"How is she?" Looker sprinted up to Kristen the moment she stepped out of the infirmary. He happened to know her quite well, being nursed by her back in his days of frequent injuries. He would've greeted her properly and maybe even engage in a bit of a small talk, but he couldn't afford it at the moment.
She gave him a look of well-established composure. That calmed him down. "We've tended to the scratches. She's a little feverish and anemic, but nothing major, now we're in the process of intravenous infusion."
"Thank you…" Her monotonous diagnostic report alleviated half of his stress. He felt himself sliding down a chair in the waiting room and sinking into the cushion.
She nodded as a unvoiced response, and pushed her square-rimmed glasses up her nose. "So I take it that your mission didn't end well?"
"… Is it that obvious?" Looker lowered his gaze again, staring down at his feet. "You're right. One of us screwed up. Killed one and injured the others."
"I'm sorry."
"… Don't be. It was me."
"Oh. I'm very sorry." She patted him gently on the shoulders in consolation. He sighed loudly and buried his face into his hands. Looker avoided eye contact with her from the start; he knew that he wouldn't stand the eyeful of pity from Kristen or anyone else. He'd rather be treated like a criminal, like the culprit, as Nanu did.
And Nanu... "How's Na… Chief 000? Is he…" he eyed the infirmary and mouthed the word "alright".
Then he saw Nanu, stepping out of the infirmary, shirt half buttoned, showing through the thick layers of bandages across his chest. Nanu caught him staring and shot back a murderous look, Stopping Looker dead in his tracks.
Kristen exchanged a nod of greeting with Nanu and replied, "You should see for yourself. I'll leave you two alone for now."
So it's just him and Nanu. Again.
Fantastic. He could really use another hour of awkward silence to run the flashbacks in his head or to go on another guilt trip.
"Stop making that face. You look pathetic." Surprisingly Nanu was the first to break the awkward silence, which took him by surprise. Nanu waved something white and flaky in front of his eyes, it was a napkin. "You look like you're about to blubber." He took the napkin from Nanu's hands and slid it into his pockets because he had no use for them at the moment.
Nanu was wrong though. His eyes were as dry as they could be. They weren't drained of tears, tears weren't there in the first place. He wished that he had them, at least it would make him look somewhat pathetic.
He wasn't wearing glasses, but he felt that something was blurring his vision like the winter fog or his own breath rising up the lenses like hot white steam. He knew that neither one would be real, as there was no winter in Alola, and that he never had a pair of glasses from the start.
His train of thoughts were as as clear as his vision. The upper content of his head was no more than a spiral of wool, slowly turning as it unravelled. One more revolution, and the final strand was released, allowing him, or at least his mind, to flip through the gap, to float slowly up, and away.
He zoomed out. Without even noticing it.
He couldn't see well. But his ability of sound perception had somewhat been amplified by 10 times or so. But none of the sounds were real, they were just the voices of his worst nightmare, being replayed to him over and over again.
—Pekky chirping
Growly snarling
Croagy croaking.
Cathie screaming. Cathie screaming.
Cathie screaming—
He shut his eyes miserably.
The screams faded to silence at last.
But the silence itself felt unreal.
He heard footsteps. It felt like a few centuries later that he had heard it.
Heavier than Kristen's. A lot more rushed. The footsteps, echoing down the halls were becoming louder and louder.
"Hey! Er… I mean, 100kr!"
He blinked hard to clear out the blur and reset his focus.
He saw a sizable ball of fluff. No, that's not it. Zooming in. The ball of fluff was someone's kinky, wooly hair. Moving down. Round glasses. Freckles. White lab coat. Lab goggles hanging in front of tie. Zooming in. The tie was full of creases. Had Koffings all over it. Koffings? Koffings confirmed.
There's only one such person he knew with such dreadful taste in ties.
"…Well if it isn't Shaun. Haven't seen you for quite a while. And I thought you could do better than a tie covered in Koffings."
Shaun was one of his few friends back in their days of training. He was never a fan of combat but always seemed to notice the quirkiest details in cases. Unlike Looker, an errand-running officer, he is a member of the Forensics department, well, working in the Forensics laboratory does suit him.
"We just met for the first time in forever and you're judging my tie?! Anyways I just heard about your mission, they said that you were hurt and that you'd be here… I just wanted to come say hi, and umm," back in the days Shaun wasn't the best at reading the situation, but this time he did avoid saying the taboo word, "check to make sure that you're ok and everything's ok!"
"Well how nice of you." He gave Shaun a weary but the most genuine smile he was capable of. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Really."
"Ughhhhh if anything, I'm glad that you're not as hurt as Chief 000…" Ignoring Nanu's razor eyes on the side, Shaun gave him a gigantic bear hug and squeezed him tightly. "It's great to finally see you again but I hate to see you like this!"
"… Get off me. You smell like chemicals that have been incubated for days. Did you even shower? Are you using chemicals for your shampoo?"
"Awwweee but it's a cuddle of love!"
