Laurelin was gathering Thorin's clothes to wash them at the river when she heard him move in his bath, on the other side of the closed door.
« Prince Thorin, is there anything you need ? » she asked through the wooden panel, without entering, to allow him some privacy.
« I am fine. » he replied in a sharp voice.
Laurelin tried not to feel hurt by his curt answer. She knew it was hard for him, to be treated like a cripple who needs assistance day and night, even for the most simple tasks of daily life. He was a proud man, and he hated being so weak, and what he hated even more was for anybody to see him in such a state. It made him grumpy and unpleasant. Laurelin knew she should just ignore his bad mood – she had done no mistake, and his anger was no more than the result of several days of frustration – but she couldn't. She was too devoted to him to be able to act as if nothing was wrong. She aplogized several times before walking away, her throat tight and her eyes filled with tears.
A few moments later, she heard Thorin crawl out of his tub. His right knee was still stiff and swollen, which made it very hard for him to bend his leg. His moves were clumlsy and ungraceful, but this time Laurelin didn't ask him whether he needed help. She was kind and good-hearted, but she had no desire to give him further reason to vent his anger at her. It's only when she heard him fall and swear, a few moments later, that she decided to see what was happening in the other room. She knocked, but Thorin didn't answer. She entered anyways – what if he is unconscious ? - and blushed when she saw him half-naked, wearing only his trousers. She cursed herself for acting so rashly, once more. She turned around and walked out of the room again, mumbling sincere apologies without looking at Thorin.
« Laurelin ? » the Prince called her. « I need help to put on my shirt. » he admitted grudgingly, between clenched teeth.
Awkwardly, he picked up the white linen shirt and shoved it into Laurelin's hands as soon as she was close enough. She nodded, and did her best to help, but Thorin's left arm was still very stiff and bruised, and every move was making him wince in pain, and they had to struggle for a while till they managed to get it into the sleeve. Laurelin tried to touch Thorin's skin as little as possible, as if she would burn her fingers if she touched it. Being so close to Thorin made her feel particularly ill at ease, when he was in such a sour mood. Sometimes, she wished he would open up and talked to her about the battle – sharing a burden always made it lighter to bear – but he just kept silent and sullen, and a mere serving girl like Laurelin had no right to question her prince. It would have been far too inappropriate.
« We're almost finished. » she said as her fingers worked on the last button of his shirt.
Thorim grumbled, and Laurelin almost teared up in front of him. It had been like that for two days, now. He was either angry, or brooding, or annoyed at something. It was not the Thorin she used to know, as if one man had gone to war and another one had come back, full of bitterness and resentment.
Of course, he was like that with everybody, not only Laurelin – with Balin and Dwalin, with the healers, and even with his beloved little sister Dis. Not two hours ago, she had come by to visit him and he had ended up yelling at her, too. Only Dis was strong-willed and stubborn, and she didn't let Thorin's bad mood reduce her to tears You stubborn old mule, she had yelled back at him, her arms crossed over her ample breasts. Laurelin had gaped at her, completely shocked to hear someone call Thorin a stubborn old mule, as if he were no more than a rude child being told off by his mother. I know you're suffering, but you're not the only one, and that's certainly not a reason to treat us as all like a bunch of mangy dogs. Then she had walked away from him, with tears on her face and sparks of utter fury in her dark eyes. But she had smiled at Laurelin. I admire you courage, she had told the young servant. It is very noble of you to stay at his side even though he's acting so wilfully, but no one could blame you if you decided to spend a few days away from him. You'd be very welcome in my own housen for a few days. I could need some help with Fìli and Kìli, now that my husband is wounded and needs constant attention. And it would serve Thorin right. Let him be alone for a few days, or even a fortnight. Let him brood and sulk. Get away from him, and wait for him to give you the apology you deserve. Laurelin had been very tempted for a few moments, but in the end she had refused her proposition, saying that her duty was with Thorin, in good times but also in bad times. As you wish, the Lady Dis had replied. But if you change your mind, you know where my house is. And don't let him bring you down. If he goes too far, tell him. Or tell me, and I'll ring his bells for you.
