Ch. 5: Soaked
"I won't accept it," Cynder growled. "He can't be de-he-ead!" she sobbed, slumping to the floor, suddenly breaking down in dismay. "Hey, uh, calm down. I'm, uh, sure he's fine," Pop Fizz did his best to reassure her.
'Perhaps this is for the best,' Chop Chop thought to himself. 'If Spyro has become deceased, he will be unable to pursue the mystery, which is good for all of us, however, of course, it would be a terrible thing for the Skylanders to lose their leader at a time like this. If the Skylanders are running around like a headless chicken, it will be the perfect opportunity for evil to corrupt the eruption of the Cloudbreak Volcano. Either option causes great disarray," he calculated. 'A temporary leader must be appointed,' the Arkeyan decided.
"Right," Sprocket cracked her knuckles. "Where are those rookies? We need all the help we can get," she declared. "Don't worry, they should be here in a few moments," Cali reassured the Tech Skylander.
"Hey, look, it's the Dread-Yacht!" Trigger Happy squealed in excitement, all of a sudden. "Right on time," Cali smirked at the Golding. Sprocket skeptically snorted, blowing a strand of hair our of her eyes, even as the infamous cursed ship was towed into fiew by a swarm of . . . .
"Are those giant birds?" Stealth Elf frowned. "Look, Jet-Vac, you've found your ancestors," Camo chuckled. The Sky Baron snorted derisively at this. "I'll have you know those things are a completely separate genus of bird, there is no relation,"
The Dread-Yacht itself, though, was in terrible condition. It was listing to one side, and the crane deck had been smashed into oblivion. The lander craft that was mounted near the rear of the ship had vanished, never to be found again. The wall that blocked the room that had once been Cali's had buckled and collapsed, and the roof had partially caved in. A lot of the starboard-side impact tires had been torn away, and the quarters Persephone had once occupied had been smashed, ragged, torn, remnants of satin pillows and cushions hanging, snagged, on the jagged chunks of metal and wall and the balcony outside gone, never to be seen again. "That crash must have been spectacular . . . . . . why did I miss it? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Trigger Happy screamed in dismay.
"Trust me, there really wasn't that much to miss, heh heh - ah, sir," someone interrupted the gremlin. "Hey! Any crash you can't walk away from is a good crash if you ask me," Trigger Happy indignantly, then paused. "Who am I talking to?"
"Oh, sorry. I forgot I was invisible," A glowing blue, grinning ghost appeared out of nowhere, quickly followed by an empty hood and set of bracelets, wielding a scythe. The ghost and set of clothing reunited, so that the ghost was wearing the clothing. "Ah, greetings, sir. I'm Grim Creeper, a pleasure to meet such a famous Skylander as yourself,"
Trigger Happy's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up to a comical degree, far higher than they should have been able to. "I'm famous? Why didn't anyone tell me? I want my own autograph!"
Grim Creeper frowned, sweatdropping. "Relax, kiddo, he's, ah, always like that. Ya get used tah it," Prism Break advised, thunking him on the back. The reaper stumbled forward at the impact. "Prism Break, right? I am a huge fan! You are an inspiration to people who have been buried everywhere!" Grim Creeper exclaimed in excitement.
"Well, ah'm just glad that ah ain't hated and at least some people laek meh," Prism Break shrugged, casting a stray look at Jet-Vac as he followed the other Cloudbreak Skylanders as they ran towards the docks that the Dread-Yacht was being towed to.
"Eh, don't feel too special. He loves everyone," another, feminine voice interrupted from above them as the Dread-Yacht docked, and a pink sphinx with a golden mask and gemstone-embedded claws leapt down towards them.
"Name's Scratch. Air element rookie. I've heard I'm supposed to be meeting a veteran named, uh," the sphinx quickly snatched a little piece of paper from within her claws. "Whirlwind," she read, before chucking the piece of paper into the empty space of the dock, where it quickly blew away in the wind.
"You're working with Whirlwind, lassie?" Jet-Vac asked in surprise. "You seem like you'd be a much better choice for me," he winked. "Nope, I'm certain it's Whirlwind," Scratch skeptically replied.
"Well," Jet-Vac quickly looked around to make sure Whirlwind wasn't in the vicinity. "I would say I'm the only competent Air Skylander here, so . . ." he suggestively trailed off, while Scratch adopted a sly look. "Oh, you're the other Air veteran, eh? You must be Pop Thorn's mentor,"
"Ah, who's Pop Thorn?" the Sky Baron asked, curious,
"Oh, Pop Thorn? There's someone I want you to meet!" the sphinx cat-called back towards the wrecked Dread-Yacht.
