Karamatsu and Todomatsu took turns taking care of Osomatsu. Todomatsu in the morning and Karamatsu in the afternoon until the evening. Karamatsu went to various interviews to look for a job during the day, while Todomatsu still worked at Starbucks at night.

Choromatsu did what he promised and called every night. Usually Karamatsu talked with him, sometimes it was their mother or even their father.

But no amount of hard work or sacrifice could cure his mind. Osomatsu still had his delusions.

The therapist told their mother that Osomatsu, aside from loneliness and the fear of being left alone, had also been harboring guilt and regret inside his heart and unless someone freed him from all those he would deny everything that would remind him of that pain. The therapist tried, but he told her that his family could help Osomatsu the best. The therapy continued though, professional help was still encouraged.

On a positive note, Osomatsu looked better now.

Totty groomed him in the morning, reminded him to eat and to take his medicine. He also made sure that Osomatsu never missed his vitamins. Soon, the color in Osomatsu's cheeks started to come back again.

Karamatsu would take Osomatsu at the baths at night. Osomatsu continued his ramblings even inside the bath but with Karamatsu beside him playing along, he almost seemed normal. Karamatsu assisted his older brother in cleaning himself but that's not new, even when they were complete it was always just Karamatsu beside Osomatsu when they scrubbed their backs.

Karamatsu would make sure that Osomatsu ate dinner, even if that was the worst time of the day for him. Osomatsu always talked to 'everyone' around dinner. He fought with his imaginary Choromatsu. He made jokes with the absent Todomatsu. He talked with the Ichimatsu inside his head and cheered the missing Jyushimatsu.

And whenever he did that, Karamatsu felt lonely. It was sad that he was the only one among the two of them that knew how empty the world truly was.

Sometimes Karamatsu would remind Osomatsu that they're not there. Sometimes he would stay quiet and listen to Osomatsu with Karamatsu's own mind imagining the world inside his brother's head.

Both decisions, though, brought nothing but pain inside his heart.

.

.

.

Karamatsu gently covered Todomatsu with a blanket. The youngest fell asleep on the table. Karamatsu recognized the clothes that he had worn last night and knew that his brother had fallen asleep as soon as he arrived. It must be fatigue.

Todomatsu stirred and saw Karamatsu in his suit. The older brother had an interview today and so he was dressed that way. Not painful at all. A perfect member of society.

"Karamatsu-niisan. Sorry I fell asleep. I'll go upstairs and change now."

Osomatsu had a therapy session scheduled today and so after resting a bit Todomatsu needed to go out again for that.

"Are you sure? You look tired. Maybe I can go with him today."

"No. You have an interview today. You should go there!" Todomatsu rejected, "I can handle this."

"Totty. You don't have to do this if…"

Todomatsu smiled, the smile reached up to his eyes. "U-un. I want to do this. Besides…"

Todomatsu pulled the blanket around him. His eyes sparkled anew as another memory gave him a bigger smile.

"Last time Osomatsu-niisan finally saw me! We were walking out of the clinic and I was walking behind him and mom when he turned to look at me. He said something like 'Hurry up Totty, we need to strategize when we get home'."

Todomatsu's voice suddenly shook, so he swallowed. "I know Karamatsu-niisan… I know that I shouldn't be happy about that but…"

Karamatsu could not say anything. He was happy that Todomatsu finally appeared in Osomatsu's eyes, but it was still in the context of that imaginary invitational. He was not sure if this was progress or not. He saw from Todomatsu's expression that he too was unsure. The youngest was indeed happy, but being swept away by Osomatsu's stories was something they should watch out for.

Karamatsu patted his younger brother. "I'm happy to hear that. That's very good news. We're reaching out to him in his world. He's going to be fine soon!"

Karamatsu saw the glow in Todomatsu's eyes. Somehow the fatigue drained away with the reassurance from him.

"Ok, enough about this!" Todomatsu exclaimed, shaking the serious atmosphere away, "Go to your interview Karamatsu-niisan and knock their socks off!"

Karamatsu smiled. Seeing Todomatsu like that, reassured him as well.

.

.