Laurelin took a deep breath to swallow down her sobs. She would not cry in front of Thorin.
Once she was done with the shirt, she combed his thick black hair and braided it tightly, to keep it away from the wounds.
« I need to shave and trim my beard, too. » he said sternly.
This was something Laurelin could not do herself she had never learned to, and besides she would have been far too frightened to hold such a sharp blade against the tender skin of his throat.
« I will get Zharhaìn. » she said dutifully.
« Yes, please. » Thorin replied. Yet when the maid reached the door, Thorin called her back, quite unexpectedly. « Laurelin ? »
« Yes, Prince Thorin ? »
« I just... » He looked suddenly quite embarrassed. « I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for my awful attitude, these last days... It is... Yes, it is difficult for me, but my sister was right. It's no excuse to bark orders at you like you're just some dog, or to treat you unfairly. You deserve better, but I am grateful you choose to stay at my side in spite of my unworthy behavior... »
Laurelin, taken aback, blushed deeply.
« My place is here, at your service, Prince Thorin. » she said quite formally.
« I insist. » he said. « I know I'm giving you a hard time, when your life is so hard already. » Suddenly all the anger was gone, and his voice was tinged with sadness when he continued. « I... I don't like being like that. I wish I could just... » He sighed, then he shook his head. « All these pictures in my head. These awful pictures... I wish I could them wipe out of my memory, but I can't. And I just... »
He never finished this last sentence. He just shook his head once more.
« You don't have to justify yourself or to give me any explanations. » Laurelin replied. « You don't own me anything. »
« Yes, I do. » he insisted stubbornly. « I can still see them all... The dead Dwarves... my fallen warriors... My grand-father's head rolling at my feet... My little brother... All dead... So many corpses... The ground was covered with them from horizon to horizon. The earth had turned into mud from all the blood that was shed. And every time I close my eyes, I see them standing in front of me. They're dead, and their empty eyes are staring at me accusingly... They're wondering why I am still alive, while they are all dead and rotting in their tombs... They're waiting for me in the halls of Mahal... They... they hate me, Laurelin. It's my family that led them to their doom, my family that convinced them there was hope when in reality there was none... And the Orcs... so many Orcs... When I sleep I am plagued with nightmares, and when I am awake I am riddled with doubt and guilt, like a rotten apple with worms. There's no rest. Sometimes I wish I would have died, too. Anything would be better than enduring this torture, day after day. »
Then he put his face in his hands, as if he wanted to hide himself from Laurelin.
Moved by the depth of his grief and torment, she clutched her heart with one hand. This was a side of himself he had never shown her before he was not the Prince anymore, not this Thorin Oakenshield everybody talked about with awe in their voices. What Laurelin saw in front of her now was the man hiding underneath the glorious titles. He was almost vulnerable. Laurelin wished she could do something for him, to ease his pain.
« Prince Thorin, I... » she started, but she didn't know how to continue. She was pleased that Thorin had decided to confide in her at last, and more than anything else she was happy to see his anger had vanished. « It was not your fault. » she said softly. « You couldn't know how it would end. No one could have predicted it. You can't blame yourself. »
Thorin's eyes studied Laurelin for a long time, as if he saw her for the very first time.
« Why are you still here with me ? » he asked wearily. « I heard what my sister told you. Why didn't you go with her ? »
« I pledged my life and service to you. » she explained. « Not to your sister. »
« I don't deserve to have someone at my service, even less someone as kind as you are. » he said, still staring intently at her.
She blushed a deep red.
« Thank you, Prince Thorin. » she said.
« Laurelin, please don't judge me too hard. » he answered, almost begging now. « I know I've been giving you a hard time, these last days, but... I promise you that I will do my best to act more honourable, from now on. And if I ever... if I ever treat you again in a way that you consider inappropriate – be it tomorrow, or next week, or in ten years – I allow you to yell back at me. Maybe you should take some lessons with Dis. She's always been good at that. » Thorin joked.
Laurelin couldn't help but smile as she remembered the 'stubborn old mule'. Suddenly, the atmosphere was a bit lighter.