"No, it's a bear hug, and if you don't want to strangle your old friend take your hands off me."
Shaun did. Although Reluctant.
"How's work at the Forensics lab?"
"Oh I'm not at the Forensics lab anymore, I guess I haven't told you yet!" There was a jejunely glow in Shaun's eyes as he went ahead on rambling about his new position, "I got transferred to the new Unidentified Beasts Department! UBD for short! Some quite bizarre creatures indeed! Very intriguing. Absorbing. And that's how I got to know about your mission. By the way, what are you guys doing, hanging around here?"
"Well… I'm still waiting for someone in the infirmary. A girl that we found passed out on the beach." He pointed at the doors of the closed infirmary down the hallway.
"Woah…" Shaun had quite the look of bewilderment on his face, pop-eyed and mouth opened, "I thought that this kinda thing only happened in movies? What happened?"
He was about to proceed on with a dramatic interpretation, of a mysterious girl who fell from the stars, who knows almost nothing about this world and about herself. Looker had the dramatic settings and with his entrance all planned out when Nanu was one step ahead of him, and finished it brutally in a sentence. "Long story short, we picked her up at the beach after we came back."
"She couldn't remember pretty much anything about herself except for her name, we just gotta take her back." He added, because this was something pivotal to the story that should not be omitted.
"… The two of you were coming back from the beast?"
"That's correct."
"Recall for me, was the detector behaving irregularly when the girl was found?"
"Now that you think of it, it was a little…" Looker was about to carry on with the subtle details he remembered until he felt Nanu pinching his arms from the behind. It was the cue for him to keep his lips sealed. Now that he thought of it, Shaun did ask something fairly offbeat and Nanu noticed it well ahead of him.
Nanu took over the conversation, without releasing his pinching claws. "No, nothing in particular."
"Still, this is too similar to be a coincidence. This really reminds me of a previous case." Shaun was stroking his chin, and he recognized it as the universal code for 'I'm thinking real hard and about to do something big'. Finally raising his head, Shaun asked: "You wouldn't mind me taking the girl into inspection would you? My gut feeling tells me that this shouldn't be overlooked."
Huh?
He froze.
What? Where's the connection between the two? How did this happen?
He glanced at Nanu, signaling for him to take over, this time a mutual agreement was established.
"That is not for us to decide." Nanu took over yet again, pointing at the closed doors of the infirmary. "She's under the nurses' care, so you need to ask for their permission first. Pretty sure she's still out cold."
"I will, thank you Chief! Be back in a minute!"
Seeing Shaun trotting toward the nurses in the hall, Nanu turned towards him with yet another overwhelming glare. "She's your responsibility, so if anything happens..." He trailed off flatly, Looker couldn't even tell whether he was really mad or not. A black nausea was growing exponentially in his stomach after every step he followed Shaun.
"Damn! You've gotten yourself another faller!"
They met Shaun a few hours later, an almost child-like feverishness in his eyes and voice.
"… what is that supposed to mean?"
Somehow Shaun look even more puzzled than the two of them. "Huh? I thought you knew. Your partner, what was her name again…" Shaun scratched his head a little, he also wasn't good with names, "Ca…Cathie? She's one of the very few fallers that we've encountered! It was confirmed that she fell through the same hole as those beasts! She's coated with the radiation of the wormhole! That's why she was assigned as your partner, she was supposed to lure out the beast! The beast would be attracted to her, thinking that she's another wormhole!"
Clink.
That was probably the sound of a small glass puzzle piece, finally being locked into position, presenting him with the unbroken view of the completed puzzle.
Clink.
Or more like, the sound of all those glass puzzle pieces knocking together, smashing into each other, and breaking violently into even smaller pieces.
Why didn't anyone from the organization ever informed them of the potential risk of this mission?
They weren't meant to know about the risks. They, or at least Cathie, wasn't meant to survive.
Why was Cathie assigned to be their partner, when she wasn't properly trained for intensive combat?
She wasn't worth to be properly trained for combat, she was dead meat to them from the start.
Why was Cathie the only one targeted by the beast?
She was the bait.
She was only a bait.
Clink.
He got the answers that he wanted.
In the worst possible way.
"My seniors told me all about your partner, how she was found, the conditions that she was in, so I recognized all these symptoms of a faller at first sight! I was slightly concerned earlier… Fallers are rare, you know, there's only as many as 3 found in the official records. I feel sorry for her, Cathie, but now that you've got another one to fill the gap!"
That was the moment when the black nausea in his stomach engulfed him. It was like a vexing of the soul for what almost felt not human. It was twisted and distorted but it was something overwhelming. It burnt like fire lacing his veins and creeping up to his spine and his brain. He felt sick of Shaun and everyone else and everything else. The acidity of the nausea residing in his stomach was waiting to be spat out in the most foul and vulgar words. He wanted to scream them into Shaun's ears with every ounce of breath that dwelled in his lungs.
He didn't.
