Next morning, Thorin woke up when he felt Laurelin stirring beside him. The weren't really asleep anymore, but neither were they quite awake yet ; their minds were still lost in this delicious state between sleep and awareness, and the last remnants of their sweet dreams were still vivid, full of colours. But in the end, it was Laurelin who opened the eyes first. Her head was still on Thorin's strong arm, using it as a pillow, but they had moved during their sleep and their positions had changed slightly. The arm that was around Laurelin when they had fallen asleep was now stretched out on the pillow, and Thorin's other hand – who had been holding Laurelin's the previous night – was now resting on his stomach. And Laurelin's hand had moved, too. It was now on Thorin's broad chest. His hair tickled her softly, but she didn't want to move. It felt too good to be laying there beside him. She watched his slow, deep breathing for a long moment, feeling relaxed and serene and happy.
After a while, Thorin felt her gaze on him, and that's what woke him up for good. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. A broad smile stretched his lips when he realized everything had been true not a dream, no, but reality. Laurelin was truly there, laying next to him in the same bed. Every detail of what had happened the previous day came back to his memory, overwhelming him with happiness. He moved his hand slightly, so that his fingers touched Laurelin's.
« Did you sleep well... Sweetheart ? » He asked in a whisper, his voice still hoarse after long hours of sleep. « How are you feeling ? »
« I am fine... » She replied truthfully, even if the word 'fine' was not nearly strong enough to express what she was feeling right now. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, and her smile was so warm that it would have melted the permanent snows on the highest peaks of Ered Luin. Then she winced slightly, because the pain had woken up as well. She would have to take another swallow of Oìn's potion as soon as possible, to numb it again.
Thorin sighed deeply, then he turned to lay on his side and he buried his face in Laurelin's soft neck. His arm – the one she wasn't resting her head on – wrapped itself around her waist, where it stayed. Thorin didn't want to leave her again – not now, not ever. He wanted to stay at her side for the rest of his life.
Laurelin welcomed his tender hug and put her arms around him as well, trying to convey to him how much he meant to her, how much she cared for him, how much she loved him. Her hand moved up to his head, to stroke his temple and his thick, black hair. Then she kissed him on the brow it was a long, loving kiss. Thorin moaned softly in response, then Laurelin rested her forehead against his, and they stayed like that for a very long time. Thorin's hand rubbed Laurelin's back and shoulders, and then her neck. He loved to feel his skin under his fingers. She relaxed, and slowly drifted into a superficial sleep again. Thorin soon followed her.
Almost half an hour had gone by when they woke for the second time. The sun was already high in the sky, and a sudden fear seized Thorin : what if the serving maids had started roaming the corridors ? How would he go back to his own bedroom unnoticed ? And what if somebody had knocked on his door and no one had answered ? He was still sleepy and he didn't feel up to explaining to anyone what he had been doing in Laurelin's personal bedchamber. He would have to think about finding the right words, before speaking of this to anybody.
With a displeased groan, Thorin gently slipped his arm out from under Laurelin's head, then – since she was laying between him and the edge of the bed – he crawled carefully over her still dozing, body. He kissed her on the lips in passing, very softly, and his fingers stroked her cheeks.
Laurelin welcomed this morning kiss and smiled up at him. She lifted her hand and rested it on Thorin's wrist, her thumb softly stroking his skin. She wasn't afraid to look him in the eyes, now that she didn't have to hide her feelings from him anymore.
« Are you hungry ? » Thorin asked, and Laurelin couldn't help but smile to see him so thoughtful.
Laurelin nodded in response in truth, she wasn't hungry but famished, since she hadn't eaten much the day before. The events of the day – and also Oìns pain-killer potion – had made her slightly queasy, and she had only managed to force down a slice of bread with some cheese, but now her stomach was empty and it growled in protest when Thorin talked about food.
The King of Erebor knew that Laurelin was still considered a serving girl by almost everybody in Erebor. Of course she was lodged in the royal aisle itself, which was a very high honour, and she even had a personal bedroom – an immense privilege for a maid, since most of them had to share their personal space with their masters or with other servants – but in the end her status hadn't changed yet : She was still a serving girl. And Thorin knew she would only be tended to at the very end of the morning, when all the other important Dwarves of the royal aisle would have had their breakfast. He didn't like the idea of her having to wait so long.
