More years went by, without anything noticeable happening in Thorin or Laurelin's lives. Laurelin was doing her work in the house and in the garden, and helping Thorin with the bath had become a daily task as well, although it was a pleasant one, involving warm water and scented soap. It was better – by far – than toiling in the muddy earth to grow vegetables, or scrubbing the filthy kitchen floor after she had accidentally spilled food on it. She also helped Thorin as much as she could in the forge. She learned to buy the right tools for Thorin, to negotiate with the miners – something she turned out to be quite good at, in spite of her shyness – and she also helped him more directly in his work ; her slender and agile fingers were good at assembling ringlets for chain mails, but Thorin also taught her to engrave tiny, delicate ornaments into the steel. Sometimes she etched dwarvish runes of good-luck and protection into the blade of a sword, or the name of the owner, but most of the times it was just pretty adornments made to embellish the weapon, without any real signification. She loved doing this, because she always felt so proud when she watched the finished blade with her own little touch on them.
One day, as Thorin received an important order from the Men in the valley below, he just shoved it into Laurelin's hands.
« My hands are covered in soot and sweat, but I'm curious to know what they want of me. I don't want to wait till the end of the day. Would you read it for me, please ? » he asked the young woman.
Laurelin froze it didn't last long, but it was pretty obvious. She lowered her gaze on Thorin's workbench.
Surprised by such an hesitation, Thorin watched her intently.
« I can't... » Laurelin said at last. It was the very first time, in all those years she had worked for him, that she told him these words. They were horribly hard to say. They made her feel so embarrassed. « I'm sorry, my King... but I can't. I'm sorry. »
Her throat was so tight with shame that she could barely speak.
Baffled by her behaviour, Thorin put the pair of pliers he was holding in his filthy hands onto the bench. Never before had she refused him anything. Never. Not even once. It was so unlike her, to act like that, that he couldn't help but feel worried.
« Is everything all right ? » he asked her, trying to meet her gaze but she kept her eyes low, showing him nothing but the top of her head.
Laurelin shook her head, but she knew it would not be enough to reassure him. Confronted to her obvious distress, he would not let her go away without doing his best to make her feel better about whatever was bothering her. She knew she had no other choice but to tell him the truth, no matter how hard it was.
« I... I can't read. » she admitted, her cheeks turning a violent shade of red. Tears of shame and humiliation welled up in her big brown eyes.
It took Thorin a few moments to realize what she had just told him, then he cursed himself for being so clumsy. He should have known. Dwarf born in humble families, like Laurelin, most often didn't have the chance to learn their letters. He should have known better than to put her in such an embarrassing position, ordering her to do something she had never been taught, and giving her no other choice but to refuse. He apologized several times, trying to convey to her how sorry he truly was, and then he assured her she had absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.
Laurelin nodded, but it was pretty clear to Thorin that she was still feeling very embarrassed about it. He didn't like seeing her so ill at ease in his presence. Guilt and compassion both flooded his heart. He tried to find a way to make her feel better, but he didn't come up with anything - so he just watched her walk away, feeling horribly guilty.
It's only hours later, as he was finishing a heavy battle-axe for one of his own warrior, that he came up with the solution that might solve the problem.
He dropped his tools at once and went looking for Laurelin. He found her in the kitchen, preparing a tasty stew with beef and carrots for dinner. She didn »t look up at him. Her eyes kept eluding his gaze.
« Laurelin, please look at me. » he pleaded. It hurt him to see her like that. « Please. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Yoi have no reason to be. You did nothing wrong. »
After a long while, she looked up at him at last, very hesitantly.
« My King ? » she asked, even more shyly than usual.
Thorin took a deep breath to gather his courage, then he continued :
« Laurelin, while I was working out there... I had an idea... I don't know what you will think of it, but well... there's something I want to ask you. » A smile was slowly growing on his lips. « You told me you've never learned to read, or to write... I should have known, and I apologize once more for putting you in such a situation. It was all my fault, and I want to make up for that mistake. I also want to give you something that will make your life both easier and more pleasant. » Her eyes met Thorin's at last. « Laurelin, would you like me to teach you to read ? »
The young woman was so startled she didn't know what to answer, at first. She wasn't even sure she had truly understood his words – maybe her ears had deceived her ?
The she saw the sincerity in Thorin's eyes.