Grim Creeper smiled. "He's in for it now,"
"Who? Ooh, is it my mentor? I'm so excited!" a squeal echoed from the boat and a cyan/yellow blur streaked through mid-air, slamming into Jet-Vac and knocking him to the ground. "You're my mentor? Oh wow, this is so cool! I have a mentor! I have a mentor!"
"Down, Pop Thorn, heel," Scratch commanded, chuckling. "I'm not a dog!" Pop Thorn protested as Jet-Vac finally got a good look at the rookie. "A Pufferthorn?" he gaaped in shock, throwing Pop Thorn off his chest, picking himself up and turning to Cali in anger. "You want me to play teacher to one of the weakest species in Skylands? They're used as living combs, for the love of the Ancients!"
"Yes, and Pop Thorn here is the reason that barbaric practise was stopped," Cali pointed out. "They're still pathetic!" Jet-Vac hotly protested. "Well now it's your job to make this one not pathetic. You might be impressed," Cali snorted. "Now apologise for insulting his species," she commanded.
The Sky Baron groaned. "I'm sorry for insulting you, Pop Thorn," The Pufferthorn promptly jumped towards him, flooring him again. "That's okay, Jet Stream! I forgive you," Pop Thorn excitedly licked Jet-Vac's face. "Jet Stream?" the Skylander spluttered. "Yep! That's my new nickname for you!" the Pufferthorn excitedly chirped.
This was too much for some of the assembled Skylanders, and Roller Brawl, Camo, Scratch, Cali and Pop Fizz burst out laughing, while several others held back guffaws.
X
"You are fricking joking," Terrafin was slack-jawed. Snagglescale had guided him to the river, where his boat was waiting for them. 'Boat', however, was an extremely loose term, as it was essentially a massive horizontal tire with a wooden platform resting on top of it. "Ain't she a beaut?" Snagglescale asked, excited. "No," Terrafin deadpanned.
"Well lemme tell ya something to help ease your concerns, so ta speak," Snagglescale started. "This wee little baby has carried me up, down, left, right and every other direction that the water in this humble, cosy little town has ever flowed, regardless of what the laws of physics have and ever will say about it. And it ain't never sank once. Nope, nada, my baby has never sprung a leak and that's the way it's gonna stay just so long as we make sure that we don't not never ever drift her into any of the eleventy kajillion water bombs drifting on the lake, but I'm sure that with a hefty slice of the choc-o-late cake known as luck bestowed upon us by the lady of luck herself we won't get even a tiny bit exploded, and you can count on that,"
Terrafin snorted. "Lemme get this straight, your brilliant plan to get us to your home is to drive a giant tyre down a river flooded with mines?"
"You got the entire thing in one sentence, like some kinda hole in one in that rich people sport they probably call golf, mm-mium-miu-miu-mede-madaaba," Terrafin had clamped his hand over Snagglescale's mouth, before noticing something in the water. In an instant, he slid down to the riverbank and plucked a piece of metal from the surface of the water. "These are the mines you're worried about?" he asked, smirking. And with good reason, too. The 'mine' had spent so long in the waters of the river that it's metal casing had rusted into oblivion, and the gunpowder within had been soaked to the point of being rendered useless. "This isn't a mine, it's debris! I'm starting to like the tyre idea again, let's cast off!" Terrafin declared, scrambling back up the riverbank and onto the wooden platform mounted atop Snagglescale's giant tyre.
The Dirt Shark lay on his belly and attempted to get comfortable. "Welp, you're the boatman. Wake me up when we get there," he shrugged, closing his eyes. "Now that there, that there attitude is what I is talking about! So let's get a-moving!" Gurglefin declared, shoving off.
"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," the gillman gargled as Terrafin clasped his hands to his ears. "I should not have hitched a boat ride with the infamous Chatty Cabbie," the Dirt Shark lamented. "Dodge the deadly floating mines and try not to explode! Baaargh!" the fish shrieked. Terrafin growled, enough was enough. "Look, a; quit singing before I punch out your vocal cords! B; those mines are so rusty they might as well have been here since the rise of Arkus! Look!" Terrafin stamped on the side of the boat in anger, sending it teetering into one of the rusty, old mines - which promptly exploded, punching a hole in the rubber of the boat. "What the hell?" he gasped. "Hey, lookie here, I-ah told ya that running into them mines was a bad idea, like majorly, seriously bad karma, and now look at that, there's a gosh darn hole in the side of my boat. I am going to bill you for repairs, and you can take that invoice to the grave but I'll still charge you -"
"Put a sock in it!" Terrafin exploded at his cabbie. "Come on, we need to reach the town before we take on too much water and sink!" he continued, summoning a group of microsharks and telepathically instructing them to push the boat forwards faster. "And send the bill to Kaos, he owes me money anyway!"
