Author's Note:
Sorry for taking so long again, I've had a rough couple days:/ But, I hope this makes up for it, and hopefully I can have the next chapter up tomorrow:) It had gotten so long, I had to cut it, but I didn't want to leave anything out, so I just have to finish a bit more of the next chapter, it's mostly done:) So, thanks to everybody that reads my story, and special thanks to everybody who fave, follows, and reviews!
mona-rose
- I didn't name it! I swear I didn't! I heard about it the first time on a interview with the Divergent cast, and then I've seen it used in a few stories since then:) I can't take the credit, lol :) I know! And Eric already feels bad about what he said to her; don't worry, she'll be back in a very short amount of time;) (Go read Alone)
Feigningintrest
- I'm sorry I killed you a little inside! :( There is some fluff in here, I promise! There will be a lot more fluff in a couple of chapters, though;)(Go read All of her stories! They are all awesome, the ones I've read so far, and let me tell you... whew!)
NL92
- Yeah, he will be getting what's coming to him VERY soon;) And yeah, they are going to get worse, and will happen more often the closer to death Eric gets:( And, you'll just have to wait and see about Maddy;)
RisughXD
- I know! :( It hurt my heart to even write him being in so much pain, and unfortanately, that is far from over:( But, yeah, what kinda person would I be, if I just contined to let Eric let himself get trampled; I mean, he's Eric, lol :) I think you are going to like the next chapter:D ILY 2! :) xoxo (Go read The Last Scene)
Simana
- Thank you so much! :) Yeah, I've got big plans for Uriah, I mean, he is the ONLY divergent in my story, for a reason, lol :) Not even Four is a divergent! :) But, yeah, Uriah is a clown most of the time, but when it counts, the little goof-ball will surprise you;)
EvieLyn
- Sorry! :( But, yeah you're going to like the next chapter:) And hopefully this one! :) xoxo (Go read Take Care)
Murmelinchen
- You're welcome! (Go read Last Resort & She Will Be His Downfall, and check out the SONGFIC!) Yeah, I know! I was writing it, and I was worried about him too! Yeah, unfortunately, there will be several episodes the closer he gets to death... as a hint, if you look at how often they happen, you might even be able to figure out just HOW close he is;) And I know! I'm glad he got some new friends too! Right now, he just sees them as Lia's friends, but it won't be long, and he'll figure out that they are hanging out with him, for him, and not for Lia :) ILY xoxo
Thank you all again so much! Here you go! :)
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Once the group had entered the young leader's apartment, Eric excused himself to the bathroom to clean up the blood that stained his face, and clothing, insisting that Lia and her friends make themselves at home. He trudged slowly down the hall, rubbing his eyes with his fists, as the fatigue he was experiencing worsened.
Several minutes, and several, cold splashes of water to his face, later, Eric was feeling much more alert.
He quickly went to his bedroom to change out of the blood-soaked clothing he was currently wearing, and emerged a few minutes later adorned with a tight, black pair of jeans, and a snug-fitting white t-shirt. He heard Marc speaking, as he reentered his living room.
"-only for you, Sas," the former Amity grinned, earning himself a punch in the shoulder from the blue-haired girl. "Oh, hey Eric. You okay?"
"U- uh..." the blonde nodded, shyly, before locking gazes with the amber-eyed girl. "I- I- I, I'll b- be b- b- back, s- soon, o- okay? I- I- I n- n- need t- to, need to d- do s- some- something."
"Okay," Lia responded, with a small smile, standing from her seat on the couch to give the blonde a quick, tight embrace, before planting a light kiss on his cheek. "Can I show them the music room?"
"Y- y- you c- can d- d- do w- what- whatever y- you w- want, i- if I- I- I c- can g- get a- an- another k- kiss," Eric replied in a low voice, smirking wickedly as he did so, causing the dark-haired girl to blush, a light pink. "D- do w- w- we, do we h- have-?"
The blonde's words were cut off, as Cordelia suddenly grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down to smash her lips against his slightly chapped ones. She pulled at the small hairs on the back of his neck, as she bit down on Eric's bottom lip, hard enough to draw a bit of blood.
The young leader hissed, before growling, at the mix of pleasure and pain, and Lia ran her tongue across the small wound, moaning into her instructor's mouth as the metallic taste of blood graced her taste buds. As quickly as she had initiated the passionate gesture, she broke it off, offering an innocent expression to the blonde, who was breathing heavily, with his pupils blown so large, Lia could barely make out his icy-blue irises.
"Y- y- yeah, y- you c- can d- d- do, do w- what- whatever y- you w- w- want."
