I hope my reviewers understand that I cannot tell if you're the same person or not when you aren't even particularly consistent with your capitalization. Or, you know, your ability to spell words. Just saying.

Anyway, lovely joke, 'Just a reader'. It's terrible in the sense that it's great.

To that one guy who continually seems to be attempting to confuse me... Good to know I'm not the only Monty Python and The Holy Grail lover here. That just made me go and watch the 'Tis But A Flesh Wound' scene again. Now I'm going to forever see Black Knight as that pathetic creature. They are very similar in mannerisms, I suppose. And do you seriously believe this story is the best one out of all of the Shovel Knight fics out there? Well, that makes me feel special!

Anyway, this chapter gets particularly evil, so be prepared.

Short 12

(Day 8)

Life after the two beefy men left was surprisingly boring. It was nice actually. No one bothered Plague Knight, which he was perfectly comfortable with, and life almost seemed normal. Of course, that's only if you disregarded the fact that he was around 7 years of age, and now had a cat following him about everywhere.

Five days after the last big event, the Magicist came up to him.

"Guess what!" She yelled, her tone indicating that she was extremely thrilled.

"What?" Plague Knight asked, not sharing her excitement, as he merely wished to return to his work.

"Get this; two adventurers have arrived in town. Two!"

This caught Plague Knight's attention. "Two? So we could drain half the necessary amount from both and avoid killing either, therefore not annoying you?"

The Magicist shrugged, probably having not even thought of that. The important thing was that there were adventurers, two in fact.

Plague Knight smiled evilly. "Nice! I'll go grab Mona and we'll round them up!"

The Magicist nodded. "I'll go keep an eye on them. Be quick."

Plague Knight dashed away in search of Mona before she was even finished with her sentence. It didn't take long to find her. She was tucked away in a corner, reading.

"Guess what!" He repeated the Magicist's words as soon as he had her attention.

"You killed Percy?!" Mona replied nigh instantly with mock enthusiasm, looking both bored and excited at the same time somehow.

Plague Knight shook his head. "I wish! But no. The Magicist says there are two adventurers in town!"

"Two?" Mona questioned, getting a nod in response. Without looking at it, Mona slapped her book closed; inwardly berating herself a moment later when she realized that she forgot to mark her page. She placed the tome down and stood.

Minutes later, the two, and their accompanying cat, were watching the Magicist as she chat with some random man, likely a tourist, but definitely not one of the adventurers, judging from his lack of armor or weapon. It took a while, but eventually he left, and the Magicist turned to assess them.

"Sorry," she apologized. "He's a chatterbox."

Plague Knight waved it off quickly. "It doesn't matter. Where're the adventurers?"

The Magicist held up a finger, closing her eyes.

Plague Knight looked up to Mona, who glanced back and shrugged helplessly.

Finally, she opened her eyes again and said, "They're in the forest. Go now, else you might not get a better chance to ambush them without getting caught by a villager or guard."

The two alchemists nodded simultaneously, turning and heading out without another word.

"The hell did she just do?" Plague Knight asked. "How did she find them?"

"I'm not sure," Mona admitted. "It's ridiculous, but maybe she can lock onto their magical signature and track them through it?"

Plague Knight laughed. "That's as good a guess as any, I suppose."

The two wandered into the forest, keeping an eye out for any humans.

"I wish she had informed us of the general direction that they were in," Plague Knight groaned. "This place is surrounded by trees, and she expects us to find two people hidden somewhere inside?"

"They aren't hidden," Mona corrected. "But I agree, they could be anywhere, and it's likely they're moving constantly. Finding them is not going to be fun."

They fell silent for a couple moments until Plague Knight got bored, yelling at the top of his lungs, "Yo! Stupid adventurer types, where are you?!" This action earned him a light smack on the head from Mona. "What was that for?" He was vaguely aware of Xenon growling menacingly at Mona in defense of her caretaker. "Down girl," he whispered to her, which she reluctantly did.

"You don't call the people you're attempting to find stupid, stupid."

Plague Knight gently rubbed his head, whining, "You didn't have to hit me."

"Oh, get over it, you big baby. I could knock you flat on your ass if I so wished, but will I? No; so you shouldn't complain when I do that."

Plague Knight grumbled, but kept his mouth shut.

"Halt!" A strong, familiar voice called out.

The alchemists complied, mostly out of confusion, and turned in the direction the voice came from. Standing there were Peter, on the left, and Thomas, on the right, (at least, that's what Plague Knight suspected, he were unsure if they had decided to switch their styles for the day) as well as a third, unknown man in the center. He seemed to be the father the bodyguards had told them of, as he stood just behind the two, and his clothing indicated that he was quite wealthy.

The father stepped forward, keeping an eye on Mona, seemingly glaring at her. Peter and Thomas moved out of the way immediately, allowing him to approach unhindered.

The man crouched in front of Plague Knight, slapping on a friendly smile within milliseconds of making eye contact.

"Good day, Adam," he greeted.

Plague Knight's eye twitched in annoyance. "What did I tell you, or more specifically, your lackeys? Go away!"

