Chapter 15: A Heart to heal, A Time to Leave
Don sat by Nikki's bed, and watched her. Her hands were so full of needles. She had wires all over her. Her eyes were still closed, but her bruises were starting to look better. It had a week since they had found those women. Nikki was still unconscious. Don sat by her bed every night, and would visit her during lunch breaks.
He whispered to her sometimes, just to let her know that she wasn't alone. Her frail body looked even smaller in the hospital bed. He would cook her dinner when she got home. Her one leg was in a cast, and her arm. She had tons of white bandages all over her, and cuts that would turn into scars.
He lightly touched the scar that had been left on his chest from the bombing. He would never forget the terror that seized him every waking moment for months after. He continued to sit by her bed, silently watching her, waiting for the moment her eyes would open.
Lindsay sat at home, she felt somewhat better. Every now and then, she would gently press her hand to her abdomen, and remember the day she found out she was pregnant. Danny had been so ecstatic and scared. She was too. She still was scared. Danny had been around a lot more. He would go and visit Nikki, but always made sure that Lindsay was fine.
She felt foolish for running off like she did. She was only lucky that the baby was alright. She didn't feel lucky though. She apologized as soon as she opened her eyes. So had Danny. She even visited Nikki, but the stress that kept her down most of time now, crept up on her when she was least expecting it. Everybody was glad that Nikki was going to be alright. Don especially. She smiled, and she curled up next to Danny, and fell asleep.
Stella found no comfort in what she was reading, it was boring. She had visited Nikki earlier, and found little comfort in knowing that was going to be fine. Stella knew better. Nikki wouldn't be the same. She would be very careful now. If she was reckless before, it would be gone now. The scars that she would carry forever on her body would not be the only reminder of what happened to her.
It would only be part of it. She would still have the memories. Stella thought back to Frankie. He was a great guy, until he put up that website. He nearly killed her, until she turned around and killed him. No, not killed him intentionally, but in self defence.
Nikki would forever remember that specific memory. Stella would be there to help her, because they shared something that they would both remember for the rest of their lives. They had both killed men that they once loved, yes, Stella would be there to talk to her. Stella's phone rang then, and in the eerie silence, it was none too loud. She answered, " Bonasera. Sure, Mac. That's unexpected. I'll be right there." She hung up. Stella went and got dressed, she had a crime scene to investigate.
Stella found herself at the corner of 5th and Booth. On the pavement lay a young girl no more than 16 years old. She had pale blond hair, and her eyes were closed. Although from the drivers licence that Stella held in her hand, Mindy Gordon was indeed 16 and had green eyes. Emerald green. She had a thin frame, although she had defensive wounds on her arms, which would say that she had fought. Detective Angell was behind her talking to some witnesses.
Stella pulled out her camera, and started snapping pictures. Mac looked up from the body, and asked, " What's wrong, Stell?"
" Something about this whole thing seems wrong. She fought, and nobody saw it? That doesn't sound right. Maybe she has an abusive boyfriend", Stella suggested.
" Something's bothering you. I heard it in your voice on the phone. What's really wrong?", Mac asked.
" Okay, so Mindy has a fight with her boyfriend, or someone. She defends herself. Then she walks away, and what? She gets murdered", Stella muttered, " Or maybe they're cat scratches. Maybe one of her friend's cats don't like her." Mac let the subject change go for now, she would tell him when she was ready. He knew she was struggling with something, right now just wasn't the time to talk about it.
Angell walked over and said, " Okay, either everyone over there is blind, or they are really good actors."
" I take it no one saw anything then?", Mac asked.
" Nope, they didn't. I talked to the person who found her, said, people just kept walking by, like death is an everyday occurrence around here", Angell answered, disgust laced with her words.
" People just don't care enough about anyone else besides themselves that they either pretend not to notice, or just don't care enough to call for help", Stella murmured.
" It's true. People are too self-centred around here. There's a young girl on the curb, maybe not even dead yet, but knowing that people just keep walking by her. There could've been a chance to save her. What the hell is wrong with people?", Angell replied, disgustedly. Mac and Stella turned to her, her face gave everything away. She was hiding pain.
