Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Chapter 11
Dream
Minato was enjoying his dinner with his teacher and his student. Naruto was at the party for Shikamaru and Ino, so tonight was the perfect time for the three of them to go out. They had finished eating and were now sharing a bottle of sake and just talking. Kakashi had let the disinterested mask slip a little and was smiling and joking with the two older men. Jiraiya was regaling them with stories of his travels, mostly involving his 'research.' Minato chuckled. Honestly, the man was incorrigible. They were relaxed, at ease--as much as ninja of their caliber ever were, anyway.
Which is why it came as a shock when he felt Naruto's youki shiver across his skin, followed by a wave of anger and fear.
He froze, sake halfway to his mouth, his gaze drawn to the window beside their booth. His son was in that direction. And something was very wrong.
"Minato?" Jiraiya's voice distracted him and he glanced at the Toad Sage, seated across the table. He was looking at his student with concern. He hadn't felt what Minato had.
The Yondaime's gaze flicked to Kakashi. His eyelid was half-closed, as usual, but the gray eye beneath it was sharp, alert.
"Follow me," the Hokage commanded and slid open the window. In an instant, all three man vanished from the booth in a blur.
It didn't take them long to reach their destination--the restaurant where the birthday celebration for the two members of Team Asuma was being held. Minato landed on the roof of the building next to the eatery, Jiraiya and Kakashi just behind him. He signaled with one hand; his ANBU guard would set up a perimeter around their position. He scanned the area. Nothing seemed out of place; people walked in the streets laughing and talking, entering and exiting the restaurants, bars, and what few shops were still open. Simply going about their evening business. Except…
His gaze was drawn to the bright colors that made up Naruto--gold hair and bright orange shirt with royal blue sleeves. His son was standing in the middle of the street, oblivious to the people passing by around him. From their position, Minato couldn't really see his face, but he could see how tightly his fists were clenched and how he was trembling a little. Judging by the angle of his head, he was staring at the roof of the building opposite. The Hokage followed his son's gaze and saw Ino, half-hidden behind a sign. What the hell was she--
Damn it!
He'd been concerned about Ino using a clan technique on his son before the younger blonde had started training with Team Asuma, but Naruto assured him that such jutsus didn't work on him. Or at least, jutsus that were performed by someone at Ino's level didn't work. He wasn't sure about someone with more experience; Inoichi, for example. But, at any rate, both Asuma and Naruto had reported that the Shintenshin failed, just as Naruto predicted. The Yondaime had been relieved and hadn't thought much more about it. He suspected Ino wouldn't be too happy--she was very proud of her clan techniques and her own abilities to use them--but it never hurt a ninja to be knocked down a few pegs. Too much pride would only get you killed. Hopefully she'd learn from the experience and push herself to become better, both with her clan jutsus and other techniques.
That she would react this badly had never crossed his mind. If she did what he thought she did…
Fear and anger flared through him; his own this time. Afraid because of what she might have seen in his son's mind and angry that she'd ambushed him in such a way.
With a gesture to the two ninja behind him, he leapt to the opposite side of the street, then to the roof where Ino sat. The three appeared behind her, arrayed in a semi-circle. She was crouched down behind the low wall that rimmed the roof, one hand gripping the metal sign support so tightly her knuckles were white, the other pressed against her mouth. She was shaking like a leaf and tears streamed down her face. Her gaze was fixed on Naruto and she gave no indication she was aware of their presence.
Minato frowned. This was not good. Whatever she'd seen had scared her badly.
His gaze flicked to Naruto and his eyes widened a little. His son was staring at the kunoichi with a frightening intensity. His face was blank, but his eyes were fairly swimming with anger. No, wait…Minato squinted, trying to see better. There was something wrong with his eyes...damn it! If only he was closer...
And suddenly, he could see his son's face perfectly, as though he was standing right next to him instead of up on a roof. He blinked and his vision returned to normal. But his mind barely registered the odd change in perception before it was pushed aside for more pressing concerns. Like the fact that Naruto's eyes weren't figuratively swimming, but literally. They were moving in that uncanny way they had during Naruto's test, just before he lost control.
This was really really not good.
"Kakashi," he barked. "Take her to my office."
The silver-haired ninja moved instantly to comply, sliding in front of Ino and firmly prying her hand off the sign support. Her eyes shifted dazedly to his face as the Copy Ninja pulled her to her feet and away from the edge of the roof.
Minato stopped paying them attention--Kakashi could handle the girl--and focused entirely on his son. The young ninja hadn't budged or moved his gaze from the spot Ino had been, although Minato was sure he was aware of their presence.
Jiraiya leaned towards his first student. "You can calm him down. He'll listen to you," the older man said in his ear.
Minato nodded. He wanted Kakashi and Ino gone first. If the reason for his son's anger was removed, it should be easier to pacify him. And if it didn't work…well, he didn't want Naruto doing something he'd regret later.
But someone else reached Naruto first.
Hyuuga Hinata walked up beside his son and called his name. Minato had been so intent on the younger blonde, he hadn't noticed her coming out of the restaurant. Naruto hadn't either, because he started violently and faced the heiress, blinking at her. Minato sucked in his breath. If she saw his eyes…very little escaped the notice of a Hyuuga.
But nothing seemed to happen. She asked if he was alright. Minato couldn't hear the words from this distance, but he could read her lips, even with the stutter. Naruto grinned and nodded, one hand scratching at the back of his head. He mumbled some excuse about getting fresh air and assured her he'd be back in a minute. He gestured towards the restaurant and the dark-haired girl nodded and headed inside again.
Naruto turned back around and slumped a little, one hand rubbing at his temple. So he missed how Hinata looked back at him from the doorway, concerned gaze resting on his figure for a long moment before it flicked up to the rooftop where Minato and Jiraiya now stood alone.
But Minato didn't miss it. He smiled slightly at the heiress when her white eyes rested on him. She flushed a little and disappeared through the door. His smile widened. That girl was a lot quicker than Hiashi gave her credit for.
But his smile fell away as he jumped down from the roof to stand in front of his son, replaced with a look of concern.
The younger blonde didn't look at him. Instead, he bowed low. "Gomen nasai, Hokage-sama."