The dirt shark frantically stamped on the side of the boat, and it tipped a little, but swung far enough to the side to dodge another. His eyes narrowed at the sight of a stone construction a few knots down the river. "What's that thing?"
"Now that right there, my friend, is what we riverfolk call a dam. Funny story, I -"
"I don't give a damn about your funny story, and I also don't give a damn about your dam. How do we get through it?"
"I'm not one hundred and twenty-five percent convinced that going that way is a good idea, I do not like it. I mean, it would be faster to go that way, but if you give me a little while I can find another route that's slower but -"
Yet again, Terrafin interrupted the Gillman. "I don't care. We need to get to the village so I can get in contact with the other Skylanders. Take the faster way,"
"Well, I suppose that if you insist we can go thataway," the Gillman shrugged, steering the boat into the dam. The gates of the sluice-lock slid closed behind them and their vessel. "You sure this thing is safe?" Terrafin asked as the water level began to lower. "Look, as long as there ain't no problem with the internisical workings of the machinery of this here dam, we is going to be one hundred percntaroonay a-okay, and ain't that a fact,"
Terrafin scrutinised the water level. It had stopped lowering. "Snagglescale, the dam's jammed," he retorted. "Well that ain't not nothing to worry about. See that there ladder on the side?" Terrafin followed Snagglescale's webbed finger and looked at a rusty, yet mostly stable-looking ladder on the side. "Just climb up that and pull the lever up the top, that's the emergency override. It'll open the doors three minutes after being pulled, you're gonna have that three minutes to get back down to the boat,"
"Aren't we still pretty high? Won't all the water, like, burst out in a wave and capsize us?" Terrafin skeptically asked. "Have ya seen these doors? Solid stone. Those things'll open slow as a sea snail, the water'll have plenty of time to drain before the gates have opened enough to let us through. There ain't not never gonna be anything to worry about hereabouts,"
"Good enough for me," Terrafin shrugged, carefully jumping in the water and swimming over to the ladder, where he grabbed hold of it and started to climb.
After a moment or so, he put his foot on a rather rusted platform, and it snapped under his foot, causing him to almost slip. The dirt shark staggered, losing his grip and almost falling. "Hell no!" he declared, snatching at the stone, tearing a grip into it and clutching on as he regained his balance. "Frigging hell," he muttered, continuing the climb.
Eventually, he reached the top and climbed onto the small stone platform at the top of the dam. "Nice view," he shrugged, pulling the lever. "Great, now get back down here so we can get a move on!" Snagglescale shouted. The Skylander considered the ladder beneath him and shook his head. "I'm getting down my way," and dived into the stone, burrowing his way through it and emerging at water level. Snagglescale offered him a hand, and he was pulled back into the boat. "Is this thing still sinking?" he questioned as the faint groan of gears reached his ears.
"I would believe so, but I am two hundred and fifty-nine percent sure that as long as we survive what's is beyond this'ere gate right in front of us, we are almost definitively going to make it to my village that is my home before we sink into the river, and even if we do I am eighty-six and a half percentish confident that we will both make it to the shore. This river ain't deep anyway, barely a fathom, you have nothing to worry about,"
"Look, I can't fathom how deep a fathom is, so you'd better be right about that or when we both get to the Underworld I an gonna knock your undead teeth out," Terrafin growled.
"The doors is about to open," Snagglescale reported. "How long will we have to wait for them to fully open?"
In an instant, they swung open, so quickly that they had finished opening before the water could even spill out. But spill out it did, in a sweeping tidal wave that carried the boat at high speed down the lake. "This is a new feature," Snagglescale just had time to comment before the boat lost all stability and was thrown forwards with the crashing wave.
"Do you know how to surf?" Snagglescale off-handedly questioned. "No! We are about to die and that is what you ask me?" Terrafin demanded, staggering and losing his balance as water spray swept over him and the boat alarmingly tilted forwards. "Wells, of course it is. Because then you would be knowing how to balance this thing so that we ain't not going to capsize and get majorly, seriously wet. So if y'all is going to just follow my lead, I is going to make sure we get out of this mess dry!" Snagglescale commanded in a very roundabout way, running to the back of the tire and jumping up and down on it.