Thorin took her hand in his she didn't know why, exactly – maybe to feel closer to her ? - but she enjoyed the physical contact anyways. His hand was rough and scarred by battle, but it was big and warm, and strong. He was looking at Laurelin pleadingly.
Laurelin watched her own little hand as it rested against Thorin's, for a long while, her mouth ajar with disbelief. She looked up at him inquiringly, but before Thorin could add anything Laurelin felt her own fingers entwine with the Prince's.
« I... I don't know what to say... » she admitted. « But... I know you've suffered a great loss, and it must be so hard for you... and you're wounded, too... » She stopped. « There's nothing for me to forgive you. » she said finally, but the words were in contradiction with what she was truly feeling , and they sounded wrong even to her own ears. She decided to be honest with him, since he had been honest with her. « It's just hard for me to hear you talk to me like that, Prince Thorin. You're hurt, and I see you are in pain, and I just want to help... It's not pity, Prince Thorin. There's nothing for you to be asamed about, and you don't have to... » She stopped, and had to take a deep breath before she could say any more. « There's so many things in my life, right now, that are going wrong... Sometimes I just feel like I'm nothing, and once my grand-mother will be dead, no one will care for me anymore. I will be all alone in the world. And it frightens me, Prince Thorin. It really frightens me. And the only thing that used to give me comfort, in the midst of all this turmoil, was the knowledge that I would always have my place at your side, working for you and making your life as pleasant as possible. Only now... when I hear you talk to me like that... »
Her voice was soft and low, without even the slightest hint of anger - just sadness.
« Now the idea of being in my company doesn't bring you any comfort anymore. » he finished for her. She lowered her eyes.
« I am sorry. » he said. « I am not blind. I know how hard it is for you. I know you struggle, too. » He tightened his grip on her hand. « Give me just another chance, Laurelin. Please... »
She nodded, unable to say anything. Her soft brown eyes were wide open, shining with emotion. She enjoyed Thorin's strong grip on her hand. It was reassuring, and comfortable, and when he released her again she felt suddenly very vulnerable.
But Thorin was smiling at her, now. A real smile, not a fake one.
« Thank you. » he said gently.
He got up, and walked slowly away, limping on his wounded leg.
Instinctively, without even thinking, Laurelin grabbed his hand before he was out of her reach. Her long slender fingers curled up around Thorin's, to keep him from walking away. The Prince of the Dwarves stiffened in surprise, but he didn't remove his hand, though. He looked at Laurelin for a few seconds, then he eased off and gave her time to speak he was startled by this unexpected reaction of hers, but definitely curious to hear what she had to say.
« Please... Don't run away from me. » she pleaded in a very soft voice, sounding almost like a mother trying to soothe a distressed child. « Talk to me, Prince Thorin. Don't keep all these things inside, or they will eat you up like poison. They will turn you mad. Stay here with me, and talk to me. Share your burden. Please... » This time she was able to look him in the face. There was nothing but kindness and sympathy in her eyes. For a moment she seemed to lose all countenance she started fidgeting nervously and looked away, and then she got her emotions under control again. She stared at Thorin once more. « My mother... She always encouraged me to talk about it, when something was bothering me... I remember, when I was little and when I was having nightmares, she always sat next to me on the bed and made me tell her everything... She said talking about it was the only way to make them go away. »
Her voice was hesitant – it was the first time she was talking about something so personal with Thorin – but she was determined to go to the end of this discussion. For Thorin's sake. She was ready to hear him out, and to give him all the compassion he needed to recover from this trauma.
