My Heart In Your Hands
Summary: After Rafe walks up to them being sweet and intimate and blows up. This is what I think should have happened.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I do not make any profit from this.
A/N: I know this has taken forever to be updated and I'm sorry for that. I have my good and bad days but I'm not giving up my stories. I love writing and I hope to continue of for many many stories to come.
Chapter 11
The next morning once they got the kids off to work and school telling them goodbye for the weekend they packed up the car and headed to Cedars to see Rick. Sitting on the exam table Olivia started to get nervous. They had already done all of the test she needed done and we're waiting for the result.
She couldn't get the thoughts out of her head telling her that she was not going to be able to take Natalia away for their weekend. She sighed and looked down.
Natalia looked over from the magazine she was reading concerned. "Ok that was the third sigh from you in the last few minutes. What's wrong baby?"
Standing she moved over and stood in front of Olivia and Olivia burrowed in to her embrace. "I don't know, I'm just worried about what he is going to say."
Lifting her head Natalia made eye contact with her. "Why, have you been feeling worse than you've been telling me?"
Shaking her head she kissed her chin. "Of course not. I would never keep something like that from you. I'm just worried that he's going to tell me we can't go out of town this weekend."
Natalia smiled and lovingly caressed her face. "If we have to stay in town we can just go to the Beacon or stay home. We still have the house empty until late tomorrow night."
"I know but what if he say's we have to wait? I'm about to explode over here and I know you are too."
"If we have to wait we have to wait. Your health is more important than our libidos. It won't be forever Liv."
Olivia smirked and pulled her closer burying her head in Natalia's neck. "But I don't want to wait anymore." She bit down on her pulse point and groaned as Natalia moaned in her ear. "God I need you."
Before Natalia could respond Rick came through the door. "Ok ladies, keep it PG until you get home. I don't need to see that."
They both blushed and chuckled as Natalia moved to her side. Olivia laughed until what he actually said fully registered. "Wait, does that mean I can do that again?"
Natalia turned redder and Rick just smiled. "Yes, I see no reason for you to not be able to but, you know your limitations. At anytime that you feel like something is not right you need to stop wait until you calm and gage how you feel and if you need to see me."
He paused looking at her chart and blushed slightly. "Actually the activity is good exercise for your heart just go slow the first time to test it. Otherwise your test results look good and all your labs came back great."
Natalia beamed and hugged her close as Olivia just smile looking up at him. "Thanks Rick. I did have a question? We were planning on going out of town for the weekend. Would it be ok for me to be a little ways away from the hospital?"
"How far away? Rural, city, small town?"
She motioned him forward and whispered in his ear and he smiled. "That's ok, in fact..." He pulled out a card with his cell and another number on it and handed it to Natalia. "I won't be far from there myself. Call if you have any problems and I can be there in minutes. Since you are doing good I was going to take a mini vacation this week myself and get away."
She smiled and put the card in her purse. "Thank you, is that all then?"
With a nod he handed them some papers. "That's it. I'm very happy with what I am seeing after this last hiccup. Just have fun this weekend and don't overdo it. No lifting or super heavy excursion. Same restrictions as before your scare Monday."
They thanked him again and headed out of the hospital. Olivia slid into the drivers seat now that Rick had totally cleared her and Natalia handed her the keys. "Come on baby we got places to go."
Natalia laughed and climbed in. "Someone's anxious to get on the road. I thought it was close?"
Olivia smirks and half shrugs. "It's not far but we need to stop at the grocery store to get food for today and tomorrow once we get close and the quicker we get there the quicker I can cuddle with you."
Natalia smiles leaning over and kisses her chastely before she puts the car in reverse. "I'm just teasing baby, I want to get there quickly too."
With a chuckle Olivia pulls out and is on her way. Thirty minutes into the drive Natalia recognizes where they are. "Olivia, are we going to the Baur cabin?"
She shakes her head keeping her eyes forward. "No, we are actually going to my cabin."