However, the gods of job-hunting, if ever they existed, were not smiling down upon him. He had two interviews lined up that day but both rejected him. He even had to beg again, but they still rejected him.

Karamatsu went home feeling like utter shit. Todomatsu was already at work and he was actually glad that his younger brother was not there to see him like this.

Karamatsu went directly to their room. The orange glow of the fading sun softly illuminated their room. The room was half dark and half lit by the setting sun, it was a gloomy orange red twilight. He was surprised a bit to see Osomatsu quiet today, usually he was talking to his 'brothers'. This time he was quietly staring at the window, god knows what adventure he was up to now. Karamatsu smiled weakly, at least one of them had no worries like this.

Karamatsu slumped on the floor with his bag open. The contents poured out, letting the copies of his resume, his sunglasses, and the two rejection letters scatter on the floor. He was tired though so he just let them be. He closed his eyes and breathed.

Karamatsu then felt something move beside him. He sat up and saw Osomatsu sitting beside him. To his utter shock, his older brother was holding the rejection letter given to him. Karamatsu scrambled towards Osomatsu and ripped the paper from his hands.

"You shouldn't see that!" Karamatsu almost raised his voice. He feared that seeing something like this might have negative effects on Osomatsu. This was the reason why he was like this.

Osomatsu ignored it though and continued to stare straight ahead of him. The smile that crept in his face told Karamatsu that he had 'seen nothing'.

Karamatsu sighed in defeat.

"I know you are in there."

Karamatsu muttered. Osomatsu could not hear him, he knew that. But this time, he just wanted to talk to him. He needed to talk to him.

"I know that this might hurt you, but I'm not giving up. I will not give up. I will move forward Osomatsu. I will be a better man!"

Karamatsu's shoulders then fell. It felt awful, his older brother was just there , but he had to remind himself that all his words fell on deaf ears.

"I will be a better man and you will be damn proud of me. I'll show you… and then… I'll take you with me. We'll overcome this together."

Karamatsu started to shake. He felt his chest tighten so he clenched his fist to attempt to stop these emotions from slipping through.

"But sometimes I ask myself.." He whispered not to his brother anymore.

Karamatsu's voice slowly cracked and tears filled his eyes.

'This is fine'. He thought. 'Totty's not here anyway. Mom's downstairs. No one is here to see me like this. This is fine.'

"What is wrong with me? What should I do to please them?"

Osomatsu's smile slowly vanished. But Karamatsu was not looking at him anymore. He had not seen the change in Osomatsu's face anymore.

"I tried not to be painful. I don't even wear my old clothes. I carry my sunglasses with me all the time… but..." He tried to remain calm by talking. He wiped the tears instantly, forbidding them to flow. "I don't wear them at all."

Osomatsu turned to Karamatsu. His eyes rolled to the sunglasses on the floor. He crawled towards it and picked it up. He looked at Karamatsu, at his crying little brother.

"I miss my old self… my real self… but it's too painful. I won't get a job if I'm painful. I need a job to support you and mom and dad. I wanted to help too. If you're like that I need to step up and be someone Totty, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu can look up to… "

Karamatsu continued to speak. He wiped his eyes and cheeks as soon as he felt something wet rolling down on his face. He clenched his fist and bit his lip now and then. He should not cry. But he had been keeping this for so long and somehow he just could not stop. He even had forgotten that someone was actually there in the room with him.

He had forgotten about it until Osomatsu himself made Karamatsu remember.

Karamatsu felt a hand on top of his head. Instantly Karamatsu stopped and looked up.

"There there" The elder brother whispered gently, rubbing his hand on top of his head,

No.

Karamatsu shouted inside the deepest pits of his heart. 'He could not hear you. This is just one of his delusions.'

Osomatsu then placed Karamatsu's sunglasses on his face. Karamatsu was even more surprised.

When he was already wearing it, Osomatsu pulled away and sat to look at his younger brother.

"There you are my painful-matsu..." Osomatsu said with a weak smile.

Osomatsu placed his finger under his nose and rubbed a bit, "this is bad." He said with a more cocky grin, "My Karamatsu-boy side is showing."