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Tobias had just finished washing his dishes from lunch, when he heard several, loud knocks on his door. He dried his hands on a plain, black hand towel, before opening his door wide, to find a nervous-looking Eric on his doorstep.
"Come inside," the brown-haired intelligence officer stood back, waiting for the blonde to enter, before closing the door behind him. He eyed the young leader suspiciously, watching as the blue-eyed man stood awkwardly in his living room, tapping his foot rapidly, and twiddling his fingers. "Sit down."
Eric complied, taking a seat on the worn couch, but he couldn't prevent his knee from bouncing up and down, much to his dismay.
"Dude, what's going on?" Four inquired, growing slightly nervous himself, at the state of his blonde friend. "Should I be worried, right now?"
"N- n- no," Eric responded, quietly, forcing himself to take a deep breath, as he wiped a thin sheen of sweat off of his brow. "I- I-, I j- just, u- uh... I- I- I m- mean... I- I- I'm n- not..."
"Whoa, dude," Tobias moved to sit beside the young leader, placing a hand on his back, and he could feel the accelerated beat of the blue-eyed instructor's heart. "Calm down. Just tell me."
"F- f- fuck..." the blonde swallowed thickly; he was not used to this sort of thing, but he knew it needed to be done. He didn't want to have any regrets, and after having received a taste of his own medicine from Trevor... Eric had to do this.
"I- I- I- I'm, I'm, I'm... s- sorry. I- I'm s- sorry, F- four," Eric hung his head, in shame, and embarrasment. The young leader couldn't remember if those words had ever left his mouth, before, and it was an odd experience for him.
"For what?" Tobias asked, incredulously. As far he knew, the blue-eyed man hadn't wronged him, in any way. He was very confused as to what this was all about.
Eric sighed, deeply, exhaling forcefully, before continuing. "P- p- pick- picking o- on y- y- you... y- y- ya' kn- know, b- b- before." The young leader resorted to picking at his nails, as he chewed on his bottom lip. This was definitely not within the realms of his comfort zone.
"That's in the past, bro," Four said, frowning a bit. "What brought this on?" Tobias noticed the forlorn look in the downcast, blue orbs of his blonde friend, and he sighed deeply, again.
"T- t- trevor... h- he... he h- heard, he heard me t- t- talk- talking," Eric admitted, with yet another defeated sigh. "H- he, he o- out- outted me, outted me i- in f- f- front o- of ev- ev- ev- ev- ev- ev- ev-..." The young leader loathed how his stutter would worsen at different times, making it almost impossible to get the words out. This was something he only recently discovered, however, as he only recently started speaking again.
"Everybody?" Four inquired, with a raised eyebrow, growing enraged at the man that Eric used to call a friend. The man that blindly followed Eric, when Eric was still a dick. The man that, along with the rest of Eric's so-called "friends", never once cared to visit the blonde in the infirmary after his accident.
The blue-eyed man nodded, sighing once again, before shaking his head in disgust. "I- I- I w- would- would've d- done, done th- th- the s- same, same th- thing... b- back i- in the d- d- day."
"Don't let that asshole get to you," Tobias scoffed, his words coming out as a slight growl. "He's not worth a turd of your time."
"I- I- I d- didn't c- come, come h- here, come here a- ab- about m- me," Eric was growing slightly frustrated; yeah, Trevor had embarrassed him, and now probably all of Dauntless knew about his stutter, but, that was not why he came here. He had felt the sting of the bully, the sting that he himself used to inflict, and his main target had been his current best friend.
"I- it's, it's a b- b- big d- deal t- t- to m- me, th- that I- I- I u- used t- to... used to m- make y- y- you f- feel, feel l- like, like th- this," the young leader rubbed his face roughly with his hands, anxious about the entire situation. "I- I, I j- j- just, w- want- wanted t- to, to s- say s- s- sor- sorry, b- before, before I- I..." Eric found it hard to say the words, not because of his stutter, but because of the reality of those words. He didn't have much time left, maybe not even a month, and he wanted to go out with as few regrets as possible; he had enough regrets that he wouldn't be able to do anything about.
"I get it," Four said, in a slightly strained voice, and forced a tight-lipped smile. "You're forgiven, dude."
"O- okay, s- s- so n- now, now th- that w- we g- got th- th- the m- mush- mushy sh- sh- shit, shit o- out of th- the w- w- way, w- w- wanna, wanna s- s- smoke?"
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When Eric and Four opened the door to the young leader's apartment, they were met with loud music, that rattled even the thick walls of his near-sound-proofed apartment. The blonde threw a nervous glance towards his brown-haired friend, as he made his way to his music room, Tobias following on his heels.
