Author's Note:
Alright guys, big shoutout to kmcracerx, RisughXD, and mona-rose, you guys are the best! I love your reviews:) So, I think you guys are really going to like this chapter... ;) here ya' go! And please, if you haven't already, don't forget to fave/follow/review, it makes me so happy :D xoxoxo
After Eric had left Lia in Lauryn's capable hands, he sprinted to Four's apartment, just down the hall. He banged on the door, and the brown-haired intelligence officer swung the door open, in annoyance. When he took in the sight of the blonde leader before him, however, his eyes grew wide.
"What the fuck happened to you?" he demanded, stepping out into the hall, scrutinizing the blood spattered over the blue-eyed man's clothing, and hands. Eric quickly pulled out his pad and pen, scratching the message with an urgency, before holding the slip up for the brown-haired man to take.
Four's honey-brown orbs scanned the words, quickly, his confused expression morphing into anger. "Go."
The two men ran to the Chasm, to find Donnie still unconscious on the ground. The brown-haired man knelt down, placing two fingers to the boy's jugular, checking for his pulse. The expression he wore when he did find a heartbeat, could only be described as dissapointment.
"Can't believe you didn't kill this one, too," the brown-haired instructor commented, as Eric rolled his eyes. Eric had only killed Grey; not intentionally, but not purely by accident, either. Todd had killed himself.
"Cowards."
"Let's get him to the infirmary. We'll cuff him to the bed, and formally arrest him when he wakes up. I'll send a team to clean up the rest of this mess."
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"I won't be able to make a definitive diagnosis until she wakes up."
Lauryn sighed as the older, grey-haired man lifted Cordelia's eyelids, shining a small, but bright, light across her unresponsive pupils.
"I think we need to move her to the infirmary, at least until she regains consciousness," he continued, clicking the light off, and placing it in his medical bag.
"I'm sure Eric and Four will be back soon, Cobra," the red-head stated, crossing an arm over her chest, and placing her free hand to her forehead. This was definitely not how the green-eyed woman had envisioned spending the evening of her first day off.
"Speaking of Eric," the older man began, as he placed his tools back in his black bag. He didn't say anything else, he simply waited for a response from the red-head. Lauryn sighed, deeply, shaking her head. "Don't get me started on that asshole," she grumbled, in annoyance, as she moved to sit down in one of the two grey chairs placed across from the couch that the dark-haired girl rested on. "It's been over a year, now. You saw his face when you told him," the green-eyed woman closed her eyes, exhaling slowly, before continuing. "I still remember the last words he spoke," she laughed darkly, and sarcastically. "'This isn't happening'."
Cobra offered an apologetic smile, one that did not reach the corners of his slightly wrinkled eyes. "Just give him some time, Lauryn, I'm-."
"Time?" the red-head scoffed, crossing her legs, and leaning forward. "It's been over a year! How much time does he need? He may as well have died! He's fucking stupid-!"
Lauryn stopped her emotionally-fueled rant, immediately, when she heard someone clearing their throat, from behind her. She stood quickly, turning around to face the door, and saw Four, and Eric, standing just inside the doorway.
The brown-haired man gave the red-head an understanding expression, but Eric would not look at her.
"We need to get the initiate to the infirmary," the doctor informed the two men, scratching his tattooed neck, awkwardly. Cobra had been the physician to treat the young leader's injuries just over a year ago, and he had also had the displeasure of informing the blonde of the extent of those injuries.
Eric could not meet Lauryn's gaze; her words had been brutally painful. He quickly, and silently, walked over to the couch, bending down to scoop the dark-haired girl into his arms. She had a large, purple bruise forming on her temple, and she had long, red scratches running up her bare arms. Her smooth, milky-white skin was mottled with bruises and scratches. The blonde was unsettled at the sight.
"Why does this bother me as much as it does?"
It wasn't the first time that lower-ranked initiates attempted to remove the first-ranked initiate from the competition, and it wouldn't be the last. The blue-eyed man didn't understand what it was about the Candor transfer that felt different.
The young leader turned to head out the door, training his gaze on the floor, so he didn't have to meet Lauryn's eyes.
The red-headed woman hurried to follow, placing her hand on his shoulder at the door. "Eric, I-," her words stuck in her throat, as the blonde shrugged away from her touch, quickly slamming the door shut behind him, with his foot.
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"Fuck."
Marc had dozed off, sitting upright, in the chair beside the bed that Lia occupied in the infirmary. He awoke when he heard the dark-haired girl curse. He scooted the plastic chair closer to the bed, a concerned frown etched over his pale, freckled features.
