nodded. Maybe this wasn't so hard.
"The guests may do as they wish within legal boundaries. That means no killing or maiming, at the resort."
Raye gave a sigh of relief. Clearly I was getting this right.
"What about room designations?" Salem asked.
"up to the Manager." I responded calmly.
"And arbitration if necessary?"
"Again, up to Raye."
"If he is… biased?" Salem asked, a thin smile on her lips. I glanced at Glynda she shrugged. Damnit Glynda! I need help here what use are you as a Personal Assistant er… Deputy headmistress if you can't help me with a simple deal like this? I thought furiously, I mentally apologized when Glynda glared at me. I wondered if she was also a mind reader.
"Let's cross that bridge when we get there." I responded. Salem shrugged.
"Hypothetically, if one of my Subordinates was… attracted to the manager would there be a problem?"
It seems that there was more to that question than met the eye, as Glynda and Raye started to furiously nod. Raye was flailing. I nod and grin making mild gesture. he starts to panic getting on his knees and getting into a praying position. I chuckled to myself, they had clearly made a bet together that Raye would not get together with anyone, well, I certainly couldn't let them win that one, not when they were so obvious about it. The question was how to flip it on them without me getting sued for sexual harassment?
A thought came into my mind and I smiled.
"It's no problem at all, of course it's also not a problem as long as they're of age, same goes for the students at Beacon."
Salem looked a little surprised, Glynda was slamming her head into a wall and Raye was, and I am not joking, slamming his fists on the ground sobbing. I like to think they were tears of joy, Rather than "tears of frustration at my unenviable stupidity" (Glynda's words).
"Well, let's get this signed." Salem says. Raye took a few seconds to compose himself before walking over to my desk.
"Ozpin, I will have my revenge for that. I do not want nor need Yang Xiao Long thinking she can dodge out of things by flirting with me!" he hissed as he signed.
"I said it wasn't a problem if they were attracted to you." I argued. I never said they could attempt to seduce him but, if one thing led to another who was I to complain, with this, I could start new betting pools!
"Have you never heard of reading between the lines Ozpin?"
I shrugged. Raye groaned but sullenly wrote his name on the contract. Salem and I wrote ours below. It was binding and severe penalties were attached to breaking the rules in this contract. Of course, how to enforce those penalties were not something we had discussed.
Ah well there's time for that later.
Now as promised, several of the bets revolving around Raye, I will list the five most mild, as currently Raye is requesting to borrow Crescent Rose from Ruby for some reason. And since he tried to kill me (admittedly with a wooden stool LOL) less than an hour ago I think it is in my best interests not to list anything close to the one I whispered in his ear.
To note there are currently about 100 different bets open on Raye. If you want in simply email me with all your credit card info, Email password and (if American) Social security number at: OzpinRocksxxx .edu
1: Raye hooks up with a teacher from Beacon.
Bets)
Ozpin 1000 lien
Oobleck 700 lien
Port 1300 lien
2: Raye does not get a date
Glynda, 40 lien
Oobleck 300 lien
Yatsuhashi Daichi: 20 lien
3: Raye dies before the end of his second year.
Salem 400 Lien (I have notified salem that she loses the bet if any of her subordinates kill him, she ahs since tried to pull out of the bet)
Weiss Schnee 90 lien
Cradin Winchester 62 lien
4: Yang Xiao Long gives Raye and embarrassing nickname with a flirty double entendre (bet finished)
yes: Ozpin 3000 Lien
Jaune Arc 15 lien
No: Ruby Rose 10 cookies (I didn't know we could use those as bets)
Long XiaoYang 1500 Lien (I didn't know we had a student by that name I will have to look into that)
The No's won that one to everyone's surprise but Yang Xiao Long…
I really should have seen that one coming.
5: My personal favorite one that will definitely fail.
Raye X Cinder
No's.
Glynda 100 Lien
Ozpin 600 Lien
Port 500 Lien
Oobleck 700 Lien
Yes
Salem 600 Lien
Cinder 500 Lien
Mercury 300 lien (doubled down recently to 600 Lien)
Emerald 300 lien
That's all for now. Start betting! there is no cheating allowed unless you are a hunter, headmaster and your name is Ozpin. If it is please give me all your personal information so I can hunt you down, the only one allowed to cheat is me!