Karamatsu smiled. His eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses but the tears escaped from his eyes and finally rolled down his cheeks. This time he did not attempt to even catch and wipe it away.

"You don't have to change who you are. You are special. If they fail to see that, it's their loss."

"Bruzza..." Karamatsu said in awe. He had not spoken that word in ages that it felt foreign on his lips.

Osomatsu's grin grew as the light outside shone it last and the solemn night overcame the room.

"Let's go to the bath now Karamatsu!"

Karamatsu instantly stood up. A smile pulled his lips wide and all words left him, so he only nodded in agreement. He had never been more enthusiastic for a bath.

There Karamatsu thought, 'He's going to be fine. Soon.'

It was the middle of the night. The stars twinkle and the moon hung close to the earth. Karamatsu slept peacefully in the futon with a smile. Osomatsu had never seemed normal before. They went to the bathhouse quietly and talked about small trivial stuff like wondering how much the chocolate milk was somewhere else and how old that public bath was.

No grandiose stories of intergalactic baseball with aliens wiping them out and not once did Osomatsu mention the missing brothers.

Karamatsu stirred in the bed and faced the other side where Osomatsu laid. He opened his eyes a bit and closed it again.

Karamatsu's eyes then opened wide.

His brother was not beside him anymore!

Karamatsu jumped out of bed and hurriedly went downstairs. Not there.

Kitchen. Not there.

Outside. Not there.

Bathroom. Not there.

He checked the shoes and learned that all the pairs were still there. He had not gone outside.

But where could he—

Karamatsu looked up. "The roof!"

He hurriedly rushed to the roof. His breath caught in his lungs and the winds bite him with the coldness of the night.

Indeed, Osomatsu was there.

"Bruzza!" He shouted towards him.

Osomatsu turned around and looked at Karamatsu. His teeth were chattering and his face drained of color. He had been in this cold for a while.

"Let's go inside Osomatsu. It's c-cold in here." Karamatsu felt his jaw tighten and teeth starting to chatter as well.

"It is isn't i-it?" Osomatsu answered, "Honestly… it's feels like this is the first time I started to feel something . Everything was just so hazy and blurry until now. "

"That is good Osomatsu. Maybe we sh-should talk inside while eating something warm… l-like instant ramen?"

Karamatsu was actually bargaining. Aside from the fact that it was cold, Osomatsu was dangerously near the edge as well. As someone who had fallen from there, he knew that there were some places that you should step on and hold on to in order to survive the fall.

But that was the Karamatsu and he was aware of what was happening. Osomatsu might be talking to him right now, but who knew how awake he really was.

Falling right now in his condition would be certain death for him.

Osomatsu shook his head, "I'm sorry Karamatsu. I'm sorry for being a shitty older brother. I don't want you to be like that again. I don't want to push you into something like that again… you're so gentle and understanding and yet I… "

Osomatsu looked up to him with a large smile, "I disappointed you so much that you hated me like that."

Osomatsu rubbed his cheek and Karamatsu instantly felt the sting in his fist as well.

That was where he punched him.

"I am truly sorry." Osomatsu's voice forced cheerfulness.

It was the most crushing apology that Karamatsu had seen and it was all hidden behind that sorrowful grin.

"Don't do this Osomatsu!"

"It's ok." He looked around, "they said that we'll be playing in space again. They'll pick us up soon."

'He reverted back!' Karamatsu shouted inside his mind, 'This can not be good. '

The past few days that Osomatsu started to look better were all false hope. It was only a lie they made to themselves. Osomatsu saw Totty. Osomatsu acted normally with Karamatsu. Osomatsu slept better. Osomatsu started to eat. They were all thinking the same this — it was progress. He would be better soon.

But it was wrong, they were all wrong.

Osomatsu was far from being fine and Karamatsu was just angry at himself that it was him who drove his older brother to this. He just knew that it was those rejection letters and him being in a suit that made Osomatsu remember the reason why he ran away to the confines of his mind in the first place.

Who else would be at fault if not him?

Karamatsu was still in contemplation when he heard a soft sound. A sound that can only be heard because it was the dead of night.

A small jump.

A small fall.

A big mistake.

"OSOMATSU-NIISAN!"