Minato pulled him out of the bow with a hand on his shoulder. "You are not the one that needs to apologize, I think."
"B-But I almost--"
"But you didn't." Naruto bit his lip, still unsure. "Now, what happened?"
His son sighed. "Ino-san said she wasn't feeling well, so she was going to go back home. She left and a little while later, I thought I...sensed her." He paused, making sure his father understood what he meant. Minato nodded and he continued. "But I wasn't sure, it was hard to tell with...everyone else around." He gestured around him and Minato nodded again. He could see how it would be hard to pick out one heartbeat among so many. "Anyway, I went to the window to look for her, 'cause I thought she'd gone home, right? But then Shika-san started talking to me, so I got kind of distracted, and then I felt her…in my head." Naruto paused for breath and rubbed his temple again. "She tried some clan jutsu on me. Not mind possession, I think, but something else. I got so angry..."
Minato's eyes narrowed. "Did it work?"
Naruto nodded slowly. "Aa. As soon as I realized what was happening, I pushed her out, but…" his voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't know what she saw."
The Hokage squeezed his son's shoulder reassuringly. "I'll find out, and we'll deal with it, hmmm?"
Naruto nodded hesitantly.
"Ok. Are you alright?" Naruto nodded again. "Good. Go enjoy the rest of the party. Come to my office when you get back to the Tower, but there's no need to rush."
"Hai, Hokage-sama." Naruto bowed again and retreated back to the restaurant.
Minato sighed and rubbed his eyes. He turned back to gaze at the roof. His sensei was still standing there, watching him. He waved to the big man and they both blurred out of sight.
Minato stared at the girl standing in front of him, keeping his face perfectly blank despite the anger roiling around under the surface. They were alone in the room; he had sent Kakashi to pay their bill at the restaurant and Jiraiya to get Inoichi, Ino's father. His surrogate family members really had no reason to be there; this was a matter between him and one of his ninja. It was Hokage business, and they understood that. He'd tell them the gist of what happened, anyway.
Sharp blue eyes examined Ino closely. The kunoichi had regained some semblance of composure. She was no longer crying, although her eyes were still red and puffy, and she was only slightly trembling. Of course, the chill from the open window might have something to do with that too, since her purple halter top, short skirt, and mesh elbow and knee guards left quite a bit of bare skin. Her gaze was on the floor, platinum blonde bangs obscuring the right half of her face and ponytail falling forward over her shoulder. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her and her shoulders hunched. She hadn't looked him in the face since he arrived at his office through the window. She looked scared and guilty. Good.
"Yamanaka-san," he said finally. His voice was quiet, but deathly cold. "Explain yourself."
Ino cringed at the Yondaime's tone. He had to be furious with her, but it didn't show. He stood in front of his desk, arms crossed, face blank, eyes hard and cold as ice. He was unyielding, implacable. There was no trace of the village leader she had grown up with, grown used to.
Her earliest memories of the Hokage were of a kind, warm man with a nice smile and an infectious laugh. Everyone wanted 'Yondy-sama' to push their swing or play hide-and-seek or red rover (never tag) with them. A man who encouraged them to do their best on the first day of the Academy and smiled proudly when they graduated. A man who listened with a grave face, but accepting and sympathetic eyes, when they explained the way a mission had gone wrong. A man who would chide them for their wrongdoings--whether it was getting into a fight on the playground, skipping class, or making a stupid mistake that put their teammates in danger--but who always, always, forgave them with a gentle smile.
But there would be no such smile this time. The Hokage in front of her may have been carved of marble for all the emotion he was showing. He was completely closed off, which she had never seen before. It was as if...
As if he was facing an enemy.
The thought made her feel ill. She had betrayed the trust of a fellow ninja, and in doing so, betrayed the Yondaime's trust. And because the Hokage represented the village, she'd betrayed Konoha's trust too. The village she had sworn to protect. She was no better than a traitor, and the Hokage was treating her as such. She'd never felt so ashamed in her entire life.
She bowed low. "G-Gomen n-nasai, Hokage-sama. I-I…" she trailed off, unable to continue, her guilt clogging her throat, making it hard to breathe.
"Did you or did you not attack a fellow Leaf nin without provocation?" His voice was still quiet, still cold.
She shrunk in a little on herself. That was exactly what she'd done. "H-Hai." Such an act was considered treasonous and, depending on the situation and severity of the attack, could be punishable by death.
"And what reason could you possibly have for doing such a thing?"
"I-I…" she stammered. "I have no excuse, Hokage-sama."
"I know that," he said sharply. "I didn't ask for an excuse. I asked for a reason."
Her face crumpled and she felt like she might burst into tears again. The reasons she had given herself flashed in her head, but they were all lies and she knew it. If she had truly wanted to improve herself and help her team, she would have spoken to Naruto directly. She would have swallowed her foolish pride and asked for his permission before she tried anything. If she gave any of those excuses now, they would taste like ash in her mouth and only make the Hokage angrier. She had no choice but to tell the truth; to him and to herself. So she took a few deep, shuddering breaths, forced back the prickly heat behind her eyes, and answered.
"I was angry at him."
"Why?"
"He...he wounded my pride."
"Because he beat you."
She nodded.
"You will learn, Yamanaka-san, hopefully before you make a fatal mistake, that there are any number of ninja in this world that can beat you. You cannot throw a tantrum like a spoiled, selfish brat every time that happens."
She wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. "H-Hai, Hokage-sama."
He said nothing for a long moment. "What did you see?"
She shuddered and looked down, but began to tell him.
Dark and dank and hot, so hot.
His face remained impassive, even when she described all the blood.
Wading in a sea of red.
"I was going to leave right then. I was," Ino said, looking up, her expression pleading with the Hokage to believe her. He gave no indication of his thoughts, one way or the other, and she bit her lip. "But then..." she trailed off.
"Then?" he prompted.
A redburningclawingscreaming feeling.
"Naruto-san came," she whispered. She looked at a point somewhere on his desk, but didn't really see it. She could think of no words to adequately describe how everything changed in an instant, when she'd realized she wasn't alone anymore.
Choking, smothering, terrifying.