Authors note: So this came out a lot faster than I expected. And the chapter went so far off the outline, so quickly I ended up ignoring it. There is an omake at the bottom. For what happened in the nurses office. If you need more of the joke explained I obviously failed at making it even mildly amusing. Also that Email is not valid please don't send anything to it.
A lot of this Ozpin is inspired by Coeur Al'Aran's Professor Arc Ozpin and the Ozpin from Big brother Ozpin by Arrancon. They both are incredibly funny stories so please read them if you haven't already!.
Now for Review responses (YAY Reviews!)
hirshja: Huzzah! I glad you find it hilarious! Clearly I am doing something right in this insanity.
Dark holt : Your suggestion has been noted, and gave me A TON of good ideas. Props for that! We will see roman, perhaps later than desired, but he and Cinder are coming.
So here's my offer for you guys. If I get one new review in a chapter I will write an omake for that chapter. Content does not matter. Positive responses, constructive criticism, you name it I love reviews.
As this month's reward for TWO reviews I have set up a poll, it will help me decide the order for "who" writes the RWBY Chapters. Every member will get a turn but what do they do first? Bust up a club (and get arrested)? Buy a department store (and drive it into bankruptcy)? Raid a famous bakery (and once again, get arrested)? Or settle down in a bookstore (if only it were as calm as it sounded)? or something else entirely? leave your ideas in a review or PM me, Vote on who goes first in the poll.
My promise: No reviews? no problem! You will still get a chapter every month. Holding a fic ransom is cruel, and is something I refuse to do.
Next chapter is from Glynda. We'll be back in Japan, RWBY will be arriving and they are bringing two unexpected guests!
Now for the promised omake. I wonder why Glynda gave Oobleck money?
Omake:
"Yang this isn't going to get him back in the arena faster." Blake argued crossing her arms. She looked down at Yang struggling to connect the DVD player to the old, dusty hospital TV.
"A little TV helps everyone. Especially with what I am going to show him!" Yang said with a smile and a waggle of her eyebrows.
"And what are you going to show him?" Blake asked.
"Well, since I almost beat the crap out of him a few minutes ago he must be extremely stressed."
"So?"
"So what is something at helps people relax after a lot of stress?"
"Books?" Blake hazarded a guess.
"No Blake, something more important. More dramatic." Yang said waving her arms.
"Action movies are not relaxing yang." Blake said.
"I know that!"
"You only have action movies. So if your not making him watch an action movie what are you making him watch?"
"Something I found." Yang says vaguely.
"Where?" Blake asks apprehensively as she watches Yang put a DVD into the player and then begin playing it on the TV. Yang maxed out the sound.
Blake almost shrieked as she saw the opening Title:
Ninjas of Love: triple X edition
"Yang! You took that from my-" She couldn't finish her sentence as Yang placed her hand over Blake's mouth. Blake struggled to get away tripping over her own feet in her fury.
"Shh kitty-cat, It's not a big deal." Blake snatched the TV remote.
"I won't let you do this to him! He doesn't need to be traumatized." She hissed, backing towards the bed. Yang smiled.
"I need that remote!" She said, tackling Blake and pinning her onto the Hospital bed. They struggled over the remote, ignoring the moans coming from the TV. They scrambled over the Remote long enough to ignore Professor Oobleck and Glynda Goodwitch walk by.
"What is going on?" Glynda shrieked. Blake and Yang froze. Yang was on top of Blake, on a hospital bed; their clothes and hair messy. Both were sweating from attempting to grab the remote and in the background was a full on Porn movie.
"Research for Health class?" Yang suggested weakly.
""Exceptional! Research is the most critical part of academia! Please do continue!" Came an excited voice from behind Glynda. Then he turned to a red faced, apparently unhinged looking Glynda. "I told you the health class would inspire more research. Pay up."
Glynda's scream could be heard throughout Beacon.
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