"This is not going to work. This is not going to work. This is not going to work!" Orochimaru shouted as his knees buckled on the door they were using to slide down the giant sand dune. His eyes widened at the large rocks reaching up through the golden sparkling sand, coming into view.

On his back, Tsunade said loudly, "Angle your body!"

"Hime, I'm carrying you on my back and Jiraiya in my arms, along with 3 packs. I can't even move my neck!" Orochimaru retorted.

"I got it!" Jiraiya whipped out a kunai with an explosive seal and threw it at the rocks. A massive explosion blew them all to pieces and all three of them coughed as they rushed through the black smoke. Jiraiya snorted as he saw his friends' soot covered faces. "You two look funny."

"Take a look at yourself too pervy no brain," Tsunade said as she stuck her tongue out at him.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes before returning his focus to his sandboarding. It actually wasn't too hard after awhile. If he applied pressure correctly or tilted forward, he found that he could actually control the thing almost decently. As they sped down the beautiful glittering sand dune, he found himself smiling slightly. The wind rushing past them was warm and fresh, the sun was a brilliant gem in the blue sky and he had to admit, it was kind of fun. Another drop loomed into view and he braced his knees. "Hold on."

Tsunade yelped in glee as they zipped past a sloping jump and flew through the air. She hugged Orochimaru's neck tightly, enjoying the experience with immense delight. "Do something else Orochi!"

"Fine."

She cheered when he put more pressure on the back of his heel and instead of going in a straight line, they now went from side to side. Jiraiya grinned as he held out a hand to the sand being sprayed out from beneath their door board and rained down on their heads, glittering like gold dust. But then...

"HOLY SAGE OF TOADS!" Jiraiya screamed and pointed to a person laying in the sand before them. It seemed like a woman who was either in her early thirties or late twenties. Half of her short lilac hair was down and the rest was pulled up into a small bun on the top of her head. She wore a Sand forehead protector and for her outfit, she wore a long dark robe that covered her entire body, with a light purple scarf style collar.

Beside her was a concerned man who was shaking her, wearing the exact same outfit except his collar was light blue.

"Chiyo? Chiyo? Are you dead?" asked the man, scratching at his turban covered head. He nearly jumped as she sat up in a flash and laughed.

"Haha! Got you again Ebizo!" Chiyo adjusted the half bun on her head and said calmly, "As if I could die from a heatstroke."

"STARS ALMIGHTY!" Ebizo pointed to the three kids zooming straight for them on some kind of wooden board.

"DO SOMETHING SMARTASS!"

"STOP PULLING ON MY HAIR IDIOT!"

"WE'RE GOING TO HIT THEM OROCHI!"

With everything he got, he pushed his chakra to his feet and sent them flying off the board. It shot out from under their feet and they flew through the air, narrowly missing a bunch of cacti as they rolled unceremoniously to a stop on top of each other, with Tsunade on the bottom, him in the middle and Jiraiya on top. The board that was still flying, however, struck Ebizo in the gut and knocked him backwards into the sand.

"Ebizo!" Chiyo rushed over to her brother as the three kids groaned and struggled to untangle their limbs from each other.

"You bit me again!" cried Jiraiya, cradling his elbow.

"You nearly knocked out one of my teeth," Orochimaru said as he clutched at his mouth.

Tsunade brushed the sand off her outfit and shouted, "You both squashed me! Now I'll be flat forever!"

The three jumped when the woman stormed over to them. "You morons knocked out my brother! Who the hell goes sandboarding in a freaking desert in the first place?!"

Tsunade snapped back at being called a moron. "We already tried to miss you guys. It's your brother's fault for not ducking a giant door, you old hag!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD HAG!"

"You must be blind too, old hag!" Tsunade stuck her tongue out. "Now if you'll excuse us we need to get to Suna to deliver a very important scroll."

Chiyo paused. "You three... are the ones from the Leaf?" She crossed her arms and said haughtily, "No wonder it took so long that I had to get sent out here to fetch you. Konohagakure must be lacking in manpower if they're sending some little brats out on such an important mission."

Orochimaru held out a hand to silence Tsunade before she could yell. "We were ambushed and had to take a detour." He said lightly, "For our beloved allies, we did our best to protect your appeasement gift. I'm certain the Kazekage will understand, especially since we've brought him something extra."