The man was taken aback.

"Well? Go!"

Mona stepped forward, positioning herself between her partner and the man, Xenon mimicking the action with a snarl. "I'm sorry, but he has no intention of going with you. I suggest you respect his wishes and leave."

The man's eyes narrowed. "Is that so…?" He stood and stepped back, sending a small signal to his guardians, who moved forward.

Xenon hissed as they approached, trying to keep them at bay. They barely spared her a glance; Peter kicking her to the side.

"Xenon!" Plague Knight yelled, rushing to retrieve her. He picked her up and found that she had been knocked out. Cradling her, he looked up, snarling. "You're going to pay for that."

Thomas raised an eyebrow as the boy started to move away from the area. "Oh? And how are you going to do that? It looks more like you're running away!"

Plague Knight didn't respond, as his 'running away' was actually just him placing Xenon behind a tree, hopefully out of the soon-to-be-battlefield. He reached behind him, placing his hand into a pouch with an evil smile, slipping into his battle stance as he almost absentmindedly searched from something within the bag.

Mona saw what he was doing and mimicked it. "Cluster?" She questioned vaguely, earning a nod from her partner.

"It's probably the only thing that could work effectively on such big creatures," he replied.

Peter and Thomas watched them silently, trying to figure out what they were going to attempt. They moved into defensive positions quickly, hoping to minimize damage from the inevitable attack.

Plague Knight withdrew his hand, having located the item he had been searching for in his magically enhanced bag. To the men's surprise and amusement, it was a small bottle filled with an orange fluid. They collectively thought as he lobbed it, 'How cute!' They noted Mona threw a similar such bottle, which they were far more wary of, believing her to be more strategic in her movements.

Peter attempted to backhand the bottle Plague Knight tossed, but when his hand came into contact with it, it shattered and exploded multiple times. He let out a pained cry, pulling his hand away quickly, finding it burned and blackened.

Thomas quickly jumped away from the potion Mona threw at him, finding that it exploded in a similar manner.

The brothers glanced to each other, realizing what they were dealing with. "You're an alchemist," they accused.

"Guilty as charged," Plague Knight told them smugly, not realized that they were only addressing Mona.

"What have you done to my child?!" The father yelled, marching into the warzone.

Plague Knight stuck his hand back into his pouch, silently warning the man back. He paused and stepped back, glaring at Mona as he did so.

"How many times have I told you now? I'm not your kid!" Plague Knight snarled. "I'm an alchemist, and I can and will blow your heads off if you don't leave immediately."

None of their opponents backed down. In fact, Thomas saw the distraction as the opportunity it was and grabbed a hefty rock, lifting it without so much as a grunt of effort, launching it at Mona.

Mona managed to react in time, but was still almost nailed in the chest. In retaliation, she hurled another cluster bomb at him, which was dodged once again.

At this point, the brothers drew their swords, to which their opponents smiled and laughed. They could outmaneuver the men with sufficient ease, peppering them with bombs until they ran away with their metaphorical tails between their legs.

"What's so funny?" Peter asked, though he did not get an answer, as the two started moving, grabbing a number of different bombs from their individual bags as they went.

The battle did not get very far before they heard, "Stop your stupid fighting, or the cat dies!"

Plague Knight stopped moving so fast that he nearly fell flat on his face. He whipped around to see the father holding the still unconscious Xenon with a small knife to her neck. "Xenon!" He called out with worry.

The man looked uninterested in the kitten he held, saying, "I don't understand why you care so much. But whatever, it worked." He made a small movement with the hand holding the knife, and Plague Knight growled threatening when it almost slit the cat's throat.

Suddenly, he was being picked up from behind by Peter, indicated by the blue covering the man's arms. His bomb bag was grabbed and tossed to the side. He very nearly smashed the remaining potion in his hand on his captor's arms, but as he moved to do so, he heard a small, but threatening "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He looked up and realized that any escape attempt would lead to the death of his cat. He snarled, mostly at his own softness.

Hearing a cry, Plague Knight struggled briefly to see what had happened, mostly failing until Peter turned to allow him to witness what was next. He nearly threatened to strangle the brothers with each other's own necks when he saw that Thomas had taken another cheap opportunity, blinding turning around and running his sword into Mona. It was likely he had been aiming for the heart, but she moved out of the way just in time to avoid that fate, and as such her left shoulder was run through instead.

She was on the ground, gasping for breath. Though it wasn't particularly obvious, Plague Knight could tell she was fighting back tears of pain.

Something snapped, and, cat be damned, he attempted an escape, taking the cheap method of kicking Peter where the sun doesn't shine. The man recoiled immediately, dropping Plague Knight, who launched himself at the father without a moment's hesitation, knocking his knife away and kicking his feet out from under him before he knew what happened.

Retrieving the knife, the child alchemist pressed it up against the man's windpipe, yelling, "Stop!" to Thomas, whose hand was resting on the hilt of his sword, still embedded in Mona's shoulder. He was well aware that if it were to be removed, she would bleed freely, and he had no intention of seeing that happen. "Step away from her!"

