Chapter 15: Making Molehills Out of Mountains
"Cogshine, how's the Portal going?" Linagarnix asked once more. "I'm smashing the Petrified Darkness to reduce it to dust. We'll need that dust sprinkled all over the Portal to provide that kick. But we still need the pure power," the hybrid reported. "I'll take care of that. Have fun," the Dark Portal Master snorted in irritation, and left. "I wonder where Darkus is?" She muttered to herself.
X
"Milady, I have seen the Great Molehill in the distance," Ignitor reported. "Good - and it's the Molekin Mountain, not the Great Molehill," Loni patiently told the knight. "My apologies, milady. Is there anything else that I can do to serve you, milady?"
"Umm," Loni awkwardly paused as she tried to think of something to say. "Din't worry about it, kid. This guy's just always like that, ya know what I'm saying?" Slam Bak grinned, wrapping an arm around his comrade. Ignitor awkwardly looked at him. "Prithee, please remove thine hand from mine armour," he politely requested and wished that the Arkeyan Robot had a below decks.
Warnado was staring into the sky, front paws on the edge of MG's cockpit, lost in a daze. "Oh, Flashwing, even though we are apart I know our hearts beat as one," he sighed.
X
Flashwing frowned. "Why do I suddenly get this weird disgusting crawling sensation inside my scales?"
X
"Doo de do, do do do," Kaos hummed. "Note to self, find a new minion to hang around me all the time and be pointless. Glumshanks is getting boring," he sighed with a glare at his unappreciated butler, who groaned in disappointment. "Master, is there something we should be doing?" he suggested. "Plotting to take over Skylands or something? The Cloudbreak Volcano is going to erupt in a mere eleven days, sir. This is a massive opportunity,"
Kaos snorted. "Definitely not, Glumshanks. Her Royal Motherness is definitely cooking up some fiendishly underhanded scheme involving that volcano,"
Gkumshanks paused. "And you don't want to get in her way with your own plan?"
"Of course I want to, but I can't! Every eye in Skylands is watching that volcano, it's the perfect distraction. Those Skylosers will all be so busy stopping whatever nonsense she cooks up that they probably won't even notice what I plan to do! And that will be their demise!"
"But, uh, sir," Glumshanks trailed off. "What do you plan to do?"
Well, I, uh," Kaos paused. What did he plan to do? "I'll be back in one moment," he declared, rushing off to his castle's study, where he snatched up his copy of 'One Thousand and One Evil Ways To Rule Skylands', and flipped it open to a random page. "An army of the most dangerous and despicable villains Skylands has ever seen? What an awesomely good idea! Thank you, book, you've come through for me as always," Kaos hugged the book, gently stroking it's spine. "But where to get all of these villains?" he wondered, before inspiration struck. "Of course! That Cloudcracker Prison place! There's got to be a thousand tinpot terrors trapped in it's crystal walls! But where is it?" Kaos fumed. It was the one thing he didn't know about the fabled Cloudcracker Prison - it's location. He stomped back to the main room, where Glumshanks anxiously waited. "Glumshanks! I want you to run a global scan for Traptanium! We're going to find Cloudcracker Prison!" he shouted.
"Sir, we, ah, don't have anything that can scan the world for Traptanium," Glumshanks informed him, and Kaos cursed, snatching up 'One Hundred Legends of Skylands' once more and opening to the index. "Let's see, there has to be something in here that can find Traptanium," he frowned, before shrieking, "Ah-hah! Legend #28! A magical crystal hidden in the Skyhighlands that can point the way to anything valuable! Traptanium is the most rare and valuable mineral in the world, so a place built entirely out of the stuff has to be worth a not-so-small fortune! It's perfect!"