At this, both Jiraiya and Tsunade looked over at him questioningly. What was he talking about when he mentioned extra?

Chiyo scoffed. "Good to see that at least some brats from the Leaf have some brains. If you want to preserve this alliance, you should put in the effort."

"It's not like our village is dependent on yours!" Jiraiya said angrily, mad at her for implying that their village was desperate for this alliance.

"Jiraiya," Orochimaru cut in calmly. When Jiraiya stood down, he said to Tsunade, "Heal that man, hime. Then we can be on our way and return home faster. This desert and land have nothing worthwhile to see anyways."

Tsunade and Jiraiya both snickered at the look on Chiyo's face at his underhanded insult. "Oki," said Tsunade, skipping over to the man.

Chiyo bit on her lips and eyed the pale boy with strange yellow eyes warily. Something about that boy... did not seem right. In fact, there was something sinister about the way he was smiling behind his long black hair. Whatever this 'extra' thing was that he mentioned, was probably not good.

Tsunade couldn't help but feel uneasy as she entered the Kazekage's office with her teammates. The room was spacious, with some large cacti in pots to serve as decoration. Some of them even had blooming pink flowers, adding a sweet and delicate scent to the air. The room was circular in nature, with the Kazekage's desk at the forefront and on top of a rich burgundy rug, patterned with golden stitching. Two small windows behind his chair let in a steady stream of sunlight. As they came to a stop before the desk, she took in his appearance. He was a good-looking young man with dark blue and stylishly spiked hair and very sculpted face. He wore a clean and wrinkle free blue and white robe that was also similar in style to Chiyo and Ebizo and his narrow eyes were yellow in color.

A gentle nudge sent her and Jiraiya's way, made them realize that they were staring in a rather rude manner and they quickly followed after Orochimaru as he made a polite half-bow. "We are honored, Lord Kazekage," Orochimaru said in a practiced tone.

"I am glad that the Hokage's own students made it safely through my harsh desert," the Kazekage said in a manner that showed zero sincerity and only spoken out of etiquette. He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together, critically looking them over. "It would seem that the other group from your village did their job well in diverting attention from you, considering you three seem to be in fine shape." He held out a hand. "The scroll is safe, I presume?"

Tsunade hastily reached into her side bag and pulled out the locked scroll. But she was surprised when Orochimaru held out a hand to stop her.

"What is the meaning of this?" Chiyo asked, standing beside the Lord Kazekage, whose own eyes were narrowed.

"What happened to the Leaf's Jonins?" Orochimaru asked quietly, his expression unreadable.

"All dead or missing, except for two who are currently recovering at our hospital," answered the Kazekage.

Orochimaru folded his hands behind his back and said quietly, "No captured enemies to answer for this? Or any hint to who is responsible for trying to sabotage our alliance?"

Chiyo rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't that be something to reflect on your Jonins' incompetence?"

Tsunade bristled with anger. How dare that old hag mock the sacrifices and efforts made by the people of their village. Jiraiya too was rigid with rage.

"Actually no. It reflects on your village's lack of security and control." All eyes were immediately on Orochimaru as he said that.

This time, it was Ebizo who spoke up. "You would outright insult your allies like this, in the presence of the Kazekage himself?"

Orochimaru ignored him and pressed on. "I've had to take down nearly a dozen attackers and then crawl through a lost ruin with my friends to get here. My tolerance for social graces is low, especially when my village is suggested to be lacking." He gestured to the window. "I've captured and kept one of my pursuers alive. Shall I summon her here to demonstrate whose fault this truly was?"

The Kazekage rested his chin on his laced fingers and said lowly, "You are suggesting that my village and people are responsible for the attacks and for trying to sabotage this alliance, child. This means you are suggesting that I myself, have a hand in this. You'd better have solid proof, otherwise,there will be dire consequences, even if the Hokage is your teacher."

"I would never blame you, Lord Kazekage," Orochimaru replied. "I do blame your ninjas who aren't doing a very good job of keeping order for you." He bit his thumb and swiped it across his palm. "Manda." Slamming his palm down on the ground, his purple snake appeared in a flash of smoke, making Chiyo and Ebizo tense and ready themselves to go on the offensive.

The snake flicked out its forked tongue a few times before saying, "About time. I don't think she'd last much longer, Orochimaru."

"I got sidetracked in a lost and ancient tomb." Orochimaru jerked his head at the ground. "Spit her out and leave, Manda. I'll feed you when I get back to my village."