Thorin hesitated. He had hidden everything behind thick walls made of pretense and fake courage everything that had happened during the battle, every pain, every grief, he had just pushed it all away and locked it into a remote corner of his mind. It was still hurting him there, hurting him from the inside every minute of every hour of every day – but at least he could pretend he wasn't affected. A prince could not be seen as weak by his people, or else they would lose all faith in him. And it was even more true for the King he had now become ; he was Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of Durin's folk, the one they would all follow, and he had to be strong enough to keep them all going, even when they felt they could not go any further. He had to be the one whose determination would never falter. The facade he had so meticulously built to hide his fears and anguish was strong, like the impanetrable ramparts of a castle, yet somehow his walls started to crack as he looked into Laurelin's soft, pleading eyes. Something about her made his heart melt. The prospect of telling her what was gnawing at him was tempting, but also frightening he knew that if he lowered his walls, even if only a bit, everything would pour out of him like a river of pain and suffering... Everything he had so carefully hidden would lay bare in front of her, and then she would see... well, she would see into the core of Thorin's soul. Never before had he allowed anyone to be so close to him – not his grand-father, not his father, not even Frerin.
He looked at Laurelin – sweet, soft and loyal Laurelin, always so willing to help...
Would it really be so bad if she knew ?
As Thorin's silence lingered, the young maid insisted :
« I have seen death, you know. » she said gently, in a whisper. « The day Smaug came to take Erebor from us, I have seen more death than I could stomach. I still remember every detail as clearly as if had happened yesterday. The screams... The smoke... The smell of... of burned flesh as our fellow Dwarves burned alive in the dragon's fire... » She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued. « I saw my parents die. I can understand... I've been through it, too, Prince Thorin. I know how it feels when all the people you love are suddenly gone, and it feels like somebody ripped out your own heart because the pain... the pain is... »
She couldn't say any more. Her throat was too tight. Talking about this had awakened her own grief, making old wounds bleed again.
Thorin sighed deeply. He realized their fingers were still entwined. He felt a rush of genuine warmth and gratitude.
« I'm sorry for you loss, and I am even more sorry you had to relive it again because of me. » he said. He gave Laurelin's hand a comforting squeeze, cursing himself for having made her talk about these things. Why is it always so hard to forget the horrors of the past ? Why do the bad memories always come back to haunt us, even so many years later ? Whay can't they leave us in peace ? What do we have to do te get rid of them ?
« I am all right... » she said, then she paused. « I know how hard it must be for you, after you've been through, but you are alive, Prince Thorin, and you are not alone. » Laurelin continued. Somehow, she had managed to put aside her grief, and was now gaining confidence with each word. « And we need you. We would be lost without you to lead us. »
« How am I supposed to lead the Dwarves, when I do not even know what to do with myself ? » he aksed, a bit sharply, but this time Laurelin understood his anger was directed at himself, and only himself.
« Master Balin told me what happened during the battle... » she said. « He told me everything... How you fought Azog, with nothing but an old branch to shield yourself against his blows... Balin's voice was filled with awe as he told me about your courage and your fortitude. He said he had never seen another Dwarf as brave as you are. He has faith in you, and so do I – and now more than ever. »
« How can you have faith in a loser ? I brought my people no glory, not even a true victory. I brought them nothing. »
« You were not alone in taking that decision... » she reminded him gently. Actually, according to the Lady Dis, Thror had been the first to suggest the idea of reconquering the Moria. Thorin had only followed his grand-father.
« But all the others are gone, so all the guilt goes to me. » Thorin replied. He wasn't whining or complaining about it, like a lesser Dwarf would have done – he was simply stating the hard and unpleasant truth.
« You still have a choice, Prince Thorin. Either you can let the bitterness eat you up, and then you will truly be a loser ; or you can choose to learn from your mistakes, to become a better King than your ancestors used to be. Stronger, harder, tougher – but also wiser. » She was flustered now she was not exactly sure whether a serving girl was allowed to talk like that to her master, and she feared she was overstepping Thorin's authority, but his hand in hers gave her a courage she had never expected to find within herself.
« When I was young, my grand-father used to talk to me about the glory of Erebor, and how it would all be mine some some day, when I would be old and wise enough. » Thorin said, his voice so low it was barely audible. « But now... Look at us now, Laurelin... » He put his second hand over hers, as if he could draw strengths from her touch. She blushed, but her thumb brushed Thorin's very softly. If he needed comfort, she would not refuse him this small kindness.