It wasn't Shaun's fault. Shaun didn't do anything wrong, he did nothing more than his job.
It was no one's fault other than his own.
"… This is exactly why I told you not to bring her back in the first place."
Looker turned his head around so abruptly that it sprained his neck. Shaun had left the halls already, most probably jolting back to his office, reporting the breaking news to his higher-ups. Nanu wasn't facing him and somehow looked a lot more humpbacked than he ever was.
"… So you knew it?" His eyes fixedly on Nanu's back while rubbing his strained neck, "You knew that she's one of those… fallers? You knew that she'd be somewhat tied to the beast?"
Nanu did not have the slightest intent of turning around, and this time Looker could not guess the look on his face. "It was one of my suspicions," he continued, "the wormhole radiation detection device was buzzing like crazy when she was around. It's only reasonable to assume that she fell out of the same wormhole as the beast."
Nanu sounded so matter-of-fact about this, saying this in the way he would've said his Persian enjoyed the magikarp snacks he bought the other day. He had always remained pragmatic in the most sentimental and detrimental circumstances. And Nanu's monotone sent him into a cold sweat every time.
"… what's gonna happen to her?"
"Funny that you'd ask," Nanu's voice now chilled him to the marrow of his bones, "you know exactly what's gonna happen to her, don't you?"
Yes, he knew exactly what's gonna happen to her.
He brought her to the headquarters only for her to be detained by his fellow policemen, but it's not any different from being in captivity or imprisonment.
Judging by the look on Shaun's face the UB investigation unit is not letting her go that easily.
Fallers are rare, he said. They should be treated like rare Pokemon, that's what Shaun would've also said, being kept and fed inside their little cages and to be utilized only when in absolute need.
She's going to become the second Cathie, her entire existence as an individual human being would mean nothing to them. She will only be used as a bait to those beasts, they wouldn't care in the slightest whether she's gobbled up or torn into shreds, it'd be lucky for her to even have a proper funeral.
He knew exactly what he had done to her.
"… Oh God, what have I done. What have I done."
Nanu sighed and patted him hard on the shoulders. "…This isn't the first time where you had the best of intentions and the worst of results. You've basically ruined her, but what is done can't be changed. Whatever. I'm just gonna tell you not to be hard on yourself."
"… I gotta go tell her. I gotta warn her." Looker shook his head frantically to shake off his wavering thoughts, he was about to turn back to the isolation room.
"Tell her what exactly?" Nanu's hand that was patting him a few seconds ago was clamped onto his left shoulder, the back of his hands vein-laced. "Tell her that she's a so-called faller and doesn't belong here? That she's gonna be imprisoned here by righteous policemen like us?" He stressed satirically on the word 'righteous'. "That she's gonna become a bait to those beasts? That she's gonna die without a proper burial? Yeah, by all means, go tell her that." Nanu released him from his clamp and patted his shoulders again, this time vaguely heavier.
"… I gotta get her out of here." He didn't know where on earth that ludicrous confidence popped out of, but for a minute he was determined and fearless enough to do it.
"Stop fooling yourself." Nanu gave a snort of disbelief, "How do you think that's possible, now that you've basically handed her to them?"
Looker's fingers were desperately tugging at his hair, mumbling, "It shouldn't be this way… There's gotta be a way… There's gotta be a way…"
Nanu grabbed him by the tie almost abruptly and pulled him over in a staggering motion.
"So what if you managed to get her out of here?" Nanu hissed through gritted teeth, his heated breath puffed onto Looker's ears. "What do you think is going to happen after that? You're gonna become the traitor, the common enemy to the IPA, no different than a criminal at large." He paused for a second and glanced around to make sure that the surveillance camera isn't right above their heads, "and I'm probably gonna become an accomplice, like hell I'd want that."
Right
That's not going to happen under their watch.
"Oh and, she's gonna be wanted alive for sure, but you, honestly you'd be dead on your first week into hiding. You're probably gonna be shot dead by interpol given special access to guns. I've heard tons of rumors about that. "
Ta-thump.
There was a throbbing under his right eye again. He was always extra sensitive to the word "gun" and right at that moment he pictured a bullet penetrating his right eye. The graphic wreckage of his eyeball followed.
"Well, at least you wouldn't have to worry about the girl. They're not gonna hurt her. She's the jackpot, she's the rare Pokemon they're trying to catch by all means. They're gonna take her back to this exact same room. So nothing's changed except for getting yourself killed. Attaboy." Nanu released his tie from his clenched fist.
Ta-thump.
He leaned back onto the cold walls of the halls, sliding down as he lost his illusory strut of some sort. This time there wasn't a chair or a cushion underneath. He barely held himself together, somewhat managed to not collapse on the floor.
Nanu was right. He wished that he could say that Nanu was wrong, or at least make an attempt of rebuttal — like when Nanu told him to leave her at the PC. He was gravely wrong last time as well.
Nanu was right. Nothing would've changed. There was nothing that he could do to change it.
