Thorin and Laurelin left Dis' house together, to get back to the forge. They were both impatient to be home, yet it they were constantly interrupted by other Dwarves who wanted to speak to Thorin : the King greeted them all and spoke a few words with them, always polite. He accepted their condolences and thanked them for their support, for their loyalty. He also announced several times that there would be no festivities to celebrate his return, since he came home without his father and he didn't feel like organizing a ceremony when his heart was still grieving for Thrain. Laurelin felt a bit awkward as she stood next to Thorin – not because of Thorin himself, but because she remembered what Lady Dis had told her earlier. Laurelin couldn't help but scrutinize every Dwarf they met, wondering what filthy tales he would tell his friends. The idea that some of them were imagining her behaving like a woman with no virtue made her terribly ill at ease. Yet every time she put some distance between her and Thorin, he just slowed moved closer to her again, with a reassuring smile that clearly told her : don't worry about such things, what they think or say has no importance to us.
After a while, less and less Dwarves came to bother them, and they would walk more freely. Thorin kept asking Laurelin about what had happened in the village, and she always gave him a thorough answer, with as much details as she could remember. It felt as if she had to catch up in one day for those long monthes without talking to him.
When they came home, the first task was to revive the fire. Laurelin had left the house long hours ago, so there was no more than a few reddish embers in the heart it was enough, yet, to start a new fire when Thorin put a stack of dry twigs on them. Soon, crackling flames were hurning, filling the house with a subtle scent of pine sap.
Laurelin still couldn't believe that Thorin was truly back, and at home with her.
I just hope it's not a dream, and that I won't wake up tomorrow in a cold, empty house.
They sat in front of the fire for a while, enjoying their mutual presence in silence. Then Thorin was the first to speak :
« I can only imagine how lonely you must have been. » He said in a whisper. « All alone in the empty house... At least I was travelling, and I didn't have to face the familiar places we used to share. I'm sorry you had to go through this. And I realized I should have written more letters, but ink and paper were hard to come by, and... » He sighed. « I'm sorry. » he repeated once more.
« It's fine. » Laurelin replied with a smile. « You wrote whenever you could, and I was glad for each of your letters. »
She stood up and opened a drawer in the kitchen sideboard. Then she grabbed the six letters she had been storing in there, and showed them to Thorin. She had taken great care of them, as if they were a precious treasure, and if they were battered it was only because the messengers carrying them to the Blue Mountains had not been very precautious.
Thorin smiled as he recognized them.
« Every time I gave one of my letters away, I wondered whether you would get them or not. Some of them men I entrusted them to looked fishy enough. But now I see that you have gotten them all. It warms my heart to see that you have kept them all. »
« I... wanted to have them near me. » She admitted. «Where I could read them whenever I felt too lonely. Sometimes before going to sleep, I just read them all to give me courage, and to convince myself that you were all right. »
Thorin pondered her answer for a while.
« Your thoughts watched over me like a guardian angel. » He said at last, in a dreamy voice. « I could never forget you, Laurelin. You can be sure about that. »
Thorin's hand moved over to stroke Laurelin's as he said those last words. He brushed her knuckles with the tip of his fingers, very timidly at first, but then he gained confidence and covered the young woman's small hand with his, very tenderly. It felt good, so he left it there. Laurelin's hand was small and warm. Unconsciously, Thorin started rubbing her skin with his thumb, and he did so for several minutes before he realized what he was doing then he froze, suddenly ill at ease. But as soon as he stopped moving his finger, Laurelin started caressing his big, scarred hand as if to say – I like it, please continue.
Thorin smiled weakly, still a but uncertain. But Laurelin's touch was pleasant for sure. The heir of Durin allowed himself to relax, and instinctively his thumb resumed stroking the young woman's skin. It lasted a few minutes Thorin didn't talk, but he just enjoyed the moment and the feelings this touch was awakening in him.
Then Laurelin decided to tell him something she had been keeping to herself so far :
« Sometimes, when I felt too lonely in this big empty house, I wanted nothing but to run away from here and join you in your quest. » She said softly, as she put the letters back in the drawer. « I almost did it, several times, in the very beginning when I still knew where to find you. » The she suddenly lowered her eyes in shame. « But in the end I didn't have the courage to do it. Just leave everything behind... Travel alone with no one else to rely on... Live like a beggar on the streets... I couldn't. I just couldn't. I suppose I am not made for such an adventurous life. And I also... I alos feared your reaction, when you would find out I had been so rash and reckless. »
Thorin was quite surprised by this confession, because he hadn't expected her to nourish such thoughts, but at the same time he was touched by her unyielding loyalty. It made him realize how much he counted for her, and knowing that he was important to her – important to that woman he admired and cared for so much – was a wonderful feeling.
« The fact that you considered joining me means a lot to me. » He started, taking Laurelin's hands in his and smiling at her. « Yet in the end... it's a good thing you stayed here. It was the wisest choice, because the places where I travelled were dangerous and lacking all comfort. It would have been like a nightmare, for you. And besides... Joining me would have meant several weeks of travelling alone, which would have been even more dangerous. Knowing that you wanted to do it is enough for me. »
When Thorin started removing his hand from Laurelin's, she held it back, then she looked up at Thorin, very shyly.