"Great. So this is how it ends, huh? Drowned aboard a giant tyre with a lunatic Gillman for company. The shocking thing is that the only part I never expected was the giant tyre," Terrafin groaned as the tyre ricocheted off a rock of some kind, being launched into the air for a second. He was thrown towards the back of the tire by the impact, and would have fallen into the rushing waters - if not for a scaly, webbed hand snatching his wrist.
"Ouch!" Terrafin snapped as his face banged against the edge of the boat, but nodded gratefully to Snagglescale for his rescue, even as the ferocity of the water began to drop. The dirt shark recovered his footing and nodded gratefully to the Gillman. "At least that's over,"
"I wouldn't bet even a single rotten tooth that I's ever knocked out using this 'ere hand," Snagglescale waggled his fingers. "What?" Terrafin questioned, a blank look on his face.
"If my own reckoning, which is the reckoning I has done by myself and with no help from anybody else, whether I know them personally or not, is correct by at least less than a hundred and two-ty nine percent and yet alsimultaneously at least a little bit more than sixty nine and a half's half percent, we is almost definitously about to take what could probably be the downwards elevator over, under and ultimatisticly into, the lower levels of that which sailerfolk call the sea that can't not never ever be sailed on what we are sitting on now, which is being a giant tyre and as a therefore direct result we mighty well oughts ta find a differooning route before -"
"Shut up!" Terrafin shrieked, wheeling around to face the Gillman before pausing. "Whaddya think that sound is?"
"That's is being what I has been trying to warn -"
"Shut up and let me listen!" Terrafin snapped and Snagglescale shut up. "It sounds sort of like, rumbling, like an earthquake, but with water, and rushy, and, uh lemme check something," He sniffed the air. "Yep. I still have no sense of smell," the Dirt Shark sighed.
"Uh, misser Skylander sir, I think that ya should really turn around,"
"Hold it! Hold it. I've almost figured it out!" Terrafin shouted.
Suddenly, the boat dipped. "Too late," Snagglescale moaned. "What? What's going on? Where'd the river go?"
Losing their grip on the fragile wood, the two amphibians shrieked as the boat toppled sideways, and fell off the top of the waterfall.
X
"Ugh! How useless can these things be?" Kaos demanded, bashing his fist on the arms of his throne, glaring at the Greebles. "I can't believe we can't afford any more Trolls. These Greebles are cheap, but useless! Stop reading that book, for crying out loud!" the evil Portal Master demanded, storming over to an idle Greeble and snatching the book out of his hand. "Get back to work on my statue!" he commanded.
They were in a large, ornate throne room. A big screen adorned one wall, with Kaos' throne in front of it. In the centre of the room was a massive stone statue of Kaos. "I still think the bottom part is unnecessary," Glumshanks nervously mumbled from the corner. Sure enough, the statue of Kaos was supported by a statue of Glumshanks, stooped over and supporting the giant stone Kaos on it's back. "It's degrading," he grumbled.
"What's this?" Kaos frowned, looking at the book. "One Hundred Legends of Skylands," He flipped the book open. "Hmm. Legend No. 13, placed there for the number's numerical notoriety. Ooh, evil alliteration. I'm enthralled," he cackled. "The Doom Raiders, the most notorious gang of thieves Skylands has ever seen. Seven in number. Number 7; The Gulper. A massive glob of soda-loving slug. Used by the others as a beatstick, his gelatinous skin can absorb almost any attack. Sounds like a good guy to use as a shield. Number 6: The Chompy Mage. Employed for his ability to see through the eyes of any Chompy in Skylands, his spy network was invaluable to the Doom Raiders. I want to be able to do that. Number 5: Chef Pepper Jack? A chef? Who cares? Like a chef could ever be evil. Number 4: Dreamcatcher. Pssh, a girl. Like a girl could ever be evil. Number 3 . . . . well, this is a nostalgia trip. My old idol, Dr. Krankcase. Renowned for his invention of magical evil wooden dolls, Dr. Krankcase was chosen for the team due to his ability to create infinite armies and his genius as a mad scientist,"
Glumshanks frowned. Something was beeping on the control panel. "Uh, sir?"
"Quiet, Glumshanks!" Kaos barked. "Number 2 . . . ." he trailed off. "Wolfgang? Who the hell is Wolfgang? Some punk-rocker werewolf? He's a villainous mercenary who is an unmatched fighter . . . . and musician? What in Skylands? Who has time for music in evil? Ugh, these Doom Raiders sound like they're half awesome villains and half complete wusses. Let's check out number 1," Kaos flipped the page. "Golden Queen? An Egyptian pharaoh-ess with an insatiable love of gold and world domination? Sounds like my kind of girl, huh Glumshanks?"
