Chapter 20: Moving On
" I'm leaving", Nikki stated.
" You're what?", Mac replied, shocked.
" I'm leaving", Nikki repeated.
" Why?", Mac asked.
" Danny can't worry about me anymore, I need to find my own life", Nikki answered, calmly. Which was surprising because Nikki had been anything but calm for the past week and a half.
" You have your own life", Mac said.
" No, I don't. I need to find my own way, without Danny always on my back, worrying about me. I can't take it", Nikki hissed back, " I'm really sorry. Mood swings are killing me right now."
" Oh, ok. If you must leave, then go. It's ok", Mac replied after a few minutes.
" Are you sure? I mean, I can stay for a few more weeks, I guess", Nikki asked.
" No, it's fine. When do you leave?", Mac replied, looking back down at the paperwork he needed to fill out.
" In four days", Nikki answered, quietly.
" Wow, that soon", Mac replied.
" Yes. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I haven't had the chance, until now. I need to get away from here. Please don't tell anyone", Nikki begged.
" I won't. You do what you have to", Mac assured her.
" Thank you", Nikki replied, as she turned and left his office. Nikki thought about it for a little while, and then figured that four days was really soon. She had been trying to avoid Don as best as she could. Her victim was found to have died of natural causes. So, it closed. Since then, Nikki had too much time on her hands. Most of it, when she wasn't working, was spent packing.
The rest of her time was spent trying to avoid Flack, and most of the time, she did. Other times, unfortunately, she wasn't that lucky. Since that night, Flack had been a little more smiley. She loved him, but she was leaving, so there could never be anything between them. She knew that, but she didn't think about it, because it broke her heart. What was worse was that she was not going to tell him that she was leaving.
She sat at her desk and tried to decide what to do. No one knew that she was leaving, no one needed to know but Mac. He was the only person who needed to know. Of course, her parents knew, but that was a whole different subject. All she needed was to get away. She was staying at her friend's house in Virginia because she didn't know anyone else to turn to. That friend that she would be turning to was Aaron Hotchner.
Flack didn't need to know what was going on with Nikki. He already knew. She didn't want a relationship, she just wanted a good time. It would be a night he wasn't likely to forget anytime soon. Not that he wanted to forget it, because the night was perfect. She was perfect.
He wanted a relationship, but he knew she didn't. He was running out of ideas. Nikki was a beautiful person who was damaged one too many times. He would find a way to turn that around. He wanted her, he would fight for her, and win, one way or another.
There were so many cases to take. New York was a very busy place for crime. Murder was one thing that Mac couldn't get around. Stella was no closer to solving the case. Mindy Gordon was a very unfortunate girl. Danny was having personal problems, and Mac could understand that. Lindsay had pretty much changed since the birth.
Mac had thought that Lindsay would be a lot more sweeter, but instead, it was the complete opposite. Especially around Nikki. Mac knew that Nikki hadn't seen her niece, or else she wouldn't be leaving. Rose was the most beautiful little angel Mac had ever seen. It made Mac regret that he hadn't had kids with Claire.
Claire Conrad-Taylor had died too soon, much too young. Although he had never found her body, he knew that the possibility that she was alive was gone. She would've found him by now if that was the case. He wouldn't think of her though, it hurt every time he tried.
Nikki was a wonderful woman. Mac knew that she had suffered some hardships. He still didn't understand why she was leaving. There was no reason to leave. He didn't believe that it was because of Danny. He knew it was something else. He didn't know what, but he had a brief understanding. After what happened with Jeremy, he could understand why she was leaving. Jeremy could be the reason she's leaving. Maybe he should talk to her.
Danny was tired of yelling at Lindsay. He was just tired. She was being ridiculous. He knew it, and she knew it. Lindsay was going to get over this thing with Nikki, because Danny was tired of not having his daughter shown to her aunt. She had seen her grandparents, the only person who hadn't seen her was Nikki, and Danny was getting really tired of it.
Lindsay had no right to be mad at Nikki, and he made that clear this morning. It was either, say sorry to Nikki and say that she was acting so stupid, or Danny was going to leave. He had made his choice, now it was Lindsay's turn. Of course, if Lindsay really loved Danny, she would say that she was sorry.
Lindsay cried and cried. Rose had been good and slept, which gave Lindsay some free time. Danny had looked really mad this morning, although Lindsay could hardly blame him. She would say that she was sorry to Nikki, if her marriage depended on it, and it did.
She knew that Danny was serious when he had said that he'd leave. She knew it, and he was right, she wasn't being fair. She would call Nikki and say that she was sorry. Right now, she needed to catch up on some sleep.
Nikki sat down after packing up more of her stuff. This time, it was the furniture being packed up. Aaron Hotchner was a good man, he had taken care of her on more than one occasion. She had learned that he had been asked to help in finding her when Jeremy had kidnapped her. She had called and thanked him of course.
She had remembered the first time she had met Hotch. She had first run away from Jeremy, five years ago. It was before she had went to Chicago. He had protected her until she found a place in Chicago, in which she had moved there, and then written to Danny. She had felt safe for the first time in quite a few years.
