Ch. 9: Off Your Reptillian Rocker
"Okay, we're almost here," Tessa reported to Flynn, who didn't respond. "Flynn?" she added. "You didn't fall off Whiskers, right?" the kitsune continued, still failing to turn around and look at him.
"Flynn!" Tessa snapped, turning around in irritation. "Okay, what's wrong with you?" she frowned. The pilot was drooling, with a bewildered grin on his face. "Flynn? Fly-ynn?" she asked in irritation. "Fine, have it your way," she sighed and slapped him lightly in the face.
"Oh, uh, what?" the pilot blinked. "Gee, one congratulatory kiss and he goes all woozy," Tessa smirked. "Why did you do that, anyway?" Flynn sighed, still smiling. "You saved my life. I had to do something in return," Tessa winked. "What, don't tell me that was your first kiss?" she smirked.
Flynn blinked. "No, of course not, just," he paused. "Normally girls that kiss me know me for more than two hours," he pointed out.
Whiskers screeched a warning. This time, Tessa looked around, and carefully avoided the edge of an island. "There it is," she smiled, gesturing at a large mountain above them. A camp of canvas tents was set up around a cluster of mineshafts. "There's the Amazoness Troll camp!" Tessa exclaimed.
X
"How long until we're back in Motleytowm?" Sharpfin demanded. "Oh, wait. My entire crew upped and vanished on me so I have no one to ask how long the trip will be!" he sarcastically fumed.
The red-eyed blue Dirt Shark was standing behind the tiller of his ship, clad in his usual admiral's jacket with the golden chainsaw armour on his dorsal fin. Notably, the entire deck of his ship was empty.
"And the last crewmember I have left is kipping in the hull," the admiral sighed. "And that's only because . . . . oh, screw it, who cares?" he continued. Sharpfin noticed that a dial on his dashboard was blinking red and he moaned in irritation. "Ugh, don't tell me I'm out of fuel," he groaned, casting around the sky for a place he could dock and refuel. "I guess that mine will have to do," he sighed, twisting the tiller and pulling towards a campsite on the side of a mountain.
X
"Cogshine! How goes the Portal?" Linagarnix demanded.
The evil Portal Mistress was standing on a balcony overlooking a large room. The entire floor of the room was taken up by a large metal six-pointed star with a Portal of Power in the middle, with holes drilled into it that had pipes snaking around and into them. A mature sphinx/dragon hybrid with silver fur and scales was crouched on one of the six points, painstakingly inscribing potent-looking runes into the surface of the steel star. "It's slow going," Cogshine reported. "I need more raw power if this is ever going to work," he reported.
"I can have my miners dig up far more Petrified Darkness to liquify -" Linagarnix started, but the hybrid cut her off. "That won't work. Petrified Darkness is more like a flavouring than a drink. I need raw energy. Strong magical power. The kind of thing a master wizard would have. The Mystic Seekers of the Radiant Isles would be a good example,"
Linagarnix tutted. "I'll forgive you for interrupting me, ONCE. And there's no way someone could get to the Radiant Isles, capture those Mabu again and get back here before the Cloudbreak Volcano erupts and purifies Skylands of evil - hey," she smiled. "Would the Cloudbreak Volcano's eruption provide enough power?"
"Easily, but that's -" Cogshine paused in realisation. "Raw, unformed magical energy. Normally it would wash away all the evil magic, but if we could focus it through the Darkness like a lens," he suggested, "It would be perfect for our plans," Linagarnix smiled. "Make sure everything's ready by the time of the eruption, I want to make sure that we can switch this thing on as soon as that volcano erupts,"
"Yes ma'am," her minion smirked.
X
"Er, Tessa, there's a ship headed towards the camp," Flynn reported, spotting a gold-and-cyan yacht with four engines mounted on the hull angling towards the mines. "Hmm. If I had to guess, I'd say that that's a cargo ship. Whatever they're mining down there, that ship is gonna take it away somewhere. Probably to be sold on the black market," Flynn surmised. "Doesn't look like a cargo ship," the kitsune frowned. "They never do," Flynn shook his head. "Regular cargo ships go through all kinds of checks every time they make port. Little cruisers like that, on the other hand, no one expects to be big enough to carry much goods, so so one ever even knocks on the hull. So the obvious thing is to smuggle illegal stuff in small shipments that never get checked," Flynn explained. "How long have you been doing this again?" Tessa asked in admiration. "Good few years. I remember the first time I flew around Skylands. I was ten and had made an entire airplane out of paper -"
"You'll have to tell me about that later. We need to take that cruiser out of the sky," Tessa ascertained. "Ka-blam!"
"Or we could hijack it," Flynn smirked.
X
"We really need to have a talk about your battle tactics!" Spy Rise shrieked as Snap Shot landed. "Tactics? You mean there's more to fighting than charging in and throwing whatever comes to hand at your enemy?" Snap Shot deadpanned, snatching hold of one of Sky Rise's legs.
