Oh fuck, I forgot about this, sorry! I blame lkcsi. I've been spending a lot of time writing Queen Propeller and chatting with her about... well, a shit ton of stuff, actually, the most important being why it would absolutely suck for Plague Knight to actually be a bird man. At least when you consider his human girlfriend/clearly future wife.

Also, it's official, this series is going to end with exactly 30 chapters, counting the first one! This is the longest series I've ever made that I've actually successfully finished. Yay!

Short 28

Plague Knight stared at his cat, not entirely sure what do to. Xenon, who they had forgotten in the Potionarium, was now left without the caregiver that she knew. Plague Knight wanted his kitten to realize that he was in fact Adam, but was worried on how to achieve that. He wondered if she would accept him solely through scent.

Deciding to test it, he slowly walked forward a step, crouched, and held out his hand. He didn't dare trying to speak, because, though he had yet to put too much thought into it, he figured his voice was deeper now that he was once again past puberty.

Xenon didn't move for a couple moments, but then took a step forward, hesitantly sniffing him. She was mildly surprised at the scent at first, but figured that he was at least a close friend of her caregiver, and thus rubbed against the offered hand in a show of good faith.

Plague Knight let out a relieved sigh and pet her head for a moment before standing and ducking into his room to change.

A moment later, he emerged, wearing his cloak and all of its assets again. He held his mask in one hand, and was feeling his cloak's fabric with the other, practically hugging himself in the process with a mildly surprised, yet comforted look his face.

"Did someone wash this with fabric softener while I was a kid?"

"I certainly didn't," Mona said even though she had been in no way involved with the process of washing the clothes for the past year. "You're probably just interpreting it as softer because you're more comfortable in it."

"Probably," Plague Knight replied, looking at the mask he held in his hands with a loving gaze, causing Mona to snicker at him. "Oh shush, you."

"No, I won't," she replied, lowering herself so she was at eye level with him.

"What are you…?" Plague Knight questioned as she stared intently at his face.

A broad grin spread on her face. "Yes, pretty fucking sweet indeed," she decided.

"What?" Plague Knight asked, not quite remembering their conversation from almost a full three weeks ago.

"Your eyes," she explained, pointing to her own as if to help him understand.

A moment of silence passed, and suddenly it clicked. "Oh right!" He shouted. He darted away into Mona's room and stared at his face. "So that's what my face looks like!"

Mona entered at a much slower pace than her partner, leaning against the doorframe when she arrived. "Doesn't your room have a mirror?"

Plague Knight spared her a glance for a brief moment before returning to looking at his face. "Does it?"

"I think it does. Now then, should we return to the not dying portion of your day?"

Plague Knight laughed nervously. "Uh, that would be wise. My gums are still bleeding, actually."

"Yeah, that's not good. Come on then."

Plague Knight nodded and started walking, putting on his mask while asking, "Hey, where'd the Magicist run off to?"

"Well, hopefully she's rummaging through our stock and finding you a health potion."

"Hopefully?"

"Yes, well, she may have just run off for all I know."

The two alchemists entered the side room where they stockpiled their potions and found that the Magicist was indeed there.

"There you are. Took you long enough. Do you seriously only have one of these?" Despite literally just expressing concern over how many of the tonics they had, she tossed the one she had found to Plague Knight in a rather haphazardous manner that indicated that she really didn't care.

"No, you just aren't looking in the right place," Mona explained while Plague Knight fumbled about, desperately trying to get a good grip on the bottle.

"Oh, so someone just put one, and only one, in a totally incorrect spot."

"Got that right." There was the sound of shattering glass and the two women looked behind them to find Plague Knight had ultimately failed to secure his grip on the bottle, and it had fallen to the ground.

"Oops," he muttered.

Mona chuckled and tossed him another one. The Magicist had to do a comical double take as she realized that they were right there in front of her all along.

This one he managed to catch with relative ease. He happily sucked it down and exclaimed, "Wow, I didn't realize how crappy I felt until now!"

"How?" Mona asked. "When I awoke this morning, you were nothing but a shaking lump. How would you not notice?"

"I blocked it out," he explained with a shrug, confused when he saw Mona had a thoroughly dumbfounded look on her face. "Is that impressive?"

Mona completely ignored this question and muttered, "I've been working with this guy for how long now? And he's been able to just shrug off the effects of poison this whole time?"

"Uh, Mona?" Plague Knight asked, waving a hand in front of her face in an attempt to garner her attention.

Mona looked down at him. "Yes?"

"What were you muttering about?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. Clapping her hands together, she suggested, "So, shall we go catch us a snake?"

"Sure, but how are we going to lure it out?"

Mona opened her mouth and paused. "I have no clue." She turned to the Magicist. "Does that book of yours say how to catch a snake?"

"No it does not."

Mona sighed. "Alright, we'll just have to improvise then. Let's see, we'll need a case to keep it in, and something to pick it up with."

"Hands," Plague Knight suggested.

