Well, this is what you get when I stop and ask myself '...The fuck am I going to do now?' And yet, it's my second longest chapter yet, the first being the first chapter involving the burly white dudes. I smell consistency, because apparently a big ball o' nonsense chapter that has the ability to move the plot forward even the tiniest bit is apparently better than a small ball of nonsense that actually has some direction. Funny how that works.

Anyway, this chapter is incredibly fluffy and establishes pretty much jack shit (other than the fact that no one seems to know the Magicist's name, but that's beside the point), but like I said above, this was just me trying to figure out what to do, and once I got that down, decided to not change this because it's nice and cute.

Short 21

(Day 15)

Plague Knight awoke the next morning to find that his headache was getting worse. 'Alright, my day isn't off to a great start,' he thought. He tried to sit up but quickly realized he was too exhausted to do so.

"What the hell?" He groaned tiredly, realizing he had a sore throat when it started to burn.

Something shifted by his side and he looked to it, grateful for the distraction. It was Mona, who didn't look any less tired than she had the day before.

It was then that Plague Knight realized that he was not in his room, but rather Mona's. It took him more than a couple minutes to figure out why this was, but eventually he rationalized it as he fell asleep in her arms, and then she was too worn-out to drag him back to his room. Finding that to be fair enough, he decided that he was too tired to move and should just return to sleep.

He found that doing this was strangely difficult, though. Maybe it was because he was hungry, or because the headache was keeping him up, or maybe it was because his throat was burning, but he just could not get back to sleep. He tossed and turned and found that nothing made it any better. Eventually, he determined that it must be because he was too hot, so he shoved off the blanket, only to realize that wasn't the issue, and it just made him unbearably cold.

"Why?" He moaned softly as he dragged the blanket back over his form.

Mona muttered something, and Plague Knight realized he had woken her.

"Sorry," he whispered.

Mona's eyes opened a crack and she gazed at him with something akin to tired annoyance mixed with worried compassion. "What's wrong?" She asked; her head still clouded with sleep to the point whereas her words were almost impossible to understand, and it was a miracle Plague Knight understood the question at all.

"Nothing; go back to sleep," Plague Knight told her, rolling away from her.

"I'm already up, just tell me what's wrong," Mona insisted, shifting a little in an attempt to wake herself some.

"My headache's gotten worse, and I have a sore throat, and I can't get back to sleep, and I'm hungry!" He whined.

"You're probably just sick," Mona murmured, her eyes closing briefly as though she was about to fall asleep again before they popped open when she came to an important realization. "Wait, what? No, disregard that, that's not possible."

"It is," Plague Knight corrected. "The Magicist said that my immune system's weaker because I'm a kid now."

"But even at half strength, you should be fully able to obliterate a cold before it could get to you."

Plague Knight chuckled nervously. "I kinda haven't been eating or sleeping a lot, though."

Sighing, Mona said, "Yeah, that'll do it. Nice job." She yawned. "Listen, just rest for now. If you do that and get some food in you, it'll probably be gone by tomorrow at worse. The Magicist should be here in an hour or so, so just hang on until then for food, alright?"

Plague Knight nodded and tried to lie still, though he still found this to be difficult. Maybe it was because of his constant shifting, or because she wanted to comfort him, but regardless of the reason, Mona eventually scooted closer to him and embraced him. Plague Knight's fidgeting halted completely as all his thoughts were on the fact that she was trying to soothe him (or possibly trying to hold him still).

"Sorry," he said.

Mona muttered something that sounded vaguely like 'For what?' Plague Knight was unsure of if this was actually what she said.

"I'm keeping you up, and I really shouldn't be," he replied, assuming that she had indeed asked why he was sorry.

"I don't mind too much," she informed him. "If I was worried you'd wake me, I would have tossed you on the floor a long time ago."

"Still, sorry. I'll shut up now."

Mona nodded, and Plague Knight didn't let himself move a muscle even after he was sure that she was sound asleep.

After several minutes, he realized that he was exhausted, and suddenly he was sleeping.

"Aw, look at you!" The Magicist said happily, having absolutely no regard for the fact that the two sleeping alchemists in front of her didn't enjoy being woken.

Groaning, Mona opened her eyes and turned her head to gaze at the one who dared to wake her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it's sweet how you let him sleep with you! I also find it incredibly amusing how you're already doing that, and yet you haven't confessed to him."