« I would really enjoy it if you kept your hand here. » She said in a timid voice. « I... I still can't belive you are truly back... Sometimes I'm wondering if it's true, or if it's just my imagination making me see the things I want to see... but when I fell your hand on mine, well – it just helps me realize it is truly happening... »
Thorin smiled amiably, and kept his big hand over Laurelin's smaller hands, both to comfort her and to warm her cold hands. It felt good for him too, to have this physical contact with her.
Silence fell between them for a while, then Thorin continued. His voice was deep and sad, and his eyes never left Laurelin's face.
« I... When I realized I found never find my father, I was so angry... » He sighed. « Angry against fate who made us endure all these hardships, angry against my father who kept eluding me, angry against myself for being unable to help him... It burned me from the inside, day and night, without rest. But the closer I got to home, the better I felt. The pain, the gref, the anger... Slowly it faded away, replaced by other feelings. Hope, eagerness to be home again, and impatience... And I also realized several things... The importance of home... The importance of being reunited with the people I care for... and with you, Laurelin. » He added, and he started rubbing her hands very softly. « Knowing that I would be at your side soon help me to keep going... And somehow it made my father's death more bearable. It was still tragic, of course, but I... I don't know, but I suppose I just accepted his death... I now I am ready to go on with my life, and it's definitely thanks to you. »
Laurelin had been listening to him with rapt attention, enjoying the warmth of his hand on hers as much as the words he told her.
« I am so happy to be back home, now. » He said, looking around him at the familiar living room. Nothing had changed since he had left, six months earlier. « I missed you, and our evenings together in front of the fire. » He admitted, looking back at her.
Laurelin hesitated for a moment, then she gave him the most sincere answer :
« I will always be here for you, my King. » she said with a warm smile.
« Thank you. » Thorin repeated. Then his eyes went to the drawer where Laurelin kept the playing cards. « What about playing a few games before we go to bed ? »
« I would love it, my King. » Laurelin answered with a smile. She got up and waked over to the drawer, but when she wanted to sit back next to Thorin he shook his head and got up as well, with a low grunt of pain as he forced his tired muscles to move again.
« I can't play like that. » He said, pointing at his stained and dusty clothes. « I look and smell like a beggar who hasn't seen a bath in months. Do you think the water is hot enough for a bath ? »
« It should be. » Laurelin answered. She opened the lid of the kettle, and saw that the water was hot indeed.
Thorin helped her carry bucket after bucket of hot water upstairs, in his bedroom, till the wated in the tub reached the perfect temperature.
When it was time for him to undress, he was oddly embarrassed to do so in front of Laurelin maybe because he hadn't seen her in six months, but more probably because his relationship with her had changed during his absence. He didn't look at her in the same way he did before, yet after a moment of hesitation he just called himself stupid for being so shy and undressed anyways. And since he was so filthy, he washed and scrubbed his skin by himself, without asking for Laurelin's help as he usually did.
In the meanwhile, Laurelin was sitting on a chair, near the tub where Thorin was bathing. Since she had seen him hesitate, she had turned around while he had undressed, to avoid any further embarrassment. She had picked up his worn clothes and was now checking them some were beyond repair and good for nothing but to be turned into rags, but others she would be able to save. She put them aside, to wash and mend them another day. After a while, she started wondering why Thorin didn't ask for her help. Usually, he always enjoyed when she rubbed his back and washed his hair, but tonight he seemed determined to do these things on his own.
For a while Laurelin just sat on her stool and waited, but after a while she couldn't help but look at Thorin over her shoulder. He was showing her his back. She bit her lips as she hesitated. Then she decided it was time to act. Without waiting for him to ask anything, she got up and walked over to where he was sitting in his tub.
Thorin startled as he suddenly felt Laurelin's hand on his shoulders. He hadn't expected her to come, since he hadn't told her anything, yet it was a pleasant surprise for sure. She took the washing cloth from his hands, and started rubbing his tense back, very softly, in big slow circles. Thorin turned his head and looked at Laurelin over his shoulder, then he apologized for being so dirty his voice was strangely shy as he said those words, but Laurelin just smiled reassuringly at him and shrugged.
« I'm am not afraid of dust and mud. » She said, and it was true. She didn't feel disgusted at all as she resumed rubbing Thorin's back. She started with his broad shoulders, then she went lower and lower, till she reached the small of his back.
Slowly, Thorin relaxed under her touch. He leaned his head forwards to give her free access to his back, then he savoured the sweetness of this moment. It had been long since he had last felt so good, so relaxed.
Then Laurelin cast away the washing cloth, to wash him with her bare hands. Here again, Thorin startled quite obviously, but once he had gotten used to her touch he enjoyed it even more than he had before. It was her skin against his, her warmth, her contact... It was something both intimate and comfortable. He felt like a baby in the hands of a loving mother : protected, and well cared for, and deeply satisfied. And the fact that it was Laurelin who made him feel like that made everything even better. He wanted it to go on forever, yet after a while Laurelin announced that she was done. For Thorin, it was like falling back into the real world. He sighed, then he stood up and climbed out of the tub. He wrapped himself in the warm towal Laurelin handed him, and dried himself for a long time, enjoying the feeling of being clean for the first time in weeks.