"He was so angry." She shuddered and rubbed her arms. That was the understatement of the year.
An animalistic growl that came from everywhere and nowhere. The strange red light flickering madly. The blood bubbling and churning. A desperate scream. Her own.
"He had claws."
And finally, the Yondaime reacted. He blinked. "What?"
"He was behind me, and he wrapped his hands around my arms, and he had claws." She was trembling again and her breaths were coming a little faster and a little shallower than before as her body remembered the mind-numbing panic she'd felt. She wondered if that was how rabbits felt when they were caught by wolves.
Runrunrun!
The Hokage narrowed his eyes a little, and some emotion flashed in them but it was gone before she could identify it. Did he not believe her? But all he said was, "What else?"
"...Get out..." A low, menacing growl and hot breath on her ear.
"He told me to leave," she whispered.
A burning pain on her back, between her shoulder blades, which was odd...wasn't he still gripping her arms?
"And then he shoved me away."
The corridor rushing past as she was propelled forward into darkness.
"I went flying through the air, and I couldn't see what was in front of me, so I turned my head and put up my arms..." She mimicked the motion, a purely instinctual reaction.
A flash, a glimpse out of the corner of her eye. Writhing orange and searing red and twisting dark shadows.
"I saw...I saw him, surrounded by four orange...flames, I think, and..." She shuddered again.
"And what, Yamanaka-san?" the Hokage asked.
Scorching, piercing, feral, alien. She trembled even as she burned.
"He had red eyes."It sounded so mundane and she shook her head a little. Such limited words could never possibly express what she had seen.
"I couldn't..." Look anymore. Stand those eyes on me. "I shut my eyes and when I opened them again, I was back in my body," she finished quietly.
The Hokage said nothing, simply looked at her, expression inscrutable. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her heart. The fear had returned with the retelling, though it was a pale shadow of what it had been when she was in Naruto's mind.
The silence stretched on.
"What do you think of what you saw?"
The question startled her a little; she had expected the Yondaime to berate her and dole out punishment, not ask her opinion on...well...anything.
"Um...Naruto-san's mindscape is very...dark." She bit her lip. "A person's mindscape is influenced by their life experiences," she continued. "Most ninjas' minds are dark places, and it tends to get worse as they get older. But Naruto-san is only my age. For his to be like that means...means..." She looked down, feeling even worse about what she had done.
"Means he must have had some bad experiences, at a young age," the Hokage supplied.
Ino nodded. "And his avatar, his image of himself in his mind...it's influenced by the way he feels about himself. And what I saw...he thinks of himself as some sort of...of... monster." Because she was looking down, she didn't see the way the Hokage's eyes narrowed or his shoulders stiffened ever so slightly. "Maybe because of whatever happened in his past. And that's just...I didn't know he felt that way...I just...I was so stupid!"
Silence again.
"Well, it seems you are truly sorry for what you did."
The blonde kunoichi dared to look up and nodded vehemently.
"That is good." The Yondaime paused. "Of course, you will still be punished."
She nodded, much less forcefully this time. "Hai, Hokage-sama."
"The first thing you will do is apologize to Naruto-kun."
"Of course, Hokage-sama."
He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Well, there is no time like the present." He turned his gaze to the door, ignoring her startled expression. "Come in, Naruto-kun!" he called.
The door opened and shut. Quiet footsteps rang thunderously in her ears until they came to a halt off to her right. And she still couldn't turn and look at the person who'd entered the office.
"Yamanaka-san. I believe you have something to say?" The Hokage's voice hadn't lost the cold tone, but his eyes softened when he looked at the new arrival and he let a small, reassuring smile tug at his lips.
"H-Hai." She took a deep breath and turned, lowering her gaze to the floor. She took another breath and got down on her knees, hands pressed to the worn wood and head bowed. "G-Gomen nasai, Naruto-san," she said. "I know my actions were very wrong, but I hope you can forgive me."
There was silence for a moment. "I forgive you, Ino-san," the other blonde teen said quietly. Naruto's sandal-clad feet moved forward and he reached down to grasp her arms. The rational part of her brain knew he only meant to reassure her and help her to her feet, but the instinctual part remembered only claws and crimson eyes. The fear flared in her belly and she flinched at his touch. He snatched his hands away as though burned and stumbled back a few steps.
"I-I'm sorry--," she began a little desperately, inwardly berating her inability to control her stupid reaction. It's not like Naruto actually had claws, or red eyes. She looked up, almost needing to see the sky blue irises, but Naruto's eyes were downcast, hidden behind his bangs.
"It's ok, Ino-san," he interrupted her, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. "I understand. My mind is a pretty scary place, ne?" He gave a little half-smile that made her feel even more guilty.
"Naruto..." the Hokage said, his voice tender. The younger blonde turned at the sound of his name, his gaze flicking up briefly to the village leader before dropping back down. Ino felt like she had missed something. But the thought left her mind as the Hokage turned his eyes back to her.
His stare was just as frigid as before and his voice was cold and sharp again. "Get up."
She complied, slowly coming to her feet. Any softening of his demeanor was for Naruto alone, not her.
"There is more to your punishment than a simple apology, Yamanaka-san."
She nodded; she knew that wouldn't be it.
The Hokage's gaze shifted to the door again. "Inoichi-san!" he called.
She stiffened as the door opened and shut once again and her father came to stand to her left. She didn't, couldn't, look at him either.
The Hokage nodded to the Yamanaka clan head. "I trust Jiraiya told you why I called you here?"
Her father nodded. "Hai, Hokage-sama." His voice was clipped and bland. He must be just as furious and disappointed as the village leader, but, like the Hokage, he wasn't showing it. At least, not here. Ino had no doubt that once they got home, she'd find out exactly how angry he was.
The Hokage said nothing in reply, merely extended a hand to the other man. With no pause or hesitation, Inoichi placed something in his palm.
Her hitai ite.
The Yondaime brought it close to him, studying the polished metal, before he looked at her again. "Do you think you deserve to wear this, Yamanaka-san?" His eyes were piercing, icy shards that froze her where she stood.
"No, Hokage-sama," she said, quietly.