He wasn't equipped with the skills or guts to stand up against the whole of IPA in the first place.
He couldn't even save her. Yet he was talking big about bringing her home to her family.
Truly despicable of him.
He couldn't remember how he managed to fall asleep that night.
The pillows were fluffed, the temperature in the room was cool, even his favorite night light was on but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't sleep .
He couldn't remember how he got to the Headquarters the next morning.
Sliding into the driver's seat, buckling the seat belt, starting the engine, even steering and turning the wheel felt like a programmed task being completed. His body moved on its own and finished his routine. He did not think.
He couldn't even remember how he walked pass Nanu, with his grim face and all.
… Well that one he did remember.
"They said that the girl's awake," Nanu cutting to the chase as usual, without saying "good morning" or "how do you do" or any form of greeting. "I've talked to the nurses already, they've given us permission to see her for a few minutes. "
"… Tell her that I said hi."
Nanu raised his eyebrows. "Hmm, aren't you gonna go talk to her at least?"
"Well what am I supposed to say?" He raised his voice all of a sudden and hollered like the wounded beast. "'Good morning, young lady, I'm the reason why you're being kept in captivity'— is that what AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?"
But really, what was he supposed to say to her? What sort of expression should he wear upon seeing her?
…How was he supposed to face her?
Nanu rolled his eyes at his dramatic mood swing and snorted. "Well that's none of my business. You owe her, you know it. An apology, an explanation… but don't go about spitting it all out now."
Sigh.
"…Well at least tell Shaun that I'm away."
"I'm not gonna go up to that little peabrain and play nice. Just go already."
The isolation room was well away from the rest of the medical facility. Apparently the girl needed to be isolated till the radiation was taken care of, that's what Nanu told him at least. Nanu exchanged a few quick words with the nurse in charge, she nodded and signaled them to follow.
They were being guided into the visitation room and sat down in front of the visitor's table with a wide glass screen between them and whoever's inside. There were guards all around, two next to the entrance of the isolation room and one on the inside, all bolted up like ramrods. Everything made it feel like a visit to the prison. After leaving a short and brief "well I do have other things to deal with", Nanu patted him on the shoulders and left. He panicked for a second but swallowed back the plea of "stay with me" and counted every one of Nanu's steps that echoed down the hall.
Then the door on the inside slid open, and he saw Anabel. The girl was being helped onto the recliner in front of the reception glass. Her face was still rather pale, even a night worth of sleep wasn't enough to tint her cheeks with rose. The sleeves of the oversized patient gown dangled from her emaciated arms.
He wasn't ready to look her straight in the eye, so he tried to focus on her hands instead without making it too obvious. Her fingers were slender and frail, there was no muscle tone or fat and her skin was the only fine layer over the polished white bones underneath.
Zooming in. There were distinct needle marks on the back of her hands, it almost felt like holes burnt through her paper skin and drilled down to her glass bones. Whether it was from intravenous infusion, or from blood sampling, it was sure hard on her. He also had no idea what happened to her before and after Shaun left, he only hoped that they were at least gentle.
Looker shook his head, took a deep breath, and forged the widest grin he was capable of.
"Good morning, young lady! At least this time I made sure that I didn't make the same mistake."
The girl tilted her head a little, looking puzzled.
"Well, umm…" His hands were talking way before his lips teeth and tongue, gesticulating rather hastily. "Remember how I was like 'good morning young lady~' when you woke up on the beach yesterday? It was actually in the afternoon, probably around 3 to 4, so I made a fool of myself back then, har har…"
The girl didn't speak, lips pursed, brows knitted, looking even more so puzzled and… not amused in the slightest.
"E, ehem," upon noticing his failure at humor, he coughed deliberately to break the awkward silence. "Well I suppose you might not remember me, so I guess I'll have to introduce myself again…"
"Officer 100KR."
The girl's voice was a lot cooler than that he remembered. It probably would've been this way without the tremors. "I may have forgotten a lot about myself, but I do remember you."
His grin probably grew wider, exposing his bare teeth. "Oh my! It seems that your memory is in good shape! I guarantee that you'll start remembering things about yourself in no time! Don't you worry!"
Anabel stared at him like if she just heard the Onix and Cloyster joke for the first time.
"… Officer 100KR, we just met yesterday."
"… That, that is correct. But I'm still glad that you remember that!" He let out a rather dry laugh and scratched his head. "You're probably wanting for me to cut to the chase and cut all this small talk so… how are you?"
"I am well, thank you."
"What did the nurses say?"
"They said that I am not injured, but my body is in an unstable state and that I should avoid moving around much."
"Oh, phew, but I guess you should do as they say. What did Shaun —he's the one with the afro looking hair— what did he say?"
"I don't recall meeting such a person… judging by what you said about him, he would've made an impression."
"Yup! You rarely see a guy with his kinda hair anymore, but the secret is that's just his natural morning hair! I know, quite absurd right?" His fingers wiggled around his hair, making a comical attempt at shaping Shaun's puffy looking hair. "Oh and we were roommates for quite a while when we were in training, I had to comb his hair myself this one day because I can't stand that mess, man it took me like half a day..… "
"Please stop, Officer 100KR."
