Author's Note:
As always, a huge 'Thank you!' to all of my lovely reviewers! You guys always make me smile! :)
mona-rose - I love a vulnerable tough guy, too! Especially, when it's Eric, lol :)
Girloftheshadowsx - Don't worry! He'll let her in more and more:) And thanks, I kinda used some of my own experiences with being captivated by little things for Lia's Vortex experience, lol :)
kmcracerx - Don't worry, things are going to change for Eric! And Lia!... And everybody! I'm so excited for what I have planned :D I know! Y chromosome be damned, ergh D
JohnnyStormsGirl - I'm so glad I made your day! And I'm guessing your going to like this chapter, then *wink wink*.
RisughXD - Yeah, turbulent relationships leave room for make-up sex (tee-hee-hee!). And thank you for the compliment on my smut-writing! :)
Interdictum in aeternum - WOW, lots of compliments there! Thank you so much! Yes! I totally got the SKWAD reference;) [I'm so glad he gets to use his Australian accent!] Yeah... he does have a rather dark past; pre-Dauntless, to be exact. But, he's had it rough at Dauntless, too... Pretty much, the majority of his life, is a big, sad sob story. Is this update soon enough? :)
Simana - Thank you so much for reviewing! I love getting new reviewers! I'm glad you're enjoying this, and please feel free to keep giving feedback:)
Feigningintrest - It won't be long, until he has an "epiphany" :D And yes, Eric is a total coward right now. He has completely forgotten what it means to be Dauntless, and he needs Lia to remind him... Even if it means pushing his buttons! :) He's got to face the music, so to speak, lol. More accurately his fears :) Thank you for reading!
Electric Blue Reader - Ready to find out? ... Dah Dah!
EvieLyn - Oh, girl, you got no idea how close you were to being right! In the first draft of the plot outline, I actually did have Eric attempt to off himself... it was bloody, lol.
Nephica - We got a new reader in the house! Whoop whoop! So glad you're enjoying it, and I can't wait to here more back from you!
Classybird - I am right there with ya' Classy, but sometimes it takes a major wake up call to turn your life around, huh? And, I'll make sure she tones it down soon, there's only so much a guy can take, lol :) And I know, it makes me sad even writing about how he feels, and we haven't even delved that deep into his mind, or the way he thinks, yet. Lots of ups, and lots of downs, coming to an update near you!
Guys, seriously, I love you... I love you! You guys make my days; I have been going through so much bullshit in my life right now, and writing and reading your guys reviews seriously helps me keep going. Ya'll just don't understand, seriously, thank you guys:') xoxo
"Fuck! Eric?!"
Lauryn and Cordelia sprinted through the doors of the training room when they heard Four's panicked voice. The brown-haired instructor was kneeling beside Eric, who had his head in his hands, an anguished grimace on the blonde's face.
Eric's vision was blurry, and the pain in his head was excruciating; he couldn't believe this was happening, again. One minute, he had been beating his stresses away on the heavy bag, and the next, he was dropping to his knees.
"Is it happening?" Lauryn spoke quietly, when they reached the two men, fear apparent in her green orbs. Cordelia looked from Four, to Eric, to the red-head, in confusion. The dark-haired girl was exceptionally concerned; she didn't understand what was going on.
"I don't know," Four responded, his brow furrowed, equally worried at the state of the young leader. "Eric? Eric."
The blonde squeezed his eyes shut, tightly, as another stab of pain shot through his brain. He couldn't prevent the shout of agony that escaped from his lips, and his breathing was heavy, and ragged.
"Please," he thought, with an overwhelming sense of regret. "Not now; not yet. Not yet..."
Eventually, after several fearful minutes, the pain receded, though the young leader still had a throbbing headache. He laid back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling as he allowed himself a brief moment of rest after the harrowing ordeal that he had just endured, his chest heaving as his breathing regulated back to normal.
"Somebody, please tell me what the hell that was?" Lia demanded, her voice trembling; she hadn't seen the blue-eyed instructor behave like this before, and it scared her.
Four and Lauryn shared a look, while the blonde forced himself to his feet, wobbling unsteadily for a moment from the lingering vertigo. The red-head opened her mouth to speak, but Eric turned to glare at her with icy daggers, and she quickly backed down.
