Chapter 16

Charlotte sat opposite her mother, her biological mother, awkwardly in the brew.

"Do you really even care about me?" she asked quietly.

Mary flinched, "Of course I do," she said firmly.

Charlotte looked away, still unsure.

"If I didn't care, don't you think I would have just kept blackmailing you and Jessica…" she sighed, "It wasn't easy for me to give up on that revenge, Charlotte."

"But mom gave you the money," Charlotte said softly, "Don't you see she doesn't want to hurt you? You're family."

"I've been thinking about it," Mary admitted.

Charlotte bit her lip, "And?"

"Being angry is exhausting," Mary smiled sadly, "But it's also addictive," she frowned, "And this thing you and her have – "

"It's not a thing," Charlotte cut in, "We're in love."

"It only started a few months ago, right?" Mary asked tentatively.

Charlotte nodded, "Yes and before you ask, she never took advantage. It was never like that."

"So you don't see her as your mother…"

"Of course I do," Charlotte frowned, "She'll always be my mom. She always has been. It's just a different thing when we're…together."

"So then, where do I fit into that?" Mary asked quietly, "If she gives you everything you need…"

Charlotte's eyes widened, "You're still my… mom," she said, "I want to know you. I want… to connect with you. But I'm not going to change myself or my relationships to make you comfortable, you don't have any right to tell me what to do. I'm an adult, I'm raised."

Mary nodded, "I can see that," she noted, "Well… don't we at least get to do some of the things we missed out on doing as you grew up?"

"Like what?" Charlotte asked nervously.

Mary thought, "Like couldn't I take you to the movies sometime? Have you over for dinner… Meet your friends…"

Charlotte bit her lip, "Well, sure that sounds okay. I don't really have any friends though, I mean other than mom and Alison," she shrugged, "I had friends in Philly but they weren't so much friends as party-buddies and I don't hear from them anymore."

"Well… I guess now I could be your friend?" Mary asked cautiously.

Charlotte smiled, "Sure. That sounds nice."

Mary returned the smile, "Great. And… just give Jessica and I some time, okay? I know it worries you…"

Charlotte was caught off guard by how well Mary could read her.

She nodded, "Okay, but you can be like… civil, right?"

Mary nodded, "Yes, Charlotte," she paused, "You know, we had some good times when we were younger."

Charlotte tilted her head, "You did?" she asked, "Mom doesn't talk about when she was younger much. What was she like?"

Mary hmmed, "Hmm, well they thought I was a troublemaker but your mom wasn't so innocent," she smiled, "She was just way better at covering her tracks. It was her who taught me how to sneak out of our house. Her window was the best for it."

Charlotte smiled, "Where did you sneak off too?"

"Parties mostly… to meet boys…" Mary rolled her eyes, "We used to break into the school. Just to hang out. Smoke up. That's when she taught me how to pick locks."

"I didn't know she could do that!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Mary laughed, "She was great at it. Quicker than I could ever be. But… she stopped there," she shrugged, "When we entered senior year, she knuckled down. Studied. She still went to parties but only if she'd done her homework."

Charlotte frowned, "What about you? Didn't you care about school much?"

"I didn't," Mary confirmed, "I suppose I fell in with the wrong crowd… we used to meet at this old ravine, get drunk… do drugs… I skipped out on school a lot. Jess still covered me," she sighed, "Then one day, we stole this fancy car to go on a joy ride. My parents lost it."

"Oh," Charlotte didn't know what to say, "But you were just a kid… sometimes kids do silly things, right?"

"Right," Mary smiled, "My parents didn't see it that way. Jessica was the opposite, top of the class, plans to go to college… she was easier to love. Why can't you be more like your sister, they'd say. I guess I stopped trying," she looked sad, "That's when I met your father…"

Charlotte looked surprised, "Was he in school too?"

"No," Mary shook her head, "He was a few years older and hung out at the ravine. It was never an ideal relationship but I did think I loved him…"

Charlotte bit her lip, "Was he always… violent?"

Mary sighed heavily, "No, not always. He was always… controlling, I suppose," she thought for a moment, "He was very possessive. Didn't like me talking to other guys, wanted to know where I was all the time… but he was very good looking, he had a job, albeit a crap one… I thought he was a cool guy. Plus, he had enough money for us to move out together and anything to get away from my parents… but once we lived together, he only got worse. That's when the violence began."

"I'm sorry," Charlotte said quietly, "Nobody should go through that."

