Chapter 5

"Waiting Game"

Dr. McCabe held up a piece of paper for Annie to read. Tears silently ran down her cheeks as she read. Auggie still sat holding Annie's hand next to her. He knew Dr. McCabe had come over to Annie's bed, but was not cued into what was happening.

The paper read: 'Annie, you were quite ill. You had meningitis. It has affected your hearing. There might be other side effects as well; all of these could be temporary or permanent. We will do a hearing test to see how much, if any, hearing you have. Any questions?'

After she read the paper she closed her eyes, maybe this was all a nightmare, she thought to herself. Maybe I'm dreaming and will wake up and everything will be back to normal.

"Doctor. What's going on?" Auggie asked after several minutes of no one was saying anything. He knew Dr. McCabe was still there and he was holding Annie's hand so of course he knew she was there.

"Sorry Auggie, I forgot. I've just told Annie about her condition. Right now she has her eyes closed. It may take her a few minutes to process this."

"So this is for real, Annie can't hear?" Auggie said trying not to let his panic show. "What do we do next doc?" Auggie asked gently rubbing Annie's hand.

"Yes, it seems so, Auggie. First we will do a few tests to confirm the hearing loss that, while as obvious as it is, we still need to determine the level of hearing loss. We will also do several cognitive assessments and physical tests. There might be additional side effects to the meningitis." Dr. McCabe told Auggie.

"What kind of side effects, Dr.? Will her hearing return?" Auggie sat unable to move. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Furthermore, he couldn't believe that Annie wasn't hearing what he was. He brought her hand up to his lips and just held it. He couldn't be sure she was really with him right now. He knew she was physically there, but anything else was a loss for him. He couldn't tell by her facial expressions what she was thinking or feeling. She could be silently crying and he'd never know it.

"I can't answer these questions until we do more tests. Auggie there are a lot of potential side effects of meningitis and some may not even present right away. It could affect her personality, mood, balance, and memory. It can cause significant brain damage that might cause blindness, deafness, paralysis, and seizures. She's awake and alert right now. That's a good sign. I'm going to ask her some questions right now and perform some basic neurological tests."

"How doctor? She can't hear you." Auggie asked then added "Doc, how will I talk to her? If she can't hear me, how can we communicate?" Auggie said not really expecting an answer. Auggie simply put his head down on the bed next to Annie.

"I have them wrote on a piece of paper for now. Later I'll see about getting a tablet or computer in here that we can type on. I will verbalize my questions for you, she should be able to answer me audibly, but if she's not comfortable with that, I'll have her write the answers." Miles told Auggie.

Miles knew all about having family members with disabilities. His mother was bipolar, his younger sister, Julia, was born deaf, his older cousin, Jason, has been blinded in an accident before Miles was born, and his Aunt Maggie had been lost both her legs in Iraq. He was sympathetic to what Auggie was going through, he had learned sign language to communicate with his sister, but Auggie couldn't do this as easily as he had. He couldn't see Annie signing to him when she learned. Just as Jason had never really been able to communicate with Julia, he was not certain how Auggie and Annie could communicate now. But he knew they would work it out between them. He could see how much they loved and cared for each other.

Miles asked the questions he needed to and had Annie preform the cognitive and physical tasks he needed. He was concerned about her balance and memory. And he couldn't tell yet if her personality or mood were affected, that would come with time. She voiced all of her answers and he thought that might have been more for Auggie's benefit than for his. Auggie sat quietly beside the bed listening with his elbows resting on his knees and arms folded together under his chin. Annie stole glances at Auggie as the doctor questioned her. She got every question about him correct: when they started dating, what his name was, where they went on their first date, and so forth. But she couldn't remember what she did for a living, her nieces' names, or where she had last travelled to. Auggie wasn't sure if she was keeping her occupation a secret because she truly didn't remember it or if she didn't want make a mistake and anyone become suspicious that she was lying. He also wasn't sure why she wouldn't remember her nieces names, this concerned him more than her not knowing-or indicating that she knew-what she did for a living.

As Dr. McCabe continued asking questions, Auggie became lost in his thoughts. Annie was on the other side of the bed performing neurological tasks with Dr. McCabe. The tasks seemed pointless to Auggie, but he had been through them as well. The doctor needed to know where Annie's strengths and weaknesses were, if both sides of her brain were working equally, and her ability to remember pointless things.

Auggie couldn't help but think about how this would all affect Annie. Would she be able to do her job? He couldn't imagine having a deaf field agent would be a possibility in the DPD, especially one whose specialty was languages. She had been plucked from the farm early because of her amazing language skills, would she ever be able to use those skills again?

His next line of thought was a bit more selfish. He thought about how her illness would affect him. How would having a deaf girlfriend work for a blind man? It of course helped that Annie could speak, but how would he communicate with her. Technology? Would they now always have to have computers or something with them to talk to each other? As much as Auggie loved technology, he wasn't sure he liked the idea of this being his only means of communicating with his girlfriend. But was there any other option? As he continued listening to the assessments, he tried not to let these thoughts plague him. Annie was going to be okay, this was only temporary.