"Lia? How are you feeling?" the worried Amity boy inquired, his eyes searching the other girl's amber orbs, scrutinizing her face. Cordelia attempted a small smile, but it rather resembled a grimace.
"Like shit, but I think I'll live," she groaned as she pulled herself up a bit, so that she was sitting up, slightly. "What happened to my clothes?" The dark-haired girl noticed that she was wearing a dark, grey gown. "Where are my clothes, Marc?!"
The ginger-haired boy blushed, and averted his eyes a bit. "They're under the bed. Eric got me up, he wrote me a note saying that you were here, and he walked me over."
The Amity boy cleared his throat before continuing. "They needed to make sure you had no other injuries, so they wanted you to wear that gown so they could examine you easier. Eric told the nurse that I was your boyfriend, so they asked me to change your clothes."
Lia's eyes went wide, her mouth falling open, slightly. "What? But-."
"I know," the larger boy interrupted, his cheeks a deep red. "I didn't say anything because I had to make sure you were okay, ya' know? I didn't want to leave until I knew you were gonna be alright."
"Thank you, Marc," the amber-eyed girl sighed, grateful for the other boy's kindness. "Ya' know, your Amity is showing."
The two initiates both chuckled at the dark-haired girl's statement.
"Can you hand me my pants?" she asked, hoping that what she needed was still in her pocket. Marc reached underneath her bed, and pulled out her jeans, which had been folded neatly, and handed them to his friend.
Cordelia began to frantically search the pockets, reaching her hand in each one, until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the crinkled, yellow piece of paper, sighing in relief.
"What's that?" the Amity boy inquired, his curiousity piqued. "Is that one of Eric's notes?" He raised an eyebrow when the other girl blushed, and nodded.
"Yeah," she said, unfolding the small note. "It's the note he wrote me when he let me attack him. It helps to read it, when I don't feel very brave."
The larger boy leaned over, kissing the dark-haired girl's forehead. "You are braver than me," he said, sincerity in his voice. Lia laughed, loudly, slightly shocking the ginger-haired Amity transfer. "What's so funny?'
"You said I was braver than you!" she responded, still giggling, as she pulled a stray strand of dark, brown hair out of her eyelashes.
A look of honest confusion came over Marc's face. "So, what's the funny part, then?"
His response caused the dark-haired girl to laugh even harder, the heart monitor beeping rapidly, as she laughed so hard she began to cry. "Oh, Marc, that's not saying much, but thank you anyway."
"Hey!" the Amity boy retorted, frowning, as he crossed his arms over his chest.
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The next day, Lia was released from the infirmary, leaving her only one more day of free time before the start of stage two of training.
She entered the Pit by herself, hearing loud, angry music blasting throughout the stone auditorium.
"There she is!" Sassy ran into the dark-haired girl, almost causing her to fall over, and pulled her into a tight, friendly hug. "I'm so glad you're okay! Come on, we're having a party!"
The blue-haired girl dragged Cordelia out into the sea of bodies, swaying to the music. "Hey, Judd! Play the new one again, for Lia!"
She turned back to the amber-eyed girl, leaning close, and spoke loudly into her ear. "It came in last night! It's our mystery musician!"
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me!
Sassy forced the Candor transfer to dance with her, as they listened to the music; jumping, and spinning, as they enjoyed their next to last day of vacation.
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
The young, blonde leader watched the joyous riot from above, leaning over the metal railing. Everyone else in the Pit was laughing, having a good time, and getting lost in the music. This song had an entirely different meaning, for him, though. His mind drifted to Lauryn's words the other night...
"It's been over a year! How much time does he need? He may as well have died! He's fucking stupid!"
Lia looked carefree, twirling and jumping around; he envied her happiness. He couldn't help the small smile that came to his face when he thought about their conversation on the roof of the training center; if it could be called a conversation.
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me!
Goddddddddd!
"Hey! There's Eric! You should go talk to him!" Sassy yelled, straining to be heard over the blaring music. Lia turned around, and looked up, to where the blue-haired girl had been pointing. She spotted the blonde two floors up, leaning over the rail. He was staring at her, and turned his head away, quickly.
Cordelia grinned, realizing that this was the second time that she had caught him staring at her. She made her way to the stairs, climbing slowly, and gripping the rail firmly.
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery!**
When Eric turned his gaze back to the frantic crowd, Lia was gone. He frowned, dissapointed, and concerned.
