My Heart in Your Hands
Summary: After Rafe walks up to them being sweet and intimate and blows up. This is what I think should have happened. Starts in the scene after Olivia and Emma leave. Cannon until it's not
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I do not make any profit from this. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.
Chapter 3
An hour later they had all Emma's things back in her room and she was sorting and unpacking her boxes while Olivia argued with the mover. "These things go in that room." She was exasperated and pointing to her old room
The guy just shook his head. "You told us to do whatever the lady said and she said they go in that room." He said pointing to Natalia's room.
Natalia came up the stair then and moved in beside Olivia. "What's the matter love?"
Olivia threw her hands up. "This guy will not listen and put the boxes in my room." She said once again pointing to her old room.
Natalia smiled and turned to the mover. "Can you give us just a minute please?" Then grabbed Olivia and pulled her into her room and closing the door.
She moved in close and wrapped her arms around her. "When we talked about you moving in we said this time you'd me moving in. As in us together, look around baby."
Olivia looked around and noticed the bed was different and her old furniture was there and the closet was half empty. She looked back to Natalia with so much hope and love in her eyes it almost brought her to tears. "I want you here with me love. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up with you every morning. That is if that's what you want too."
Olivia pulled her in closer and kissed her almost savagely before letting her go. "Of course that's what I want, thank you baby."
Natalia smile up at her. "You don't have to thank me. I love you and need you here with me from now on. Now, we need to let these movers finish up so we can get you all settled and they can go home."
Olivia kissed her softly one last time and they opened the door to let a smirking mover deposit her things in there. She chose to ignore him and just set about getting things done.
The movers left an hour later and Olivia stayed in their room and unpacked her things. Natalia went to help Emma than downstairs to do the rest. They only paused for dinner and finished up around 9:00.
Emma said they had to smash all the boxes and not save them because they were home for good. They agreed and it became a game. Emma collapsed on the couch after smashing the last box. "I think it's time for a movie night."
Natalia smiled and shook her head. "Oh no, it's time for a bath and bed. Go on up and I'll be there in a minute."
Emma groaned and rolled off the couch. "Ok Ma but can we have a movie night tomorrow? We didn't get one last night or tonight."
Olivia looked up from her own place on the couch. "We'll see. We don't know what is going on with Rafe yet or if we will need to do anything else."
She just nodded tiredly and made her way up the stairs. Olivia looked up at Natalia who was standing in front of her watching Emma go up. Once she was out of sight she pulled her down into her lap. "Olivia!"
She quieted her protest capturing her lips slow and tenderly. Natalia melted and sighed into the kiss. When they broke apart Natalia caressed her face kissing her chin. "I swear I'll never get tired of kissing you."
Olivia chuckled turning her head to kiss her palm lightly. "I have to say that makes me extremely happy since I am addicted to you already."
Natalia leaned in again but they ended up laughing instead when Emma called down for help. She pecked her lips and stood "To be continued. I'm going to help Emma why don't you get a shower than I'll get one when you're done while you read to her."
Olivia stood and followed her up the stairs pausing to kiss Emma's head and Natalia's cheek on her way to their bathroom. After her shower she went to tuck Emma in and read her a story and Natalia headed off to shower herself.
As she stood and let the hot water cascade down her achy body she thought of the past few days. She and Olivia had had an honest conversation of where they wanted their relationship to go and started moving in that direction. Rafe finally knows about them, though the way he found out could have been better. He didn't take it well and she still needed to talk to him again tomorrow and bring him home.
She had finally asked Olivia and Emma to come home and they were settled and unpacked. She was more than happy with her life right now. The only thing that would make it better is for Rafe to come home and accept them and she had faith that with time he would come around. She knew her son.
She finished up with her shower, dressed and headed back to her room. Olivia hadn't made it back to their room yet and she didn't want to get in bed without her so she walked over and looked out of the window toward the pond. She wondered if they could build a little gazebo by their pond to enjoy this summer for picnics. Emma would no doubt love it and it would be a wonderful place to cuddle with Olivia to watch their baby play and feed the ducks.
She smiled as a set of arms wrapped around her from behind. Olivia kissed her neck softly. "You're thinking too loud angel, I could hear you down the hall. Is everything ok, you looked so lost in thought there when I came in?"