Manda opened its jaws wide open and slowly, the body of a girl with blonde hair emerged and slid out, covered in raw and open sores, with her black outfit ripped and burnt off in several places. Tsunade said, "Those are acid burns. She was inside Manda's stomach but she wasn't stored safely."

"There is no need to safely store an enemy," Orochimaru said tonelessly as Manda disappeared. He readied a hand seal and his eyes darkened. "Awake."

The girl curled inward and whimpered, cradling her stomach. "Please... please stop, it hurts."

Orochimaru lowered his hand and said, "Lift your head and speak to the Kazekage. Tell him what you told me. Or would you like me to continue?"

"Kill me," sobbed the girl. "Just kill me. Please, I can't do it myself-" She screamed when Orochimaru made the same hand seal with one hand and curled into a fetal position.

"This pain can be stretched over a long period of time, and I have no empathy towards those trying to stir up a war. Speak now, or I will triple this pain."

She thrashed on the rug and gripped it with white hands. "Lord... Kazekage... we only wanted... to help the village. This alliance does not benefit... us." She struggled to sit up. "The land given to us by the Leaf from the first Kage Summit is fertile... but it's become a battleground by both villages... We have suffered through five years of drought... and Konoha never sends aid. Our last joint mission ended up with all of our... own ninjas dead while they got away with scratches. Every year, their power grows and we stagnate. This doesn't have to be." She doubled over in pain when Orochimaru snapped his finger.

"Get on with it," he said impatiently.

With tears of pain streaming from her eyes, she choked out, "We tried to ruin this mission. If it fails, the other villages will doubt Konoha's sincerity and give us an opening. This is a lie of an alliance and is only holding our people back from a better future. We have Shukaku! We can win and take what they selfishly will not share-"

The three watched as she dropped backward, dead with a senbon between her eyes.

Chiyo lowered her hand. "A traitor. She deserves no mercy."

Orochimaru smirked, knowing she had killed the girl to hide any further information that could be leaked and to protect any others that may be involved. It was obvious that the girl was not capable of resisting his torture and would spill everything. He definitely would have to research on whoever this 'Shukaku' was later. But it was quite unfortunate that they were alittle late in trying to salvage precious information. After all, he liked being prepared. Silkily, he said, "Agreed. To disrupt the peace of the Shinobi World is inexcusable. My teacher and Kage of the Leaf will trust with absolute confidence that Lord Kazekage will eliminate the rest of these traitors."

The Kazekage's lips were thin as he said, "You know where the rest are then, child?"

"Of course. I had a talk with her before." He reached out and took the scroll from Tsunade's hand and reached into his own sleeve for a map. "I've marked their location on here. She said around fifty names, so we shall be expecting fifty names."

Looking at the scroll and map, the Third Kazekage said, "Tell me, how did you manage to torture such information out of her. She clearly was ready to even die to try and stop herself."

Orochimaru stepped back and gestured to the body. Slowly, a snake emerged from her mouth and crawled away towards one of the cabinets. "If she tries to kill herself, the snake would paralyze her with its poison. Death was never an option. As for the pain, I can control the rate at which my snake would nip at her insides. There is few who would not speak the truth."

"You have talent, and the ruthlessness needed to survive in the Shinobi World," noted the Kazekage. "The Hokage is lucky to have you as a student."

Shaking his head, Orochimaru replied, "On the contrary, my lord Kazekage, I was lucky to have him as my teacher. I learned to love my village under him."

The Kazekage gave a curt nod. "It is from love that hate originated from. Loyalty to one's village is heavy burden at times." He waved them off. "We are done here. I am sure you'll have a safe journey back this time..." Once the door closed, he said, "Lady Chiyo, dissect that body and analyze it. Ebizo, gather a team and go to the location marked on the map."

"My lord," protested Ebizo. "Surely we won't turn on our own. They were only trying to do what was best."

"They almost ruined everything," he sighed, running a hand through his dark blue hair. "They will be punished but I won't kill them. Use our condemned prisoners and jailed enemies. They will be the scapegoats. This village can not lose any more good men or women. We are already dropping in military power."

When they left and walked down the long hallway, Jiraiya said in a pissed off tone, "Tell me my stomach wound and blood loss was making me hallucinate. But did you really just shove a snake into a girl's stomach and had it eat her from the inside!"