« They are all dead, now... My grand-father, the mightiest Dwarf I have ever met, lies cold and still at the bottom of a dark tomb... My father has vanished from the surface of the earth, and we can only imagine what terrifying fate awaits him now that he is lost and far from his kin... Even Frerin is dead... My little brother... » A bitter-sweet smile stretched Thorin's lips. « I still remember him when he was a little boy. He always wanted to use my own weapons, when we sparred on the training grounds, even though they were too heavy for him. He always wanted to prove he was as good as me. He was so silly. We all knew his valor. He was the only one who could not see his own worth, and now he's dead, and he will never... » The words died in Thorin's throat. It took him a few moments before he could talk again. « He was my little brother. I was supposed to protect him. To keep him from harm. But then suddenly there were Orcs everywhere, and I lost sight of him, and next time I saw him he was lying on the ground with a dozen of black arrows piercing his body. »
« He died honourably, with a sword in his hand, and I am sure he killed many Orcs before he was brought down. » Laurelin said with conviction.
« Yes, he died honourably, and he had no reason to be ashamed when he joined our ancestors in the halls of Mahal. » he said sadly, with a disheartened smile. « But that doesn't make it any easier for those who are left behind. »
She agreed. Then, Laurelin saw tears glistening in Thorin's eyes, but he didn't let them fall. Even now, he was still holding them back, trying to be strong and brave. Someone else might have overseen how distressed he really was, but Laurelin knew him well, by now, and nothing escaped her. It touched her, though, to hear him open up like that.
« They say I am a king, now... They all look up to me for guidance... They expect me to tell them what to do... Balin, Dwalin, my sister... Everybody is so sure I will do what is best for our folk... Even you, Laurelin... You look at me with such faith in your eyes, and you just told me you still believe in me – but don't you understand that I don't deserve it ? I've let the King die... I've let my little brother die... I've let all my fierce and faithful warriors die... Even my sister's husband will probably not make it, if what Oin says is true. The little ones will grow up fatherless, because I wasn't there to protect the man who loved them so much, as I should have done. They're all dead, and I am alive. »
He spat the last word with anger and resentment, and only then did Laurelin truly understand how much Thorin blamed himself for everything that had happened, and how much this burden weighed on his shoulders.
« They call me a king, but no king had ever been more unworthy of this title. » he continued. « We... we're nothing but a bedraggled heap of survivors... The glorious future my grand-father used to talk about had turned to ash and dust. His dreams are as dead as he is now. And I don't know what to do, Laurelin. Where will we go ? How will we survive ? We cannot go on like this forever, living on the roads, begging for work in the towns of men, counting on the generosity of others to keep us alive – but what else can we do ? I am lost, Laurelin. Completely lost in the darkness. »
Laurelin waited a few moments, to be sure he was finished, before she answered :
« We would all be dead already, if not for you, Prince Thorin. » she said gently, then she corrected herself. « King Thorin... » she added, with respect and deference. « With all due respect to your honourable family, it's not Thror, or even Thrain, who saved our people after Smaug's attack. It's you, and only you, my King. You did everything in your power to keep us all alive. » Since Thorin's face was now expressionless, she hesitated. She was not sure whether she could keep talking or not. « You... you don't have anything to prove anymore, since you already proved yourself so many times before... Each and every Dwarf here believed in you before, and believes in you even more, now, after they heard about your fearless battle against Azog. No one is more worthy than you to be called our King, » she added humbly.
Thorin sighed deeply and watched their hands, that were still entwined. Both of them were reluctant to let go.
« And besides, if you hadn't killed the evil armies swarming from the Moria, they would probably have reached us here within days. » she continued, her voice filled with terror at she tried to imagine this dreadful scene. « The women, the children, the elderdly people... All those who can't fight... the Orcs would have slaughtered us all, just like they did with your warriors. We... we owe you our lives, once more, my King. » She smiled sadly, and lowered her eyes. « I just wish the price had not been so terrible for you... »
Thorin nodded slowly, then he unwillingly released his grip on Laurelin's hand.