« You... you would really do this... for me ? » she said unbelievingly, her voice so weak it was almost inaudible. Tears of emotion filled her eyes. « I... I would love to learned the letters. » She continued. « To read, and to write, and maybe even the numbers... » A shiver of excitement ran down her spine. « It would really be an honour to learn all these things from you, my King. And promise you I will always do my best to learn as quickly as possible. »
She couldnt help but smile as enthusiasm suddenly overwhelmed her.
« Maybe we can start tonight, when we are both done with our chores ? » Thorin suggested, amused – and pleasantly surprised – by the eagerness he saw in Laurelin.
« It would be wonderful. » she agreed, while stirring the stew.
In her mind, she already saw herself reading Thorin's letters for him, or writing to his important clients, or making lists of everything they needed... Maybe she could even do the book-keeping for him... Every new skill she could learn was welcome, particularly when it was such a useful skill. It would indeed make her life much easier.
She thanked Thorin several times, then they both went back to theit tasks.
Thorin cleaned the blade of the ax he had just finished, till it was sparkling, then he left the forge to deliver it to its new owner, at the other end of the village. He was feeling happy – truly happy, as he had not been in a very long time. He was really looking forward to spend the evening with Laurelin, like a child who is impatient to open his presents on his birthday.
He smiled to no one in particular, and admired the beauty of the blue sky as he walked through the village.
That evening, when they were both finished with their chores, after dinner and bath, they sat in front of the fire, on a thick bear fur Thorin had accepted as a gift from the hunters a few days earlier. They could have sat at the table, but since Laurelin loved to sit in front of the fire Thorin had chosen to giver her the lessons there, to be sure it would be as pleasant as possible for her. In front of them, there was a roll of old parchment covered in letters and runes the black ink stood out on the white paper, and Laurelin admired the beautiful, rounded shapes of the letters, as well as the sharper, geometrical edges of the dwarvish runes. She was curious to start the lesson, and to learn what significance was hiding behind each of them.
Then Thorin pointed at the first letter with his finger. Laurelin smiled, and listened to his deep, soft voice as he taught her with infinite patience the name and spelling of each lettter, each rune. She was determined to learn as much as possible, as quick as possible – not only to prove him she was attentive and clever, but also because she was eager to use these new skills in her daily life. She did her best to remember even the tiniest bits of information Thorin was giving her, but in truth she enjoyed the closeness with Thorin just as much as she enjoyed the knowledge he was offering her. He was still smelling of the wildflower-scented soap she had bought for him several days ago, and she could feel his breath brush her hair everytime he breathed out, making it dance around her face. It was a pleasant sensation to be sitting next to him like that – pleasant and comfortable, and she was almost disappointed when Thorin declared it was time to go to bed.
The next day, as well as every following day for a period that lasted approximately six months, Thorin and Laurelin sat together to teach and learn. During the first days, Thorin used to be a bit hesitant – he had never done something like that before – but soon he came to enjoy those quiet moments with Laurelin. He liked having her sitting so close to him, with a smile on her lips and a look of concentration on her beardless face. She was working hard to be a good pupil, it was obvious every time she mastered a new word, her big brown eyes shone with pride. Thorin loved to watch her when she was so pleased with herself. Even when he was exhausted after a particularly hard day, he still made sure he spent at least a bit of time with Laurelin, because his evenings would have felt very empty indeed without this. Sometimes, on very bad days when the burden of being a king was too hard to bear, the only thing that gave him the strength to not give up was the prospect of seeing Laurelin after the nightfall.
For Laurelin too, these lessons became an important part of her life. She always did her best she was not afraid to take initiatives or to try reading new words, even if she was not sure about the pronunciation. She knew Thorin would neither judge her, nor laught at her attempts. She trusted him, and that trust gave her the confidence to progress as fast as she did.
After six months, Thorin declared that she knew everything there was to know, and that he had nothing to teach her anymore. She immediately suggested to her King that she could read his mail for him, from now on, and he was glad to accept. She had this particular smile every time she opened one of his letters... such a pretty, endearing smile... Thorin couldn't get enough of it, because her good mood was always so contagious it could drive away Thorin's darkest thoughts and bring back a smile on his face, no matter how bad the day had been.
A few days later, Thorin came home one evening with a beautiful quill, a bottle of ink and a roll of cheap parchment.
« After reading, maybe you also want to learn writing ? » He asked, as he offered her the presents he had bought for her.