Mac walked over to her, and seeing her unshed tears building up in her eyes, asked, " Are you okay?"
The tears started rolling down her cheeks, and she replied, " I need something to drink."
Mac nodded over to Stella and then went over to her and murmured, " Take her to get a cup of coffee. I'll take over from here. She needs someone to talk to." Stella nodded and walked over to Angell.
" Here, let me take you to get a cup of coffee. You don't have to talk, just walk", Stella muttered.
Twenty minutes later, Stella and Angell sat at a table at a nice café nursing two cups of coffee. Angell looked at the ground and then up to Stella, who was looking at her coffee.
" I'm so sorry for what happened. I don't know what came over me", Angell apologized.
" It's ok. Mac understands. Take all the time you need", Stella replied.
" Thanks. I think I owe you an explanation", Angell answered.
" You don't owe me anything. It's fine", Stella reassured her.
" I need to. It happened a long time ago. My sister, Natalie, she was 18. Not much older than Mindy. She was killed on that same corner as Mindy was. She was so bright and beautiful. She had a boyfriend. They got into a fight. She was walking home. She witnessed something she shouldn't have. A murder. The murderer seen her and all she could do was stand, and look horrified. He killed her, stabbed her on that corner", Angell stopped to wipe a tear from her eyes, " She lay there bleeding for a few hours. People walked by her, not caring that there was a dying girl lying on the sidewalk. She died. The coroner said that she could've been saved if someone had phoned the cops. No one did. She died alone. They found the guy a few days after. He was arrested, got 45 years in a jail. 45 years. It should've been death. Natalie is the reason I became a cop. To help the people that needed it", Angell explained.
By the time she was done, Stella had tears in her eyes. She couldn't imagine that. Hearing people's footsteps walk right past you and know that no one will help you. And the fact that they were alone, that had to have hurt. They cleared up and went back to the crime scene.
" I want to find the son-of-a-bitch that did this. She didn't deserve to die like this, alone, with no one to help. When I find him, someone's gonna have to restrain me", Angell muttered. Stella had never seen her so angry.
Don lay his head on Nikki's hospital bed. He held one of her hands in his and for the first time since he found her, he cried. He felt a hand go through his hair, and looked to see Nikki awake. Her brown eyes open, but not very wide.
" Nikki", Don breathed.
" Is this heaven?", she asked.
Don smiled and then replied, " No, it's not. You're alive. In a hospital and majorly injured, but alive. It's better than you being dead."
" Is he still around?", Nikki asked, her eyes suddenly wide with panic.
" No, it's okay. You're safe. He's gone forever and ever. You're safe", Don reassured her. Nikki calmed down and her expression softened again.
" Is Danny around?", Nikki whispered.
" No, he's with Lindsay. The night before we rescued you, Lindsay got into a car accident. She's fine, don't worry. The baby's fine. They got into a big fight and she drove to get the steam out", Don explained.
" Oh, ok. That's good. I was so scared, Don", Nikki said suddenly.
" I bet you were. I hate asking this, but do you remember anything that happened?", Don asked, sitting up.
" I remember Julie, and Rebecca. Oh my God, are they okay? I remember him, Jeremy. That bastard. I should've guessed that he was behind this", Nikki sputtered.
" Yes, they're fine. Julie's with her husband. Rebecca is with her fiancé. You're with me", Don murmured.
" I remember wishing I could see everyone's face again. Danny, Lindsay, Stella, Mac, Hawkes, Sid, Angell, you. I was so scared. Where is everyone anyway?", Nikki asked, noticing that they were the only ones in the room.
" Stella, Angell, and Mac are at a crime scene. Lindsay's at home with Danny. Hawkes is at the lab. Sid is doing what he does best, autopsies", Don replied, " I will let everyone know that you're awake."
" How long have I been here? How long have you been here?", Nikki whispered.
" You've been here for a week. I come here every night to check on you", Don replied. He could easily see that she would be frightened for the next little while. He didn't blame her.
" I've been out for a WEEK", Nikki exclaimed.