"You are perverted beyond belief, sir," Glumshanks sighed. "And don't you forget it," Kaos snorted. "The Doom Raiders, one of the most formidable and malevolent teams in the history of Skylands. Where are they now? Nobody knows, but it is rumoured that they are locked up inside the legendary Cloudcracker Prison. For more information, see Legend #59: The Terrors of Traptanium," Kaos read aloud. "I'm going to Legend #59," he cackled in glee.
"Uh, sir?" Glumshanks interrupted. "What?" Kaos snapped, before going slack-jawed at the sit of what was on the screen. "So nice to see that my own son is more interested in old fairytales than his own mother," the woman on the screen snorted in derision.
The lilting, soothing drawl came from Kaos' mother, who was on screen. She was tall, thin and had spindly limbs, her body was cloaked in a black cape, embroidered with amethyst crystals and her hair was done up in nets with the same crystals sewn into them, making them look like devil horns. Kaos groaned in annoyance, carelessly throwing the book over his shoulder.
"Please, children's books hardly matter. Sooner or later, brother, all fall to Darkness. Lights out," chuckled a teenage-size dragon who was sitting on a navy-and-silver cushion that matched his bodily colouration, added, flicking his tail like a cat. His scales were a deep navy blue colour, and his horns, spines, wings and tail-tip were a glistening silver. He had a rotund, vaguely humanoid head, similar to Spyro, but with slightly more of a muzzle. Aside from the altered colours, he physically looked extremely similar to the purple dragon.
Kaos' mother rubbed the dragon between his wing joints, in just the place he loved. "I knew creating you would be a good idea. Darkus, you're like the son I never had,"
Kaos, who had been muttering angrily to himself at the intrusion, looked up in shock. "You had a son! I'm your son!"
His mother looked at him disdainfully. "I meant a son I was actually at all proud of. You failed to take over Skylands two hundred times! You're lucky I haven't disowned you,"
"What? That's not even possible! I've only even tried to take over Skylands a hundred and forty-seven times! And I know, I've been keeping a log," At this, the small Runt angrily brandished a small brown book that had appeared from nowhere. Darkus snorted, amused, and vanished in a puff of smoke. "Er, where'd he go?" Kaos frowned. The next thing he knew, the book had been snatched from his hands by Darkus, who had magically appeared behind him,
"This is the 'All-inclusive Girl's Diary and Guide to Everything in your Teenage Years'. Features a sewing kit, Whirlwind's Guide to Gossip, Flashwing's Guide to Finding the Perfect Date Outfit and a wall-length poster of Flameslinger, the hottest elf in Skylands - without a shirt. Brother, I doubt you could be more pathetic if you tried," Darkus read the cover, snorting at Kaos.
"I'm not your brother!" Kaos shouted in Darkus's face, before storming way. "Sure. Ta-ta, brother dear," Darkus winked, before vanishing as quickly as he had arrived. Glumshanks turned off the connection and Kaos' mother's face vanished from the screen.
"Blasted mother - and blasted dragon! They think they can just come in here and just take control of everything! Unbelieveable!" Kaos burst out in anger, seething about the state of affairs with his mother and that dragon. The infuriating thing was, Darkus wasn't even a real dragon! Proper dragons, despite their reptilian appearance, were warm-blooded, but that monstrosity was cold-blooded. Like a snake! And he was basically a pure evil version of Spyro, Kaos' sworn enemy! Darkus had literally been created using DNA from the same species of dragon that Spyro belonged to, warped and perverted into the creation of that monstrosity! It was infuriating! "He just infuriates me so much! Infuriates!"
"Master, if you're done seething, your mother's called back," Glumshanks gestured to the screen. A vein pulsed in Kaos' neck. "Decline the call and block her number!"
A/N
A/N
Okay, I made a pretty big mistake with this chapter and the last - I mixed up my Gillmen. XD Snagglescale was the Gillman who takes you down the river in Mudwater Hollow - which is obviously where Terrafin is - but I got him mixed up with Gurglefin from way back in Spyro's Adventure. I have made the necessary changes with this update, but if I missed anything let me know.
"Okay, there is something VERY important I have to say to you all . . . . . . . Er, sorry, but I forgot it," XD
Is there anything important to say?
"Not that I can think of. Pe-"
{clamps hand over her beak}
Peace! Yes!