"Good. I don't either." He closed his fist around the headband and she fought the urge to throw up. "A ninja must always be on guard. But the one place where any ninja should be able to relax, if only a little, is their home. And why is that, Yamanaka-san?"
"Because it's safe," she replied in a small voice.
"Aa. And why is it safe?"
She thought a minute. "Because it's protected."
"By whom?"
"The other shinobi."
"That is correct, Yamanaka-san. When a ninja is home, he or she should be able to trust that their comrades are watching out for the village and their peers. You have broken that faith tonight. So I will be keeping this until such time as you prove trustworthy again." He paused. "Yamanaka Ino, you are suspended from active duty indefinitely."
The words were like death knells in her ears. It felt like her whole world was crumbling, and it was. Being a ninja was not just a job, but a way of life.
And the Hokage was not done. "That will give you plenty of time to complete the task I have for you. You are to help Naruto-kun settle into a permanent residence. He plans on looking for a place tomorrow, so I expect you to be here, in my office, ready to assist him, at ten. Do I make myself clear?" At her nod, he continued. "I leave it up to you to explain to your team why they will be a member short. Dismissed."
And with another nod to her father, he turned away, walking around his desk to gaze out the windows at Konoha.
Her trembling returned full force and she thought she might fall over. She could only stare at the Hokage's back, eyes tracing the kanji on his coat over and over.
Her father's hand on her shoulder startled her and she glanced at him, then quickly looked away. She still couldn't look him in the face. "Come on, Ino," he said, his voice hard, but his touch soft, and she bit her lip so she wouldn't cry. She knew he was upset with her, but he was still trying to comfort her. She didn't deserve it.
She nodded and gave a shaky bow to the Yondaime's back.
As she turned to go, her gaze finally met Naruto's and a sob rose in her throat. He wasn't looking at her with anger or fear or any other emotion she expected. Despite everything, his eyes held nothing but compassion.
"I'll see you in the morning, ne, Ino-san?" he said and he smiled. And, oh kami, it was just like the smile she remembered on the Hokage's face when she was little--the warm expression that said all was forgiven and everything would be ok.
She couldn't stop the tears this time. She could only nod as they streamed down her face. Gentle pressure from her father's hand on her back guided her away from her fellow blonde, towards the door. She didn't resist, but she couldn't get the image of that smile out of her head as she left.
Minato sighed as the door closed behind the two Yamanakas, and he glanced down at the hitai ite in his hand. He rubbed his eyes with his other hand and turned back around to find Naruto watching him. He gave a small smile. "She did--" he began, but was interrupted by the door opening again.
Jiraiya entered and stood in the center of the room next to Naruto, arms crossed over his chest. "Well?" he questioned.
Minato sighed again and dropped into his chair, leaning back into the soft cushions. He held up the hitai ite and then placed it on his desk.
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at him. "You suspended her?"
"Aa," Minato replied. "Indefinitely."
The eyebrow went higher, but the Toad Sage didn't say anything.
The Hokage shifted his gaze to Naruto. "She didn't see anything too damaging," he said, finishing what he started to say before Jiraiya interrupted.
His son's shoulders slumped in relief and he smiled. "That's good."
Minato nodded. He was relieved, too, but also concerned. His son's mind sounded like an unpleasant place, and he didn't like that at all. He'd wanted to cringe when Ino had described all the blood. And the way Naruto had looked...
"She said you had claws and red eyes," Naruto stiffened again, and his eyes went wide, "but she doesn't think you have those traits in reality. She thinks they are a reflection of how you feel about yourself."
Naruto blinked at him and relaxed again. He rubbed the back of his head. "Okay." He sounded confused.
Minato sighed inwardly. He wanted to hold his son, apologize for the way Ino had reacted to him, apologize for not being there to protect him from whatever had happened when he was young. It didn't matter that he didn't know Naruto existed; he still felt responsible. But what use were such words now? Would his son even understand them?
"Naruto, come here."
His son obeyed instantly and the Yondaime leaned forward, reaching up to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Some time, when you're ready, I want to know about the things that made your mindscape so dark, musuko."
Naruto blinked at him again, but nodded. "Hai, Hokage-sama."
Minato smiled a little. That would have to do for now. "You're dismissed. Go get some sleep."
Naruto nodded again and with a bow and a cheery "Night, Ero-sennin!", he left.
Minato rubbed his eyes and began searching drawers for the appropriate paperwork to suspend a ninja.
"Dark mindscape?" Jiraiya questioned, moving to sit on the edge of the desk.
"Aa." The blonde gave a small crow of triumph as he pulled out a piece of paper. He set it down and began to write. "Ino said it looks like a dim corridor..."
Minato ran through a forest. It seemed like the forest of Konoha, but it was darker, more threatening somehow. A strange sort of half-light filtered through the trees, illuminating some spots and leaving others in shadows. He was running as fast as he could, but it felt like he wasn't getting anywhere. He had to go home. But he didn't know where 'home' was.
A figure appeared in a patch of light in front of him. Long red hair and burning gray eyes, fixed on him. Kushina…
She was so beautiful, dressed in a white kimono with red flames licking at the hem and sleeves. He got closer and realized the flames weren't just a decoration, but were real, burning without seeming to consume. He, strangely, felt no panic or fear at the sight. It seemed…natural somehow. He opened his mouth to call out her name.
"Okaa-sama!"
…What?! Of all the things he had ever called his lover, 'mother' was most definitely not one of them.
"Your home is not with me, Naruto," she said, and she turned and walked away, disappearing in the darkness between the trees.
Naruto? And it hit him. This was his son's dream. He was experiencing it through their connection.
He/his son stood trembling, gazing after Kushina. He desperately wanted her to come back; it hurt so badly to know she had turned her back on him, had left him again…
Minato wasn't sure if it was his son's pain or his own he was feeling. Probably both.
He stood watching the spot a little longer, but then turned abruptly away and began to run again. As much as it hurt, she was right. She was not his home. He had to find his home!
Another figure appeared, this one tall and white-haired.
"Jiraiya-sensei!"
"I can show you your home," he said, smiling.
He felt happiness, relief, hope.
The Toad Sage turned and began running. He eagerly followed.