« Thank you for your kindness. » he said with sincerity. « Your words are soothing, and you, Laurelin – you are a blessing. »
She blushed once more. After several days of enduring his bad mood, this was almost too much. She was still wondering if she had heard correctly, or if her ears had tricked her into hearing what she wanted to hear.
« Our world is vast, my King, isn't it ?» she asked nervously, still flushed with emotion. « There must be places where we haven't been yet, and where we might settle. I have heard some other women talk about the fertile lands in the west, while we were washing our laundry together at the river. They talked about mountains, too. The Blue Mountains, they called them. It would be a long journey to reach them, but... »
Hope was shining in her eyes as she looked up at him. The prospect of having a home again, one day, was making her heart beat faster.
But will he listen to my suggestion ?
« The Blue Mountains, yes... » Thorin said, almost dreamily. « Balin talked about them, too... And I'm starting to think you're both right. I wanted to stay here, close to Erebor, just in case... in the hope that one day we might have a chance to chase away the dragon... It was improbable, but not impossible... And I clung to that hope like a drowning man to a wooden plank... But maybe... » He smiled at Laurelin. « Maybe our future truly lies in the west, and not here in the east. »
His smile widened, and Laurelin knew he was taking her seriously indeed.
« I need to leave you, for now. » he continued. « Even a wounded King had duties to attend to, and delaying them will not make them any easiers. Thank you, Laurelin. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. »
« You're welcome. » she replied, bowing deeply.
She watched him limp out of the bedroom, and heaved a deep sigh.
A week later, Thorin had more or less recovered from his wounds, and he had regained most of his autonomy. He could go about his daily activities without need of somebody at his side all the time, which was a great relief. He had visited poor Dis, whose husband had joined the halls of Mahal a few days ago, after a long and hopeless battle against the fever born from his festering wounds. Dis was devastated, of course, but she was also strong and Thorin knew she would survive her grief, if only for the sake of her two boys, who needed her more than evern now.
The day was warm and pleasant, and he had a few hours of freedom ahead, so he decided to pay Laurelin a visit. He had barely seen her, since their long talk, for she had been very busy with her sick grand-mother Thorin had missed her, but he could also understand the old woman needed her more than himself, right now. It was only natural the Laurelin stayed at her side. He reached the small house where the two women lived it was small, with walls made of wooden planks, and no glass panels in the windows. The garden he saw behind the house, though, was neat and well-kept, with not a single weed sprouting from the earth. He knocked at the door and announced himself, expecting to see Laurelin open the door, but obvisously she wasn't home.
« Enter, please. » The voice of the grand-mother was weak and weary.
Thorin did as she told him, and entered into a small and dark living room smelling of smoke and drying herbs. At first, Thorin didn't see the grand-mother, then he spotted her on a straw mattress, near the fire. She was buried under so many layers of furs and blankets that she was almost invisible. She looked old and tired, and it was obvious she would not last any longer than a few days – yet her eyes were still sharp, as well as her mind. That must be terrible, Thorin reflected. A clear mind in a broken body. She knows she is dying, and there's nothing she can do about it. Just wait, and wait, and wait.
« It is an honour to welcome you in our humble home. » she said with a weak smile, revealing a dark hole where her teeth should have been.
He talked with her for a few moments, and he told her how much he appreciated Laurelin.
« So you are satisfied by her work ? » she asked in a trembling voice.
« Completely. You can be proud of her. »
« I am... » she replied tenderly, then she paused to recover her breath. Even the simple act of uttering a few words was draining her. « I wish I could have lived long enough to see her marry, and to meet her children, but the gods have decided otherwise. Several men came to talk to me about her, but Laurelin didn't show interest in any of them. » Another pause. « But someday, I know she will find someone she truly wants to share her life with. My King, I know I am in no position to ask anything from you, but she has great respect and admiration for you. She will listen to you. When the day comes for her to choose a mate, I'd like for you to make sure he is worthy of her... »
« I will. » he promised her without a single second of hesitation, even though he didn't like the idea of Laurelin finding a husband. He really appreciated her presence and her good work, and his own life would be very empty without her. The very idea of a man putting his hands on her was making him uncomfortable – probably because of the ugly things those two brutes had done to her, so many years ago. He wanted to keep her safe under his wing, to protect her like he hadn't been able to protect those who had followed him into battle. If something happened to Laurelin, it would be unbearable for him ; not only because she was – as his servant – under his protection, but also because she had taken a very special place in his life, over the years. He couldn't even imagine his life without her standing at his side, quiet and discreet yet always present, always ready to help and to serve. He cared for her like he cared for no one else, except maybe Dis and her children.