"What the fuck is going on?" the former Candor directed her words at Eric, growing angry at the instructors' hesitance to provide her with information. The dark-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest protectively, knowing that whatever this was, it wasn't good.
The young leader reached behind him to pull out his pad and pen, but Lia's voice caused his hand to stop midway into his pocket.
"Don't write me another bullshit note, Eric!" her tone of voice surprised not only the blonde, but Four and Lauryn, as well. "Prove that you aren't a coward! Fucking tell me!"
The blue-eyed man hesitated; sure, everyone in this room knew that he had a stutter, but, it didn't mean that he wasn't self-conscious. Nonetheless, the fair-skinned transfer had struck a chord within him, with her harsh statement, and Eric knew that he had to face this fear.
"I- I- I'm d- d-, I'm dying, L- lia."
The dark-haired girl laughed, incredulously, in denial. "Very funny, asshole. I'm serious." When the young leader shifted his gaze to the floor, his jaw set, Cordelia knew that he wasn't joking, and her face fell. "What?"
Eric continued to stare at the floor, and he cleared his throat a bit, awkwardly. "C- c- chr- chronic, chronic s- s- subdural h- hema- hematoma, c- c- caused, caused by T- t- t- t- t- t- t-."
"Traumatic Brain Injury," Four finished, quietly, flanking Eric's right side, and placing a hand on the other man's shoulder, in support. At Lia's confused expression, he continued. "It means his brain is bleeding, and where it's located, is inoperable."
The dark-haired girl felt oddly numb, and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "When?" Eric met her gaze then, his usually icy-blue orbs, looking more grey, and tired.
"W- w- when-, whenever," he replied, simply, a despondent expression on his face. "C- c- could- could've, could've gone y- y- yester-, yesterday; c- could be, could be t- t- tom- tomorrow... C- c- could b- b- be y- years, years."
Lia glanced at Lauryn, the red-head's green orbs full of sorrow, and relief, at the same time. The former Candor realized that the Dauntless-born instructor had really thought that Eric was going to die, only moments ago. The numbness began to fade, and gave way to fear, and trepidation. The dark-haired girl understood, now, the blonde's unwillingness to let her in.
"I've misjudged you," Cordelia started, her lower lip trembling, as she felt the tears sting her eyes. When the young leader raised an eyebrow in confusion, she continued. "You choose to be lonely, because you don't want to hurt anybody else, when you... when you go."
Lia knew that she had hit the nail on the head, judging by the resigned look that she received from the blonde. She drew in a shaky breath, willing herself to remain calm; it would obviously not do anyone in the room any good if she were to break down.
"Why do you gotta act like such a damn Stiff?" she inquired, unable to prevent her very Candor upbringing from rearing it's ugly head.
Eric's eyes went wide at the amber-eyed transfer's laconic suggestion, but it didn't slow her down. "The fuck you wanna be selfless for? You're supposed to be brave, remember? You've already given up! You should be living your life, doing whatever the fuck you want! Not waiting around to die! Don't worry about the people that will be sad when you're gone; it's a good thing, if they are. Leave a fucking legacy, for heavens' sake!"
Cordelia didn't realize that she was screaming at the blonde, or that she was crying, until she paused for air. She growled, in frustration, before storming out of the training room, leaving the others behind.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Eric is the mystery musician," Lauryn stated, after the blonde had trudged off to his apartment, in silence. "Did you know that?"
Tobias' eyes went wide, with shock, and his mouth hung open. "What? But, that doesn't make sense; the mystery musician doesn't have a-."
"I know, I don't understand, either," the red-head responded, sighing deeply. She shuffled her feet where she stood, wrapping her arms around her waist to ward off the chilly air in the training room.
Four scratched his head, chewing on his lip, while he stared at the green-eyed woman. "Okay, well, that explains a few things, anyway... I swear to God, when I saw him on the floor, I thought that was it, too."
"Yeah," the Dauntless-born instructor agreed, nodding her head a bit, and frowning. "So, I guess that's one of the episodes that Cobra was talking about would happen... Does that mean it's going to happen soon?"
"I don't know," Four answered, frustrated with the whole situation; his former enemy, turned friend, was dying a slow, and painful death, and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. "Maybe this isn't the first time he's had an episode, either... Maybe that's why he... well, you remember that day."