Sometimes the big man would disappear amongst the trees ahead and he would start to panic. "No, wait up, Sensei!"
Jiraiya would laugh, a little cruelly Minato thought, and reply, "If you can't keep up, you'll never find your home."
And he would try to run faster, but no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't catch up to the Sannin.
Finally, though, two huge green gates came into view, much bigger than they were in real life. But he was happy, because he knew this was his home. Konoha.
A crowd of people seemed to be waiting for him. All the ninja his son had met so far were arrayed in front of the gate, and, right out in front, Minato himself stood, Jiraiya on his right and Kakashi on his left. They were smiling at him.
He felt so happy, knowing he was home. "Otou-sama!"
Minato found it odd, calling himself father, but the sensation passed quickly as his dream self frowned.
Suddenly, everyone else was frowning too.
"How dare you call me that?" the dream Minato asked, face like a thundercloud and voice angry.
Confusion, fear. "B-but-"
"You're no son of mine." Minato wanted to shudder as his own face contorted into a dreadful, mocking sneer. "As if I would ever claim a monster."
Everything seemed to stop and he felt pain, nothing but pain.
Minato cried out to his son. NO! I'd never say that! But he knew it wouldn't do any good. He had to be touching Naruto for his son to hear his thoughts.
"W-What…?"
Ino--damn bitch!--spoke up. "Don't deny it! I saw you! Monster!"
And the other ninja all echoed the sentiment. "Bakemono!" "Monster!" "Demon!" "Beast!"
And Minato suddenly felt a burning rush, as if a fire had started inside and was quickly consuming him. It hurt, but somehow it felt good too.
Horror. "No, no!" He lifted his hands and saw he had claws. And he knew without thinking that his whiskers were dark and his fangs had grown and his eyes were red. "NO!"
He was becoming the monster they thought him to be before their very eyes. He tried to repress the feeling, to return to his normal appearance, but it wouldn't go. He couldn't change back.
And now they were laughing. Mocking, derisive, shrieks of laughter that cut him to the quick.
His eyes found Sasuke and he reached out a hand. "Please…"
But the Uchiha turned away. "Don't speak to me."
"I-I thought you'd understand…"
He sniffed. "Why would I? I'm still human, unlike you." Scorn fairly dripped from Sasuke's cold voice.
He shrank back and covered his ears. "Stop, please stop!"
But they didn't. The laughter and the shouts continued, even when he looked up and saw that all the other ninja were gone and it was just the dream Minato staring down at him. With a kunai in his hand.
Fear, despair, pain.
Wake up! Naruto! Minato thought desperately, even though his son couldn't hear him.
His dream self didn't look angry anymore. He didn't look like anything. There was no expression on his face. He was dreadfully blank, indifferent. As if what he was about to do didn't matter to him at all. "You're a mistake."
He cringed and tried to back away, but found he couldn't move. The kunai came up. "One I intend to rectify." And plunged down.
Minato's eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright in his bed, breathing hard, his heart pounding wildly.
Naruto!
Without really thinking about it, almost instinctively, he disappeared, leaving his covers to fall softly into the space where he had been a moment before.
He reappeared, barefoot, bare-chested, on the balcony of his son's room. The screen was half-open and he slid it the rest of the way, eyes quickly assessing the situation.
Naruto lay on his futon, thrashing wildly, covers long since thrown off. He was crying and whimpering. "Stop, please, stop…"
Minato thought his heart might break. His son was dreaming that Minato was murdering him. He had to do something. He dropped down on his knees next to his son, avoiding the flailing limbs, and shook him sharply by the shoulders. "Naruto! Wake up!"
His son's eyes snapped open, wild and terrified. "NOOOOO!" he screamed and tried to push Minato away. The older man easily caught his son's wrists, gripping them tightly as Naruto struggled. He did his best to ignore the wave of abject fear, despair, and pain that flooded his mind, instead concentrating on calm feelings. It would do no good for him to feed his son's emotions back to him.
"Naruto," he said, "it was a dream. Just a dream. It's ok, now. You're safe. It's ok." He kept repeating soothing words as he leaned over his son, using his own weight to keep his son's arms pinned against his chest.
Naruto's struggles ceased and his eyes lost the wild look. He blinked a few times, breathing ragged but not as fast. "Otou-" he started, but stopped, a wave of irrational fear and panic racing through him.
Minato did his best to not cry and simply smiled. "Aa, musuko. I'm here. It's alright."
The feelings disappeared, replaced by a relief so profound it was almost painful, and Naruto smiled weakly back. Minato released his hold on his son and the teen sat up, slowly, still shaking a little. "H-How did you know…?" he asked, rubbing at his face.
"I dreamed it, too," Minato replied simply.
Naruto's eyes widened a little. He scrambled onto his knees and bowed low. "F-Forgive me, Hokage-sama," he said. "I did not mean to disturb your sleep. I am fine now. There is no need for you to remain here, if you wish to return to your bed."
Minato's chest constricted painfully at the words and he recalled something else his son had said. "…a gift is no good if it is a burden…"
His son still defined his life by how useful he was to Minato. He was so afraid to be a burden, so scared that he was not a 'good gift.' He wouldn't let Minato do anything for him; not clean up after dinner, not comfort him when he had a nightmare. Not be his father. And it hurt.
But he couldn't tell him that. Just like earlier, he wasn't sure Naruto would understand. Three weeks wasn't enough time to change attitudes ingrained in him from the moment he was born. Actions were all Minato had. He had to show Naruto that he wanted to be his father, not his master. He would help his son, whether the teen wanted him to or not.
Right now, what his son needed was comfort. He was obviously still insecure about his place in the village and Minato's feelings for him. Ino's stupid attack had brought those anxieties to the surface.
He leaned forward and placed a hand on the back of his son's neck. He kissed the top of Naruto's head and then rested his forehead against it. He inhaled deeply, smiling faintly as he realized his son smelled like ramen and something else…something bright and tangy. He sat that way for a moment, just breathing and feeling his son's soft hair tickle his face.