"Can I talk to you?!"
The blonde spun around, coming face to face with the dark-haired girl. She offered him a small smile, leaning closer so she didn't have to yell quite as loud. "Can we go somewhere, to talk?"
Eric nodded, slowly, and gestured for her to follow him. The young leader led her up a flight of stairs, and down a short corridor, stopping outside of his apartment. He unlocked the door, stepping aside for the younger girl to enter.
Lia glanced around the room; it was clean, for the most part. There were a few, dirty coffee cups in the sink, there were a few articles of clothing laid across different pieces of furniture, and there were several, wadded up, pieces of white paper strewn across the coffee table in front of his couch. The dark-haired girl noticed a light-colored, acoustic guitar leaned up against a chair, by a door to another room, and she was intrigued.
Eric moved past her, quickly gathering up the wadded pieces of paper, and he dumped them into a waste basket. The blonde gestured for her to sit down, and he joined her on the opposite end of the couch.
"So," Lia started, turning to face the blue-eyed leader, nervously. "I wanted to thank you, for getting my friend to sit with me while I was in the infirmary."
"Friend? Amity's just her friend?"
"And," the dark-haired girl fidgetted awkwardly in her seat, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. "I was wondering if you would possibly be able to tell me what happened... the other night?"
Eric turned his gaze to the floor, leaning forward to clasp his hands together, and resting his elbows on his knees.
"Ah, fuck."
The blonde nodded, chewing on his bottom lip, as he did so.
The amber-eyed girl inched closer to the young leader, raising an eyebrow, and waited patiently; as patiently as a Candor was able.
The blue-eyed instructor finally grabbed the white tablet off the coffee table, and pulled his pen out of his back pocket: What do you remember?
Cordelia furrowed her brow, glancing between his icy-blue eyes, and the note in her hand. "I was walking back to the dorm... I was dis-, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and I got lost. I was trying to find my way back when I saw Donnie, Grey, and Todd..." The former Candor took a deep breath, remembering how her friend had attacked her.
"One of them punched me, and then they tied me up. I tried to get away, I swear! I was kicking, and screaming at them, and then-, and then-!" The young leader placed his hand on her shoulder, gently, while the dark-haired girl forced herself to calm down.
"I don't remember anything after that," she finished, quietly, looking up into the blonde leader's eyes. The amber-eyed girl scrutinized Eric's expression; he appeared to be torn about how much of the story to tell her. "Just tell me the truth; I'm used to it."
That got a small smirk out of the blonde. He started to write, covering more, and more of the page with green ink. Lia attempted to catch a glimpse of what he was writing, but, every time she did, he shifted the paper further away. The dark-haired girl noticed how, at times, he appeared angry. Whether he was angry at her, or not, was unclear.
Eventually, he finished, and handed her the whole tablet, an unreadable expression on his face.
Cordelia read the words that he had written, gripping the tablet tightly, with shaking hands. When she got to the bottom of the page, and read about how Todd had jumped into the churning river below the Chasm, she started shaking her head.
Eric watched her expressions change, as she read over the events of the night before last; anger, shock, and hurt, among them. She was trembling, and shaking her head back, and forth. He knew she was about to lose it.
"No! He jumped?!" she screamed, as she placed her head in her hands, and began sobbing. "He was my friend! He's Violet's boyfriend! What if she blames me?! What if all my other friends blame me?! He's dead! He's really fucking dead!"
She threw herself at the young leader, wrapping her arms around his waist, needing something to cling to. She didn't care if he minded, or not; she needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was going to be it.
Eric's eyes went wide, when the dark-haired girl grabbed onto him; this, he was not expecting.
"Um... Okay."
He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, patting her back gently, and let her cry it out. The blonde was uncomfortable, to say the least; he wasn't a hugging kind of guy.
Eventually, Lia calmed down a bit, though she still couldn't contain the occasional sob, or hiccup.
After several, tension-filled moments, the former Candor realized that her hands were still fisted into her instructor's shirt, and her head was leaned against his chest. She let go immediately, moving back a bit, her cheeks burning red.
"I'm so sorry," she muttered, barely loud enough for the young leader to hear. "I probably got snot, and shit all over your shirt." She raised her eyes to look at the blonde's face, and he threw her an amused grin. She giggled, in spite of the emotional turmoil she was going through.
Eric quickly scribbled another note, and handed it to the dark-haired girl: I have more than one shirt, Lia.