"Jiraiya," Orochimaru said with a steel edge to his voice. "I will say this once and once only. So listen closely and remember it well." His hands by his sides clenched into fists, the knuckles cracking. "I will do whatever it takes and sacrifice as many people as needed to prevent a war. If the death of one, ten, or a hundred can prevent a war that will result in the thousands of people dying, then so be it."

"A wrong does not make a right," argued Jiraiya.

"Then tell that to the interrogation squad back at our village," Orochimaru snapped back. "Tell that to the Anbu who carry out assassinations. We are ninjas of Konohakagure. Our duty is to protect the village and that will involve blood, tears, and force."

Jiraiya shook his head. "When people like you say things like 'It's for the greater good', good people die."

At this, Orochimaru laughed; hollowed and bitter. "Good people die every day, Jiraiya. More will die when it's war"

Tsunade spoke up softly. "Orochimaru, what is happening?"

He said solemnly, "Peace is crumbling. The economic disparity is becoming obvious and to counter that, soon, there will be territory dispute." He asked, "Tsunade, how does a village make money?"

"By taking on missions and expanding territory. The more territory occupied, the faster industries grow and raw materials are obtained. With more wealth and power, the village gets stronger and is capable of handling more dangerous missions with higher pay," she answered.

"Exactly." He came to a stop and peered out of the window, looking at the poor and dust bitten village below them. "Every village takes care of their own. Suna is poor, but that is not our problem and they do not trust us enough to ask for aid, thinking we'll use it to get back at them. So, they and the other villages who aren't as prosperous as ours will start to grow bitter and envy us. They will either have to find some way to technologically innovate to make money... or the simpler way is to go to war." He lowered his voice. "I lost enough in the first war. I refuse to see a second war happen."

Jiraiya and Tsunade both shared a look before coming closer to him, their hearts heavy about his ominous words and the future waiting for them. Jiraiya started, "Before, I might have hated you for what you've done. I still don't like it, but I can understand why now. This world needs to get better, so people like you can stop being a snake to protect us all."

Orochimaru sighed as he looked away from the window. "The world will change... or it will end before it does. But people fear change and many will fight against it. All we can do is watch for now."

Four years later...

Orochimaru began to specialize in assassination techniques and poison. Along with his vast knowledge of techniques, he was a nightmare on the battlefield. Those who weren't fell by poison or a strike from the shadows had to deal with elemental attacks of all types. When he wasn't honing his skills as a ninja, he would spend his time doing research. Whatever it was he was researching, no one really knew but he spent alot of time at Tsunade's mansion to talk to her grandmother. Tsunade didn't really mind, as she was just happy to have him over for dinner and sleepovers so often.

Jiraiya, on the other hand, found great pleasure in infiltration and intelligence gathering, and he was surprisingly very good at it as well. He relished in the fact that he could strike from within and hit a single weak spot, to avoid full on frontal battles that would result in more deaths on either side. He was also proud of the fact that with just some infiltration and data gathering, he could take down enemies through blackmail and bribery, instead of resorting to violence. As his skills grew, so did his boldness and skills at hiding and cloaking himself to peek at girls in hot springs. Every hot spring within miles of Konohagakure now banned him from its premises. Of course, that has never stopped him from 'data gathering'.

Last but not least, Tsunade, through strict training and under the guidance of her grandmother, was fast becoming one of the best medical ninjas of the village. Motivated to be a great healer like her grandfather and to protect the village and her friends, she grew at a rapid rate and could mend broken bones in a matter of minutes. But as a medic, she had to be in the back and this frustrated her to no end. Wanting to be on the front line with her friends as well, she began working on evasion whenever she had spare time.

The three of them did well in accomplishing all of their missions during these years. Their efficiency and ability to read and support one another made them the closest and the best team in Konohagakure. Hiruzen Sarutobi never separated them unless it was necessary. First, for something that was working so well, there was no reason to break it. Secondly, Orochimaru hated to work with anyone besides his teammates and Sakumo Hatake. Everyone else annoyed him as he would repeatedly emphasize in his reports that he was 'babysitting' them. He made almost two dozen girls and men cry. Thirdly, Sarutobi was sick of getting complaints about Jiraiya perving on the girls on missions. Jiraiya also had a knack for making other guys realizing their inner pervertedness and desire for pranks. In short, he was a terrible influence on any team he was put on except for the one with Orochimaru and Tsunade. One of the most well-behaved team in the village, after one mission with Jiraiya, ended up becoming master pranksters and the village ended up having to go into a state of emergency when somehow, they unleashed ten bee bombs.