"Naruto," he began. "There is nowhere I want to be right now but here. And you are not fine. I can feel you trembling even now. I can feel how upset you are." His son shifted nervously, but he continued. "And you have every right to be. That was a horrible dream." He lifted his head away and shifted his hands so they cupped his son's face. He gently tilted his head up, to look into those huge blue eyes. They were so like his own, but so much more expressive then Minato's had ever been. "I love you, musuko," he said gently, willing the feeling to cross to his son. Naruto took a shaky breath. "I don't think you're a monster at all, or a mistake, and I would never, never hurt you."
Tears formed in Naruto's eyes and he bit his lip, obviously trying to keep from crying. He stared for a long minute at Minato and then did what the older blonde hoped he would do. He let out the breath he'd been holding in a strangled sob and shut his eyes tight. The tears he tried to hold back dripped down his cheeks and he clutched at his father's arms. Minato shifted into a seated position and scooted as close to his son's side as he could get. It was awkward, but it didn't make any difference. He pulled his son into him, moving his right arm around his shaking shoulders. Naruto grabbed him around the waist like a drowning man holding on to a piece of driftwood. His sobs were muffled against Minato's chest. He stroked his son's hair and laid his cheek against the top of his head. He said nothing and simply held him.
After a short while, Naruto's sobs quieted and his shoulders stopped shaking. He sat up and Minato let him go. His son kept his gaze down and wiped his face. An awkward silence descended. Now what? Minato had been completely sure of his actions up until this point. But now…Naruto was done crying and looked vaguely ashamed. Minato had a mix of tears and snot drying on his right side, leaving behind a crust of salt and…whatever it was mucus was made of. He wanted to go home and clean up and go back to sleep. But was he just supposed to leave his son here? That didn't seem right.
"Do you want some tea?" Minato finally asked. Naruto had mentioned during one of their dinner conversations that he found tea ceremonies to be soothing. Maybe having some of the drink now would help comfort him.
Naruto blinked at him and looked down again. He fidgeted with the edge of the futon. "Y-Yes, please," he whispered.
Minato smiled. "Ok. Me, too." He stood and reached a hand down to his son, who took it, somewhat hesitantly, and let Minato pull him to his feet. He hugged his son close. "Hold on tight," he said and before Naruto could do more than tilt his head in confusion, they vanished.
They reappeared in Minato's kitchen, Naruto's reaction finally coming a little too late. His grip on his father tightened and his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. Minato had to laugh at the expression.
"T-That w-was…y-you…I-I…" his son stammered, apparently unable to form a coherent sentence. Minato laughed harder.
"Yes, that was the Hiraishin." He shrugged. "I didn't really feel like running back here half-dressed. Besides," he grinned wickedly. "I have to keep my ANBU on their toes."
Naruto smiled a little at that and let go of Minato, moving to sit on one of the stools in front of the kitchen counter. He'd barely taken a step, though, when his legs gave out. Minato caught him before he hit the floor, having been waiting for something like that to happen.
"The Hiraishin does that to you," he remarked as he helped his son sit and went to get him a glass of water. "Feels strange, doesn't it?" At Naruto's nod, he continued. "That technique puts a lot of stress on the body, when you aren't used to it. Although, being a passenger, so to speak, isn't as bad." He tilted his head thoughtfully as he placed the water in front of his son. "Still, I would have expected more of a reaction…" He smiled. "Well, maybe that's not so surprising." He ruffled Naruto's hair. "You are my son after all."
Naruto blinked at him and smiled tentatively. He took a sip of water and Minato continued, heading back to the cabinets to get the tea things. "The first time I did it, I threw up and passed out for half an hour, as Sensei likes to remind me…" He kept chattering as he filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove, feeling grateful that Naruto hadn't yet tried to make the tea himself. Although, he had the feeling that any minute now…
"I can do that, Hokage-sama."
And there it was. Minato sighed inwardly. Well, Naruto had let him do this much. It was a start.
He turned to face his son, smiling. "You feeling better?" Naruto nodded, the half-empty water glass in his hands. "Ok. Well, you can keep an eye on it while I go get a shirt, hmmm?"
Naruto nodded again, slipping off the stool and Minato left for his bedroom on the second floor. He quickly wiped off his side with a damp towel and changed into a new pair of dark red sleep pants and a white uwagi shirt. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed another from the drawer. His son was only dressed in a black, sleeveless top and orange shorts, and while it was still warm during the day, the nights were cool. Fall had arrived in Fire Country.
Returning to the kitchen, he found Naruto carefully packing the loose tea leaves in the infuser. It would be no use trying to get the younger blonde to let him make the tea now. So, instead, he held out the other shirt. "Are you cold, Naruto?"
His son smiled and shook his head. "No, thank you, Hokage-sama. I'm hardly ever cold." Minato blinked and laid the unwanted garment over a stool, taking a seat himself.
"Really?" he asked.
Naruto only nodded. "Aa." He poured steaming water from the kettle into the tea pot.
Minato pondered that. His son was warm, now that he thought about it. Every time he touched him, it was like warming his hands by a fire. It was like…he closed his eyes briefly and sighed. It was like Kushina.
He frowned a little. Thinking about Kushina and the warmth she always radiated reminded him of the dream.
"Naruto," he said, a little slowly. He didn't want to remind his son of painful things, but... "In the dream--" his son's shoulders stiffened, but he continued to pour the tea into cups, "--when you…changed…it felt like you were burning. Does it always feel that way?"
Naruto turned to look at him, surprised by the question. He chewed on his lip a little, then turned back to the tea. "Yes," he replied at last. He picked up the two cups and brought them over to the counter. He placed one in front of his father and took the other himself, seating himself next to Minato. He gave the Hokage a small smile before fixing his gaze firmly on the counter and blowing on the hot tea in his hand.
Minato picked up his own cup, frowning a little. He had more questions, but decided that this wasn't the time nor place to discuss demonic transformations with his son. So, he settled on a different question. "Do you have nightmares often?" he asked gently.
His son shrugged. "Sometimes," he replied, taking a small sip from his cup.
"Are they always that bad?"
Naruto shrugged again and took another sip. "No," he said finally. "Although…" he trailed off and sipped his tea again.
"Although?" Minato prompted.
"In a way, they've all been worse than this one."