"Sir, the Skyhighlands are really high up in the stratosphere. The air's too thin for most airships to be able to stay in the sky. We'd need some kind of rocket to get up there," Glumshanks pointed out. "Your naysaying is getting annoying, Glumshanks," Kaos snorted in irritation. "We'll just build a rocket. How hard can it be? We'll just get the Greebles to do it,"
"Sir, you spent most of our coffers on the giant statue," Glumshanks indicated the statue of himself hunched over, supporting Kaos, "and your subscription to Minions Monthly. We can't afford to buy the parts we'd need to build an entire rocket. Sir," Goumshanks paused for effect. "We're broke,"
Kaos blinked. "Crap,"
X
Spy Rise panted as he walked along the precarious rocky ledge that led to the Man Cave's entrance. "What idiot built this place here anyway?" he demanded, carefully balancing to avoid falling off the thin path of earth and rock that led into the bottom of a tornado Free Ranger had created around the Man Cave. It was extremely effective, the only way into it that wouldn't get you torn to shreds was through the bottom, where there was a hole in the funnel, as the tornado extended upwards into the Skyhighlands and most ships couldn't get that high without depressurising and falling out of the sky. But that one way to get in was rather tricky, as the bottom of the funnel was quite narrow, and this unfortunate situation contributed immensely to Spy Rise's current short-temperedness. But, as the SWAPlander finally got into the eye of the storm, where the Man Cave was situated, he reflected that the view was always worth it.
The island chain was large and rather funnel-shaped, and had everything to cater to the sixteen SWAPlanders' individual needs. Due to the fact that their missions often ended in bringing back a capricious amount of wealth, either taken from thieves or given by thankful townsfolk as rewards, the Man Cave was large and funnell-shaped, with several islands chained together, many of which had been installed by individual SWAPlanders to suit their own personal styles and wantings, connected by a maze of bridges, elevators and the occasional slide. Spy Rise shook his head, looking at the latest addition suspended a couple of kilometres above him. Wash Buckler had recently routed a pirate smuggling ring.
X
The pirate ship, painted blood-red with black sails, soared into the terrorised town's docks and the people clustered in fear, worried that the infamous SWAP Force had failed in their objective and the threat of the pirates would continue to terrorise their town.
That was until a bright blue Mermasquid swung down from the bow on a thick, long rope and landed with little visible effort on the pier with a massive grin on his face and cutlass in hand. He bowed to the assembled townsfolk, who were watching in amazement. "The threat of the pirates will haunt you no more!" the Water Skylander declared exuberantly.
The mayor bustled to the front of the crowd, heaving a sack of gold behind him. "I cannot thank you enough, Skylander! That is amazing! I hope this is appropriate compensation for your trouble," he smiled, shoving the bag into Wash Buckler's hands, who regarded the bag with a faintly disgusted look. "Is something wrong?" the mayor anxiously asked. "Not really," he sighed, looking back up at the pirate galleon. "I'm just a little sick of being given money for helping people. Tell me, ah," Wash Buckler twirled the tentacles of his moustache. "What's going to happen to that ship?"
"Well, it'll probably be chopped up and turned into firewood," the mayor shrugged.
Wash Buckler grinned, and gave the money back to the mayor. "I'd like to buy that ship,"
The mayor blinked, but no matter how he turned this over in his head, there was no reason to refuse. He didn't lose a dime, there'd be no need to pull people away from their jobs and waste weeks to get rid of the ship, and the resident Skylanders would be happy with them into the bargain. "I suppose that's okay, but, ah, what could you possibly use it for?"
X
Wash Buckler pranced around the deck of his new ship, shouting out orders to imaginary crewmates, and declaring challenges to foes that only existed within his mind. "You there! Batten down the hatches! Raise the sails! We have to reach port afore nightfall or the kraken shall drag us to the depths of the sky!" he declared, pointing at empty air with his cutlass and seemingly expecting it to obey his commands as Spy Rise climbed up onto the deck. "If you're quite done with your delusions, we need to talk,"
"Didn't you have a team?" Wash Buckler questioned. "That's what I want to talk to you about," Spy Rise sighed. "I want permission to start going on missions solo,"
"What? Hey, now, Spydey, we've talked about this," Wash Buckler started, but the Spyder cut him off. "This time, you're going to let me talk and not just prattle on about how the crew of any good ship all needs to work together," he commanded.
His leader sighed and sat down. "Fine. Guess my boat's gonna fall to the kraken," the Mermasquid groaned, staring over the side in depression at the empty air beneath the galleon.
Not for the first time, Spy Rise questioned the mental health of his commander.