Laurelin was touched by Thorin's kindness, and she promised him she would always take good care of her new tools. Then she told him how happy it would make her to take more lessons with him writing was the logical continuation of reading.
They started that same evening. Thorin started by writing the letters himself, and by asking her to watch how he was doing it. Then he asked her to copy these letters the easiest letters and runes she drew alone, so concentrated on her task that she completely forgot about everything else. Sometimes she even forgot to breathe, and it was only when the letter was finished, still glistening with black ink on the piece of parchment, that she did remember to take in some air. When they took on more complicated letters, Thorin put his big hand over Laurelin's to guide it, and they wrote together. Thorin greatly enjoyed this physical contact with her her hand was rough and a bit coarse, but it was also small and frail, and pleasantly warm. He always felt very reluctant to let her go once the letter was finished, but he didn't want her to feel ill at ease so he never allowed the contact to last longer than what was necessary.
All in all, it didn't take Laurelin very long to master this new skill as well – three months, maybe four. So they moved on to the numbers. This was harder for Laurelin she had learned to count, of course, because it was something she needed in her daily life. So many eggs to buy on the market, so many copper coins to pay for a chicken... But it was very basic, and she still had a lot to learn. It took them a while, but Laurelin was determined and very enthusiastic, and in the end she managed to master the numbers as well.
When Thorin realized he had no more reasons to spend time with Laurelin, he suddenly felt very sad. Going back to his lonely evenings, without Laurelin's amiable presence, would be very
hard indeed.
« I am very proud of you. » He said with a kind smile, after he had rolled the last piece of parchment. « Not so long ago you expressed your desire to do the book-keeping for me, and I will be more than happy to accept. It will be a great help for me, since I have no love for numbers. I know how to addition or substract them, but I take no enjoyment in working with them – unlike you. It's pretty obvious you love the numbers. I'm sure you will appreciate this new responsibility. »
Laurelin smiled broadly, and nodded.
« It would make me very happy indeed. » she agreed.
« And there is something else I want to tell you, Laurelin., » Thorin said, with a warm smile. « I have a collection of books upstairs, in my bedroom – I am sure you know what I'm talking about. And you are free, now that you can read, to choose any book from my collection, since you seem to take so much pleasure from reading. I am sure you will greatly enjoy them. » He paused, then he ran the tip of his tongue over his dry lips. He hesitated. He was not sure how she would react to his next words. He did not want to make her feel ill at ease. Yet he said it anyways. « You are more than welcome to read those books here, in the warmth of the fire, where I can help you if you need it. » He paused again. « I... I have grown quite fond of those moments we shared here, every evening. I would miss them if you... if you decided to spend your evenings in your own bedroom. » He cleared his throat. « There is no obligation, of course, and if you feel the need for some privacy while you read you are free to join your chamber. But if you want to read here, well, I want you to know that you are welcome and I will definitely not see it as an intrusion from your part. » He realized this last sentence may have sounded a bit cold. « It would actually make me very happy if you chose to come here to read, because I really appreciate your company and I would certainly miss it if you decided to read upstairs, in your bedroom. »
He feared he had said too much, yet she didn't seem upset or ill at ease. She blushed, of course, but a shy smile blossomed on her thins lips.
« It would please me too, to read those books next to you, on this bear skin where I feel so cosy and comfortable. » she replied, her smile growing wider. « I also loved the moments we shared while you were teaching me. I would miss them, too. »
Thorin was happy to see her so enthusiastic. Her smile was beaming, and it warmed his heart. He had taught her because reading and writing were useful skills, of course – but also because he truly liked her and he wanted to do something kind for her. It made him feel happy to see she appreciated it as much as he had hoped.
Weeks and months went by, and soon, Laurelin had read all the books on Thorin's shelves, so he bought her new ones whenever he had the chance every time, he was rewarded by grateful smiles. Her enthusiasm and impatience, and the eagerness with which she started reading them as soon as she found the time for such trivial occupations, were the proof of how much she appreciated these new additions. Thorin learned what kind of books she loved, and what she didn't like, and his heart also filled with joy when they spend hours discussing about one or another book they had both read. Laurelin had an opinion on everything, and could chatter endlessly about the passages or the characters he had enjoyed. Her knowledge in gardening and growing medical plants increased as well, and she started doing her own herbarium.