Lastly, Tsunade was extremely vain and was still miffed about being flat. So she hated to be on any team with other girls. She would whine and complain every single time, and slam the door on the way out. After ten broken doors, he stopped putting her on any team with other girls. Alittle similar to Orochimaru, she didn't care much for any other guy she was put with either. They weren't as smart as Orochi,or they're not as funny as Jiraiya, she would say. They're also not as strong as her, she would also emphasize. This ended up making the rest of the male ninjas that escaped from being put with Orochimaru for missions, start questioning their manliness. The therapists and motivational councilors made a fortune because of Tsunade and Orochimaru.

Sarutobi leaned back in his purple chair and tapped on his crystal ball. He was proud of them being the best and most efficient team in the village, even if they were considered to be a bit wacky. Jiraiya, the one with a golden heart and renowned as a super pervert. Tsunade, the one blessed with super strength, a clever mind, but unlucky with gambling and a princess attitude. Orochimaru, the genius who hides his fragile heart under a cold mask and icy smile. Even after all these years, Orochimaru still took a day off of every month to visit his parents grave. Now, his student even made sure to spend time on that same day to come to his office to drink tea or talk with him.

But still, many villagers feared his skills and ruthlessness in accomplishing his missions, not understanding that Orochimaru valued the well-being of the village so much, that he couldn't afford to concern himself with the virtue of his actions. Sarutobi knew that in a way, the only reason why Orochimaru cared about the village was because of his teammates and because his very teacher and father figure was Hokage. He was just saddened that no one else besides his other students and he knew that Orochimaru didn't mind being a snake to protect Konoha. Leaning forward, he waved a hand over his crystal ball to see what his favourite student, and the one he saw as his own son, was doing.

"You're going to be wearing earrings?!" Jiraiya exclaimed, holding up tomoe-shaped earrings, made out of pure azurite.

Sitting at his kotatsu table in his bedroom, Orochimaru scowled and snatched them back. "What about it?"

"Aren't earrings only supposed to be worn by girls?" asked Jiraiya, leaning back on the slim table resting on the right wall, containing Orochimaru's snake sculptures and picture frames of his parents and their team. After all these years, the room was still the same. A wall scroll depicting a white lily and a white snake coiled around it still served as the only art piece in the room and the tatami mats in his bedroom were still clean. The only difference was that Orochimaru's bookshelf on the left held more scrolls and books than before.

Every other part of the house was pretty much the same as well. The walls were still a creamy sand color, that sorta reminded him of coffee and cream. The lights were more orange and darker than normal light bulbs, more similar to candles than light produced by electricity, to produce that relaxing atmosphere as Orochimaru would call it. His floors of solid dark wood were well taken care of and still gleamed like it was new.

"Unless people are blind, it's quite obvious I am not a female," said Orochimaru, sipping his tea.

His shoji door slid open and Tsunade walked in with a metal basin of hot water and needles in the other hand. Her hair was still tied up its usual messy ponytail but now, she wore a white half shirt and daring short red skirt. All three of them still wore metal protective meshes underneath. Jiraiya wore an outfit that was very similar to his old one, but now with designed flames at the edge of his sleeves. As for Orochimaru, he forgoed his old white yukata for a long sleeved purple shirt and pants, since he was getting sick of people mistaking him for a girl.

"Orochi," she said, calling him by his old nickname as she placed down the water and needles. "You changed your entire outfit style since you were fed up with people mistaking you for a girl. Why are you going to start wearing earrings now?"

While Jiraiya cackled in the background, Orochimaru said, "Hime, even if I'm wearing earrings," he gestured to his body, "People can see that I have a masculine body."

Tsunade blushed slightly. He was right about that part. Though Jiraiya was more muscular and buffed while Orochimaru was more slender, there was no mistaking that toned, firm and lean body as anything else other than masculine. Tsunade returned to the previous subject as she moved the piercing needle back and forth over an open flame. "But why do you want to get your ears pierced to wear earrings?"

"They belonged to my parents. Once I am sixteen, I was supposed to be given them." He looked down at the polished earrings and rubbed his thumb over them.