Thorin sighed, and pulled the blankets back over Laurelin's body. Then he kissed her on her forehead before walking away from his bed :
« I'll be back in a moment... » He said, with a smile of complicity.
He had to go back to his bedroom before his own breakfast would be served, if he didn't want to raise any suspicions among the kitchen girls. And he knew there would be plenty enough for the both of them, so it was happy and light-hearted that he returned to his chambers. He washed quickly and put on some fresh garments, then he heard the awaited knock on the door. He took the tray with his breakfast, and smiled as he saw there was some honey bread. Laurelin loved honey bread, even though she rarely got to eat some.
Thorin stretched, and smiled.
Life had never seemed so beautiful to him.
Four months went by like that, made of secret meetings and stolen kisses. Thorin didn't want their union to be official right away he wanted to keep Laurelin for himself for a while, just for himself, without anybody knowing or interfering. No big wedding yet. No official introduction to the people, no endless ceremonies to welcome her into her new position of Queen. It would come, eventually, but for now Thorin wanted to keep things simple and easy. It was their sweet secret, and the thrill of such an adventure added even more spice to their new relationship. Of course, keeping such a secret was a difficult taks. Thorin and Laurelin lived in the royal aisle of Erebor, along with Dìs, Fili and Kili. Each of them had servants of their own who were roaming the corridors day and night, and there were also kitchen girls bringing the food, and young boyw bringing buckets o hot water for the baths, and maids with brooms and rags to clean the bedroom, and other maids who refilled the oil lamps fixed on the walls of the corridor as soon as they were empty... Thorin had never before cared about the number of people walking past his door, in fact he had barely noticed them, but now he did notice them. Every time he wanted to join Laurelin, he has to be careful that nobody could see him. If anybody knew about thezir relatuionship before they were married, ugly rumours would spread through Erebor like wildfire, and this was the last thing Thorin wanted because he knew it would hurt Laurelin. The idea that some might call her names behind her back wqas unbearable.
Of course, servants were not the only thing to worry about. There was Dìs, too. She never asked any questions, but she had that knowing smile on her lips every times her eyes fell on Laurelin, and Thorin suspected that she had guessed what was going on – or at least part of it. He never spoke openly to her about it, though, so he didn't know how much she really knew. This uncertainty bothered him a bit, but he was sure of one thing : Dìs would not betray him. He loved and trusted her, and he knew she would never talk about anything so important to anybody, not without Thorin's approval. As for Fili and Kili, who were still Thorin's heirs as long as he had no children of his own, Thorin didn't fear too much : Fili was busy courting a young lady of his own, so his mind was definitely elsewhere, and Kili was so focused on learning how to act like a true prince of Erebor that he didn't have much time to wonder what was happening between his uncle and his maid.
Dwalin was the only one who knew with certainty even though the bald warrior was no brother by the blood, he had been a friend and a brother-in-arms to Thorin, for many years. The king had confided his love for Laurelin to him, long ago, and it was very naturally that he had also confided his relationship wqith her to him. He knew his secret was safe, with Dwalin. He'd die rather than betraying his friend's secret.
During those fout months of secrecy, Thorin learned to know more about Laurlin – in which position she liked to sleep, how she looked in the mroning when she just woke up, which tea she liked drinking before going to sleep... He also discovered how pleasant it was to be in a relationship with a woman, to know that somebody was waiting for him every night... To be welcomed home by a smile every evening... To be pampered by Laurelin's caring hands, and to be allowed to pamper her whenever he felt the desire to do so... To feel so good with her that he never wanted to part from her again... it was a wonderful feeling, and he knew – just by looking in her eyes – that it made her happy too. The sparkles in her big brown eyes were all it took to make his heart race with unbridled emotion, and the smile on her face could cheer him up even after a long and exhausting day. In Thorin's mind, Laurelin was not a servant anymore, and he didn't want to see her work for him again – never. He didn't even want her to pretend working for him, but since she was hurt she would not resume her duties for a while, giving Thorin some time to dwell on how to make their relationship official.
They didn't exactly fall into a routine – such a thing would have been impossible, given the number of people they constantly had to hide from – yet some things soon became a habit. Like Thorin's first words, every morning when he woke up.