Looking at her sharply Natalia is confused. "Um, when did you buy a cabin out here? I know you didn't have one when we were out here before your transplant."
Olivia sighs and glances to her then puts her eyes back on the road. "I bought it right after I lost the first heart."
Natalia looked at her quizzically. "Why?"
"Can we talk about it later?" Olivia was very uncomfortable.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean is there a reason that I wouldn't want to go to this cabin? You didn't like bring Josh or someone else out here did you?"
Olivia looked at her like she'd just slapped her and pulled off onto the side of the road. "How could you think... No, I've never brought anyone out here."
Sensing the unintentional hurt she just caused Natalia pulled Olivia's face to her and kissed her softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I just get jealous sometimes and it gets the better of me. I know Josh is your friend now and I don't like that he has seen you naked. I'm just being silly because I don't like that anyone but me has seen you that way. Which is irrational, I know. Please, tell me why you bought it."
Olivia sighed into the kiss and rested her forehead to Natalia's. "I'm not sure you want to know the reason I bought it."
"Why not, just tell me baby."
"Fine, I bought it after I lost the first heart because I gave up. I bought this place for me to come out here alone and just die." She pulled away as tears started to fall.
Natalia gasped but Olivia didn't let her respond as she continued her explanation. "I bought it so that my daughters didn't have to see me die. I came out here for one night then after rethinking what I was doing I went home and decided to fight. I haven't been there since."
She took a breath and looked out the drivers window. "I wanted to bring you here because I wanted to make it a happy place that we maybe brought the kids out to. I mean I won't buy anything that's not top quality so it has a boat house and dock and stuff. I just want to turn a place that I bought out of pain and misery into someplace that we could enjoy as a family but I wanted the first time I came back out her to be alone with you."
As tears poured from both of them Natalia cupped her face and pulled it back around and kissed her so slowly and passionately that it took her breath. When she pulled away she gently kissed her chin. "I'm so sorry that I was a part of what drove you to buying it and giving up. I would love to go there with you now and I will do my best to help turn it into something so much better, filled with wonderful memories."
Olivia nodded and pushed in for another kiss then they both pulled away helping each other clean up before she pulled back onto the road. Shortly after they pulled into the little grocery store and got all they would need for the weekend then we're on their way again.
Less than a mile down the road Olivia pulled off the main road onto a gravel driveway. It was pretty long and when they came to the end Natalia gasped at the beauty of the place.
Getting out she turned in circles taking in the majestic tranquility of it and the surrounding woods. "Oh honey, it's gorgeous."
She smiled as Olivia pulled her around back to see the lake. Spotting the boat house and huge dock Natalia beamed. "The kids are going to love it out here but we need to buy Emma a life jacket first. She's not the best swimmer yet."
Olivia wrapped her arms around her from behind. "I agree. There's already a boat in that house and a couple of sea-dos. I called the grounds keeper a month or so ago and had them take them down and have them serviced and make sure they were in working order for the summer. I want to have Ava come home for a week or two this summer and bring them all out here for a family vacation."
Natalia turned in her arms and kissed her. "I like that idea and we can talk about it more later but right now we have groceries in the car and I want to see the inside of this beautiful house."
Olivia chuckled and followed as Natalia took off back toward the car. Once they got all of the bags inside they put them in the kitchen. Natalia stood in awe for a moment in the kitchen doorway. "Oh my god I love this kitchen."
It was fully updated with granite countertops and all stainless steel appliances. Like she said, Olivia only buys the best. She then gave her a full tour once the food was put away. It was two stories and had four bedrooms on the top floor with two bathrooms. The bottom floor was the kitchen, dinning room, living area with a huge beautiful fireplace and housed the master suite and private bath. There was a main deck off the living area but she took her out the side doors to a private deck that came off the master suite. where there was a screened in private hot tub and porch swing.
Natalia leaned over the railing and looked over the water. "It is so beautiful her Liv."
Molding into her back Olivia hugged her from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder. "Do you see why I wanted to make it a happy place?"