She smiled, knowing how he felt as she also cared deeply about the necklace her grandfather passed on to her. As always, she was touched by his deep love for his family. It was the biggest reason why he had caught her eyes when they were kids and why she wanted to befriend him, as she also loved and placed her family before everything else. Looking over, she could see that he still kept his family picture close to his futon. What was sweet was that he also had their team picture right beside it, when they were just six years old. Both picture frames shone and were polished, showing that he kept very good care of them.

"Alright, hold still Orochi." She wiped the needle with cleaning alcohol before moving to where he was sitting. He deftly took his long hair in hand, pulling it up and holding it back so she could reach his ears. Gently wiping it clean, she made Jiraiya pass her a marker to mark where the holes would go. Next, she laced his earrings into the piercing needle and began threading it through.

Jiraiya cringed and shivered, trying not to watch. "I hate needles."

"What a baby," Orochimaru said tonelessly, not showing any hint of pain as he stayed still. When she was done, he said, "Jiraiya, could you hold up the mirror for me?"

"What a girly guy," Jiraiya said, grinning as he grabbed a hand mirror and went over to his friend's side.

Orochimaru turned his head this way and that, admiring the delicate earrings that now hung from his ears. Slowly, he smiled. "It looks good. You have my gratitude, hime."

"Remember to keep it clean so it doesn't get infected," Tsunade instructed as she wiped away the blood on his ears and threw the towel into the basin.

"So," said Jiraiya, tossing aside the mirror. "Don't tell me you called us over just for some ear piercing, Oro."

Orochimaru smirked and swept aside his long black hair. "Of course not. I've been stuck writing our last ten mission reports. It's now yours or Tsunade's turn." When Jiraiya moped, he added, "If it's any comfort, I will make lunch. It's to thank Tsunade-hime for her help, and you can't write on an empty stomach."

"That's right. I ain't gonna write if you don't feed me," sang Jiraiya.

"I should probably make healthy brain food since you'll need it for writing the report, " Orochimaru said under his breath, walking out of his bedroom and down the hallway to his open kitchen that was beside the dining room, with its square table and chairs, and a vase of fresh blue and gold flowers to serve as decoration.

Tsunade looked over at Jiraiya and dumped the basin into his hands. "Go clean this in the bathroom and get your writing utensils out. I'm going to set the table."

"Yes yes princess," Jiraiya said as he walked down the hallway to access the bathroom.

She punched the air in delight and ran out to join Orochimaru in the kitchen. "Once I'm done setting the table, you need any help?" she asked, grabbing some plate and cups.

He smirked as he washed his hands in the sink. "You wish to use me for medical ninjutsu practice? I don't feel like suffering from food poisoning and I doubt Jiraiya would be able to write our mission report if he's puking his guts out."

Tsunade's cheeks swelled up with indignation. "I've gotten better! You won't believe what I can make now."

Orochimaru chuckled. "Oh, you are always full of surprises, hime. I have no doubt about that. But you are a woman who expects quality." He leaned in close and smiled. "So I think it's best if I cook."

Coyly, she batted her eyelashes and said flirtatiously, "I am aware of your many other fine qualities, Orochimaru." They've begun playful flirtations about a few months ago after she initiated the first step. He was confused at first but quickly caught on afterwards, and was delighted by the witty exchanges. She knew he only did it for amusement and not for serious intentions but she was certain that with time, he would realize that she truly liked him. But then again, he had been romantically challenged for the past eight years, so she wasn't so sure at times.

"I do adore compliments. You'll have to tell me of these other fine qualities sometimes, hime." He gave her a charming smirk as he pulled out a pink and frilly apron labeled 'Number One Housewife'. It had been a joke birthday gift that Jiraiya had given him last year. Contrary to being offended, he had been practical and took it in stride, since he needed a new one anyways.

As he tied it into a practiced ribbon behind his back, she asked, "So Orochi... you don't care if a woman is flat or big chested?"

"I don't quite care how big a woman's bosom is. If she will bear me stupid children then it's an absolute turn off," he replied, taking out a frying pan and moving to dig out stuff from his fridge.

She was relieved to hear that and she asked, "You know, we are sixteen now. Have you... ummm... had any interest in any girls? I know that you are becoming quite popular."