« Good morning, my Laurelin, » he whispered, his voice still hoarse with sleepiness, and then he kissed her softly on the forehead, on the temple, on the cheeks – or on the lips. Usually it was enough to waker her, but sometimes she was so sound asleep it wasn't enough. Then Thorin called her name, very softly, till she stirred in the bed. « Laurelin, my sweet... Laurelin... »
When Thorin had to get up particularly early to do his duties he let her sleep, of course – he just kissed her softly on the top of her head, on these days, and whispered a sweet « I love you » into her ears without waking her – but all in all such days were quite rare, and most of the times he could get out of bed at a decent hour. Part of him always felt guilty when he woke her up in the morning – she was wounded, after all, and she needed rest – but he would have been unable to refrain himself. He had waited for her for such a long time... He had waited for her for years... So now that she was here, in his arms, he would have been completely unable to get out of bed without sharing at least a few moments of intimacy with her.
Once Laurelin was more or less awake, he was always very gentle and thoughtful. He loved to take her hand in his, and to watch her fondly while they talked till they were both completely awake. After a while, Laurelin always cuddled against him, and Thorin always hugged her back to show her just how much he loved her. And he kissed her, again and again, making her moan in pleasure.
« My Thorin, » she kept whispering in delight, as her arms closed tighter around his body.
Thorin loved nothing as much as hearing her say his name. Sometimes he just stared back at her with love in his eyes, but sometimes a few words escaped his lips as well.
« Yes, your Thorin... » He said. « Your Thorin who loves you to madness. Your Thorin who belongs to you for now and for eternity. »
He loved it when he felt her small arms wrap around his body, and he always responded by pulling her even closer and by rolling her onto her back, with him on top of her. Then he kissed her again and again, while his fingers played with her long, messy hair.
Some days, though, when Thorin had no duties that required him getting up early, Laurelin was the first to wake up in the morning. In this case, she loved to watch him sleep for a while – his closed eyes, his serene face, the way his chest moved as he breathed slowly and steadily... She still couldn't believe it was truly happening. She still couldn't believe he really loved her. Yet it was no dream. He was truly there, in her bed, next to her. This thought always made her blood boil with passion and tenderness. She always started kissing him while he was still asleep, very softly, tasting the softness of his lips till he finally started moaning and groaning in pleasure. She delighted when she heard him say her name, his voice still hoarse and raspy from sleep. And then, after saying her name, he always said I love you. Always. He never forgot. And every time it made her heart flutter as if it were made of butterflies.
Then, after a few moments of kissing, Thorin always grabbed her hand and opened his eyes, to look her straight in the eyes. The smile as he saw her was one of pure bliss and happiness.
« What a wonderful way to start the day... » He always said.
Laurelin had see Thorin's eyes sparkle with anger and bitterness for so many years, after the fall of Erebor, and sometimes they had been like a pair of bottomless pits, but now they were like a pair of bright blue candlelights.
After a few more moments, Thorin propped himself up on his elbows and kissed her again, with more passion this time, on the lips and all over the face, and then finishing with her lips again. It didn't last long, usuall, but it was enough to make her feel loved and cherished like never before.
And then – since on these days they were free to be a bit lazy, when Thorin had no regal duties to attend to – they loved to spend a long moment in the bed together, laying side by side, simply enjoying each other's presence. Usually their fingers were entwined lovingly, and they stared at each other with love in their eyes, whispering sweet words into each other's ears.
My sweet, my dear, my love... Who would have thought that one day the King in person would say such things to Laurelin ?
Later, once they were both up and completely awoken, Thorin walked back to his chambers, where he washed and dressed quickly – and alone, since he didn't want anybody but Laurelin to be this close to him. It never took him long. Then he took the tray of food awaiting him, and he shared the first meal of the day with Laurelin.
Of course Laurelin hadn't resumed working so far, so there was another woman who cooked for Thorin and who worked as his personal servant. She was small and strong, with a round face and a friendly smile on her full lips. She was not as good as Laurelin – nobody was – yet Thorin was still very pleased with her. Of course she had noticed that Thorin never ate alone in his chambers she had noticed he always brought his breakfast over to Laurelin's bedroom, and she had guessed – by seeing Thorin take so many precautions to go unnoticed – that the King didn't want anybody to know about their relationship. She had never said a word about it to Thorin, yet he knew she wouldn't talk. She wasn't some silly, chatty young girl. She was a reliable, trustworthy servant and no word escaped her sealed lips. Thorin was sure she would have died rather than betraying her master's secrets, and he genuinely appreciated the woman for it. After a few days, the woman had even started bringing more food from the kitchens, to be sure there was enough for two.