Mona's jaw dropped open and she tensed. Though she didn't want to be, she was wide awake now. "Y-you knew?"

"It's very obvious. In fact, I'm shocked that he hasn't noticed. Or anyone else for that matter. Maybe he has, but just doesn't acknowledge it."

"Please don't say that."

"If you insist. Anyway, are you hungry?"

Mona sat up immediately, causing her to wince a second later. "Yes."

Chuckling, the Magicist held out a sandwich. Mona snatched it out of her hands and dug into it.

"You're really hungry, huh?" The Magicist asked with a raised eyebrow. Mona nodded in response to this. "So, when are you going to tell him?"

Mona once again tensed. She took her time chewing her food as she mulled over what to say. Finally, she swallowed and admitted, "I don't know. I mean, I'm never afraid of anything, but I am terrified of telling him."

The Magicist snickered. "And why is that? He's reasonable, I'm sure that in the event that he doesn't see you like that, he'd at least make an effort to not let things get incredibly awkward between you two."

"I suppose…"

"So… when're you going to tell him?"

"When he's not a kid, that's for sure."

"Oh yeah, that might make things weird, huh? By the way, do you think he's hungry?"

Mona looked to Plague Knight, who was surprisingly not waking to the girls' chattering. "Yeah, he mentioned that he was, but I don't think it'd be good to wake him."

"Why?"

"Interestingly, he's sick. He woke up at one point and squirmed about enough to get me up."

"Oh? You want me to put him back in his room? Xenon was yowling because neither of you have been present in forever, and I've just shoved her in his room for the time being."

"No, it's fine. He was pretty apologetic about waking me, but he seemed comforted by me being there. And why don't you bring the cat in here?"

"That's a good question. Oh, and don't complain to me if he continually wakes you, alright? Are you going to wake him or not?"

Mona nodded and gently nudged Plague Knight. "You hungry?" She softly questioned.

Plague Knight grumbled but nevertheless opened his eyes. "Food?" He croaked.

Mona nodded and responded almost as though she were actually speaking to a child, "Yes, food."

Groaning, Plague Knight sat up. He limply held out his hand, awaiting the promised provisions to be handed to him. The Magicist placed a second sandwich on his palm, and his fingers slowly curled around it.

"Hey, Plaguaty-"

Mona interjected before the Magicist could continue her sentence. "Hang on… What?"

"You said I can't call him 'Plaguey,' so I'm trying to come up with something new. Plague Knight sounds so formal, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, that's why I came up with the nickname to begin with. I think you should keep working; 'Plaguaty' just sounds awkward and weird."

"Agreed," Plague Knight said.

Mona turned her gaze back to him. "Wow, rather surprised you bothered to listen to that."

"It sounded like you were saying my name. Of course I'd pay attention. And if you insist on not calling me by my full title, then just shorten it to 'Plague.' It's much simpler than coming up with something more convoluted. While we're on the subject of names, were you ever planning on telling us your real name, or are you forever going to be known as 'the Magicist'?"

"Maybe one day, but not now!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel like it."

Plague Knight sighed and shook his head. "Lovely reason. Anyway, what's up?"

"So, Mona and I were just talking and I have to ask…" Mona's eyes widened and she shot the Magicist a look that yelled, 'I don't know what you're about to do, but whatever it is, I will kill you for it!' "If you had to, who would you date?" Mona tried to hide that she felt an intense urge to murder the older woman.

Plague Knight froze up, the remains of his sandwich almost slipping out of his grasp, caught completely off guard. "I have to choose?" The Magicist nodded eagerly while Mona provided him an exasperated look that told him that he didn't have to partake in his coworker's game if he didn't want to. His eye twitched and he muttered under his breath, "Women."

"I heard that," the Magicist informed him, pretending to be wounded. She poked him a couple times, reaching across Mona, who still looked rather pissed. "Come on! It can't be that difficult."

"You're putting him on the spot," Mona reminded, pushing the magician's arm away. "You've got to at least give him a minute to gather his thoughts."

"But that takes all the fun out of it!" She whined, resuming poking Plague Knight, who was slowly turning a bright red.

"Uh, no one," Plague Knight answered finally.

"That's not an option!" The Magicist replied with a sing-song voice.

"No, I'm saying that because no one would want to date me," Plague Knight countered, talking so fast that his words became difficult to make out. "Therefore, the question is rendered invalid. Goodnight."