He nearly snorted. "Hime, the number of times I've rejected them all, has made me quite infamous, not popular. I'm quite certain by now, everyone in the village is scared of me." He poured in some oil and turned on the heat. When she seemed worried, he said, "Don't fret. It's better to be feared than loved. I find their scared expressions quite amusing."

Tsunade gave him a weak smile. "I'm not afraid of you. You know that, right?"

Orochimaru's eyes crinkled as he looked at her. "If you don't fear me, that means you love me, no?" He openly gave her a one arm hug, treasuring the one he considered to be his best friend.

"Maybe. You're not quite prince charming yet," she teased, returning the hug, pressing her face into his neck. As always, he smelled so nice. The smell of clean soap and fresh air clung to him like a second skin, making her envy the fact that he didn't sweat. "So you're not interested in anyone at the moment then?" she asked as he pulled away to return to cooking.

"Like you said, hime," he answered, taking out some eggs and cracking them into the sizzling pan. "They're all annoying and quite frankly, stupider than even Jiraiya. Every time I pass a group of them, it's pointless gossip, chit chat about make-up, how fat they are or someone's boyfriend is cheating on them. I don't care to spend my time in such company."

"So am I worth it?" Tsunade asked, forgetting about the fact that she was supposed to be setting the table.

Orochimaru openly laughed as he moved to chop up green pepper and onions, and dumped them into the frying pan. "I would pluck the moon out of the sky to spend time with you. You're the only woman in this village smart enough to provide me with stimulating conversations."

She felt butterflies flying around in her stomach and said demurely, "Pluck the moon out of the sky for me? Really? I don't believe you. And why not the sun?"

He grinned, showing a hint of sharp teeth. "Because I'm sure you'll throw a temper tantrum if something more radiant than you is present in the village."

"Oh, so you're calling me radiant?" Tsunade asked, enjoying the flirting.

"Maybe," he said slyly. "If it comforts you, you are easier on my eyes than the sun."

"Hahahahahahah!"

Orochimaru arched an eyebrow when he heard Jiraiya laughing like a maniac from his bathroom. Turning off his stove, he made his way over with Tsunade and he rapped his knuckles on the door. "What are you doing in there, idiot?"

Jiraiya opened it and continued cackling into his hand. "I-I hahahha! I just made your bathroom look nicer, Oro."

Tsunade watched as he shoved Jiraiya aside and went in to look. After a long silence, punctuated by Jiraiya's laughter, Orochimaru said dumbly, "I'm more shocked at the fact that you would carry this around just to stick it on my door."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about Oro," said Jiraiya, slapping his friend on the back. "After all, we're already at that age. I'm just trying to open your eyes and get you to see past your books."

"And you think I need to see this in front of my face when I'm on the toilet?" Orochimaru replied, arching an eyebrow.

Extremely curious now, Tsunade pushed into the tight bathroom and squeezed herself in between the two guys. Her eyeballs nearly popped out of her sockets as she stared at a curvaceous blonde woman with the biggest melons she's ever seen. Her hair was tied into two long ponytails and her pink lips pouting in a seductive manner, as she touched the strap of her white bikini. Grabbing the front of Jiraiya's outfit, she pulled him off his feet and began dragging him out of the house. She couldn't beat him up in there since she would risk damaging Orochimaru's property.

"He-hey! Tsunade! Wha-what did I do?!" Jiraiya dug his heels into the floor to try and resist.

"For corrupting Orochimaru's purity! I'll cut off your balls!"

"Are you kidding me?! He's not pure! He's just sexually stupid!"

Orochimaru threw a senbon at Jiraiya's butt, wringing a howl from his lips. "Just because I read scrolls and books on science and techniques instead of porn like you do, doesn't mean I'm 'sexually stupid', you idiot."

Tsunade kicked open the door and struggled to pull Jiriaya out of the safe zone. Seeing his impending death, the white hair teenager struggled even harder to get free. He bit onto Tsunade's hand before trying to scramble back into the house. "You're not getting away!" She grabbed onto his legs but somehow, she ended up pulling his pants off to reveal his red and green frog themed boxer. Falling onto her butt and holding onto his pants, she winced. "Owww!"

Leaning on the frame of his doorway, Orochimaru drawled, "Nice underwear, chosen of the frogs."

"Oh yea! Well look at your apron!" Jiraiya shot back.

"That you bought for me, idiot."

"I didn't think you'd be weird enough to wear it, number one housewife!"