Thomas complied, so he turned his attention to Peter, yelling, "Peter, throw your weapon away! Now!"

"I'm Thomas," he corrected as he did so.

Plague Knight sighed. "Should've seen that coming." He turned to Mona, silently asking her to come to him with a twitch of his head. She slowly crawled towards him and he did a quick inspection of her wound. Peter had attacked with clear intent to kill, the sword buried up to the hilt, most of the blade sticking out the other end.

Grimacing slightly, he gestured her closer, handing the knife to her.

"I'll get the guards. Slit his throat and blow up his head if either so much as twitches."

Mona nodded, not needing to be told twice.

Sending a warning glare to the brothers, Plague Knight took off, arriving in the village within a minute. He hollered to the first guard he saw, whimpering like the child he appeared to be. "Some bad men have attacked us!"

The guard looked at the forest trail he had appeared from. "Where's Mona?"

"She's keeping them occupied," he answered. "But she's hurt. Hurry!" He turned and dashed to the forest, pausing briefly to ensure that the guard was following.

When they arrived, they found Mona lying on the ground, unconscious. Peter's sword, and the man himself, were no longer present. Plague Knight didn't dwell on this for long, however.

"There's no one here," the guard noted.

"Thank you, captain obvious," Plague Knight snarled as he rushed to Mona's side. He shook her, but what unable to obtain a reaction. He placed his hands over her wound and tried to slow the bleeding.

The guard raised an eyebrow at the snarky tone of voice, but ignored it in favor of retrieving the boy's kitten, failing to notice the severity of Mona's injury. He didn't make it halfway, though, before he was killed, a sword rammed with enough force to pass through his armor as though it were mere paper, piercing his heart.

Plague Knight jumped to his feet, inwardly cursing as he realized that he should have dragged an army behind him.

Thomas removed his bloodied weapon, casually shaking some of the blood off it.

Plague Knight took a cautious step backwards, eyes scanning the ground for his bag.

Peter held it, as well as Mona's, up, while asking, "Looking for this?"

Plague Knight's lips curled back into a snarl.

He was grabbed from behind, and held high enough that he couldn't kick any unsavory spots.

Plague Knight started to spew threats and insults, pissed more than one might think imaginable. He was halfway into a threat about ripping open their stomachs and feeding each other their own entrails when he felt something smack into his head, and all went black.

Peter looked to his brother with a nod. "Good, we finally got him."

Thomas gazed downward, to the unconscious woman at his feet. "What she would do with her?" He asked, poking her side absentmindedly with his foot.

"We could always carve up her legs. She wouldn't be able to pursue us like that."

Thomas thought for a second. "No, I have a better idea. We can't drag her back into the village to warn them, regardless of our service; we found out because we were attempting to 'kidnap' a child. But we should still leave them a message of what she is."

"You mean…?" Peter asked, cocking his head to the side, his expression an odd mixture of surprise and confusion.

Thomas didn't say anything, merely handing Plague Knight over to his brother before removing the knife he kept hidden in his boot, holding it in his non-dominate, but not exploded hand. He nudged Mona onto her stomach before he ripped off the back of her cloak.

"I kind of feel bad," Peter noted when his eyes caught a glance of her back, "her skin looks so soft and perfect."

Thomas scoffed as he plunged his blade into her. "You saying she deserves it?"

Peter shook his head, watching him lift the knife. "Like hell she does. Doesn't make it any less pretty."

Thomas briefly paused and fixed him with a playful smile. "Oh? Does that mean that if she weren't an alchemist or trying to keep Adam from us, you would date her?"

Peter let out a sharp bark of a laugh. "Excuse you? No way! You know I don't date!"

"Don't you want a family?"

"You can be the one to pass on the genetics. I'm certainly not gonna."

Thomas shook his head. "You really need to get over that first date."

"Like hell I am."

Thomas merely rolled his eyes, returning to his work. His lifted the blade, moved it, and plunged it downward again. It was at this point Mona regained consciousness, jerking upward, her mouth stretched in a silent scream. She spotted Plague Knight and reached up towards him, but was stopped by Peter planting his boot on her face, knocking her aside. She didn't move after that, though was conscious for a full minute until she finally passed out from the pain.

"Don't do that," Thomas scolded. "You almost ruined the cut."

"Well sorry!" Peter replied sarcastically. "I didn't know you were a perfectionist when it came to torturing others."

Thomas rolled his eyes as though he were saying 'You wouldn't understand, dear brother.'

Once he was finished, he stood and frowned when he realized he'd gotten blood on his clothes.

"Let's go, before anyone realizes what happened," Peter advised. "Master is likely getting impatient; I doubt he enjoyed being told to wait away from the action."

Thomas nodded in agreement. "Let's hurry, then."

As the two men started walking away, Thomas stopped for just a second, looking behind him to observe his handiwork. Though her back was covered in blood, he could still make out the word he had carved there.

ALCHEMIST

Yep, shit's gotten real.

If you can't see any of the irony of the brother's situation when they decided to 'warn the village,' then you have a worse sense of irony than I do.