Plague Knight then proceeded to practically jump on his side, hiding his face beneath the covers. If one listened closely, they would hear the sounds of him nibbling on his sandwich.

"Now look at what you've done," Mona said with an annoyed look on her face. She gently shook the lump that was her partner. "Plaguey, that's not true."

"Oh?" Was the depressed response.

"Yeah, I mean, you have to at least take into account that you're a walking paradox."

"I am?"

"Yep. A paradox is, by definition, a statement that contains two or more contradictory and equally true statements."

"I'm aware," Plague Knight informed her.

"Good. Anyway, a decent example one might use for this is a funny, smart, caring adult male. See where I'm going with this?"

"You know, I don't think a lot of people think I'm any of those."

"You're at least male, and smart. That in itself is an oxymoron. And though you aren't currently, you're still technically an adult, and the term 'adult man' could also be considered contradictory. Mature is probably a better word to use there, but the point still stands. Face it; even if you had to travel to another land, there is someone who would be willing to date you."

Half of Plague Knight's head appeared from under the covers, his eyes gazing at her with worry. "Really?"

"Yes, dear," Mona replied.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" The Magicist roared.

Plague Knight screamed and jumped back, bashing the back of his head against the wall. He groaned and curled in on himself, clutching his wounded cranium. "Ow," he whimpered.

"Oops," the Magicist said with a sheepish grin.

"God, this is such a disaster," Mona sighed to herself, shaking her head in exasperation. She looked to the Magicist and demanded, "Go make yourself useful and get him some painkillers. He's seriously going to need it."

"Get me some water, too," he croaked.

The Magicist huffed, but complied nonetheless and left.

"What a pain," Mona muttered before returning her attention to Plague Knight. "You alright?"

"Maybe," he replied, uncurling himself somewhat. "We're still alive because of her, but I swear she is going to be the death of us."

Mona patted Plague Knight's shoulder. "Don't worry, dear, I won't let her touch you."

Plague Knight looked up to her with a small smile on his face. "Thanks." He was silent for a moment before he questioned, "Hey, were you serious about me being a 'funny, smart, caring adult male'?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," she answered honestly.

"So, I could theoretically get a date."

"Of course. No matter how stupid or asshole-ish you are, someone is bound to like you. It seems to be a rule of the universe. You know how everyone talks about 'soulmates' and whathaveyou."

Plague Knight nodded thoughtfully. "But how would you know who your soulmate is? What if you're just hanging around some jackass that you think is 'cool,' even though he hates your guts and hopes you die in the fiery pits of hell?"

Mona shrugged. "I assume you'd figure it out sooner or later. If not, then you'll just never find the one you're destined for, I guess."

"But if it's destiny, won't they find you anyway?"

Mona adopted a thoughtful look, complete with closed eyes and a stroking of the chin. "I suppose that could happen. People do say you can't fight fate."

"Do keep in mind that those people are oftentimes wrong," Plague Knight reminded her.

"That's true. But I feel I should entertain the thought regardless. We're alchemists, after all. If we get anyone that isn't another alchemist to even vague tolerate us, it's a goddamn miracle."

Plague Knight laughed briefly at the true statement before fidgeting. "Whoever said your soulmate can't be another alchemist, though?"

Mona looked at her companion, the look on her face asking, 'You talking about yourself? You're the only other alchemist I know.' Verbally, she stated, "Then I suppose I would be happy, if anything because they understand me better than a regular civilian."

Plague Knight met her eyes and couldn't hide the resulting expression fast enough. It told her that it was exactly what he had been meaning. The look he hid it with said rather shakily, 'N-no. What gave you that idea?' She could almost hear the nervous chuckle at the end of the unstated question. It really didn't help his case that he was turning red again. "But if they're your soulmate, you'd be happy either way, right?"

Mona shrugged. "That would depend on how often they get on my nerves." She saw Plague Knight grimace and theorized he was thinking about how short her temper could be around all but a select few. Naturally, she was the most patient with her partner, even on the days where he acted as competent as Percy.

Speaking of Percy…

"I have your painkillers, dear Adam!" Said horse shouted as he burst through the door, scaring Plague Knight enough to cause him to jump back and once again ram his head into the wall.