"Of course there is! There's feints, distractions, a pincer movement - why are you picking me up?" Spy Rise listed as the ex-Skylander lifted him into the air. The monster watched, confused, as Snap Shot lifted a protesting Spy Rise into the air with no noticeable effort. "Do your tactics cover this?" Snap Shot asked scathingly. "Please put me down," the Spyder requested. Snap Shot took no notice as he carefully aimed. "Please put me down, please put me down, PUT ME DOWN YOU INCONSIDERATE - AAARGH!" the unfortunate SWAPlander shrieked as the burly huntsman bodily threw him at their mutual adversary.
Peacock grunted in confusion as the panicked Spyder landed on his head and frantically grasped the first thing that came to hand - the dragon's protruding, disproportionate ears. "That's it, mate! See if you can blind the beastie!" Snap Shot commanded. "Are you off yoir reptilian rocker?" his temporary comrade demanded. "Probably," the crocogator shrugged nonchalantly, drawing a steel, barbed arrow and fitting it to his thick longbow, before firing it at the monstrous dragon's wings.
Spy Rise frantically wrapped his legs around Peacock's stubby neck and ineffectually slapped at his thick scalp. "Go for the eyes, mate! The eyes!" Snap Shot commanded. "Which ones?" he protested, gesturing at the additional eyes Peacock boasted on it's neck, shoulders and wings. "I see ya problem," Snap Shot reported, ducking backwards as Peacock swung his boulder-like tail at the crocogator, and giving the tail a cuff for good measure as it paused. "Are you gonna help?" Spy Rise demanded. "Sorry, mate! You're on your own!" he winked, nocking an arrow in seconds and shooting at the membrane of Peacock's wings. It glanced off one of the ribs and embedded itself into the ground. The renegade cursed and ran around Peacock, staying in his adversary's blind spot.
The dragon roared in frustration and ran towards a nearby tree, headfirst. "Oh no. On no oh no oh no!" Spy Rise shrieked, frantically to get off Peacock's face.
"That's it," a voice coaxed Peacock from within his head. "Crush the annoying Skylander against the giant tree,"
The SWAPlander swung to the side and barely missed being crushed as Peacock's reinforced brow slammed into the hard, unforgiving wood. The monster staggered and moaned as it tried to recover, Spy Rise scuttling down it's neck and onto it's back. He saw his chance as Peacock slumped to the ground and frantically made an escape to the solid relief of the undergrowth. "Thanks a lot!" he snapped at Snap Shot. "You're welcome!" the crocagator replied enthusiastically. It was right about then that Spy Rise realised that the huntsman had strapped a massive arrow with what looked like explosives on the end to his bow and was aiming it at Peacock's still form. Which Spy Rise was standing extremely close to. "Ah, you might wanna duck, mate!" Snap Shot suggested, before releasing the arrow.
The Spyder reacted on instinct, shooting a grappling line into the canopy above and rappelling out of the line of fire. Snap Shot's arrow soared over Peacock's back and embedded itself in the tree above his head. The monster looked at it, confused. "Move," a voice hissed within the Greeble Dragon's cranium, and he obediently staggered to his feet.
Then the explosive payload detonated, concussing Peacock, knocking him back to the ground and blowing a large hole in the tree that loomed above him.
Seconds later, there was a sickening crack as the surviving part of the tree decided it was incapable of holding the massive trunk's weight, and it collapsed, bringing the huge tree down.
The massive trunk followed the path of least resistance, which was towards the hole Snap Shot had blown in it's roots, and toppled forwards. Peacock only had time to moan once before it was crushed underneath the trunk.
Finally, the tree's canopy hit the ground, the uppermost branches barely a metre from Snap Shot's feet. "That's how we do it at Cloudcracker! Crock and Roll!" the crocogator fist-pumped, slinging his bow over his back and making his way around the canopy to see how Peacock had fared. The dragon was surprisingly lacking any serious injuries, and throughly de-evilised, which was obvious due to the purple of his body having been replaced by a yellowing green. "I'll leave him to the clean-up team," Snap Shot shrugged.
The branches rustled behind him and Spy Rise emerged, looking throughly concussed. "Urgh, what happened?" the Spyder asked, confused. Snap Shot turned around and saw his temporary teammate, and sweatdropped. "Did you hear anything I just said and did?" he winced. The SWAPlander held a hand to his head in confusion. "Nope, don't think so. Why?" he asked, curious.
Snap Shot awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "I, uh, have a kinda embarrassing victory dance I only do when I'm alone," he lied, feigning perfect awkwardness. "I didn't realise you were right there, and, uh," he trailed off. Spy Rise blinked. "Well, no worries then, mate!" he winked. Snap Shot laughed nervously. "I didn't hear anything. Now, this was, ah, fun," he winced, as it had been anything but for him, "but I've really gotta get going. Got a team to catch up with. I hope I'll see you under more, uh, peaceful circumstances sometime. Goodbye, Snap Shot!" The Spyder said his farewells rather quickly, and Snap Shot slightly raised an eyebrow. "This guy is more insane than Freeze Blade! I gotta get out of here!" Spy Rise whispered to himself as he turned away and climbed into the trees.
