Four months had gone by since Thorin had declared his love to Laurelin. Four months of secret love and stolen kisses, four months of creeping in the shadows to remain unnoticed.
One day, Thorin found himself knocking at Laurelin's door, shortly before mid-morning. He had left her very early this morning, so early dawn had not even started to colour the sky at the horizon of course he hadn't woken her, because he knew how much she needed her rest, but it had left him a bit frustrated to leave her alone without even getting a chance to kiss her good-bye. As soon as his duties had been over, he had taken the familiar way to Laurelin's chambers. He knocked very softly, casting quick glances around him to be sure no one saw him standing there with such an eagerness on his face. One look at Thorin's face would have been enough even for the thickest Dwarf to guess what was happening. He didn't get an answer, so he knocked a second time. Still no answer. Maybe she had gone out ? Maybe she was still asleep ? He opened the door very slowly, so it wouldn't wake her if she was resting. He just wanted to have a quick peek into her bedroom.
But he had barely opened the door when he saw that Laurelin was sitting in her bath tub, and she was busy washing herself. She was turning her back on him, so she didn't see him and she just kept rubbing her skin with the sponge. Thorin froze immediately. He had expected anything but this. In fact, he had never seen her without her clothes, or in such an intimate situation. For a long moment he just stood there, unable to decide what to do. If he retreated and closed the door again, would she hear it ? Would she understand he had seen her in her bath ? How embarrassing would that be, for the
both of them ?
Mahal give me courage... He prayed silently, hoping he would be stealthy enough to remain unnoticed.
But then, suddenly, another thought woke up in his head. A very troubling thought. Suddenly he felt very hot as his eyes lingered on Laurelin's bare back, on her shoulders, on her waist. The water was dripping down her white skin, and sometimes when she moved he caught a quick glimpse of her heavy breasts. Lust and desire suddenly made his blood boil, yet on the other side he felt guilty for having such thoughts because he was watching her without her consent. Such behaviour was anything but honourable, but his eyes refused to obey when he wanted to look away. He was drawn to her, and a wave of desire rose in him, so powerful that it left him trembling and shivering. Never before had he felt such a need to touch her, to be close to her, yet he also remembered that he was looking at Laurelin without her even knowing about his presence. He took a deep breath to calm down, then he closed the door again, as silently as a ghost.
For a long moment it was impossible for him to move. He just stood there, next to her door, his eyes closed and leaning against the wall because his legs suddenly felt as weak as jelly. He did his best to regain some composure, but wasn't very successful at it. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to look Laurelin in the eyes again, when she would be standing in front of him again.
When he had regained some control over his body, he decided to find Dwalin and spar with him in the training yard. He was sure that using his sword would distract him from the troubling thoughs that were invading his mind right now – yet he was wrong. Even as he was sparring with his old friend, he couldn't help but remember how white her skin had been, how soft her curves had looked. And it was impossible for him to focus on anything else. Dwalin's kept hitting him with his blade even though it was blunt and padded, it hurt and it would leave bruises on Thorin's body, he knew it, but even this wasn't enough to make him concentrate on the fight.
« Forget it... » Dwalin declared after a while, dropping his sword, when he noticed how unconcentrated his opponent was. « If you don't pay attention to the fight, I'll end up unintentionally killing you ! » He said, shaking his bald head, but then a smile stretched his lips, making his rough face shine with mirth and amusement. « You look like a silly girl, when you're daydreaming like that... » He said, chuckling loudly.
He gave Thorin a friendly pat on the shoulder, then they went separate ways.
Thorin was torn between the desire to go back to Laurelin as soon as possible, and the shame that overwhelmed him every time he remembered that he had spied on her while she had been unaware of his presence. He struggled with these radically opposed options for a while, but in the second one that won the battle – the shame. He took great care to stay away from the royal aisle or from all the other places were Laurelin might be, like the library or the market. He was sure that if she saw him, she would guess the truth of what had happened. He was sure he would lose her if she knew how despicably he had acted. Fortunately, he had enough things to do to stay away from her without rousing any suspicions in Laurelin's mind the day before, he had shown her the list of all the people who had asked for a private word with him, so she would not expect him and she would not be worried by his absence.
And so the day went by, with Thorin listening to the complaints of other Dwarves and trying to work out solutions to solve these problems. It was wearisome work Dwarves were a stubborn race, and trying to reason them was just as easy as trying to move a mountain with bare hands. After a few hours, Azog and Smaug started looking like a jolly and friendly pair of troublemakers, compared to the stubborness of his own folk. Once a Dwarf's pride was wounded by some slight – even if it was no more than a mere trifle – it was very hard to make him see reason again, and a worthless quarrel between neighbours could take monstruous proportions in the blink of an eyes.
By the end of the day, Thorin was so exhausted and weary that he had completely forgotten about the shame he had been feeling earlier that day. He wanted nothing but to get lost in Laurelin's sweet arms. He washed quickly, then he gathered the tray of food and brought it over to her bedroom. She welcomed him with a smile, and Thorin sighed inwardly as he saw her. For a moment he thought about nothing but to enjoy her company and her lively chatter, while they ate dinner together. They talked and they laughed and they both spent a wonderful evening.
Later, when Laurelin retreated behind the screen to undress before the night, everything suddenly came back to Thorin. Memories of Laurelin in her bath overwhelmed his mind, and his desire for her woke again, stronger than ever. Right now he saw nothing but her silhouette, dark against the flickering light of a candle, but he could remember well enough the pale colour of her bare skin, as he had seen it in the morning, dripping with water in the light of the early morning sun. He felt very hot again. He couldn't help but try to imagine what was happening behind the screen sometimes, he caught a glimpse of her round, appetizing shapes when she moved, and he tried to imagine what she would look like if she stood in front of him bare naked, in all her glory and splendour. He wanted nothing but to feel the warmth of her skin under his hands, to feel the softness of her flesh as he ran his hands all over her body. He blew the candle on the table next to the bed, so that Laurelin would not see how flushed his face was, when she would come out from behind the screen.
When Laurelin was finished, she folded her clothes and her underwear, and put it neatly on a chair for the next day. She saw Thorin's eyes linger on them for a long while, and suddenly she felt very self-conscious usually she felt at ease in his presence, even when she wore nothing but a nightshirt, but tonight she could feel something was different. There was something else, something she couldn't really name. As if the air was filled with something that made her heart flutter. It wasn't unpleasant, no. It was just very unsettling, and suddenly she was aware that she wore nothing under the thin fabric of her nightshirt. She shuddered, and felt her pulse speed up.
When she slipped into the bed right next to him, though, he acted as he always did, with infinite tenderness. His hands were slightly bolder than usual, resting on her hips instead of her waist, but this was the only noticeable change. In the end, they lay in the bed side by side, their hands entwined as always, with Laurelin's body cuddled against Thorin's bigger, stronger body. Yet she had a hard time falling asleep, because the tension she had been feeling in the air tonight – and the glint in Thorin's blue eyes - had woken something in her. It had woken a hunger, a craving that she had never experienced before. Thorin's skin was very warm against her, and she could feel the hard muscles under the layer of skin. It made her feel strangely aroused, and the sensation was so strong it was almost painful. She toyed with the idea of waking him – the urge to touch him and kiss him was so powerful – yet she knew how hard his day had been, she knew hos much he needed to rest. The reasonable side of her won the battle, so she just clenched her teeth and tried to quench the fire that was burning in her veins.
And when she fell asleep at last – in the darkest hours of the night – she dreamt of Thorin's hands on her body, of course.