"After what happened to you? I think not."

"I'm already poisoned, though."

"Yes, but another dose of the stuff will start to kill you even faster, and if that happens, you'll have to drink twice as many of our limited tonics. We cannot cover the cost of that."

Plague Knight clicked his tongue. "True. My staff?"

"That might be useful for batting it a small distance, but transporting it any farther won't work."

"We could always buy a fishing net."

"Does the town even sell those? We're not exactly right next to the sea here."

"They might."

"Magicist, go see if there isn't a fishing net for sale, would you?"

The Magicist raised an eyebrow. "And you can't do it because why now?"

"I'm going to search for our target. Plus, you're more likely to get the owner to open his doors at this time of day."

"Can't you just kill it?"

"…That would probably be the smarter move."

"Aw, but I kinda want a pet boomslang," Plague Knight said.

"No," Mona replied swiftly. "Any large number of things could go wrong with that. It could poison you again, you might forget to feed it, Xenon might try to play with it and get bitten… I could keep going but I think you get my point."

Plague Knight let out a small sigh. "Fine. You gotta admit, though, testing with its venom would be really neat."

Mona paused as this registered. "Okay, we're keeping it," she decided.

"Really, Mona?" The Magicist asked.

Mona looked to the Magicist, a somewhat offended expression on her face. "What? Think about what we could make with a poison like that! No one would be able to counter it!"

"How you manage to switch from sane to maniacal in beyond me," the Magicist commented.

Plague Knight smiled. "It's quite the interesting little quirk, isn't it?"

The Magicist rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I don't think I care anymore. Do whatever it is your little hearts desire. I'm not taking any responsibility. I still have to deal with the poor adventurers we left behind." The Magicist turned to leave, but then paused and waved Mona over to her side. When the younger woman was close enough, she whispered, "So… when you going to tell him?"

Mona's eyes widened. "Now is not the time for that!" She hissed.

"Yes it is, he's no longer a child, right? You gotta do it some time."

"No, not really. Not unless you force me to do it, but something tells me that would be quite painful for all involved."

"At least it'd get the truth out, though."

"Not necessarily. I could always yell to Plaguey that you've gone mental and tied me up or whatever. He'd help me out, no questions asked."

"Then I'll make a truth serum."

"Do you really want to know the unfiltered version of what goes on in my head?"

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds scary and I don't want to do it."

"Exactly. Let's face it, if anyone heard my rambling under the effects of a truth serum, I would most likely be deemed insane or a severe threat to the general populace."

"Oh, it wouldn't be that bad." Mona fixed her with a blank stare. "Okay, fine, if you say so. I won't do that, then."

"Yeah. Are you going to leave now, or…?"

"Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me. Be sure not to die too painfully."

The alchemists watched the magician leave with apathy.

"What did she say to you?" Plague Knight questioned.

"Nothing important," Mona lied.

"That's not true and you and I both know it."

"It wasn't important to me, how about that?"

"So it would be important to me?"

"It could be important to someone else."

"What 'someone else' do you know?"

"How do you know I'm not dating someone above ground?"

Plague Knight was silent for a moment before finding a hole in her logic. "Then why the hell didn't I meet him during my time as Adam?"

Mona cursed under her breath, wishing that he hadn't figured it out so quickly. "Fine, I'm not, alright? Can you please just let it go for now? I'll tell you when I'm ready."

Plague Knight looked like he was going to argue, but ultimately let it drop. "So are we going to kill it, or keep it?"

"Well, what are the benefits of keeping it?"

Plague Knight raised an eyebrow since she knew what they were, why was she asking? "We get to play with its venom."

"We'd have to take care of it," Mona countered immediately.

Suddenly seeing where she was going with this, Plague Knight smirked. "We could train it to automatically attack anyone it deems a threat."

"Your cat might get hurt."

Plague Knight opened his mouth and paused as he tried to come up with something. Finally, "It's adorable?"

Mona grinned. "I think you're losing this debate," she informed him before moving onto her next point. "Either of us could get poisoned from it."

"Dammit. Uh, intimidation factor?"

"How so?"

"We could… tell someone who's really afraid of snakes that we have one, and it can kill him!"

"Yeah, that's not highly situational at all."

"S-shut up! I'm trying here!"

"And I'm no help at all!"

"Fuck you and all you love!"

"Well, then you're in for a disappointing surprise."

"Wait, what?"

"It's settled, then. We're killing it."

"Can we still take the venom, though?"

"Unless we somehow cut it to ribbons."

Plague Knight nodded in resignation. "Fine, how are we going to kill it?"

Mona raised an eyebrow. "Bombs…"

"Oh right! I haven't gotten to play with those for so long now."

"It's been… what, two weeks since you last got to use them?"

"I know."

"So, off to kill a snake?"

Plague Knight smiled and nodded. "Off to kill a snake!"

And they went off to kill a snake.

That ending, man.

Whatever, one more chapter to go.