X
"Okay," Kaos spread a giant map of Skylands across the floor. "We are here, near the Cloudbreak Islands," He indicated a point a little to the left of a ruby-shaped segment in the middle of the map. "As everyone knows, the Cloudbreak Volcano is in the very geographical centre of Skylands. And since it's also in the middle of the Cloudbreak Islands, the Cloudbreak Islands are by extension fhe middle of Skylands. Now, Skylands is split into nine sections. North, Northwest, West, Southwest, South, Southeast, East, Northeast and Central. In the past - Glumshanks? Glumshanks, you are paying attention, right?"
Glumshanks, who had been staring at the floor in boredom, rapidly snapped to attention. "Yes, sir, I am,"
"Good. Keep it that way," Kaos nodded. "In the past, we have pillaged the South, Southeast and Southwest sections of Skylands. My mother and her pets have pillaged the North, Northeast and Northwest sections. And that bloody Hektore menace pillaged the West sector," he groaned at the thought of Hektore. "I hate that demon. Almost as much as I hate Eon,"
"Uh, sir, what about the Underworld? The Undead are all filthy rich," Glumshanks pointed out. "I don't put stock in that. Where does all that money come from, anyway? But regardless, even if that were an option, how would we get there? We'd need a power source of ten jillion thunderbolts to break through the barrier. And I don't think that the Cloud Kingdom will be very sympathetic to my cause," Kaos snorted. "So, we steal from the East?" Glumshanks frowned. "Idiot! No one steals from the East! Because of that!" Kaos pointed to a dot on the map, marked 'Palace of Light'. "That is the Palace of Light, home to the Core of Light and the Skylanders' main home base! It would be like trying to steal from Dragon's Peak while the entire dragon army garrison is there!" the Dark Portal Master shrieked in anger, fuming.
"Uh, sir, the dragon army garrison isn't there right now, them and the Acting Dragon Commander Flavius have gone hunting some kind of monster. The Dragon's Peak is being commanded by the old, weak Dragon King Ramses and a tiny military detachment. All their accumulated wealth would be easy pickings, sir,"
Kaos raised his eyebrows and looked towards a spot in the South section of the map. "Really? Fascinating," He snatched up the microphone and began barking orders to his few remaining troops. "All troops, prepare to move out! Prepare the airships! We're going dragon gold hunting!" he declared. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, "Oh, and make sure you pack the evilisers,"
X
"Ach, 'ere we are, lads an' lassies! The Frostfest Mount'ins!" Avril declared and the eight Skylanders crowded onto the front deck of the Frost Elves' airship to get a good view,
"Whaddya mean, eh? There's nothing here but a steaming pile of freezing fog!" Jet-Vac hotly declared. Whirlwind shivered, but smiled. "I know, isn't it lovely?" she grinned.
"Ah, dun't worry! They're 'ere somewhere, we just gotta figure out where! B'sides, the pilot knows what 'e's doing. Ye just can't take on diehard experience and expect ta come out on top, ya know what I mean?"
"She's right," Spyro told the Air male. "This is a teaching moment, young grasshopper," Pop Fizz sagely told Dune Bug, who blinked in surprise and confusion.. "Listen closely and do not allow distractions to cloud thine fo- ooh, what's that shiny thing?" he cut himself off and pointed to a glint in the distance. "It's the light'ouse! That's the first sign that we're gonna reach the Frost Ancient!" Avril shrieked in excitement. Whirlwind whooped, and Scratch followed her lead, trying and failing to mirror her mentor's enthusiasm. "Eh, it ain't that special," Jet-Vac shrugged. "Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, eh,"
"You said it, Jet Stream!" Pop Thorn grinned.
X
The Molekin Mountain, simply put, looked like a giant molehill. There were dozens of seemingly tiny holes in it some of which had minecart tracks leading out of them. Slam Bam tapped Ignitor's shoulder. "Hey, look man, there's, like, tiny moles pushing tiny carts with tiny rocks in them! What are they doing with all those tiny rocks?" he asked in confusion.