This was the second time that Anabel chimed in.
"Huh? Stop? Oh do you want me to cut the chatter after all alright I'll zip it and—"
"Please stop trying so hard to make me laugh, especially when you're not in the mood for it."
He unconsciously swallowed. Cold sweat ran off his forehead like condensation on a winter glass. He knew that he was being deliberate with the jokes but to think that his cover would be blown in less than 3 minutes. "… How could you be so sure? We've known each other for like what, a day?"
He locked eyes with her as if to prove a point, yet the moment he looked into them he was absorbed into the world that exists within the fields of lilac.
Her eyes were as calm as the gloaming skies after a tempest has erupted, with wisps of clouds strolling through, no longer carrying rain or ushering storm.
"That's what your heart told me."
…That's what my heart told her?
His cheeks hurt from forcing that grin for so long. The corners of his lips fought to fall down and finally gave in; his mouth lied flat in a thin, morbid line.
"I don't know what happened to you… but at least, this act is not getting us anywhere." Something in her eyes didn't look her age. It was too calm. It was only something that an elder would have. "You've asked your questions earlier, it's my turn now. If something happened, please tell me."
His facade crumbled into real grimace.
"… I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"… Everything." There was no better way to put it.
"… Why exactly?"
He leaned in on the receiver and lowered his voice to his absolute rock bottom. "Miss Anabel. Aren't you questioning in the slightest, why are you being kept here?"
"Not exactly. I'd have to wait a while for my body to recover from this state. I am feeling relatively weak at the moment, the nurses are right."
"Other than that, don't you think that the explanation they give you is the tiniest suspicious?"
"Suspicious? Why would it be?"
"Do you have the faintest guess at what their ulterior motive is? Do you think you are merely a patient or a lost child to them? Do you know what you are to them?"
"… What's wrong, Officer 100KR?" Anabel blinked in unease as she sensed the gradual sharpening of his questions.
"… What if I tell you that, you have every reason to blame me?"
"Officer 100KR, now you're being ridiculous. How could I blame you in the slightest? I haven't even thanked you enough for saving my life earlier."
Oh God. She still believes in him. She still believes in them. She still believes that they are her savior. She still believes that the IPA is on her side. She still believes that they will bring her back home, back to Hoenn eventually.
OH HELL NO.
He slammed his hands against the glass with the force enough to shatter the barrier. That gave Anabel quite a fright, eyes widening, also earning him a scolding from the nurse on duty.
Stop sounding like you've known it all, you don't have the faintest idea of what you've gotten yourself into! He wanted to get it all off his chest, it was pounding like a roaring thunder in his eardrums, a burning ball of heat resides in his atrium searing at his atrial wall. You know nothing about these people, what they've done and what they're going to do to you. You have no idea about your tragic demise that was settled the moment you got into their hands. You have no idea what I've done to you.
He wanted to tell her everything. Everything that the IPA will kill to hide from her. Everything that she has the right to know.
He didn't.
It was just too dark and too ugly for this unworldly girl.
His hand slid down the glass slowly in defeat, trails of sweat misted over of the glass screen, combined with his heavy breathing.
"… I'm sorry. Please forget what I've said. I'm talking nonsense. I really am." Looking down at his feet, he heard his own voice choking but he felt no tears. "I don't know what to say. What can I say? I really don't know anymore."
She lowered her gaze as well, eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly. As if trying to calm the wounded beast in him, she reached forward and pressed her fingertips against his own, gently but firmly.
They weren't touching, but for a split second the glass felt so thin that it was nonexistent. It may have melted from the soothing warmth coming from her petite hand. He didn't deserve this warmth, he knew it, and yet he allowed the wounded beast in him to be stroked by her soft, mollifying fingers.
"Then don't. Don't say anything."
And yet another few days passed as Looker continued to live on as a member of the walking dead.
He wasn't exactly a living corpse or anything, but he felt like he had lost his ability to feel.
He had seen, known and lost just a bit too much over these few days.
He visited Anabel on a daily basis, and making his best attempt to avoid Shaun on the way. He didn't know what to say to her as usual, so he merely asked her dry questions about the recovery of her body and her memory. So far, apart from her name and Hoenn, she was able to recall that she "protected a tower" and "was a considerably competent trainer" of some sort.
Still far off from completing the big picture, and insufficient for him to carry out a search. But a few days ago he had an investigation planned out in the back of his head on his way back to the HQ: Starting with all case files of missing children reported in Hoenn, search for matching names and features, file a missing person report for her, contact the Hoenn branch of IPA, possibilities of child abduction should not be overlooked as well…
But he knew that it'd be pointless now.
She wasn't supposed to exist in this world. It is only reasonable to assume that there is no lilac eyed Anabel Whateverherlastnameis the tower protector in the Hoenn that he knew.