Leaning back into her she sighed. "Yes and I am so happy that you are here so that I can help you do that. I love it here and I love you."
She turned her head and found Olivia's waiting lips. The kiss started out loving but quickly morphed into passionate causing Natalia to turn in her arms to get a better grip on her. Once she was fully in he arms she wrapped her own around Olivia's neck and buried her hands in her hair.
Olivia groaned into her mouth when she felt her nails dragging along her scalp. Natalia pushed into her gently backing her into the bedroom. They continued to move as Natalia guided her until she stopped them at the foot of the bed.
Breaking the kiss she rested her head to Olivia's and moved her hands to her jacket sliding it off her shoulders. "I think this is no longer needed."
She groaned as she allowed Natalia to remove it. "I agree, and neither is this." She husked as she started unbuttoning Natalia's shirt.
Natalia shivered as the silky fabric flittered off of her body and hit the floor leaving her in her jeans and bra. Olivia's breath caught in her throat at the vision before her. "Dear god you're exquisite."
Blushing Natalia moved to remove Olivia's shirt as well only for Olivia to stop her. "I..." She was still unsure about how she felt about her scars and now she had a new one.
Natalia stopped completely and pulled her close. "What's wrong Liv.?"
Olivia shook her head and sighed. "It's nothing let's just..."
Quickly taking her lips she cut her off with a passionate kiss. "No, tell me what's wrong honey."
"It's just... You're so perfect and I'm just not anymore." He head fell in shame at what she thought of body.
Natalia lifted her face by her chin and kissed her softly. "Are you kidding me right now. Olivia, you are so beautiful. You forget that I've seen you naked already. When you were recovering from the first surgery and after your heart attack. Even sick... My lord you were still so perfect."
She kissed her nose and continued. "I think after your heart attack was when I started to see you differently. I noticed your body every time I helped you and let me tell you my thoughts were not always purely on helping. So please don't think that I will be disappointed in anyway just because of this."
Olivia hadn't noticed that the whole time she was talking she was also unbuttoning her shirt and was now gently running her finger along her biggest scar.
She gasped as Natalia leaned forward kissing it lightly and ran her tongue along it's length. "When I see this all I think is that it's what kept you here. It's the reason that I get to hold you, and kiss you. It's the reason our children still have you in their lives. These scars are what drew us together. They're beautiful to me so never, ever hid them from me."
As tears started to fall Olivia pulled her up and connected their lips once more in desperation and held on like her life depended on it. Slowly the kiss morphed from desperate to loving and Natalia slipped her shirt from her shoulders and leaned back to see what she had unveiled.
Her breath hitched as she ran her hands up Olivia's abs. "Oh Liv," was all she was able to say as she drug her nails up her abs to the underside of her bra clad breasts.
Olivia moaned at the feel of her nails and lost all of the anxiety about her body at the look of pure lust that Natalia was directing at her. Remembering that her hands still worked she lifted them to the body in front of her and ran them over her arms and back then around to her abs as well.
The moment Olivia cupped her breasts was the same moment that Natalia had covered her's as well and they both moaned in unison then crashed back together.
Hands started moving frantically and Olivia's slacks hit the floor and were kicked away as she worked the button on Natalia jeans and slid them off. They came back together in nothing more then their bras and panties and sighed as their skin met.
Olivia buried her hands in her hair pulling her close and spoke breathlessly against her lips. "Oh sweetie, you feel like heaven against me."
Natalia groaned and nipped her bottom lip. "Oh, I have no words to describe how good this feels. God Liv I need you to get on the bed. I need to lay with you before my knees give out."
She pushed her gently until the back of her knees hit the bed and watch hungrily as Olivia crawled backwards on the bed. It only took a second for her to follow, crawling up with her and hovering above her as she lay back.
Once she was fully laying against the pillows Olivia pulled her down onto her but Natalia resisted slightly. "I don't want to crush you baby, your incision site is still raw."