"My deepest apologies, kind sir, but I am quite honestly clueless," Ignitor shrugged. "They're just moving them. They're in the way of the valuable gold and jewels," Warnado explained. "I got it, man," Slam Bam toothily grinned. "Why did I bring the mad surfer?" Loni sighed to herself as the huge Arkeyan Robot landed at Molekin Mountain. "Thanks for the lift, MG!" the Portal Master shouted to the machine. "You are most welcome. Do you wish me to wait here, or shall I return to the Palace of Light?"
Loni paused, thinking back to the last time she had visited the Oracle, and recalled how he had been capable of teleporting them back to the Dread-Yacht. "Wait here for six hours, and if we haven't returned by then, go to the Cloudbreak Volcano," she instructed, and MG nodded. "I don't see why not,"
"Thanks. Come on, you three!" she called to the three Skylanders, who rapidly followed after her. "Cowabunga!" Slam Bam shouted, forming a surfboard from ice and sliding down the gangplank. "As milady wishes!" Ignitor hotly declared, following the yeti. "For Flashwing!" Warnado finally shouted, and Loni groaned at that last one. "Is it not clear that she does not return your feelings towards her, squire? You ought to find another who shall love you back with a passion befitting your own," Ignitor advised the Air element, who shook his head in irritation. "No way I'm giving up my beloved!"
"Hey, like, lay off him, man. He's got a crush, you can't change that, ya know what I'm saying?" Slam Bam placed a hand on Ignitor's shoulder, before yanking it away in shock. "Agh, hot!"
Loni walked up to a nearby Molekin, and politely asked, "Excuse me, do you know where Diggs is?"
Diggs was the Molekin who had taken them to the Oracle in the past. Loni hoped that he could take them to the god again.
The Molekin took one look at the dragoness and squealed, "Argh! Please don't eat me!"
Loni blinked. "I'm adolescent, I, uh, can't eat you. I'm not big enough. Besides, why would I want to eat you? You look yucky . . . dear god, what am I saying? I'm not eating someone!"
"You aren't? Oh, phew. Diggs will be in the head offices downstairs. He got a promotion. Moving up in the world, y'now? Tell him I said hi!" the Molekin was suddenly all relieved smiles, and waved them on their way. The three Skylanders followed her, Ignitor casting the dragoness increasingly wary looks. Loni gulped at the thought of what she had just said.
X
"And there ya have it, folks!" Avril exuberantly declared as the airship docked at a large wooden platform near the top of the skyscraping tallest mountain in the Frostfest Mountain range. "Welcome to Ancient's Peak. Right now we are as high as we can safely fly in an airship. A few hundred more metres or summat and we'd be in the Skyhighlands!"
"I can feel that," Pop Fizz shivered. "I, uh, a-a-a-agree," Star Strike stammered.
"Anyways," Avril shrugged it off. "Up there is the Frozen Cap, that's where the Ancient Frost Hound lives. If ya lucky, ya might catch a glimpse of him flying around!"
There was a somewhat awkward pause as all eight Skylanders craned their necks trying to catch a glimpse of the legendary Ancient.
"Ah guess he ain't around," Avril shrugged, before beckoning. "Come on, let's get out of the cold and back ta the keep!"
A/N
A/N
Hey, LiteFox! I really hope you liked what I did with the Man Cave. I got the idea from the way that in both Giants and SuperChargers, the Skylanders' base got attacked, by ghost pirates and the Sky Eater respectively. So I wanted a creative way to make sure that would never happen to the Man Cave. And what could be better than suspending the entire base inside a giant tornado?
And I even found a fourth mountain to add to the mix! Dragon's Peak! Which is technically a mountain! Though I did ditch the idea that the Man Cave was a cave underneath a mountain, so . . . . oh well! Just three, then.
Phoenix, okay then. Nope, not Spitfire. Keep trying.
New Guest, I could care less about Mr. E.
Also, if you were wondering about why Kaos is going after Cloudcracker Prison now, he can't pull off his evil plot with evilising the Cloudbreak Volcano because his mother is already doing something similar. So he's skipping ahead to what he would have done next year. :P
Anyways. Next time . . . well, whatever the hell I feel like doing. Don't have much planned. I'll just see what comes up. :) Peace!