When he entered the spacious room, Zeke's brother was banging away on the drum set, Violet was pumping on a red, electric bass, and Amity was rocking out on a black and blue, electric guitar. Cordelia was sitting on the blue-haired girl's lap, as Sassy occasionally made minor adjustments to the sound board, and no one seemed to notice the young leader, and the company that he had brought.
Eric was pleasantly surprised; Lia's friends were actually really good, and they were playing a song that he hadn't recorded yet, but it was his song. His eyes shifted to the scattered sheets of music on the white, fold-up table at the front of the room just beside the door, and realized that he must of left them out.
"Bro, this is your set up?" Tobias asked loudly, causing the initiates to jump in surprise as they stopped playing. "This is fucking awesome!"
The young leader was getting really tired of all the blushing that he had been doing lately; he was a leader of Dauntless for fuck sake, not some flower-wielding Amity, or compliment-shy Abnegation. Still, he wasn't used to this kind of attention, and he was rather self-conscious when it came to his music; his release.
"Y- y- you g- guys, you guys w- w- weren't, weren't k- kid- kidding," Eric said, ignoring Tobias' assertion. "Y- y- you- you're r- really, really g- g- good."
"Wow!" Uriah exclaimed, happily, as he moved away from the drum set, practically skipping past Eric and Four, as he made his way into the living room. "I'm really good! You heard him!"
"We!" Marc called, as he slid the guitar strap over his head, before placing it back in the stand. "He said, 'we' are good!"
The blonde couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, as Lia, and the rest of her friends, followed him and Four into the living room to join Uriah. The coffee table was pushed away, and they created a circle on the floor, with Lia to Eric's right, Four to Eric's left, Violet to Four's left, then Sassy, then Marc, then Uriah, who sat to Lia's right.
The darker-skinned Dauntless-born wasted no time in packing a long-necked, multi-colored bong, before passing it off to Eric, since the young leader had paid for the weed, and it was only fair he got the first hit.
The blonde didn't take the time to inspect the paraphanalia this time, and quickly lit the small bud of green in the bowl, inhaling deeply, as the water in the bottom of the pipe bubbled up. Just like his first experience, his expression quickly turned goofy, and he grinned like an idiot when he passed the bong to Tobias.
Four had a hard time containing his laughter, at the expression on Eric's face; he had never seen a high Eric, before, and it was quite entertaining, thus far. He placed his lips over the opening at the top, as he lit the small bud again, inhaling deeply, and pulling out the stem to gather all of the deliciously-harmful smoke into his lungs.
The young leader tried to forcefully remove the grin from his face, pulling at the corners of his mouth with his fingers, which resulted in everyone laughing at his useless attempts. Eric snorted softly, and repeatedly, as he tried to prevent the laughter that threatened to bubble up out of his throat.
"Hey Eric," Tobias said, with a mischievious grin on his face, as he passed the bong to Violet, who immediately passed it off to Sassy. "Guess what?"
The young leader's eyes went wide, as he expected to learn something interesting from his brown-haired friend. "Wh- wh- what?"
"...Diarrhea."
The brown-haired man had said the crude word with such a straight face, and indifferent tone of voice, that Eric could not contain the laughter anymore. His high-pitched cackle echoed through the room, and everyone else joined in at the unexpected craziness displayed by both of their instructors.
"Wh- wh- what?! I- I, I m- mean, wh- wh- why?! I- I-, wh- why w- would...?!" Eric had wrapped both of his arms around his middle as he laughed so hard, that tears came to his eyes, and he fell onto Tobias, his head landing in the brown-instructor's lap.
"Well," Four said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, as he dropped his voice an octave. "Hey, baby."
This started a whole new level of laughter for the young leader, and his guests, and he thought he just might die of laughter, as his sides screamed in protest.
"F- f- fuck, F- four!" Eric managed to speak, with great difficultly, through his incessant cackling. "Pl- please, please s- s- stop!"
"Stop what?" Tobias countered, with a feigned innocence plastered over his sharp features, as he watched his light-weight stoner of a friend turn red from laughter.
"Y- you, you kn- kn- know wh- what!" The young leader fought hard to bring himself back under control, but the drug coursing through his system was causing him to have problems with that mission, and when Lia attempted to pass the bong back to him, he shook his head, quickly handing it off to Four.
The brown-haired instructor offered a vaguely blank expression to the blonde, before saying, "Diarrhea."