"How's it looking, Dr. McCabe?" Auggie asked when he sensed he was coming to a close on his testing.

"Auggie, everything is looking okay, considering the seriousness of this case, just a few concerns. Her balance seems to be severely impacted as well as her memory. There's no paralysis, vision impairment, or signs of seizures. There's significant muscle weakness, but hopefully that will improve over time. I can't tell about personality yet, you might be able to tell more than I can there. We'll take her to test her hearing next." Dr. McCabe said coming over to the side of the bed that Auggie sat on.

"When will we know if the hearing loss is permanent, Doc?" Auggie asked hesitantly.

"Auggie, there's not really a way to know that for sure. But we typically find that if it's going to be temporary, we will start seeing improvements in a next few days. But it all really differs from patient to patient. I'm sure you know that these things take time and there are no guarantees."

"Yeah, I've been in a similar position before, but as I'm sure you can imagine, I didn't get any miracles. I guess that's what we have to hope right now." Auggie said softly. He didn't believe in miracle cures, but he hoped just this once that the medical technology that couldn't help him would be able to help Annie.

"I'll do all I can. In the meantime, Annie is going to be pretty fatigued for a while. She will be on medication for several months. The meningitis could have effects on her for years. It's something she will always have to keep an eye on." Dr. McCabe explained.

"When can she go home?" Auggie asked uncertain.

"I need to keep her here for a least a few more days for observations and tests. After that she will probably have to come back for some physical therapy and if the hearing loss continues, she will need to learn how to cope with that. She might want to consider learning sign language or considering the level of loss getting a cochlear implant or hearing aids." Dr. McCabe said clasping his shoulder. "I'm going to take Annie down to the audiologist down stairs to check out this hearing problem. Do you want to go with her?"

"No, I'll stay here and make a few phone calls. I need to make sure our boss knows what's going on. But thank you for thinking of me." Auggie said surprised at the doctor's understanding of his needs.

Dr. McCabe left and someone came in to take Annie to get more tests done. Auggie helped Annie get into the wheelchair the nurse or someone brought to take her in. Once they had Annie in the wheelchair for the testing that would answer questions they had about Annie's hearing loss, Auggie grabbed his cane and went to call Joan. Before leaving, he turned to tell her he would be right back, but quickly remembered that she would not hear it.

He wasn't sure yet how to tell Joan about what was going on. So far she only knew that Annie was in the hospital with meningitis. She'd visited a couple days ago and shown her support and let him know that he had the next week off and to let Annie know she had the next month off. Auggie didn't question her generosity.

After talking to Joan and explaining the results the doctor had come up with so far, he made his way to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite to eat. The conversation with Joan could have gone better. She was astonished at how ill Annie was and concerned about the expected prognosis. Auggie tried to explain that they really didn't know if anything was permanent yet, but all Joan heard was the negative. Auggie couldn't let himself get caught up in the negative; he needed to be positive for Annie. She was going through enough right now without her having to see him worry.

After buying a sandwich, bag of chips, and a coffee he headed back to Annie's room.

Once back at the room, he ate his lunch in silence. Annie had finally been put into her own room after her fever broke. He was still taking the preventative medicine and Annie would be on antibiotics for several months according to Dr. McCabe.

As he was finishing up his sandwich, he laid his head back against the wall until he heard the room door open and the lights switch on.

"Hello?" Auggie asked when no one spoke for a moment.

"Oh, hi! A woman's voice answered him. "Sorry, I didn't expect anyone to be sitting in a dark room. I'm just here to change the linens and clean up the room a bit while the patient is out of the room; I guess I should have looked around when I came in." She continued.

"It's okay. I always forget about turning lights on." Auggie admitted.

"Whys that?" the orderly said. And Auggie lifted the open cane beside him. "Ooh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that you're—I'm sorry."

Auggie smiled and said "It's okay. You can say it, I won't be offended. I'm blind. It's a fact. You learn to deal with it." He said shrugging slightly. New people tended to be awkward around him. He was used to it. Well, most new people anyway.

"I guess you'd have to. Well, I better get to it. Do you need anything while I'm here?" She said kindly.

"No, I think I'm okay. Do you know when Annie will be back?" He asked listening to her strip the sheets from the bed.

"Shouldn't be long now. Are you family?" She asked grabbing the trash can and emptying its contents into a large trash can she had brought in with her.

"I'm her boyfriend." He said proudly.

"Oh, wow. How does that work? I mean, isn't she the one that's—and you're—." Auggie could tell the young lady was nervous about her question.

"We don't know yet. But yeah, I'm blind and she might be deaf. But, we'll work it out. We always do." He said more determined than he felt. Truth be told he was scared and honestly not sure how this was all going to work for them.

The orderly finished up in the room and left Auggie to his thoughts.

Author's Note: What are you thinking about this story so far? Like? Don't like? Confused? What would you like to see next?