Barely a few moments later, he heard Laurelin's light footsteps as she entered the house. She startled as she saw him.
« King Thorin, is there something wrong ? » she asked, looking worried. « Do you have need of me ? »
« No, nothing's wrong, Laurelin. » he said gently.
« So... Why are you here ? » She realized the question may sound a bit rude, but she was so surprised by this unexpected visit that she didn't really know what else to say.
« I spent the morning among bickering Dwarves. I've heard more than enough shouts and curses. I'm tired, and I long for your quiet and comforting presence – if you have time for me, of course. »
She blushed deeply, but at the same time she couldnt help but smile. The fact that Thorin was searching her out after a hard day was a wonderful compliment it was the proof that she really meant something, to him.
« I always have time for you. » she said. « But aren't there other people more worthy of your time and attention ? »
Thorin smiled at her.
« There's no one more worthy of my time and attention than the person who stayed at my side day and night when I was wounded. » he said. « Even when I was angry and unpleasant and treating you so horribly, you still decided to stay with me. It shows how loyal, kind and reliable you are. I know I can really trust you, which is not something I can say about most other Dwarves. »
Laurelin was more and more surprised.
« But... your sister... »
Thorin chuckled softly.
« When I left her a few moments ago, she was busy running after her eldest son after he almost burned down the house, and I can assure you that I have no desire to help her catching the little brat. » Actually, Fìli was still too young to understand what death truly meant, and he hadn't realized yet that he would never see his beloved father again. The mourning candles Dis had lit to honour her deceased husband had been no more, to the boy, than a new toy to play with while his mother was busy elsewhere. It made Thorin sad to think about Boraìn and Dis and Fìli, so he tried to push them out of his mind. Which brought him back to Laurelin. « I would... Well, spending the rest of the afternoon in company of a friend seems like a good idea to me. » he said at last.
« A friend ? » she asked, wondering who he was talking about, then her eyes opened as wide as plates when she understood he was talking about her. She turned very red, and felt her cheeks grow so hot she could have baked an egg on them. Me ? He wants to spend the afternoon with me, as a friend ? Laurelin suddenly felt all giddy. She could hardly believe Thorin had just said those words to her. Maybe I should pinch my arm, to wake up from this dream ? « Of... of course, if such is your desire, my King, but... I have to weed the garden, and … and... »
« The garden looks clean enough, to me. » Thorin said, pointing at the small window that offered them a view on the aforesaid garden. Then he smiled at Laurelin once more. « Forget about your work, if only for a few hours. Rest and enjoy yourself, for a change. No one deserves it more than you. »
« I can't... » she said stubbornly. There were other tasks to carry out – water to fetch at the well, and socks to mend, and medical herbs to dry, and preparing the bread for next morning, and so many other things that she suddenly felt overwhelmed.
« Go, Sweetie. » her grand-mother said weakly, and the corners of her thin lips stretched into a tenuous smile.
Laurelin opened her mouth to say something, then suddenly she realized she didn't care about laundry or herbs anymore. This is not just some random man who wants to spend time with me. It's Thorin Oakenshield in person. Our King.
And a maid can't refuse her King, can she ?
She kissed her beloved grand-mother.
She smiled back at Thorin, and they spent the rest of the day talking about stupid, silly or boring things that made them forget about the chaos their lives had turned into. They had never talked like that before, during those thirty years they had spent at each other's side, and by the time Laurelin left him to go back to her grand-mother, he felt better than he had since his return from battle. And if I judge by the smile on Laurelin's lips, or the sparkle in her eyes, the same goes for her, as well. Thorin thought.
It was a new start for both of them.