Olivia growled and pulled her down. "I need to feel you fully against me. I promise to tell you if anything hurts. Please baby."
Conceding Natalia let her weight rest fully on the lushes body below her. They both moaned again and dove back in. Natalia slowed them down as she shifted slightly to the left and let her right leg rest between Olivia's.
Olivia ran her hands up her back and released the clasps on her bra and pulled it down her arms and caused Natalia to gasp as she took both breasts in her hands.
"Jesus Olivia!" She moaned as Olivia kneaded them. "Off, I want your bra off now. Please baby."
Olivia quickly sat up causing Natalia to straddle her lap as they removed the last barrier keeping them from full skin to skin contact of their chests. Once it was gone Natalia took both in her hands moaning softly at the feel then released them to wrap her arms around her and rub against her.
The both moaned and Olivia could barely breath at the onslaught of sensations. She had no words so she just pulled Natalia's mouth to hers and devoured the beauty above her.
She couldn't take it anymore as Natalia rocked in her lap and she ran her hand down to the heat between her legs that awaited her. She paused at the waistband of her panties and looked into her eyes. "Can I...?"
Natalia kissed her ravenously then pants against her lips. "God yes... please baby."
Olivia wasted no time and pushed her hand in finding her wetness quickly. "Oh god you are so wet."
Moaning at the feeling Natalia's hips started moving a little faster. "All for you Liv, only for you. Please baby." She wasn't sure what she was begging for but she needed Olivia to give her more.
She wasn't very experienced with sex. She had a handful of partners in the past and none that had ever fully cared about whether she was satisfied or not. She knew that this wouldn't be the case with Olivia.
Olivia needed to hear no more and swiftly found her clit and started pressing in with tight circles. "Oh god." Natalia shuddered in her arms and she almost came undone at the sight.
She worked her higher until Natalia was almost bucking against her. "Please... I need... I ..."
Olivia buried her head into her neck a bit down on her pulse point before kissing up to her ear. "What baby... What to you need?" She knew exactly what she needed but she wanted her to say it.
Natalia groaned and bucking her hips again. "In... Inside... God please inside..."
Hearing all she needed to she positioned two fingers at her opening and slid them easily home. They both moaned at the feeling then Olivia started to move.
Natalia threw her head back in ecstasy. "Uhn... Oh don't stop... Please baby."
Olivia worked her higher speeding up her thrusts and curling her fingers on the down stroke knowing how much she like that too. "Never... I'm not stopping until your screaming my name."
She watched as Natalia started to shake in her arms and her hips became erratic. "God your gorgeous."
Natalia was beyond words or coherent thought, lost in the feeling of Olivia against her, surrounding her, Inside her, and all the sudden she was seeing stars. "OHGODOHGODOHGOD... OHSHITOLIVVVVVIAAA!"
She clamped down on Olivia's fingers so tight it was almost painful but the feel of that, the look on her face, and the feel of her convulsing in her arms cause Olivia to fall over the edge too. "FUUUCK Natalia!"
She slowed her fingers to help her come down then removed them as she lay back pulling Natalia with her settling her snugly against her side.
Natalia leaned in and kissed her neck as she calmed. "My god Liv, I had no idea..."
Olivia smiled and held her close. "So I take it I was ok then?"
Natalia scoffed. "If that was ok I'm a little frightened of fantastic."
They both laughed still trying to calm their breathing. Natalia nuzzled into her neck and sighed. "Give me just a moment then I want you."
Olivia chuckled as Natalia yawned. "It can wait baby. Trust me, just seeing and feeling you cum so hard was enough for me to cum as well."
Natalia shook her head and started kissing along her jaw. "No, I need to touch you."
Olivia groaned and pulled her face up kissing her soundly. Natalia shifted and moved down her body taking a nipple in her mouth sucking gently causing Olivia to moan loudly. "It's your turn baby."
With that she descended on the beasts in front of her paying each equal attention as Olivia threw her head back in ecstasy.
A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out to you. I hope it was worth the wait.