Author's Note: I do not own Covert Affairs or its characters.

Chapter 11

"Learning Curve"

Annie dove right into her American Sign Language studies. She bought books, created flashcards, watched and practiced along with videos, and went to the School for the Deaf three times the week after first meeting the headmistress. Auggie was by her side the entire time, listening to the videos, feeling her mimicking the motions from the screen. Every once in a while, Annie would catch Auggie trying to sign along with the videos if he thought the audible description of the sign was adequate for him to attempt it. She occasionally corrected his movements, but for the most part, Auggie was simply sitting next to her as she worked.

Annie surprised herself by being able to work for hours at a time without getting too tired. She found herself almost excited to be learning a new language. She had not expected ASL to be so different from English. Before now she had simply thought every word in the English language would have a different sign with it. Now, she knew that, just like any other language, ASL had its own grammar, structure, mechanics, and so forth. Of course, it used the same words and meaning as English, but she was fascinated with the whole experience of it so far.

They went to the School for the Deaf on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday the follow week. Each time they went to the school, Auggie went with Annie. While Annie worked with a group of advanced level students, Auggie worked one on one with one of the teachers there. By the end of the first three hour session, Annie was able to say hello and goodbye, sign what her name was, tell about her family and their names, talk about wanting to go some places and knew several food, animal, and job signs. Auggie, on the other hand, was still trying to master just some basic words and understand the various hand shapes that signs used. He knew yes, no, please, thank you, come, go, hello, and help by the end of the first day at the School for the Deaf.

Annie felt awful for leaving Auggie so far behind her. She knew he wanted to learn too, but this first week she craved to know more and more the longer she spent working on it. The process was much slower for him, she knew. She knew she should do more to help him, but like all of her linguistic endeavors in the past, she found it difficult to direct her mind from the studies of the new language.

Auggie practiced the signs over and over, but was never 100% sure he was doing them correctly. He grew frustrated quickly throughout the process and just wished he could talk to Annie in the way they used to. He missed her voice so much. The silence that his world had become was almost maddening for him. He kept music playing constantly, just to have some kind of noise. He knew Annie was aware that he played music, but she never indicated that she was sad about not being able to hear it.

Even when he was around other people, the silence that permeated from Annie couldn't be made up for with other conversation. He hoped soon enough Annie would be comfortable talking to him again, if even just in their home. He could tell she was miles ahead of him already with learning sign language, he had known she would be, but that didn't stop him from getting frustrated. She was Annie Walker; she specializes in languages, of course learning a new language wouldn't be hard for her. Nonetheless, Auggie had hoped he would catch on a little faster than he seemed to be. He knew multiple languages, even the challenge of this language being completely visual, he had really thought he could do better. He had known the manual alphabet as a kid in boy scouts, but when practicing them with the instructor, she informed him, bluntly, that his memory of the letter formations was anything, but perfect. She explained to him that mastering the letters would be important to learning other signs because those basic hand signals that make up the letters and woven within the language in many other ways.

He tried to retain it all. He tried to practice it. But practicing seemed pointless when there was no one to tell him whether he was doing it right or wrong. He didn't want to get in the habit of signing things incorrectly. He tried very hard not to get frustrated with Annie, but she seemed wrapped in her own little world. Even when they were sitting next to each other, she seemed distant. He nearly constantly felt the air moving around her where she was undoubtedly signing away things he could not see or understand. It was obvious to him, simply by the speed at which the air flowed around him, that Annie's signing was already at a conversation level. He couldn't bear the thought of stopping her momentum just to take fifty steps back to help him with just the basics.

Annie noticed Auggie practicing the alphabet at times and felt proud that he was doing something so meaningful to help meet her halfway to where she was. She knew this process was hard on him, she didn't expect him to ever be able to be as fluent as she would be able to be in sign language. She often caught frustrated looks on his face that concerned her, but she wasn't sure how to address them. She knew it was unrealistic of her to think sign language would be their primary means of communication, but it helped just knowing he was trying.

Annie knew full well that she was going to have to start talking to Auggie, even if they did use sign language, he would never be able to see her signs unless they were touching on another, and that simply wasn't possibly one hundred percent of the time. If he signed to her from across the room, it would just be simpler for her to answer him verbally.

She almost hated herself for trying to continue a relationship with him when she didn't talk to him. She knew that sounds, words, and conversations were important to him. He could no longer rely on body language, facial expressions, or posture to determine a person's meaning behind what they said. Now, here she was forcing him to have no verbal communication right now.

It was all aggravating for him, she knew, but it was also the same for her. She missed sound so much. Simple things like the ding of the microwave, the roar of a fan, rain falling outside, car passing by, birds singing their song, and music. She missed music a lot. She knew Auggie played Mingus almost constantly, she often felt the vibrations through the apartment. She never commented that she knew it was playing, she did not want Auggie to think she was sad that he played it or anything. It was quite the opposite, she was grateful to Charles Mingus for being able to give Auggie something he very much needed right now. She enjoyed being able to feel the gently pulsations the soft music sent throughout the room. They could be felt best from the floor as she walked, the closer she was to the living room, the more she felt them. She was glad that Auggie could have the music instead of the silence her world had become.

On Saturday night as they had sat down to eat dinner, Annie noticed that Auggie simply was not himself. His shoulders were slouched, his head was down, and he had his hand around his plate as he ate his dinner. It appeared to Annie as though Auggie's confidence was somehow lower than usual. She realized then that she had not felt the vibrations of his music in the last day or so, nor had she seen him working on his laptop.

They had yet to really solve their communication problem yet, so they still used their phones as the main means of communication between them. Annie still used the PDA Auggie had made for her from time to time, but Auggie still needed to add a feature that could read aloud the text reply before that could be used between them.

As she continued to watch Auggie, a thought formed in her head. She picked up her smartphone that was now never far from her and texted him.

"Are you depressed Auggie?" She asked, watching him closely as she knew his phone would read off the text to him.

He replied immediately.

"What do you think?" He answered coldly.

As Annie read the text, Auggie got up from the table with his plate still half full. He deposited his dishes in the sink and walked over to the couch.

"We need to talk about this." She replied via text. She watched him closely now and saw him visibly wince a few moments later. She was immediately concerned at what might have made him wince, but stayed where she was.

"I want nothing more than to do exactly that. But you won't talk to me." He answered simply. It was then that Annie realized that the word "talk" had been the source of the wince.

Annie stood stunned as she read his reply. His mood was all her fault. She had been sentencing him to not only his life of blindness, but she had been forcing him to endure just as much silence as she was in. She knew sound was important to him since he couldn't see any longer. She didn't want to be forcing her silence on to him, but that was exactly what she was doing. She was forcing him to live in silence just as she lived in it.

"Auggie. I'm trying." She replied.

"Are you?" He answered back immediately. As she looked over at him, she saw the tension in his jaw and brows tightly together. He looked up as if trying to locate her in the room, she hated the he wasn't sure. She was standing in the dining room, while his head was tilted in the direction of the kitchen.

She understand what he meant. She was not really trying. She had not attempted speaking to him since they got home over a week ago. She'd even consciously kept her laughs to a minimum. She had told herself in the car as they arrived that she needed to try speaking, if to no one other than him, but she had not actually done it. Now it was, understandably, causing Auggie to be upset.

Author's request: I want to bring Dr. McCade back into the story, but I'm not sure how. If you have any ideas, please send them my way.