When he was done, he slipped into the comfortable breeches Laurelin had prepared for him.
« Would you help me wash my hair ? » He asked, looking at Laurelin.
« Of course, my King. » She answered with a smile. « I will be glad to help. »
Thorin leaned over the tub, and cringed when he saw how dity the water now was. Laurelin poured clean, warm water over his head, then sue rubbed soap into his long, black hair. He felt her fingers run on his scalp, and he enjoyed this contact just as much as he had enjoyed her fingers on the skin of his back he was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of happiness and well-being. A moan of contentment escaped his lips.
« It feels good. » He said simply, because he was too dazed to think about something more elaborate to say. « I wish you would never stop. »
Laurelin smiled, and decided to make it last a little bit longer than necessary, for the mere sake of pleasing him. He didn't say anything more, but the young woman sensed she had his full, complete gratitude. She sensed how quiet and serene he now was.
When they were done at last, Thorin dried his long hair the best he could with the towel, and slipped into a white linen shirt. He looked down at Laurelin, with kindness shining in his blue eyes.
« You're taking much better care of me than I do. » He said with a warm, friendly smile. Being here with her was all he needed, rightnow, to feel truly happy.
Several moments later, they both climbed down the stairs again and sat in front of the fire again. They were facing each other now. Laurelin got the cards from the drawer, and Thorin immediately dealt them out they had learned a few games that were interesting enough when played at two, and they were both looking forward to spending the rest of the evenin together. Laurelin won the first game, and Thorin the second they chatted and laughed as they played, in spite of Thorin's recent loss. After a few games, they even burt out laughing over their game, and for Thorin it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest.
« No one else but you could have cheered me up like that, in spite of the grief and the exhaustion. » He confided, wiping away tears of laughter. And he truly meant it. Never before had he been so sincere. He needed Laurelin and he knew it. Without her, his life would loose all its favor. His happiness was depending on her, now.
Laurelin smiled at him.
« Are you hungry ? » She asked, even though they had eaten their fill at Dis' house before going home.
« I am acutally quite impatient to savor your meals again. » He said truthfully. « I've never met a better cook than you. »
Laurelin nodded, pleased by his compliment, and went into the kitchen to prepare a quick but hearty meal for Thorin.
While she was away, Thorin watched the living room around him. He knew Laurelin hadn't spent much time at home, since she had worked for Balin frow dawn to dusk, yet she had still found the time to pick some wildflowers and to put them into a coloured glass vase. He kept talking to her while she was busy in the kitchen, en she answered in a lively voice while running from one cooking pot to the other.
When the food was done, Thorin invited Laurelin to sit at the table with him they ate dinner together, and resumed playing cards while they were eating. It was a pleasant, friendly moment, and Thorin enjoyed Laurelin's easy companionship more than ever.
« By Mahal, I missed this. » Thorin said, pointing at the beef stew with his fork. « No one cooks beef like you. »
The meat was tender and melting in the mouth, accompanied by a thick brown sauce and white perfumed carrots. Thorin loved his siter dearly, but her talents when it came to cooking were nothing compared to Laurelin's, and he was glad the young woman had suggested another meal because Dis' food had not been enough for him.
Thorin and Laurelin played cards until late into the night. Laurelin was tired, because she was not used to being up so late, but she had no desire to leave Thorin's company to go to bed. She wanted to enjoy every moment spent in his company.
After while, though, Thorin was the one who gave in to exhaustion.
« Time for bed. » He said wearily, as he helped Laurelin clear the cards away. When they were finished, he looked at Laurelin till she ended looking back at him. Then he grabbed one of her hands. « Thank you for this wonderful evening. » He told her, squeezing her hand tenderly. « It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, and it's all thanks to you. It's... It's so good to be back home. » He sighed, his eyes still on her. « Good night, then... »
He squeezed her hand again.
« It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, too. » She admitted with a smile. She hesitated, then she decided to use Thorin's very words. « And it's all thanks to
you, my King. »
« Every moment spent in your company is worth all the gold in Erebor. » He said at last. « Have a good night, Laurelin. May your sleep be blessed with sweet dreams. » Then he let go of her hand, and started walking towards the staircase.
Laurelin followed him, but once the moment came to part from Thorin and join her own bedroom, she felt very reluctant.
Thorin noticed her reaction, and chuckled softly.
« To bed, now. » He hushed her, still laughing « We will have many other days to
enjoy each other's presence, now ! And we both need rest ! »
« Good night, my King. » She said, before entering her bedchamber.
« Good night, Laurelin. »
He watched her till she closed the door behind her, then he entered his own bedroom, and he sighed deeply as he slipped into his own bed, between the clean sheets.
By Mahal, this is good.
But even better, to him, was the procpect of waking up next morning, and to start a new day in Laurelin's company.