Natalia leaned into her turning her head to kiss her cheek. "Everything is perfectly fine honey. I was just thinking that a small gazebo would be a nice addition to the pond. Somewhere we can snuggle together to watch Em with her ducks."
Olivia smiled, "I like that, maybe one with padded benches or some of those patio couches instead. We'll look into it." She leaned down and kissed her shoulder, up neck to her ear and back down her jaw.
Natalia tilted her head giving better access. "God your lips feel so good on my skin." She groaned and smiled. "See, this is why I waited so long to kiss you."
Olivia stopped kissing her and turned her slightly. "What do you mean?"
Turning fully in Olivia's arms she put hers around her neck. "I knew that once I felt your lips against mine again but for real, I would want to feel them as often as possible. We kissed for the first time yesterday and already I can't imagine not kissing you every chance I get. If I had kissed you before there is no way we would have kept things a secret from anyone as long as we did." She rose up and kissed Olivia deeply. "They're intoxicating. I knew just staring at them they would be"
Olivia moaned into the kiss then smiled. "You're probably right. I think it would have a hard time not kissing you when the whim hit. Does this mean I can kiss you anytime I want now?"
Natalia pecked her lips lightly. "I don't think at work in to middle of a meeting would be appropriate but yes because I'm not going to not kiss you if I get the need to because we are in Towers or the park. I love you and I don't care who knows it."
Olivia rested their foreheads together and sighed happily. "I love you too. I'm so happy right now honey but I'm scare."
Natalia looked into her eyes. "What's scaring you baby?"
Olivia shrugged slightly looking away, "the other shoe dropping. All my life when good things come to me something happens and the other shoe drops and I lose it. I don't think I'll survive losing you Natalia. I've never felt this way for another person ever and I'm so scared of losing you."
Natalia lifted her chin and nuzzled her nose. "You're not going to lose me Olivia and it's not true. You don't always lose the good things in your life. You have the Beacon that is thriving and ready to be expanded on. You have Emma and Ava, awesome friends like Buzz and Lillian."
Olivia sighed. "Yes but I have had to fight so hard to have those things. Hell I'm still fighting for some of it. Ava's gone and Alan is always trying to take Emma from me. The Beacon is good but you never know what is going to happen…"
Natalia took her took her face in her hands. "Then fight for me Olivia, fight for us because I sure as hell plan on fighting for you. Ava is ok and you still have her she's just trying to find herself right now but she's doing well. The Beacon Is fine but if something happens and you lose it tomorrow we would figure something out. We are both resourceful people, we'd be ok."
She pulled her in and the kiss was so sweet and full of love it brought tears to Olivia's eyes. She pulled back after a few moments and kissed away Olivia's tears. "Stop fearing what hasn't happened baby and just enjoy what we have. Just love me and know that no matter what happens in the future we will fight together to keep what he have and I will never willingly let you go."
Olivia sobbed out as she pushed back in and desperately took Natalia's mouth. Natalia just held on and gave back all she was given. Olivia tilted her head more slowing the kiss as she deepened it. Natalia moaned into her mouth and buried her hands in her hair. Olivia's hands started to roam and she ran them up her back and then down over soft luscious globes pulling their hips together.
They both moaned at the contact and pulled away panting. "Olivia… you… that… Jesus…" She growled and dove back in kissing Olivia for all she was worth.
Olivia wasn't complaining as she returned the kiss and pulled her hips close again while tuning them. She guided Natalia back toward the bed and only stopped when the back of her knees hit the bed. Pushing forward gently she lay her down and followed her on to their bed never breaking the kiss.
Once she was hovering above her finally releasing her lips just looking into her eyes. "God you are so beautiful Natalia."
Natalia blushed and rose up enough to take her lips slowly pulling Olivia down fully. "I always feel beautiful when you look at me like that. I love you so much."
Olivia tried to not rest all her weight on her but Natalia wouldn't let her move too much. "I'm gonna crush you."
Natalia shook her head holding on tightly. "No, I want to feel you, please Liv."
She immediately relaxed and kissed her chastely as she ran her hands up her sides. "We really should try and get so sleep."