And even after that revoltingly fate-determining night, she acted as a bigger person than him. He was depressed, anyone would've known judging by that grim look on his face, like the world would end at any second; but out of all the people, she was the one to comfort him, the one telling him that it's all going to be ok. He didn't even have the guts to say it to her. It was making him sick of himself even more so.
On the way back, he overheard the conversation of some staff of the UB department. They were going to clear out Cathie's room in the dorm. Nothing of surprise, he knew that it would be done eventually. He stopped them and requested that he'd do the job himself— in memory of his perished partner that he's only met once. The staff were confused by his request but he insisted.
So there he was, standing outside of her room with the key card in his hand.
Cathie's room was by the corner, almost all on its own. She probably would've never known how close her room was to the UB department, and will never have the chance to know. He shook that thought off his mind and pushed the card inside the keycard lock.
The door buzzed open.
Cathie's room was no larger than a singles hotel room. He didn't know how long she had been living in this room but she sure made herself at home. Her comforter was pulled over her bed, even though she hadn't cleaned it for a few days. The result was lumps of varying sizes and shapes and the comforter was weighed down by her clothes and plush pillows scattered over it. A desk sat in one corner, littered with wadded up pieces of paper and pens.
There was a notebook that managed to grab his eye on her littered desktop. On the cover convoluted gold letters drew out the word 'Journal' and on the right hand corner a black sharpie printed in bubble letters 'property of Cathie'. The journal sat heavy in the palm of his hand. It wasn't a large or particularly thick, but his passed partner once lived inside it. She was gone but this was the window into her life.
Would he want to know? Would it be a violation to her memory to read it? Did the dead care for their privacy? He fingered the cover, tracing the bubble letters on the rough papery cover. But he needed the answers from someone else other than Shaun. He paid his respects by bowing to the journal in a rather comical fashion and flipped its cover over to the very first page.
"Thank you Miss Nurse for giving me a journal! It's been a few weeks since I was being hospitalized here at the IPA and I'm still rather feeble ( ´Д` ) The nurses are helping me with rehabilitation, the researcher guy who came a few days earlier said that I will need to regain my physical strength and mobility asap. He seemed rather serious and I don't know why. I don't really remember anything but I doubt that I was a fitness person back then… but no pain no gain ( *•̀ᴗ•́* )✧"
She was quite the emoji lover, if he ever texted her he would be bombarded by emojis, Looker thought as he flipped through another few pages. To his disappointment nothing much about her rehabilitation caught his eye, and he knew for sure that the UB department kept everything under their hats. He stopped at a random page after thumbing through.
"I was given my Pokemon partners, probably if I am to participate in any upcoming missions! That Ninetales though, SHE'S SUCH A BAE ((o(๑◡๑)o)) I never would've guessed so but SHE'S A MAMA! Her baby vulpix is the CUTEST THING ON EARTHHHH *･゜ﾟ･.:*･'(* ω ฺ* )'･*::･゜ﾟ･* I asked someone around what would be a good name and she said there's an older name for them, the elderly people in Alola call them "Keokeo"! But I think I'll name the baby Lilac just because this name is made for her! My heart is about to burst but who am I kidding it was blew up a few hours ago *:.。. o(≧ω≦)o .。.:*
So that's where her Pokemon came from. But there was no record of Pokemon combat training in her later entries. They only did train her up to the point of rehabilitation and all there is was for her to lure out the beast. That was all there is to it.
Flip.
"Keokeo acknowledged me as her new trainer quick enough, but baby Lilac was still a little tense around me (´･Д･)」But honestly the way that Lilac hides under Mama's tails is too cute I died for a second ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"
Flip.
"OOOOO GOD LILAC JUST LICKED THE BACK OF MY HAND BLESS THE LORD ( *´艸`*) I was rubbing her under the chin and I guess she liked it! And she allowed me to hold her on my lap OH GOD OH GOD I THINK DIED LIKE A MILLION TIMES ALREADY _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_⁄"
Now he remembered how Cathie just couldn't stop babbling about her shiny baby vulpix on the boat ride, it was giving cramps to his ears. She said that they took hundreds of kissy photos back at her room, he had a gut feeling that he's going to run into one glued into of her entry. Flip.
"Awwwww Lilac is such a sweet girl (❁´▽`❁) When I woke up today I saw her and her Mama…"
Flip.
" (。▰‿‿▰｡) ❤ Today baby Lilac learned to…"
Yeah she's just not gonna stop. He saw it coming.
Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.
"Today is gonna be my IPA mission debut! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)✧ God I can't sleep that's why I'm writing this entry at 1 in the morning! Keokeo and Lilac are both asleep I had to be extra quiet :3 The officers told me that it will be an investigation of an unknown Pokemon, I hope that I'll be able to help out with my utmost ability! I'll be meeting up with my partners tomorrow and honestly this feels bomb! It just sucks that Lilac is too young to be on a mission… I am totally rooting for her to be a future super agent! What will Lilac be like when she evolves like her Mama I can't wait for the day to come (*・∀・)ノ゛ "
Flip.