Worse? Minato didn't want to think about how they could possibly be worse. But he asked anyway. "How so?"
Naruto put his cup down and pushed it back and forth a little on the counter, staring fixedly at it. "Because…because nobody's ever been there when I woke up before." He glanced shyly at Minato out of the corner of his eye, then took a quick sip of tea and went back to staring at the cup.
Minato blinked. That simple confession had been made in such a small voice, and the look his son had as he'd glanced at him…it was like the first day he'd met him, after he told him he loved him for the first time. In this moment, Naruto wasn't an almost-sixteen-year-old, chuunin level, hanyou ninja. He was the child he'd never been before, alone in the world, desperate for a little comfort, desperate for someone, anyone to tell him it would be ok. Minato could be that someone. He swore to himself, right then and there, that he would be that someone for his son, no matter how old he was or how old he tried to be.
He snaked a hand around his son's shoulders and pulled him close. He kissed the top of his head again. "I will always be there for you, musuko," he murmured. "I promise." He held him a moment longer and then let go. Naruto smiled at him and they finished their tea in silence.
Minato yawned and stretched, placing his cup on the counter. Naruto noticed and gulped the rest of his before Minato could tell him to take his time. He grabbed Minato's cup and took them both to the sink.
"Just leave it, Naruto," Minato said. "I'll take care of it in the morning."
Naruto blinked at him and nodded, somewhat reluctantly. He walked back over to his father and bowed. "Thank you for the tea, Hokage-sama," he said.
"You're welcome," Minato replied. "I hope it helped."
Naruto nodded. "It did."
Uncomfortable silence again. Naruto may have been feeling better, but Minato still didn't like the idea of him going back to his room, alone. His son had been alone entirely too much in his life as it was. Maybe he could…would he want to…?
"Ummm…o-otou-sama?" Naruto said suddenly. He was looking at the ground and shifting his weight nervously, once again the picture of a lonely child. "Could I maybe…uhhh…if you don't mind, would it be ok if I…" He took a breath. "If-I-stayed-with-you-tonight?" He looked up at his father, biting his lip.
The last part was so rushed, it took Minato a moment to figure out what he said, and Naruto took the pause to be a refusal. He looked back down. "Gomen, Hokage-sama. I-I shouldn't have asked that. I understand. It's probably too suspicious, ne?" He looked up again with a completely fake grin plastered to his face. Minato was learning to differentiate those from the real ones. "It's fine."
Minato sighed and placed his hands on his son's shoulders. "I wish you'd stop jumping to conclusions all the time, Naruto." The boy blinked at him. "I was actually thinking the exact same thing. It's fine if you stay tonight. And it's only suspicious if someone knows you stayed here." His ANBU guard would know, but they didn't count. They didn't gossip about the Hokage. Ever.
Naruto frowned, thinking. "Well, I guess if I leave early enough…"
Minato shook his head. "Naruto, how did you get here?"
His son's eyes widened. "Oh! You mean you'll take me back with the Hiraishin too?"
Minato nodded, chuckling. "Yes. It's not like I don't have to go to the Tower in the morning anyway. I'll take you with me, and no one will be the wiser." He ruffled his son's hair and yawned again. "Come on, I'm tired."
He led the way upstairs, already picturing his nice, warm, comfortable bed.
He slid a door open on the right-hand side of the hall and gestured for Naruto to enter. He did, a little hesitantly, and made his way to the bed. He pulled back the covers and sat on the edge. Minato smiled gently at him and leaned down to kiss his head.
"I'm right next door, ok?" he said, even though Naruto would be able to sense him. "Call me if you need anything."
Naruto nodded with another small smile. "Good night, otou-sama," he said.
"Good night, musuko."
Minato slid the door partially closed as he left, hearing the rustling of covers being pulled up. He made his way to his own bedroom and quickly shed his shirt, tossing it on a chair. He smiled as he sank gratefully into his bed. He had to show his son it was ok to want things from him, and this was a good start. It was going to take a long time--a long, long time--but Minato was patient. He would prevail and Naruto would be hitting him up for ramen every day! His smile faltered at the thought of the bill. Well…maybe not every day.
Naruto awoke with the sun on his face, creating a lovely, golden patch of warmth, and the most beautiful song he'd ever heard playing softly in his head. He snuggled deeper into his pillow without opening his eyes. He was so comfortable…he didn't want it to end just yet.
But after a moment his eyes flew open and he sat straight up in the bed, head automatically swiveling in the direction of the music. The song...it was his father.
He blinked a few times, clearing the sleep from his eyes and his brain. He slid out from under the sheet and crept to the half-open screen. He stuck his head into the hall. The soft rush of water and off-key humming from behind a closed door across from him told him his father was in the shower. He lowered his eyes. He felt...ashamed and...silly. He'd be sixteen in a few weeks and he'd acted like a little kid last night! Just because of some stupid nightmare. It's not like he hadn't had them before or anything. Although...
It was nice to fall asleep knowing his father was nearby and hearing his heartbeat, so strong, so steady, lulling him into slumber. It made him feel...safe. Accepted. Not alone. He'd only felt that way a few times before, with Ero-sennin. He smiled a little at the memories.
But still! He was too old for that sort of thing. He slipped from the bed. He'd use the bathroom downstairs and then make his father breakfast by way of apology. Although the Hokage hadn't seemed mad at all. He'd actually been really nice about the whole thing. He'd been...supportive, and comforting, and...like a dad.
Naruto wasn't stupid. He knew the man was his father, of course. But his concept of what a father should be, would be, was not the same as other's. A father was a master, and that was that. However, Naruto wasn't blind either. He'd seen the way most human fathers hugged their children, or held their hands, or carried them on their shoulders. And he'd struggled with his desperate jealousy, because half of him wanted a father like that while the other half thought it was idiotic. He was not a human child, so he shouldn't expect to be treated like one. But the Hokage had treated him as a human last night, and had seemed happy to do so. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to want a dad instead of a master.
Well...he'd still make breakfast. It was a fitting gesture, no matter what definition of 'father' he used.
Minato reached for his coat, like he did every morning, but paused. Normally, he grabbed it off the hanger, swept it over his shoulders, and went about his business. But today...today was different. Naruto's dream last night stirred up memories and feelings he hadn't thought of in a long time.