"Dammit, Percy, you're not helping!" The Magicist yelled as she dashed forward, rather rudely attempting to push him out of the room. He was far bigger then her, though, and she merely got him to stumble backwards a single step. She kept trying, even though Percy merely stared at her in confusion.

While that was going on in the background, Plague Knight was left to groan unhappily to himself, feeling quite murderous. His rage towards the horse was only outmatched by what he felt for his kidnappers. Mona whispered softly to him that now is not the time to harm the creature; they still had a need for him, after all. This succeeded in stopping his outward signs of rage, though it let the pain he was once again in stand front and center.

The Magicist finally succeeded in getting Percy to back out of the room, stealing back the medicine and water before slamming the door shut with her foot. "Sorry, Plague," she apologized. "He started talking and I let it slip that I was getting you some painkillers. He stole them from me and dashed off. How he didn't spill the water is beyond me, but I suppose we should be grateful."

Mona took the glass and pills from the other woman, first handing the medicine over to Plague Knight, then the water once they was in his mouth.

After he downed the pills, he proceeded to curl up on his side, an action that Mona copied soon after. It was rather obvious that he was hoping the Magicist would not try to bring up the question that he had left unanswered. It was so obvious, in fact, that she was reminded of it and very nearly did. That is, until she opened her mouth and Mona turned her head to glare at her threateningly.

The Magicist got the message and turned to leave, stopping only when she heard a pitiful meow. Everyone within the room paused, and one could practically see the ellipses over their heads as they processed this. Finally, the Magicist turned around and looked down while Mona rolled over and looked over the edge of the bed with Plague Knight gazing over her shoulder.

"When did you get in here?" Mona asked while Xenon stared up at her as though asking, 'Well, are you going to let me up?'

"Xenon!" Plague Knight yelled happily, clamoring over Mona and falling off the bed. Xenon jumped, startled, but didn't get a chance to run as Plague Knight was suddenly holding her in a nearly bone-crushing hug.

The Magicist chuckled and said, "Easy now, you're going to hurt her."

"But I missed her!" Plague Knight whined.

"Doesn't mean you have to snap her spine."

Plague Knight frowned and loosened his grip. Xenon immediately jumped out of his arms and shook, trying to right the fur her caretaker had displaced. Once she was happy, she crawled back into his lap, purring loudly.

"Pick her up, would you?" Mona requested.

Though confused, Plague Knight did so. Xenon meowed in a displeased manner, but didn't cease her purring regardless.

Mona signaled to the Magicist, who then picked up Plague Knight and dumped him back on the bed. He hardly minded, though, as he was still nuzzling his kitten, who licked him in return.

Both females watched him with smiles on their faces.

"That's so sweet," the Magicist commented. Lowering her voice a touch, she asked, "You really wish you could get that level of affection from him, don't you?"

Mona looked to her with a frown, silently saying 'Quiet, he's going to hear you.' Regardless of this, she nodded slightly.

"I'm sure you'll get it eventually. Actually, I'm honestly surprised you don't get it now."

Mona nodded again and realized Plague Knight was glancing at them every so often. She got the worst feeling that he might be listening to them, so she asked the Magicist, "Weren't you going to leave us to our rest?"

The Magicist smiled sheepishly. "Oops," she responded before turning and exiting the room.

"Man, she's a nuisance," Mona remarked. She looked back to Plague Knight to find that he had put down Xenon and curled up on his side, seemingly already asleep. She figured that he knew that she knew he had been trying to listen to their conversation, and was trying to avoid the issue through rest. He didn't say a word about it, so she decided to not do so either. Instead, she allowed herself to slip back into unconsciousness.

I'm sorry to all those males out there, I hope you weren't offended by me basically calling y'all a pack of idiots. Just remember, women are pretty much just as bad, at least where I live, intelligence seems to be about 50/50, except in driving. Men seem to stop in inconvenient places, but the women do the more stupid shit while on the road. And also, go look up an oxymoron list. No joke, 'adult man' is on one of them. I'm not fucking with you; I remember hearing that at a buffet because one of us kids asked what an oxymoron was, and my mother whipped out her phone.

Also, I'm sure it's occurred to you now... What the fuck is the Magicist's name? Like, seriously, why would you not tell your co-workers about your name? Mona seriously referred to her as 'Magicist' during the first visit to town in Plague of Shadows, but that doesn't exactly make sense, why would you not tell anyone your name, dammit?