And after that came a crisped white blank page.
He blinked hard at it, then a rather brutal realization struck him that this was her very last journal entry before her demise. It held him in a trance for a while; while reading through the entries he could almost see her in this room, on her cluttered bed grooming Lilac's fur, on this littered desk writing every entry with an almost silly looking beam.
He took the journal and placed it carefully in a layer of his bag. After clearing out her belongings he would bury it in place of her. Having that thought in mind, he opened up the curtains that hung in dusty, uneven folds, and heard startled squeaking coming from the bottom right hand corner of the folds.
A little head of cloudy lilac fluff popped out from the back of the side panel, those frightened purple orb-like eyes were gazing at him fixedly.
So this must be Lilac. He immediately recognized the little vulpix. It'd be impossible to forget about Lilac after reading through that journal, it was basically an observation logbook dedicated to her.
"Well hello, you must be Lilac." He bent down and reached out a hand to her, in an attempt of peace offering, "I've heard tons about you from Cathie. I'm 100kr, and I'm a… friend of Cathie's."
Lilac wasn't in any way reassured, and instead hid a larger portion of her head behind the panel folds, now only the large purple orbs are showing, the folds are shivering like wind rattled leaves. When he reached his hand closer in an attempt to pet the fluff on the top of her head, she yelped in panic and in response bit his index finger, probably straining every single muscle to do so. It stung for a little, it surprised him how frosty her bite was but it didn't hurt as much.
He understood it as an act of defending her territories, he was the intruder to their little cozy home after all.
The moment she leaped out from behind the curtains, she started scurrying around the room with short, high pitched yelps, her round eyes circling around the room from the roof to the bottom of the bed like a surveillance camera. She then stopped at his feet and let out another round of hasty yelps.
She was looking for Cathie.
Of course she was. Cathie hasn't returned for days.
He was certain that Lilac was asking him what happened to her trainer, her dearest friend and her mother figure. Was there a scent on him that was recognized as Cathie's? All he could remember was that mud like patch of blood on the shoulders of his overcoat, the stains were washed off already but he knew that it will always be there.
He couldn't remember how many times it was that he failed to give an answer.
So he didn't.
Lilac was too young to understand what happened to her trainer, she kept on yelping, probably on the verge of tears, probably thinking that Cathie had abandoned her to live the rest of her life in this little dorm room.
"She didn't abandon you, I promise."
He bent down and reached out a hand to stroke the fluff on her head. Lilac flinched again, yet this time didn't object by biting him. He continued stroking it, and started mumbling almost to himself, "Cathie is … sick. She wouldn't be able to take care of you for a while. And you might be unable to see her for quite a while."
He almost bit his tongue while he delivered this lie. All he had to do was to clear this room and lie to a baby Vulpix about the whereabouts of her trainer, and yet he knew that by the looks of it he was no different than a five year old lying about the missing pokebeans from the candy jar, the only difference was that he didn't chew on his fingernails or lips.
…When was it that he lost that basic ability to tell lies?
"I'm sorry, Lilac. I know that it isn't exactly what you want to hear from me."
Probably sensing the misery in the tone of his voice, Lilac reached for his hands and licked the index finger that she bit, her icy little tongue making its best attempt of skimming off the bite mark, also skimming off the nonexistent dust laid upon it. There was a soft glimmer in her lucid eyes, with an inkling of wistfulness. Somehow that reminded him of the girl, Anabel. They both share that tint of tender lilac in their eyes.
"But I happen to know another girl like you, that also left her family. Do you want me to take you to her?"
"Is that a… Vulpix?" Anabel squinted her eyes and leaned in, her face and hands glued to the glass screen as she examined the baby Vulpix from head to toe.
"Yup~! Right in front of your very eyes!" Looker's voice floated a bit like he's on cloud nine. After what felt like mountains of application papers he had to fill out followed by hours of thorough safety and hygiene inspection, Lilac had finally been approved to enter the isolation room. The feeling of accomplishment was unknown to him for the past week and now he's filled up with it from head to toe.
"But it's… white? And slightly purple? A shiny?"
"Well at least we know for sure that you're totally not from around here!" Looker's hands were dancing around way more than they used to, "I know what you're talking about, I've seen the fire vulpix from Kanto, but this baby is our own Alolan vulpix! And yes a shiny one too!" He fluffed the cloud of fluff on top of her head, disregarding Lilac's yelps of protest against him messing up her hair.
There was an affectionate glow on her face, her cheeks tinted faintly with pink. "She's lovely… what's her name?"
"May I present to you… little Lilac! Like the flower, like the color!"
"She has a name just right for her."
"Exactly! Oh and a fun fact the native elders here call them by an older name Keokeo!" He threw it in as a random trivia from Cathie's journal, but recalled soon after that the Keokeo he knew was deceased as well. "That doesn't really fit into the current context so just know that this is Lilac and remember Keokeo in the back of your head alright?"