He sighed and traced the lines of the red 'yon' kanji with one long, slender finger.
"Welcome home...Hokage-sama..."
He shivered a little, just as he had when she first said those words, voice low and sultry in a candle-lit bedroom.
He closed his eyes and remembered.
The war was over; had been over for a little more than a month. But there were still things to take care of. Iwa was pushing its luck, testing the boundaries of the armistice and Konoha's patience. For no reason, other than wounded pride. It was a sick, stupid waste of human life and Minato was disgusted by it. Iwa wouldn't win if the war started again. They had lost more of their forces than Konoha--in no small part because of him--so these small-scale border incursions were useless, pointless, like the war itself. But they had to be dealt with. And who was better suited to the task than him? He'd taken out twice the number of ninja in one go than they were sending now. It didn't mean it was easy, though, or that he enjoyed it. It wasn't an honest challenge against a worthy opponent, even if they had their orders and he had his. He hated it. Taking life after life so senselessly made him feel cold, numb, like a shinigami himself. The stench of death seemed to cling to him, like the dirt and the blood and the sweat. He was so tired of it all and the peace his sensei often spoke of seemed as far out of reach as ever.
So he had come home to his humble apartment, weary to the bone in more ways than one, wanting nothing more than to get clean and sleep for a few days...or weeks...or months...
And Kushina, as always, was waiting for him with a hot bath and a dish of warm sake. He really didn't know how she always knew when he was home. He'd ask her and she'd just flash him a smile and answer without really answering. "A little birdie told me" was a popular response. Honestly, she sounded like Obito used to.
He slid into the bath, hissing a little at the heat but relishing it all the same, and soaked, one hand holding the sake dish clear of the water. He allowed himself only one drink after missions. He had seen what happened to shinobi that tried to drown their pain too many times to ever take that path himself. But he still enjoyed the taste and the burning warmth of the drink as it flowed down his throat and pooled in his stomach, not to mention the way it relaxed tense muscles.
He stayed until the just-shy-of-scalding water turned cool. Wishing that the laws of nature did not apply and the water would stay hot forever--maybe I could create a jutsu for that?--he heaved himself out of the bath and dried off with the big fluffy white towel Kushina left for him. Wrapping it around his waist, he made his way to his bedroom. He was clean now, but he was still terribly tired and that dreadful cold hadn't gone away, despite the bath and the sake.
He slid open his bedroom door and froze, staring, all thoughts of sleep, and anything else, leaving his head.
"Welcome home, Hokage-sama."
Her voice was low and sultry and he shivered, despite the warmth that suddenly sparked in his stomach.
Kushina perched on the edge of his bed, long red hair draped over her shoulder. Lit candles littered every available surface in the room, imparting a soft, flickering glow to her form. She was wearing his coat and...his breath hitched.
Nothing else.
His heart rate doubled and the spark in his stomach roared to life and spread, like a flame licking at dry leaves.
He couldn't speak as she slowly slid off the bed, moving towards him gracefully. She turned, hands resting on her hips, weight shifted so one shapely leg was revealed.
"Do you like it?"
It took him a moment to realize what she was talking about. Red kanji now adorned the back of his coat--the coat she'd given him in the first place. It read 'Yondaime Hokage.' The Sandaime had only given him the news of his succession a few weeks prior and no official announcement had been made. But of course, he'd told those closest to him, including her.
She was watching him over her shoulder, wide gray eyes dark in the dim light.
He licked dry lips and swallowed. "Yes," he replied hoarsely, "I like it very much."
She smirked, enjoying the effect she was having on him. "Good."
She continued her advance and he could do nothing but stare. Her hands slid up around his neck and into his hair as she pressed her body against his. Kami, she was so warm.
"What's the matter, Namikaze? Cat got your tongue?" She laughed lowly and he twitched as her hot breath ghosted over his ear. "As if I would let that happen." She laughed again, amused at a joke he didn't understand. Of course, his brain wasn't exactly working properly since all the blood from that area seemed to be rushing somewhere else entirely.
Light kisses that somehow promised much more made their way down his jawline and approached his mouth, but she stopped short, lips hovering above his.
"I'm beginning to think you don't want me," she murmured. He could feel her pouting.
And suddenly she turned, moving away. "What a shame."
It was all part of the game, and he knew it, but he didn't care. All that mattered was the warmth, her wonderful, glorious warmth was going away. And he wanted it, wanted her, so badly he could taste it. Her warmth had begun to seep into his tired body and banish the cold numbness he still felt. Kushina reminded him, physically as well as mentally, just what he was killing for. To protect what was precious to him, which included her, even if he knew very well she could protect herself. And though he may dole out death to others, he himself was still alive. What better way to validate that fact than by making passionate love to the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with?
He growled and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back towards him. He wrapped one arm around her waist, crushing her body against him while he tangled the other in the most glorious hair he'd ever seen. He crashed his lips onto hers, kissing her with a fierce hunger. She responded with equal ardor and it wasn't long before the towel and the coat were just heaps on the floor.
Afterwards, he was once again tired and sweaty, but he felt no desire to take a bath this time. No, this was a good sweaty, a good tired. His lover was sleeping, sprawled across his chest, legs entwined with his. He was warm and content just stroking her hair and it was right then that he decided to ask her to marry him.
Minato sighed and opened his eyes again. He'd ordered the ring from a place outside of Konoha and he'd proposed a few months later.
And she'd accepted. Or at least, she'd taken the ring. She'd never actually said 'yes'. And then she'd disappeared. Just vanished without a word. Had she been carrying Naruto even then?
His hand fisted in the fabric of the coat before relaxing and slipping the garment off the hanger. He put it on, fastening the cord that held it in place.
That was all in the past. He still didn't know quite he felt about Kushina since learning of Naruto's existence and all the revelations that had brought. Besides, he may never see her again. But Naruto... He smiled. He had Naruto now. He left his room and went to find his son.
Author's Note:
Sorry this is late again. I guess I can add 'updating fanfiction' to the list of things I am perpetually late for. If I ever give anyone a deadline again, add a couple days to it and go with that.