Sometimes Thorin watched her from afar as whe was reading, and he felt proud of himself. I am the one who taught her, he reflected. Of course, he hadn't done it to get anything back from her, it had been completely selfless, yet seeing her like that was a form of reward. Usually she was always scrubbing and cooking and working, so it was nice to see her doing something for her own pleasure, sometimes. She was very pretty, when she was curled up in a ball on the bear skin, so relaxed and content, with a faintsmile on her face as her eyes ran endlessly from the left to the right of the pages.
She looks happy, when she is reading, and Mahal knows she needs such small moments of happiness.
But what Thorin didn't know, was that reading was not the only thing that made Laurelin happy. Of course she enjoyed the words and the stories and all the emotions it wakened in her, but what she liked even more was Thorin's closeness. He didn't sit next to her, as he did when he taught her to read, but he was always in the same room. Sometimes when she was finished, the talked what she had just read, and even though they sometimes had very different opinions on things, Laurelin grealy enjoyed discussing it with him. The smiles and the looks they shared on these occasions were a balm to her scorched heart, and slowly the loneliness that used to weigh on her shoulders grew fainter, easier to bear.
A few months later, when Thorin came home after a visit to Balin, he found on his anvil a pair of heavy leather gloves and an apron, brand new and still smelling of the oil that had been used to treat the leather. Surprised, he grabbed them and inspected them – end then he saw the small piece of paper that was hung with a piece of string around one of the fingers. He recognized Laurelin's elegant, meticulous handwriting. Four words, no more. Thank you, my King, she had written. He understood the gloves and the apron were presents she had bought him. At first he didn't understand why she thanked him – he had done nothing remarkable, these last days – then he figured it out at last. His eyes fell down on the piece of parchment again and he smiled as he saw the beautiful letters. She was so good that non one could have guessed she was new at writing. Then Thorin's smile froze as he inspected the gloves : They were made of excellent leather, both supple and strong. And the apron was just as wonderful. He knew the price for such items, and he cringed as he imagined Laurelin parting from so many personal coins just to buy him these.
Since he knew Laurelin was not at home, he resumed the work he had put aside when he had left for Balin's house – but in truth he was watching out for the young woman's return. He tried on his new gloves, and was pleasantly surprised by how well they fitted his hands the old pair he had bought years and years ago was now worn and torn and patched up in several places, and had barely protected his hands anymore. It was a real pleasure for Thorin to slip his big hands into this new pair, on to work with them. They felt like a second skin, and wearing them was so comfortable he almost forgot he was wearing gloves. The apron was thick and heavy, coated with several protective layers that would protect him effectively against the sparks that flew in every direction every time his hammer hit the red-hot steel.
When Thorin heard Laurelin's light steps in the living quarters attached to the forge, he quickly finished what he was doing and then, when the steel turned black and hard again, he put it on his workbench with infinite precautions. He could finish later. He hurried into the kitchen to seek out Laurelin. He was still wearing the gloves and the apron, to show her how much he appreciated them.
When the young woman saw him walk into the kitchen wearing the new items, she smiled broadly. They looked even better on him than they did in them leathersmith's shop, and it made her happy to see that he had started using them as soon as he had found them.
« Did I choose the right size, for the gloves ? » she asked. « The woman who sold them to me said I can bring them back if they don't fit, to get another pair of gloves in exchange... »
« They are perfect. » Thorin said, very earnestly. « They fit so well I could almost believe this woman made them specifically for my hands. »
« And... do you like them ? » she asked him, but when she looked at his pleased smile she already knew the answer.
« They are perfect. » Thorin repeated. « It was very kind of you to buy them for me, yet I cannot accept such a gift, Laurelin. I know the price for such gloves. What I did for you is not worth you spending so much gold for me. You have more need of this money than me. »
« With all due respect, my King... You cannot refuse a gift. » she told him. Her voice was soft, and her eyes brimming with tenderness.
Yet Thorin acted as if he hadn't heard her last words. He opened the purse that was tied on his belt, and removed several gold coins from it.
« Here. » he said, stretching out his hand to offer them to Laurelin.
« Certainly not ! » Laurelin exclaimed, as she stepped back to make it clear she would not take them.
« I don't deserve such an expensive gift. » Thorin said stubbornly.
« Of course you do. » Laurelin replied. « You taught me to read, and to write... You gave me the opportunity to learn something no other woman of my condition ever learned before. You may not realize it, but it means so much for me... »
Thorin gazed at her in silence for a long while, then he sighed, looking suddenly resigned.