Anabel nodded and hummed in response, but he doubt that she really kept her ears open for the trivia. This girl's eyes were glued to Lilac ever since she was brought into the reception room. "Where did she come from?"
"Well, Lilac used to be my partner's Pokemon, but… she…" there was a split second that he almost faltered and failed that half-lie, but he soon picked himself up and continued, "she couldn't take care of Lilac anymore. I thought that... you know... both of you needed the company."
It was getting unintentionally emotional and Looker decided to cut the sentiments right there. Anabel also looked like she couldn't afford to wait another second to get hands on with Lilac. "I'm gonna let her in ok?" He handed Lilac to the nurse for her to be delivered into the room. Lilac blinked, probably puzzled by her change of address again, but nevertheless behaved well and sat in the nurse's arms obeyingly. She was let onto the reception table where Anabel rested her arms, and he could tell that Anabel inhaled slightly more air than usual.
"Try touching her." Anabel did. She wasn't at all nervous or stiff around Lilac, she's a natural, maybe she was as competent of a trainer she said she used to be. Her soft fingers landed on the cloudy fluff and quickly withdrew them as she gasped from the icy sensation. "How is she so cold!"
"It'd be kinda bad if she's not! Ohhh I haven't told you yet, Lilac is an ice type!"
"That's insane! From what I remember…"
"The Kanto Vulpix is a fire type, warm and fuzzy, I know, I know~" Looker chuckled a little from the way she was hastily puffing on her fingers to warm it up. "But again, everything's different from Kanto or Hoenn so you better get used to that for a while! "
Lilac wasn't as mousy as she was when he encountered her at the corner of Cathie's room. She probably considered him an intruder back then, a colossal one too— he is considered tall for a man of his age. She started sniffing around the newcomer — this one isn't as humongous and intimidating, the icy tip of her little nose was giving Anabel ticklish giggles. After sensing that they share the same tint of lilac in their eyes and curls, Lilac licked the soft hand that was tickling her chin.
"I think she's gotten used to your presence, wanna try holding her?" Looker winked encouragingly, "she's light enough, give it a shot."
After stroking her for a few times and sensing no tension from Lilac's body, Anabel placed a hand under her belly, and the other under her hindquarters. Having made sure that Lilac was accepting of being picked up, she held the little Vulpix in front of her chest with almost overflowing adoration from her eyes.
Thumbs up from Looker as he gestured for her to continue with bonding. "See? You got the hang of it right away. Now try holding her on your lap!"
Anabel did, slowly and cautiously as if laying down a marked fragile object. Lilac wasn't used to being on such bony laps, her little paws stamping over Anabel's patient gown as she then tried to make her way up onto her shoulders.
"Good, good girl, Lilac, stay still… uhhh please don't try to climb on me it's making me feel uneasy….. Gahhhhhh!" What he saw left him dumbfounded for a few seconds, but immediately cracked him up into laughter — Lilac fell into her patient gown through the wide collar and started twiddling and twisting and bunny kicking, her little limbs jacking up the striped fabric from the inside— like a veiled game of Whac-a-Digglet.
Anabel was screaming, not in pain — a rather light-hearted scream, there is no such thing but he couldn't find a better way to put it. Lilac's tails were brushing across her chest and abdomen and she was tickled pink. On the intervals of gasps for breaths she made her utmost attempt to hold and lift her out from the collar, yet it only triggered another round of violent scrambling and she was screaming even louder and almost rolling on the floor. He saw the guards that stood as straight as a ramrod twitched edgily and the nurse running up to her instantly, lifting her gown up to allow an exit pathway for Lilac.
There were wet patches made of Lilac's little icy paws in front of her chest, he looked away as the nurse helped her out of the chilled gown and wrapped her in a warm blanket. Anabel was shuddering from the after-chill even though Lilac had leaped out of her gown. Looker zipped his lips shut, worrying if the cold got to her body, his bundle of nerves felt on edge.
But upon taking a second look, he found, both out of astonishment and reassurance, that she was laughing. This time a whole blown laugh.
The laugh came from her like a newly sprung leak - it was timid at first, constantly stopping and restarting. She wasn't done just yet, he could tell from the way she rolled her lilac eyes to the ceiling and half bit her lip. And from inside her chest came a gradual quivering and this time the laughter came like the sounds of bright silver wind chimes. It was music to his ears.
The laugh was in her eyes, the windows to her soul, and in the way her face finally changed into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth.
"I love her. Thank you so much for bringing her to me."
Now that's the kind of thank you he wanted to hear from her. Not "I haven't thanked you enough for saving my life".
This is it.
The corners of his lips couldn't help themselves from raising up a cheery angle. The girl's laugh was contagious and heartening, it was like being bathed in sunshine, and he knew no one that would ever resist the sun's unconditional love.
At least he was capable of making good decisions from time to time. This one he wouldn't regret in the slightest.
That's what he told himself.