" Yes, and don't get yourself worked up. It's not good for you. Relax, breathe", Don answered, " Now, the extent of your injuries. They're pretty bad. But, most of the smaller bruises are gone. The bigger bruises are healing. You have a broken leg and a broken arm. Along with some fractured ribs. Cuts and scrapes. Oh yeah, and the knife wound you received. That, too. Now, I have to go call Danny and Lindsay to let them know that you're awake."
Don started to get up, but a hand and pleading brown eyes stopped him. " Don't leave me, Don. Stay, please. Get a nurse to do it. Don't leave me", pleaded Nikki.
He gave in, " Alright, I'll stay. It's okay", he brushed a strand of hair from her face. " I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. I won't leave you, ever."
He buzzed a nurse, and she came. He requested, " I need you to call her brother and let him know she's awake."
He stayed by her side, even when Danny and Lindsay came in. " Hey, sis. Long time, no see. It's good to see your eyes open", Danny chimed as he bent and kissed her forehead.
" It's so good to see you, too. Lindsay, I heard about the accident. I'm so sorry", Nikki replied as she grasped her sister-in-law's hand.
" It's ok. It's just nice to see you awake. Danny's been real worried", Lindsay smiled.
" Yeah, I have. I'm so sorry about what happened. I never should've let you go, I should've kept you in the lab", Danny apologized.
" It's not your fault, Danny. He was gonna get me anyway. It wouldn't have mattered, you did nothing wrong. You have a wife, and my little niece or nephew on the way. You can't expect to be around all the time like you used to be", Nikki assured him.
" I know, it's just that, maybe if I was around more, I could've protected you from this", he gestured towards her casts.
" Danny, stop that. Right now. You can't look after me my whole life. When we were kids, that's a different story. You weren't married, and you weren't about to be a father. Now you do, and now you are. I have to find someone else to look after me. I love you, Danny. Lindsay needs you, the baby needs you. It's time I found someone", Nikki announced. Don suddenly turned rigid in the chair. He didn't like the sound of that.
Danny and Lindsay looked stunned, and from their expressions, it was clear they were surprised. Nikki noticed Don turn rigid in the chair next to her bed. It was true she needed to find someone, although she was sure she had already, when she could walk again completely, she would leave and find her way again. Right now, she felt lost, and alone. Danny had a wife, and a baby on the way. Nikki loved the man that sat stone-still in the chair beside her bed, she loved him with all her heart. But, something deep down said Don Flack didn't feel the same way.
Stella showed up not long after that, and Don went to get a cup of coffee. She took a look at Nikki and said, " It's nice to see your eyes finally open."
" Thanks. Hey, I was wondering, after I get set free from here in a couple of months, do you think I could stay at your place?", Nikki asked.
" Sure, I guess", Stella replied, hesitantly.
" Thanks. I don't want to intrude on Danny and Lindsay. I know that I was the reason that they fought. I can't stay here. As soon as I can be set free, I need to get out of here. After I heal, I'm leaving", Nikki announced. Once again, throwing off Stella.
" Where are you gonna go?", Stella asked, trying to hold back the surprise she felt.
" I don't know. Danny has a wife and a baby on the way. I can't keep intruding on them. I already know that I was the cause of the fight. Lindsay looks at me with caution on her face now. I can't stay here, knowing Danny worries about me. I need to leave, to be out of the way", Nikki explained.
" What about Don?", Stella asked.
" What about him? I can't keep waiting. You can't tell him, but I love him, with all my heart. Loving him kept me alive. I know that he doesn't feel the same way. I'm not his type. He's not the kind of guy who falls in love. I know that. So, I need to leave before it hurts too much to leave", Nikki whispered. After Stella left, when she offered to be someone she could talk to, Nikki started crying. It hurt a lot, but she did anyway.
The doctor came in and talked to her, she asked when it would be possible to leave, and he had said it would be awhile. Thanks to the extent of the injuries, it would be at least a month or two. Nikki lay in bed that night, alone, crying. Her parents would be there in the morning, maybe she should stay with them until she could leave New York, once and for all.