« Very well. » he said at last. « I accept your gifts. And I am very grateful, too. I have to admit I truly needed new gloves, and a new apron as well. And you chose them well, too. As usual, your common sense and your good taste made you choose what's best. » He lifted one of his hand, so they could both admire the glove. « And your writing was perfect, too. » he complimented her. « I had never seen such beautiful letters before. My own handwriting looks poor and shabby, compared to yours – and I am not telling you this to flatter you. I truly mean it. You have learned so much, these last months. You really are an exemplary pupil. »
Laurelin blushed a bit, but her eyes sparkled with joy. Hearing Thorin compliment her like that made her feel happy, and so proud of herself.
Thorin watched her smile he was surprised to see so much emotion in her eyes, when in reality he had done no more than just being honest with her.
« Thank you. » he said.
Laurelin nodded, and was about to return to her work – she had started to scrub the work surface when Thorin had interrupted her – when suddenly Thorin opened his arms and hugged her tight against his broad chest.
« Thank you so much. » he repeated, and after a few moments he felt Laurelin relax against him. He held her close for a few moments, enjoying the intimacy of this physical contact with her, then he released her before she could feel ill at ease.
She met his eyes, and they both started smiling in unison.
Once Laurelin knew how to read and write and work with the numbers, Thorin was glad to let her do all the tedious work he had no patience for a King he may be, but in truth he enjoyed physical work far more than reading countless letters or making endless lists. It bored him, and it also annoyed him because it made him lose precious time. Laurelin, on the other side, enjoyed such things. In the beginning Thorin supervised her work, to be help her whenever she needed it, but soon he realized it was not necessary Laurelin was clever and smart, and she knew how to manage everything on her own, without help. Thorin couldn't help but admire her. She had come such a long way from the frail, shy girl he had met so many year ago. She was so useful and efficient that he couldn't even imagine running the forge without her. Whatever she was doing, she always gave her best and Thorin knew he could trust her blindly, without the slightest hesitation. And besides, Laurelin's neat and elegant handwriting was far more pleasant to look at in the registries than Thorin's spidery scrawl. Laurelin's small hand drew each letter, each number with minute perfection.
On her side, Laurelin greatly enjoyed having more responsibilities, and the diversity of the tasks she was now accomplishing for Thorin filled her with enthusiasm. In the beginning, she was just a serving girl, using her hands to scrub and cook and clean, but now she also used her head and she loved it she relished adding and substracting numbers, and coming up with the correct answer, and she also relished all the challenges this new work was offering her. Every day she learned to cope with new situations, and she learned new words, new tricks to be even more efficient. Sometimes, when she hesitated – which did not happen very often – she asked Thorin for help, but instead of telling her straight away the answers she wanted to hear, he just guided her very subtly into the right direction, allowing her to find the solution by herself and to feel very proud of herself.
All in all, Thorin teaching Laurelin to read was an important turning point in their relationship. From this moment on, they started spending almost all their evenings together. Sometimes they played games – likes cards, or jacks, or dice – but most of the tie they read, sitting side by side by the fireplace, feeling so comfortable with each other. Sometimes, they even read the same book together. Laurelin really appreciated those moments, because Thorin was sitting particularly close to her on these occasions, and sometimes their fingers brushed imperceptibly as they both tried to turn over the page. Thorin was a strong and fierce warrior, a king of Durin's line, yet when he was with Laurelin she saw nothing in him but gentleness and softness.
Thorin also enjoyed these evenings, when they both read together. He loved feeling her arm pressing against his arm as they both leaned over the same book he loved hearing her deep, slow breathing he loved these slightly awkward moments when their fingers accidentally touched but more than anything else, he loved watching Laurelin while she read. Her big brown doe eyes were wide open, with an adorable half-smile on her lips. Her features were so relaxed. Most often, Throin reached the end of the page before Laurelin, but the fact that he had to wait for her at the down of every page didn't even annoy him – on the contrary. It gave him time to watch Laurelin on the quiet, while her mind was elsewhere. Thorin could have watched her for hours and hours.
Sometimes he was feeling the urge to put his arm around her, but he didn't want to take the risk of frightening her and making her stop their reading activities together – so he did nothing, and she just admired her in silence.
For now, it was enough for him to feel contented.