"When I got pregnant with you," Mary continued, "I told him the violence had to stop. And it did for a little while. When you came along, I thought this was the life I was meant to be living. He worked a lot so we could afford a pretty nice place. He was good with you, he…he loved you. He was more attentive to me too. He was actually sweet… "

Charlotte frowned, "That sounds nice… but it obviously didn't stay that way…"

"No," Mary shook her head, "It didn't. The company he worked for went broke, he lost his job. He got another one, but he didn't like it and everything he made went on alcohol…and drugs. He started to… " she closed her eyes, "I said just don't do it in front of the baby but he didn't listen. He didn't care anymore. The sweet guy was gone. I was scared for…for myself but for you too. I refused to leave you alone with him…"

Charlotte bit her lip, "You don't have to talk about it. Really – "

"It's okay," Mary smiled, "It's your family history too. You deserve to know," she sighed, "That night, the babysitter left early. I'd told her not to but she left early…left you with him. I was having a go at him because he hadn't fed you and he was wasted. When I turned around to get you something to eat, he hit me from behind. It wasn't like it was particularly hard or anything new but something in me just… snapped. And I guess the rest is… history," she shrugged.

"They say a lot of women who put up with years abuse just snap one day. It's not a conscious thing, it just happens," Charlotte said, "I read about it. It's why they have the provocation defence or why some women go to…"

"Mental institutions," Mary finished for her, "You read a lot, don't you?"

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah, I like reading and researching."

Mary smiled, "Like your mom… Jessica, I mean."

Charlotte smiled; that was the first time Mary had ever called Jessica her mom, "She always read to me when I was little so yeah, I guess I picked it up from her. I was always top of my class in English," she said proudly, "Math too!"

Mary chuckled, "You definitely don't get that from me."

"Don't you like to read?" Charlotte asked.

"Hm, I don't mind reading but math I hate," Mary stated, "I'm not very academic."

"I bet you're really street smart though," Charlotte bit her lip, "I mean, I just mean…"

Mary laughed lightly, "It's fine. I know what you mean."

Charlotte was on the couch, tossing pieces of candy in the air and trying to catch them in her mouth. Needless to say, the floor was covered in various candies.

"Damnit," she muttered, missing again.

She heard a chuckle from behind her and looked to see her mom standing behind her.

"Oh, hey," she smiled sheepishly, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that even though you've been doing that since you were little, you're still not very good at it," Jessica laughed, walking over and taking the seat next to her daughter.

"It's hard!" Charlotte pouted, placing the candy on the coffee table in front of them.

Jessica grinned and picked up a piece of candy, throwing it up into the air and catching it between her teeth easily, before sucking it into her mouth.

"Not that hard," she winked.

Charlotte looked frustrated, her hands balling into fists, "You! That's so not fair. How did you… You cheated!"

Jessica laughed, "Cheated? How do you cheat at catching lollies in your mouth, silly girl?"

Charlotte frowned, trying to think, "Because… nobody could resist that mouth," she giggled, before kissing her mom's lips.

Jessica rolled her eyes with a chuckle, "Smooth, Charlie. Very smooth."

"It must have been hard… hearing about your father," Jessica sympathised, one arm around her daughters' shoulders.

Charlotte shrugged, "It was okay," she mumbled, "I mean… I'm really glad I never met him, to be honest. He sounds like a real prick. Mary said he loved me once… but I think if you love someone you love them forever, not just when things are easy."

Jessica smiled, "Again, you spout words of wisdom," she played with the ends of Charlotte's hair absently.

"She told me some stories about you too," Charlotte claimed.

Jessica looked wary, "Oh, she did? Well, you know… don't believe everything you hear."

"It wasn't anything bad, mom," Charlotte smiled, "She said how you used to sneak out your bedroom window and you picked the lock of the school!"

Jessica laughed, "Should I be worried that you sound so impressed?"

Charlotte grinned, "You sound like such a rebel!"

"Well, I was a teenager," Jessica shrugged, "Anyway, I settled down senior year."

"Yeah, she said that too," Charlotte nodded, "Being badass is only fun for a little while, I guess," she mused, thinking of where it had all landed Mary.

Jessica leant her mouth close to Charlotte's ear, "You know, I can still be naughty sometimes," she slowly ran a hand up Charlotte's leg.

Charlotte swallowed, "Oh yeah?" she asked, licking her lips.

"Mm, very naughty," Jessica whispered, squeezing Charlotte's thigh as she began to trace her lips down her daughters' neck.