Lauryn exhaled, shakily, at the memory of finding the man who saved her life, lying unconscious on the floor of his bathroom, blood pulsing out of the long, deep gashes running down his forearms with each, irregular beat of his heart. The image haunted her; she had night terrors that they weren't able to get help to him, in time. "You're saying that there's a possibility that this has been happening for more than six months?"
"I think we need to go have a talk with Cobra," Four said, evenly, as he turned around, heading for the exit. "Right now."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Lia had no appetite at dinner, which surprised everyone who had witnessed her previous, drug haze. The dark-haired girl didn't seem to notice when her friends addressed her; she just stared off, into space, with her chin resting in the palm of her hand.
"I'm still high, what's wrong with you?" Uriah shook the former Candor's shoulders, roughly, to get her attention. "Come on, your negative energy is totally killing my buzz!"
"Nobody cares, Uri!" the amber-eyed girl growled, scowling at the darker-skinned, Dauntless-born. Marc and Sassy exchanged a wary glance, and Violet simply fidgeted, awkwardly, in her seat.
"Hey," the purple-haired girl chirped up, forcing a smile. "You want to listen to some music? I made a mix-tape of the mystery-."
"Shut up, Vi!" Cordelia screamed, standing from the table, and marching towards the Pit. Marc hurried to follow his seemingly distraught friend, grabbing her arm before she reached the exit.
"Hey! What's going on with you, Lia?" he demanded, concern, and irritation evident in his tone. "Are you fucking bipolar, or something? Because every couple of hours, it's like the difference between night and day with you!"
Cordelia's expression was one void of emotion; a blank mask, to hide her inner turmoil. "Just leave me be, Marc."
The amber-eyed girl turned to leave again, but the Amity boy blocked her escape route. "No," he said, firmly, pointing a finger in her face. "I care-, we care about you, too much, to let you keep running away. Tell me what the hell is wrong with you, now."
The dark-haired girl sighed, in exasperation, crossing her arms over her chest, and placing a cool hand to her forehead. "Marc, I can't, okay? I-... I actually need to go talk to somebody, right now."
Lia shoved past her ginger-haired friend, swinging the doors open, and leaving a very concerned, freckled boy behind her. She didn't know if Eric would be at his apartment, or on the roof, but she had a feeling it was the latter.
The Candor transfer hurried through the damp corridors, taking the back entrance to the stairwell that led up to the roof of the training center. She jogged up the stairs, pushing through the door at the top, and stepped out into the chilly, night air.
There were no stars out, tonight, and the moon was mostly hidden by dark, grey clouds overhead. Just as she had expected, the young leader was already there, sitting in the same place he had when they had their first conversation. He looked up at Cordelia, an expression that was difficult to decipher in the darkness, spread over his face.
"Hey," Lia said, quietly, as she moved to sit next to the blue-eyed man on the floor. "I'm sorry... for what I said earlier. I just-."
"D- d- don't be," the blonde cut in, meeting her soft gaze, as he stared into her gold-flecked amber orbs. "Y- you-, you're r- right... I- I'm a, c- c- coward." The young leader hung his head, in shame, exhaling loudly. "I- I- I d- don't, don't w- want t- t- to be, th- though."
The dark-haired girl felt a strong ache in her heart, at the despair in her instructor's voice, and she scooted close to him, satisfied when he didn't flinch away. "Then do something about it," she suggested, gently, mentally chastising herself for her earlier choice of words; though, if it made a difference, she could forgive herself. "You don't have to do everything at once; you can take it one step at a time."
"H- how, how do I- I s- start?" the innocence that the feared and silent leader projected caught the Candor girl off guard. Eric met her eyes again, his crystal-blue orbs filled with a mixture of various emotions; the most prevalent, disappointment.
"What's something you want? That's where I would start," Lia informed him, matter-of-factly. "If-... If time is of the essence, then there's no use depriving yourself of what makes you happy."
"I- I- I w- want... s- some- something I- I c- c- can't, can't h- have," he replied, and the honesty and disenchantment in his stammered words made Lia's eyes burn.
"You're Dauntless; take it anyway," she ordered, forcing down the lump in her throat. "Just take it."
Eric gulped, audibly, and the attention that his blue orbs paid to her lips caused Cordelia to shudder. "D- do you, do you r- r- really l- like m- my, my s- s- stutter?"