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Eric had no idea how much time had passed since they began smoking, he just knew he only took one hit; it was more than enough for him. At some point, he ended up on the couch, with Cordelia snuggled up to his side, and the rest of his guests just lounged in random places in his living room.
Uriah broke the comfortable silence, sitting up from where he had been sprawled out on the coffee table. "Hey, Eric, let's have a jam session!" the excitement was evident in voice, when the blonde didn't immediately shoot his idea down, and seemed to be mulling it over in his mind.
Lia liked that idea, and decided to beg to get her way, once again. "Oh, yes! Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Plea-?"
The blue-eyed instructor shut up the dark-haired girl with a deep, but very quick, kiss on her full, pink lips. "I- I th- think I- I'm, I'm s- s- still h- high en- enough f- f- for th- that." And with that, the young leader jumped to his feet, walking straight into his music room, and donning his white, electric guitar. "W- w- well?!" he hollered out into the living room, and that was all it took for everyone to hurry inside the large, white room.
"We can do the one from earlier?" Uriah inquired, as he positioned himself on the stool behind the drum kit, testing the peddles for the bass and the cymbals, before shrugging out of his jacket.
"Y- y- yeah," Eric shrugged, feeling oddly comfortable at the current moment. "S- s- sassy c- can, can w- w- work th- the s- sound- soundboard an- an- and r- record i- it. S- see h- h- how w- we w- work t- t- tog- together?"
"Sir, yes sir!" the blue-haired girl salluted the blonde, eliciting a chuckle from the young leader. "Just say when!"
"Ev- ev- every- everyb- body, r- r- ready?" Eric inquired, turning to look behind him to see that Marc was patiently waiting for the go ahead, as well as Uriah, and Violet, and they all nodded, grinning madly. "Th- th- there's a, a, a f- five, five s- sec- second d- del- delay, s- so... y- yeah, u- um, wh- wh- when."
Sassy perked up, and started the recorder, quickly adjusting the sliders to allow for the vocals. After five short tics, Uriah began a drum roll, that started light, but gradually got heavier, as Violet joined in with the wicked bass notes, and Marc and Eric started off with rapidly picked palm mutes.
Within moments, there was a decorative pause, and then they were all playing hard, low, sultry minor seventh notes that sounded quite angry, to be honest. And then Eric was screaming, a gravelly sound that only added to the rage-filled music.
Tobias was already impressed, he had a secret stash of the mystery musician's music, but he would've never guessed that Eric was said musician. He had listened to the songs so many times, that he began to sing them in his head while he worked, or he would hum them, when he was alone. Seeing it live, was a whole new experience for Four, as he watched the young leader get lost in the music, and he wondered if it was always this way.
"I don't mean to, to alarm you
Can't you see now, it overtakes you
You're declining, disintegrating
You're gonna lose it all
The time you're wasting!"
Lia glanced over to her brown-haired instructor, and she couldn't hide the smile when she saw the look of disbelief on his face. It was quite comical. She was rather surprised at this song though; while only that morning she had seen Eric play a heavy song, this was completely different. Heavy couldn't describe it, no; this was hardcore, complete with angry screaming, and yet still held the heart-wrenching lyrics. She would never understand how the blonde man that had stolen her heart was able to do this.
Tobias was surprised when Eric started stuttering, in-song; at first he thought maybe his blue-eyed friend was getting nervous, but the more times he repeated the sung-spoken words, breathily, Four realized that it was entirely intentional.
"B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out
B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out
B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out
Blackout!
Let your panic out!
Let it out, let it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
Get it out, get it out, get it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!"
As usual, Eric had forgotten that he wasn't alone; he simply thought he was blasting away through the mic, slamming down on his guitar, to release his pent up frustrations.
"'Cause you're trapped in the countdown
And your days are numbered
Don't you know that you're done for?
Right now, lights out
Let your panic out!"
Sassy was completely mesmerized; it was one thing to hear the music on a CD, and another thing completely to watch the young leader let go of his inhibitions. She watched with wide eyes, as the blonde screamed, and sang, with his eyes closed, moving all over the place. "We have got to get this guy on stage!"
"You can feel it, but you're ignoring
It creeps up on you, without a warning
You think you're thriving
But you're decaying!
You're gonna lose it all
There's no escaping!"
Uriah watched his blonde instructor out of the corner of his eyes while he beat against the percussions relentlessly; he had decided that he was going to have a talk with the young leader about possibly writing a song that didn't reveal lonliness, or death. Although, he was probably enjoying this opportunity to play with the great mystery musician of Dauntless, more than the others, and he grinned the entire time.
"Let it out, let it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
Get it out, get it out, get it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
'Cause you're trapped in the countdown
And your days are numbered
Don't you know that you're done for?