She felt bad for imposing on Hotch, although, with the cases, he usually wasn't around that much anyway, so he said that he didn't mind. He also that it would be good to have someone using the house. It really was a beautiful house. Haley had left, and he knew that she wasn't coming back.
Nikki felt very sad about leaving, but at the time, there was a feeling of relief swelling in her stomach. She didn't know why she would be relieved, it wasn't very good that she was leaving, at least for Flack. He would find someone else, though. It was only a one-night stand, or at least that's what Nikki kept telling herself.
Stella picked up her phone and dialled Nikki's number. Nikki picked up, " Hello."
" Hey, Nikki. It's me, Stella. I was just wondering, what are you doing right now?", Stella asked.
Nikki looked over at her stuff sitting on the tables, and said, " Nothing, why?"
" Did you wanna get a few drinks and talk about stuff?", Stella asked.
" Yes, sure. Anything to get out of this house", Nikki replied, " I'll meet you at Sullivan's in an hour." They both hung up and went to get ready.
Stella sat at a stool in Sullivan's waiting for Nikki. They both needed a free night. What Stella would call free was no guys, no work, just girls, gossip, talk, and relaxation.
When she finally seen Nikki coming through the crowd, she waved her over.
" Hey, sorry I'm late", Nikki apologized, " Damn traffic."
" It's fine. Catch any new cases lately?", Stella asked.
" Nope. You?", Nikki answered. She ordered a beer, and then took a swallow of it.
" Just trying to finish Mindy's case. Although, I'm still coming up blank on almost everything. She died of an allergic reaction. To what? God knows. And the scratches on her arm? Are a cat's. To whose, we haven't been able to find it yet. As far as I can tell, she died from an allergic reaction that has nothing to do with being murdered", Stella replied, taking a sip of her beer.
" You know, I never would've guessed you drank beer", Nikki mused.
" I do, when I'm stressed, or bored. I prefer a mixed cocktail, but beer just goes down faster", Stella replied.
" I can understand that", Nikki answered.
" Yep, so, have you heard anything around the office water cooler?", Stella joked.
" Not too much, surprisingly. Life is apparently just as boring for everyone else as it is us", Nikki answered.
After a few more hours of mindless chatter, Nikki headed home and so did Stella. Nikki dropped to the pillow and fell straight to sleep. Stella stayed awake most of the night and pondered everything she'd ever done.
A few days later, Nikki had everything packed and ready to go. She had filed a transfer to the Virginia Crime Lab, and would be working there. Nikki looked out the window in her apartment, and again, for the millionth time, wondered why she was leaving. There was some doubt in the reason about Danny.
Nikki had taken everything out of her locker at work, and cleared her desk. She looked around again at the room full of boxes. A moving truck would be there soon, so she could pack her things in it and leave New York, for good. Of course, there would be the Christmas, and Thanksgiving visit, but other than that, she would have no further contact with New York.
Don awoke to a cold sweat, and the feeling that something was wrong. With what? Flack had no idea. He got up and grabbed a glass of water, and then sat on the couch. His bedside clock had read, 6:00a.m. He still had an hour before he would've normally woken up. Clearly, it wasn't going to be a normal day if the feeling in his stomach was anything to go by.
Of course, his stomach was also growling ferociously. He got up and made some toast. As he ate in silence, he started to wake up. He was glad that he didn't remember any of his dreams, because he had seen many things that could give him nightmares. Whatever he was feeling in his stomach wasn't going away, and that could be a bad thing, or he could just be getting paranoid.
In Flack's line of work, it left him home late at night's, or not at all. It was dangerous. Which was shown when he was blown up over two years ago. He had almost died in that experience, which showed that it was very dangerous for a detective. At times, he resented being a cop, but he'd saved so many lives, that he just shook off that feeling now.
Flack loved chasing the guys, just for exercise. It was something to do. He loved the thrill of a chase, it was a feeling unlike anything else. Although, that feeling could get a person into a dangerous situation. Flack had seen many of his buddies hurt or even killed in the line of duty. And then there was the scumbag cops like Dean Truby, who had broken their oath to protect and serve. Truby had gotten what he deserved, as much as Don hated being a part of the reason he was arrested in the first place.
Being in love had made Flack think about everything that he had done over his years. Nikki was a special woman, one who probably thought she was damaged goods right now. Flack didn't care that she was raped, well he cared, more than anyone could ever know, but he loved her because she had the courage and strength to fight back. Ever since he met Nikki, he had seen that strength and courage, she had also been the first woman to make him think about settling down.
He had experienced feelings he never even thought existed, and he seen the world in a whole new perspective. He longed to hold her in his arms again. She was warm, and soft. She fit perfectly against his body, like a puzzle piece that was finally connected to the right piece.
Nikki took another long look around the apartment to make sure everything was packed and she hadn't forgotten something. She had horribly painful knots in her stomach, and she started feeling scared. She couldn't back down now, though. She took her apartment door, took another long look around the room, and locked the door behind her.
As she got in her car, she looked up at the apartment, and felt despair run through her at what she was leaving behind. She started up her car, put it into Drive, and then left New York behind her.