The lower octave that the young leader's voice had dropped to, had Lia's breathing picking up. "I do."
"C- c- can, can I- I-?"
"Yes," the dark-haired girl responded to his unspoken request, shifting around so that her entire body was facing her instructor, suddenly feeling bold, as her pulse quickened. "Don't think; just do it."
The blonde leaned in, slowly, his blue orbs never breaking Lia's gaze, as he pressed his lips to hers, gently. The feeling of magneticism prevented him from pulling away, and he deepened the kiss, moving his mouth against Cordelia's. He moaned, when the dark-haired girl slid her tongue across his lower lip, and he opened his mouth to allow her entrance.
Lia's tongue danced with his, as she found the hem of the young leader's shirt, her hands pushing up to explore Eric's toned stomach, and chest. The blonde slid his fingers into the Candor transfer's silky, dark-brown hair, tugging her closer, relishing in the unconceiled passion that his initiate had ignited within him.
The blue-eyed instructor leaned back against the wall, pulling Cordelia onto his lap, where she straddled him, never breaking apart; never coming up for air.
Eric moved his arms around her waist, pulling the dark-haired girl flush against him, as his hands explored the soft skin of her back, under her thin shirt, eliciting whimpers of gratitude from Lia. The blonde tugged on the ring in the amber-eyed girl's lip, the taste of metal and mint swirling on his tongue.
The former Candor eventually broke away, for a breath of much-needed oxygen, and Eric pushed her head to the side, moving her hair out of the way to gain access to the milky-white skin of her throat. He sucked, and nipped, at the sensitive skin, slowly making his way to Lia's collarbone, and the amber-eyed girl couldn't prevent the moans of pleasure that fell from her lips, even had she wanted to.
"Eric," she breathed, as she felt him harden beneath her, groaning as she rolled her hips down to relieve some of the friction. The blonde moaned at the contact, gripping her hips firmly, as his mouth captured Cordelia's pink lips, once again.
"What the hell is this?"
Eric jumped, startled at the sound of his superior's voice, and he quickly pushed the dark-haired girl off of him, offering her an apologetic look, before turning to face the leader of Dauntless.
"Down boy," Max ordered, smirking, as the blonde quickly covered his noticeable desire with his hands. Lia was blushing, furiously, though she was already flushed from the heated make out session with her instructor.
"I swear, I don't even remember why I came up here, now," Max announced, chuckling, and shaking his head. "Just do me a favor, and keep this thing a secret until after initiation."
The dark-skinned man took his leave, laughing as he made his way down the stairs.
"Well," Cordelia began, grinning, as she turned to face Eric, once more. "That was-... Are you blushing?"
The blonde's eyes had gone wide, as he pursed his lips a bit, and shook his head slowly. The expression caused Lia to giggle, incessantly, turning into a full-blown cackle when the young leader responded with a 'U- um... N- n- no?'.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
The former Candor girl had parted ways with her instructor, giving him a brief, chaste kiss on the lips, before skipping down the stairs. She made her way to the dorm, shedding her clothes on her way to the showers.
The dark-haired girl felt giddy, as she stepped under the hot spray of water, and found herself humming to one of Eric's songs, which had her giggling.
"Seriously?!" Marc turned when he noticed his friend had joined him, shampoo dangerously close to dripping in his left eye from where the suds hung from his limp, ginger hair. "Now you're happy? I can't keep track of this!"
Cordelia laughed, when her Amity friend groaned, unable to contain her joy. "Don't worry, Marc," she replied, still giggling, as she lathered soap over her long, pale legs. "I think I might stay happy for a while."
The freckled boy rolled his eyes, placing a dollop of hair conditioner on his Candor friend's nose. Her smile faultered, only briefly, when the thought crossed her mind that there was a possibility that Eric might not live past initiation. She quickly shoved that thought to the back of her mind, and instead focused on the memory of her instructor's lips moving passionately against her own.
A/N:
I am not a doctor! Chronic Subdural Hematoma is not usually fatal, there is a procedure where a qualified neurosurgeon can drill a hole through the skull, and drain the blood that has pooled from damaged veins. There have been several cases, however, where the Hematoma was too close to an artery to perform the operation safely; thus, leaving the fate of the affected person at the mercy of time. That being said... the plot thickens! Tell me what ya' think:) xoxo