Natalia looked up at her incredulously causing her to chuckle. "I want to you so much right now," she kissed her softly, "but I really want our first time to be special baby."
Natalia smiled. "It will be because it's us honey. All I need is you here with me."
Olivia sighed and buried her face in Natalia's neck. "I know but I want it to be just me and you for our first. I mean I love our children I just want to be able to take my time with you." kissing her neck she rose up. "I don't want the risk of someone walking in. I want to devour you with nothing getting in the way."
Natalia groaned at the thought of being devoured than smiled up at her adoringly. "What did you have in mind?"
Olivia grinned. "I was thinking maybe next weekend, Emma going with Jody after school Friday night and Saturday to go to a carnival outside of Bloomington. She won't be home until Sunday after noon. I want to take you away. You're off work until Next Monday and I can take off Friday. We can leave after Emma leaves for school."
Natalia thought for a moment. "I think I like this plan," pulling her in again she softly took her lips and just explored her mouth for a bit. "Are you sure you don't need me to come back this week? Rafe starts work Monday so I really don't need to be here for him."
She shook her head and shifted to lie alongside of her. "No, you took these two weeks to get him settled and take a moment for yourself. Now, if you just want to come back because you are so bored and miss me so much I will not tell you no. That's up to you honey."
Natalia rolled with her leaning on her elbow with her head in her hand looking down at her. "So, tomorrow I bring home our son, this week I help him get settled and come back to work early if I get overwhelmed by missing you and Friday we are going where for the weekend?"
Olivia chuckled. "That my love is a surprise."
Natalia huffed but her smile betrayed her annoyance. "Fine, ok then we spend the weekend away and come back Sunday in time for Emma to get home."
"I can get us back in time for church services honey. We'll just leave a little early."
She shrugged, "I haven't been going. I'm looking for another church. I've been just spending an hour on Sunday with my bible and prayer. I think I found a new one that I was going to try tomorrow before I go talk to Rafe."
"Why did you stop going?" She was ready to tear someone apart if they upset her.
Natalia sighed. "I'm just tired of Father Ray and I want to worship somewhere that accepts my family. The last time I went Emma was with me and he lectured me about corrupting our daughter with our lifestyle. I haven't been back since. I can worship God and have my faith and not be catholic or agree with all the teachings."
Olivia shook her head. "I hate that you're losing your church because of me."
Natalia leaned down and kissed her nose. "I am not losing anything honey I'm just changing churches."
"You told me half of what you love about the church was the fellowship of the other people that were there with you."
Natalia chuckled. "There will be people at the new church Liv. I'll just have to work with some new people on some new committees and maybe meet some other couples like us or at least accept us. I promise you I am not losing anything. God loves me and I will find somewhere I am more comfortable worshiping."
Olivia thought for a moment. "Ok, tomorrow we will go with you to the new church. Then next Sunday if you like it there and want to go back we will leave early enough for us to make it to services. We can bring a set of dress clothes with us and I'll go with you."
Natalia looked shocked. "Oh Liv, you don't have too. I know how uncomfortable it all makes you."
Olivia put a finger to her mouth to stop her. "My mother's religion, how she worshiped and raised us to think about god is what makes me uncomfortable. Her God was about fear. You are showing me that wasn't right. You showed me that God is about love and I want to go with you and see that it can be better. I want to share my life with you and for you to share yours with me. That includes your faith. I see how much Emma enjoys going with you. How much it means to you and I want to share that part of you too."
Natalia hugged her tightly with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, but promise me if it makes you too uncomfortable you won't force yourself to go because of me."
Olivia nodded and they shared another kiss. Natalia rolled to turn off the lamp and laid her head on Olivia's chest settling in with a contented sigh. "You make me so happy Olivia."
Olivia smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You make me happy too. I love you so much." She held her close as she felt and heard her breathing even out. "Goodnight sweetheart."
Natalia breathed into her neck and groggily answered. "Goodnight, I love you" then she was out for the night.
Olivia followed shortly after with a contented smile on her face. Dealing with bringing Rafe home tomorrow and helping him understand that she really did love his mother was going to be a challenge. It would be hard but she was willing to fight for Natalia and their family and that included their very headstrong boy. She knew if he just gave her a chance she could prove herself to him. She just hoped he was willing.