CHAPTER 3. ANA'S POV
I make my way down to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich and find him sat at the breakfast bar eating a bowl of soup.
I will give him credit. He's a health nut and keeps his body in excellent shape.
He ignores me when I walk in so I go to the fridge and just blank him.
I make myself a turkey mayo sandwich using the bread that Gail baked this morning and sit at the very end of the breakfast bar from him and pick up a magazine
He finishes his soup and then goes to the fridge. I see him pull out the same stuff I did and he attempts to make a sandwich.
He butchers the bread!
He tries to cut it but he ends up ripping it to shreds. He looks confused at why it is going wrong and I can't help but laugh causing him to glare at me.
"It's too bad I signed an NDA not to talk about you because this would be media gold. CEO Christian Grey murders bread"
"It's not me! It's the stupid blunt knife!"
I stand up and move him out the way with my hip. I take the knife from his hands and in less than ten seconds I cut two perfect bits of bread.
"Seems to be working fine for me" I shrug smugly and then re take my seat.
"Thank you" He grits out.
I have to hide my face behind my magazine when he makes his sandwich. His turkey is falling out the sides, the low fat mayo he grabbed is oozing out a hole in the bread at the top and the lettuce he used was soaking wet leaving his bread soggy.
He solders on and then takes his seat. He brings the sandwich up to his mouth and right before it gets to his lips the sandwich breaks in half and everything falls into his lap in a messy splat.
I really try to stop myself but I can't help the laughter that comes from me. The look on his face is priceless and he looks like he wants to murder the sandwich even more than it already is for daring to defy him.
I laugh so hard that I slump forward and start banging my hand on the counter top.
As I am laughing I feel something land in my hair. I reach my hand up and find a blob of mayo.
"Did you just throw this at me?"
"It's not polite to laugh at someone else's misfortune" He glares at me.
I cant believe he threw mayo at me!
Payback time Grey!
I pick up the crust of my bread and throw it at him and it smacks him in the forehead.
He looks enraged and then he scoops up the soggy mess in his lap and throws it at me hitting em straight in the face causing him to laugh.
We start an all out food fight with bread, lettuce, mayo, orange juice and cold soup flying everywhere.
"Just give up, Grey! I have the fridge on my side of the counter and I swear to God the next thing that goes over you is milk!"
"Try it Steele and I swear to God that I will take you over my knee and spank your ass!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
I watch in horror as he leaps over the counter and I end up over his lap. He lightly swats me on the butt and even though I don't even feel it, It infuriates me.
How dare him spank me!
I turn around and with all my strength I push him over and spank him right back.
I doubt it hurt him because his ass is hard as rock.
Instead of him being angry he starts laughing at me.
"What is so funny!"
"You are! You spanked me right back!" He starts laughing again and I can't help but join in.
We are both grown adults but we just had a food fight and spanked each other.
"We better clean this place up before Gail spanks us both" I tell him and we stand up.
He looks around at the mes sin the kitchen and shakes his head.
"I don't do clean up" Is all he says and then he starts to walk away.
"Hey! You made half the mess so you have to help clean it up!"
"Nope. I pay people to clean up my messes" He hollers at me and then leaves to his side of the house.
"ASSHOLE!"
Why is he such a jerk? We almost, almost, had fun for once and then he ruins it by turning into a jerk.
Reluctantly I clean the kitchen up and that when I spot his iPhone on the counter.
I'll teach him a lesson.
I grab his phone and make a few alterations.
Ha! Take that Grey!
Later that evening I am lounging in the TV room when I hear him stomping up the stairs.
"ANASTASIA STEELE!" He bellows.
"In here, Dear" I shout back sarcastically.
He burst through the door with his iPhone in his hand.
"What the hell did you do to my phone?!"
"I don't know what you're talking about" I shrug and go back to my TV Show.
He stomps over to the TV and rips the cord from the wall.
"Do you realize what you did? You almost cost me a huge deal! I am the CEO over a multi billion dollar company and you made me look like a fool!"
"What are you talking about?" I play dumb.
"You know what you did!" He manages to say between clenched teeth.
"What did I do?"
"YOU FUCKING CHANGED MY PREDICTIVE TEXT SO EVERY TIME I TYPED THE WORDS "YES" OR "NO" IT TURNED INTO THE WORD SEX!"
I start laughing but he is really mad so I try to compose myself.
"Got to hate auto correct"
"It. Was. Not. Auto correct! I had an email from the president of the Chinese import association and when he asked if we could get on a conference call I replied back with "SEX TODAY!"
Oh my God! I start laughing all over again and he actually stamps his foot.
"You know what, paybacks are a bitch, Steele!"
He storms out the room and vowing revenge but all I can do is laugh.
What can he do? He can't prove I changed that word.
"CHRISTIAN GREY! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"
I have just come home from work and I am furious!
As soon as I came through the door I started shouting for him.
"CHRISTIAN GREY!"
"Yes, Dear" I hear from behind me.
I spin around and find him smirking at me.
"I hate you! You are the worst human being on this planet and I hate you!"
"Whats wrong, Sweetheart?" He asks me in a baby voice.
I screw up the banner that I just found tapped to the trunk of my car.
"You did this! Do you know how humiliated I am?" My cell phone starts ringing again for the hundredth time today and because I am at breaking point I throw it on the hard marble floor and it smashes.
When the banner falls to the floor he starts laughing.
On my way to work this morning I kept getting beeped at. I didn't understand why and then my cell phone started ringing off the hook with numbers I did not recognize.
The people on the other end of the phone, mostly men but a few women, started asking me just how horny I was. I hung up on all of them and blocked there number.
It wasn't until I stopped for gas on my way home did I see the banner that had been taped to my trunk.
It read.
"My name is Ana and I am extremely Horny. Looking for someone to have a spanking good time with?. Call me" and then he had my phone number.
"You know, if you're that horny you should post to Craig's list. I heard that's very popular"
"You're an Asshole of epic proportions"
"And you're a bitch so I think we are even"
We glare at each other and then both stomp our way towards our wings of the house.
We are not even two weeks into this thing and we are already at breaking point.
How the hell are we going to survive the next eleven ad a half months!