Right now, lights out
Let your panic out!"
Violet was in a state of disbelief; she stared at the blonde, as she continued to pluck the low notes on the red, bass guitar. She couldn't help feeling starstruck, when the man who had been a mystery, was basically throwing the guitar around while he played, rolling his head back, or to the side, or forward even, between the breaks in the lyrics.
"Feel it slip away, slip away
You know you're d- done for, y- you're d- done
You can't get away, get away
You know you're d- done for, y- you're d- done for!
Let it out, let it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
Let it out, let it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!
Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!
Release the panic, oh, release the panic!"**
Eric stepped back from the microphone, breathing heavily, and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, before turning around, and jumping when he saw six grinning faces.
Lia couldn't help but laugh, when she saw the wide-eyed blonde practically jump out of his skin. "You forgot we were here, again, didn't you?"
"Wait," Tobias cut in, with wide eyes. "You mean, he's always like this when he plays?" He shook his head slowly, in amazement, when Lia smirked, and nodded her head in confirmation. "Damn, bro... damn."
The young leader coughed, and averted his gaze, as he gently slid the guitar over his head and placed it in the stand. Now that he had finished the song, he was completely self-conscious, again.
"Ya' know my favorite part?" Lia drawled, as she crept up behind her blue-eyed instructor. Eric turned around, and swallowed thickly, at the tone of her voice. The former Candor continued, in a husky, breathy moan, very similar to the particular part of the song that she was referring to, "B- b- breathe in, b- b- breath out, b- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out," she said, closing her eyes, and rolling her body suggestively against the young leader, who bit his lip at her actions.
"Okay!" Marc cried, holding up a hand, at the same time as Tobias, to cover his eyes from the sensual display. "Let's go eat, I've got the munchies!"
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The group made their way down to the dining hall, and just when they were about to enter through the double doors, Eric froze.
Everyone else had already walked through the doors, and when Lia noticed that one of her instructor's was missing, she turned around, instructing the others to go ahead. She walked back out, and found Eric just standing there, staring at the door.
"Eric?" she asked, approaching the blonde, and placing a hand on his arm. "Eric, what's wrong?" She watched his adam's apple bob up, and down, as he swallowed, nervously, and his hands were trembling.
"I- I- I, I d- don't th- think... a- a- after, after ea- ea- earlier... I- I, j- just-," Eric didn't want to admit that he was scared to face the dining hall full of Dauntless. He was afraid, especially after what had happened with Trevor, and then he had run out...
"I'm a coward. I'm not going to be a coward."
"Oh, Eric-," Lia started, but the young leader cut her off, shaking his head, as he spoke.
"N- n- no, I- I'm n- n- not a, a, a c- cow- coward," the blue-eyed man clenched his jaw, and determinedly strode through the doors, making his way over to Lia's friends, and Four. He could feel the stares, and he could hear the whispers, all around him. Some people weren't even attempting to be quiet, and he rolled his eyes, and continued walking, the dark-haired girl right on his heels.
As soon as he slid onto the bench between Tobias, and Lia, Trevor and the rest of Eric's former posse made their way over. The young leader felt his heart rate pick up, and he couldn't look any of his former "friends" in the eye, not even the platinum-blonde female, Clipper, whom he had lost his virginity to, on a strictly-friends basis.
"H- h- h- h- hey, E- e- e- eric!" Trever sneered, gaining some satisfaction when the stuttering leader simply bowed his head, with his eyes closed. "Hey! I'm t- t- t- talking to y- y- y- y- you!"
"Eric?!" Uriah whispered, harshly, slapping his hand on the table. "Do something! Don't let them do that shit to you!"
Tobias went to stand up, fully intent on giving the small group a piece of his mind, and maybe a taste of his fist down their throats, but Eric grabbed his arm in a death grip, forcing him back down. "D- d- don't," he said, in a low voice, and a coldness in his expression that had been missing the past week.
"Awe, baby," Clipper pouted, whining as she crossed her arms over her busty chest. "Don't be like that!"
"Baby?" Lia whispered, frowning at the platinum-blonde woman who had spoken.
"L- l- later, L- lia," Eric growled, scowling up at the girl, and turning his head when Blaze addressed him, next.
"So," the orange-haired man began, shifting his weight to one leg, and worrying his snakebite lip piercings. "That why Maddy left you? She found out that you were r- r- r- r- retarded?"
** Release the Panic - Red (I added the stutters, though, but it fit in, lol)
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A/N:
Oh! What's gonna happen next?! :D xoxo