This caused Cordelia to chuckle again, while Eric smirked at her, in amusement. The blonde was grateful that they had veered off of the previous subject; he honestly had enough to be depressed about. He held up a finger, signifying that he needed a moment, and when Lia nodded, he stood from the couch.
The amber-eyed girl watched him walk down the hall, towards what she guessed was the young leader's bedroom, pulling his shirt over his head as he went.
He turned around at the door, with a wicked smirk on his face, before entering the room.
"See something you like, Smart Mouth?"
Lia knew that it would have only been a matter of time before she got caught staring, as well; it just happened to be that night.
Eric emerged a few moments later, wearing a clean, white tshirt, and the dark-haired girl was still blushing at having been caught, this time.
The blonde took his previous seat, though, maybe a few inches closer to the Candor transfer, and wrote out another note, hesitantly: You're gonna be okay, Lia. You're stronger than you think you are. I don't really say shit like this, so trust me.
The amber-eyed girl looked up from the note, into the crystal-blue orbs of her instructor, her eyes searching his. "I do trust you," she replied, surprised that she found her words to be true; she didn't know why, but she really did trust the blue-eyed man. She noticed the way Eric's eyes lit up at her admission, the way his tongue darted out to moisten his slightly chapped lips.
The dark-haired girl leaned in, slowly, towards the young, blonde leader, her long eyelashes fluttering shut.
The blue-eyed man found himself leaning in, as well, his gaze on Cordelia's pink, full lips. He panicked when they were only centimeters apart, and he could feel her warm breath against his chin.
"What am I doing?!"
The blonde jumped back, his eyes wide, as the reality of what they almost did sunk in. Lia was an initiate; he was her instructor. Besides the fact that there were laws preventing him from having relations with his initiates, there was the fact, in his mind, that she deserved better than him.
"Oh my god," the dark-haired girl muttered, covering her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry! I-, I-..." Cordelia stood, quickly, and sprinted out the door, leaving the young leader in his apartment.
Eric shoved the coffee table over, kicking the piece of furniture, repeatedly.
"Fuck!"
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Lia was embarrassed, and ashamed, and she couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. She had never been good with rejection, but, this felt worse than she could've imagined. She felt so stupid that she had mistaken Eric's kindness for something more.
The dark-haired girl hurried through the corridor's, bypassing the Pit, and made her way to the rooftop of the training center. There was no one else up there, so she settled against the wall, gazing at the stars with disdain while the tears continued to leak from her puffy, amber eyes.
She almost jumped out of her skin, when none other than Eric, skidded to a stop in front of her. She stared at her instructor with wide eyes, watching as he bent down with his hands on his knees, attempting to catch his breath.
The blonde had, only momentarily, hesitated, before running after Cordelia. He didn't know why, but he strongly felt that owed the former Candor some sort of an explanation, and an apology. His breathing now regulated, the blue-eyed leader felt in his pocket for his pad and pen, only to find that there was no pad and pen.
"Shit! Seriously?!"
Eric had forgotten the tools necessary for his form of communication; now he was going to look like even more of an asshole.
"What are you doing here?" Lia asked, small traces of venom laced throughout her words, as she glared at him. "Don't you have other initiates to lead on? You like using the tall, dark and silent thing, don't you? That how you pick up girls? Being a good listener?"
The young leader rolled his eyes, hating himself for leaving his writing tools. He shook his head to answer her questions, but she didn't pay any attention.
The dark-haired girl stood, crossing her arms over her chest as she scoffed. "While we're on that subject, let's talk about what a great listener you are..."
The blue-eyed man found himself growing annoyed, and angry, at the Candor girl's rant, tightening his jaw, and fixing her pacing figure with an icy glare.
"...You must get off on my problems, huh? Listening to all my pitiful little feelings..."
Eric clenched his fists so hard, his knuckles were turning white.
"... and you must be a real masochist, too! Letting an initiate beat you to the ground..."
"You can stop talking any day now, Smart Mouth."
"... Oh! And I guess you're a sadist, as well, huh? Slapping an initiate because she's curious..."
"Shut up, already!"
"... about why, if you're not mute, you choose not to speak to her! What the fuck is that about?! I mean..."
"Please, just shut the fuck up..."
"... really? Did the little attack on your patrol fuck with your mind that much? You got scared, huh? Did you piss your pants, too? Do you cry at night? Do you curl up in a little ball, and-."
"F- f- fucking sh- shut up al- already!" Eric screamed, his eyes going wide in horror, as he realized what he had just done.
**Given Up - Linkin Park