With all the loud noises they had been making, they had attracted the attention of his neighbors, who were laughing quietly behind their hands. Orochimaru looked up as a messenger hawk flew over and he held out an arm to it. Taking the message, he read it and said, "We're being summoned by sensei."

"But it's our day off," whined Tsunade.

"Give me back my pants so we can go," Jiraiya grumbled as he stood up.

"Catch me if you can!"

Orochimaru chuckled as he watched Tsunade leaping onto the roof and dashing off, with Jiraiya madly chasing after her. To the hawk, he said, "We'll be there soon." He let it take off and he headed back inside to take off his apron before going after his teammates.

Darkwings13:

-In ep 152 of Naruto Shipuuden, Jiraiya's specialities was infiltration and intelligence gathering according to Kakashi.

- During the First Kage Summit, the First Hokage gave Suna a plot of fertile land near Konohagakure to farm on. The ownership of the land caused many battles between the two villages, according to Gaara Hiden. It makes sense actually. Sometimes, Hashirama should have been more realistic and realized that the people from the Leaf already living on that land, for god knows how long, would be pissed off and not happy about letting other people take it from them, especially those they probably consider enemies from previous battles.

- The Second Shinobi War was said to have been caused due to economic disparity. In a way, it's similar to when how the great poverty Germany experienced from World War I, caused them to take actions that resulted in World War II

-There is a 19 years age difference with Chiyo and the Sannin. When they're twelve, she is 31.

-I would like to think that at one point in his life, Orochimaru did get abit fed up with being mistaken for a girl. After fifty or so years, he's decided to just go with it and use it for his own amusement. (Hahahaha). Like how when I was a kid, I'd hate the fact that I was so short. Now, I just chuckle when I can move past crowded places so easily since I'm tiny, while my friends struggle behind me xD

- Ahhh... Orochi and his smooth snake tongue. xD That is how you flirt!

(*＾∀゜) greetings JigokuShoujosRevenge! Haha there's an idea! Oro did like to blow up his labs if people trespassed across them in the future. ;D And I'm glad you like that last room. I tried to make it creepy and I'm glad to hear your confirmation friend.

(〃￣ω￣〃) Indeed BlackLady777 , Orochimaru only shows affection to his team and sensei and doesn't care about anyone else. That is partially attributed to his parents' death, early in the story. He's too afraid of the pain that comes with losing those he forms bonds with, like how his parents died, so he builds a wall to protect himself. After so much time and effort, only Tsunade, Jiraiya and Sarutobi managed to reach him. Everyone else can only see his outer coldness. Oh yea! It is kind of cute to see Tsunade at that age be insecure about her appearance. Doesn't help that Jiraiya keeps calling her flat lol. Sannin teens are adorabes. Though Sarutobi probably doesn't wanna be around when they hit that awkward age of puberty lol. Ah! I didn't know you have an interest in ancient civilizations. Me too! Will definitely include more of that later my friend. Especially since he's been talking to Lady Mito for a reason ;D And yep, I strangely thought of sandboarding when I was trying to figure out a way to get them to the Sand Village faster. Happy you enjoyed the humor!

(*´∀｀*) I must thank you for favoriting my picture on deviantart, hxshigaki76. Haha and I have to admit, the picture of Orochimaru sandboarding down the sand dune while carrying those two was also stuck in my head while writing this. Must have made for a funny mission report for Sarutobi to read. For any future artworks, it will be on my deviantart account that I posted on my profile friend.

v(^∀^*) thanks for reading and the compliment sagar hussain!

o(^▽^)o it's so cute to have the Sannins work together. They really do deserve the title of the Legendary Three of Konoha to emphasize their great teamwork. I like to think that because their teamwork is so legendary, that the bell test holds so much importance for the future kids. And yep! Jiraiya is sensitive and introspective since he has such a big heart. He's a goofball but out of the three, I think he is the most understanding. Probably why he is able to chase after Orochimaru for more than a decade even after all the terrible things his friends. Such a good teacher for Naruto. And about the dark mirror, exactly my friend. They're both smart, vain (lol), experienced the same losses, put their family before everything else, and achieved immortality in some form (his Edo Tensei and her Regeneration technique) to fight against death. Orochimaru is aware of how similar their minds work, which is why he mentions that he knows her best since he is her dark mirror. And I'll definitely mention more about the tail beasts soon. Hint, Kushina is born when the Sannin are 17 ;D