Snap Shot breathed a sigh of relief. "He didn't hear anything, phew. 'E was just leaving because he thinks I'm crazy. And he clearly ain't got no idea how good crocogator hearing is,"
Up in the treetops, Spy Rise was acting similarly. "He thinks I heard nothing," he sighed in relief. "Now, why did he try to lie to me? And what in Skylands is Cloudcracker supposed to mean?"
X
"Halt, pirate! Surrender now and we might go easy on you. If we're in a good mood!" Flynn commanded as Whiskers landed on the deck of Sharpfin's ship. "Are we in a good mood?" the pilot whispered to Tessa, who pulled a dagger from her belt. "You'd better believe it," she savagely grinned.
"Pirate?" Sharpfin gasped. "Now you listen here, Mr. Mabu!" he demanded. "I ain't no pirate. Maybe I ain't the most respectable and law-abiding shark that's ever sailed the skies, but I'm well and truly a far cry from piracy, and if not for the fact that I need to fly the ship I'd come over there and tell you and your ugly bird exactly why that is the case," the admiral ranted. "Ugly!" Tessa gasped, and Whisker squawked in angry agreement.
"We ain't buying it," Flynn frowned. "If you're not a pirate, why are you making port at an illegal mining operation run by Trolls?"
"Illegal mining operation?" The Dirt Shark's eyes widened. "I'm out of fuel and I need to fill up, and that's the only place in sight, I swear!"
"Alright then," Flynn frowned. "Show me your fuel gauge," he demanded, walking over to Sharpfin's control dashboard and staring him in the eye. "Right there," he groaned, gesturing to a needle that was flickering in the red zone. Flynn's eyes lost their frown lines and he stepped backwards in a slump. "Oh. Okay then. Ah, sorry about that," he awkwardly winced, stepping back over to Whiskers and his vulpine rider, who raised an irritated eyebrow at him. "Little cruiser to carry the shipments, huh?" she frowned. "Hey, in my defence, the odds of a random civilian pulling into a criminal mining syndicate's headquarters to stop for gas are pretty much nonexistent," Flynn retorted. "I guess you're right," Tessa nodded. "Kinda bummed I don't get to wail on pirates, though,"
Sharpfin cleared his throat. "Ahem," Having got Flynn and Tessa's attention, he bellowed, "YOU TWO MORONS ARE STILL ON THE DECK OF MY SHIP!"
A/N
A/N
Alright, everyone, that's another chalter hot off the presses.
LiteFox, I am so sorry, I meant the Man Cave. XD But you know that already . . . oh well! Guess we have a little crossover action to look forward to in two or three chapters. XD Glad you support Flessa. You're right, Flynn and Cali are just a bad pair. And Tessa's kiss was more a "Oh, you saved my life and I have to reward you somehow!" kiss than a "I'm hopelessly in love with you," kiss. Did I not make that clear enough?
I'll start digging your grave. XD
Sparkbutt, I have no intention of reviving song chapters AT PRESENT. XD
Utopiaray123, uh, your name? Number 39: Utopia and Chaos Number 39: Utopia Ray?
Samjax, he doesn't. In case you hadn't noticed, Snap Shot's been doing a lot of lying recently.
Best OC Maker, I can't explain that as of yet.
Guest: Whatever.
Anyway. Interesting little reveal by Snap Shot. And you gotta love Flynn accusing Sharpfin of piracy - especially since he's actually kind of right. We all know Sharpfin's not exactly citizen of the year. XD But Flynn . . . . . . doesn't.
I actually think I did a good job with 'Team Spy Shot Vs. The Greeble Dragon'. The secret to successful fight scenes? Lots of dialogue.
Yes, Peacock was originally my idea of a 'Greeble Dragon', partially inspired by Bubba Greebs and my lingering love of dragons. Then I had the idea that Spy Rise could team up with a hunter of some kind to defeat Peacock - who was named that because he, like peacocks everywhere, have lots of eyes. Of course, one Ranger's Apprentice marathon later, I was stuck on the idea of bows and arrows. So Snap Shot came into play. Plus I felt like I'd been neglecting the ongoing mystery element of this fiction. Ergo why Snappy quit the Skylanders and has a regular bow and arrow, no Traptanium in sight. Next chapter, for real this time, Power to the Pilots!
Also, I'm thinking of setting up a kind of archive of things that can be treated as 'universal Skylands fanon' - for example, that Tessa's species are called kitsunes. Little useful titbits and stuff like that, all in one easily accessed place. Appealing, huh?
Anyway, enough reveal for today! Peace!