After their breakfast, Thorin always gave Laurelin one last kiss, and wished her a good day.
Laurelin's shoulder was wounded, but her legs sported no more than a few harmless bruises, so after Thorin's departure she always left her bedchamber sometimes she went to the market, sometimes she strolled through the lively corridors of Erebor, and sometimes whe went as far as taking a walk in the small valley between Erebor and Dale. The sun and the fresh air made always made her feel healthy and alive. Sometimes, she also carried a basket of dirty laundry in her healthy arm and brought it to the washing girls, who always welcomed her with a smile and chatter happily with her.
Thorin, on his side, didn't have the time to enjoy himself as much as Laurelin did. He had duties and responsibilities, and in a kingdom as vast as Erebor – with so many inhabitants – there was always some problem that needed to be dealt with, or some people who needed to be listened to. Thorin never complained about it, because he loved watching over his people and his kingdom like that. He loved being the one his folk turned to, to solve their problems. Yet now that he was with Laurelin, some small part of his mind kept missing her when she was far as much as he enjoyed his high status, there were days he wished he was no more than a commoner so he could have the freedom to spend more time with her.
Sometimes during these four months, Thorin had to leave the Kingdom for a day – mostly to negotiate or to sign treaties with the city of Dale. He always felt guitly on these occasions, guitly to leave Laurelin alone behind when he wanted nothing but to cuddle her in his arms all day. But fortunately, his duties never made him leave Erebor for more than a few hours in a row, and he could always join his beloved one in her bed once night had fallen.
There were days, too – not many but it happened – when Thorin's schedule left him some free time during the day. Whenever it happened, he sought Laurelin's presence part of him knew it was dangerous, because the more time he spent with her the more suspicous it would look to other people – but he couln't help it. He just needed to see her. They did everything they could to make it look as if they were no more than master and servant, and this little game added a bit of thrill to their meetings, yet another part of Thorin's mind wished they wouldn't have anything to hide at all. Having to refrain from kissing her or holding her hand because the corridors were full of people was torture, and more than once he almost betrayed their little secret by instinctively reaching out for her.
At midday, Thorin usually ate in the Great Hall of Erebor, where his people could see him and talk to him if they felt the need to. Thrain had once told Thorin that King must always be available for his folk the Dwarves did not need a distant King on a pedestal, but a man they could speak to.
Laurelin, on her side, ate in her chambers, because her morning walk usually left her tired and eager to be alone for a few moments. She enjoyed the quiet and the silence of her private chambers, then she waited for Thorin because she knew he always managed to find a few moments for her after his midday meal. It never lasted long – sometimes it was just a minute or two, because he was always very busy and he was also afraid it may look odd to the other people that he spent so much time with her – but he always came. Every day. Usually they just talked animatedly about everything that happened during the morning, and they kissed, and when Thorin felt that Laurelin was in pain he gave her a small, tender massage to ease the pain away. They loved to cuddle and to whisper sweet words into each other's ears, their secret well-protected by the thick walls of stone. Sometimes Thorin also brought her books from the library, because he knew that due to her low status Laurelin always felt a bit ill at ease among the highborn Dwarves who usually spent time there.
Sometimes Thorin's servant was with him when they met in the halls of Erebor of course they never kissed in front of her, out of modesty – and also out of respect for Laurelin's reputation – but since she knew the truth about them they relaxed in her presence and didn't feel the need to hide their affection in front of her. Once, she even went as far as telling them they were a lovely couple, even if Thorin had detected a very subtle hint of disapproval in her voice – and he couldn't blame her, for he knew very well why it was so. When a man loved and respected a woman, then he married her and made her his official wife. By keeping their relationship secret, he acted as if he was ashamed of her, as if it was just some dirty affair he didn't want people to know about. Of course, it wasn't Thorin's intent to pass on such a message – because the love he felt for Laurelin was true and deep – yet he knew this was the way things worked, in their society. It reminded him once more that he would have to do something about it, as soon as possible, before this situation could stain Laurelin's honour.
When the day was over, they usually they reunited briefy to exchange a few kisses, then they went their own way again. Thorin went back to his chambers, were he had a bath prepared by his servant. She had learned quickly enough how to prepare it properly he liked it hot, but not too much, and scented with oils or bath salts that helped him relax after the stress of the day. The first evening, the serving woman had straightforwardly asked Thorin if he needed help with his bath, but Thorin had replied gently -but firmly – that he would rather bathe alone. He knew that the woman's intentions were honorable - she just tried to help her master in every way she could – but it was just impossible for him to have anybody around while he was naked in the water. It wasn't out of modesty, but because this taks was, and would forever be, Laurelin's task. No other woman would be able to bring him what Laurelin used to bring him when she helped him, no other woman's touch would be as good and relaxing as Laurelin's touch. It was something that belonged to Laurelin, and to nobody else. Of course she was wounded and couldn't do this task for the moment he missed her, because everything just felt so empty without her, yet he was also glad that she wasn't here. Now that they weren't acting as master and servant anymore, now that they were a couple in love, it would have been much more embarrassing for him to let her see him naked. The change in their relationship would have made it awkward, maybe even a bit unpleasant, and he definitely didn't want to put Laurelin through this.
Once Thorin was done with his bath, he dressed quickly and braided his hair himself, before taking the tray of food and taking it down to Laurelin's chamber the corridors of the royal aisle were generally bustling with activity at this hour of the day, and it wasn't easy for him to walk over to Laurelin's chamber without being noticed.
Laurelin always welcomed him with a beaming smile, and they sat down together to wolf down the tasty food, chattering and laughing happily while eating. Since Laurelin's days were a bit dull, because she was hurt and she couldn't do much, Thorin was usually the one who talked most during their dinners together. He told Laurelin about everything that had happened during the day, and she gave him her opinion or her advice on the situations he described her. Sometimes they discussed some problem for a while, trying to work out a solution together.
Then, when the meal was finished, they put the dishes and the leftovers back on the tray together, still talking animatedly. Of course Thorin would not bring it back to his own chambers immediately, because walking too often from one room to the other would have looked suspicious, so he just let it rest on the table for the night he would bring it back next day. His servant knew it, and she had adjusted to their routine easily enough.
They spend their evenings playing cards or dice, or reading a book together like they had done for so many years in the Blue Mountains. Their new intimacy, though, made everything
even better.
When the time came to go to sleep, Thorin usually climbed into the bed first, because he was the one sleeping against the wall. Once he was abed, Laurelin disrobed and slipped into her nightclothes, behind the dressing screen in one corner of her bedroom. Thorin did his best to keep his eyes aways from her – he didn't mean to disrespect her, or to intrude into her private space – yet sometimes he could help but look at her, as if his eyes were drawn to her by some magic. He couldn't see much, just her dark silhouette outlined behind the fabric of the screen, and it was enough to fill him with a mix of pride, desire and tenderness. His hands craved to touch her bare skin, her warm flesh. His mind couldn't help but try and imagine how soft she would be under his fingers, how maddeningly good it would be to kiss every inch of her body. He tried to refrain from having such thoughts, because he saw it as directful towards her, to think about such things without her knowing or consenting, but sometimes it was hard to stop thinking like that. His feelings for her, his desire for her were just too strong to be refrained, after holding them back for years.
Then Laurelin joined Thorin in the bed, and their hands insticntively found each other as they cuddled together under the warmth of the blankets.
Some days Thorin's duties had him busy till late into the night – it didn't happen very often, but it did happen from time to time. On these days Laurelin always waited for him, to see him back safe and sound. Of course the war was over, and she knew he was in no real danger, but the fear of losing him had inhabited her for several years, after Thorin had left her for the quest of Erebor. It had sunken its claws into her, and now it was reluctant to let go. Whenever Thorin was not near Laurelin, she couldn't help but worry. Sleeping without knowing where he was was impossible, particularly now that she had gotten used to his comforting presence in her bed every night. Only when she was truly exhausted did she fall asleep while waiting for Thorin. Whenever this happened, Thorin just slipped silently into the bed at her side, as softly as possible, to not wake her. Laurelin, even asleep, was drawn to him. Her body eagerly cuddled up against Thorin's, seeking his warmth, his comfort, his reassuring presence. He loved to kiss her on whaterver part of her body that was available : her lips, her cheeks, her hair, her neck, her shoulders...
But no matter which was the situation – whether they fell asleep together, or he joined her later – one thing never changed.
Thorin always ended the day with the same words :
« Good night, my sweet Laurelin. »