AUTHOR'S NOTE: I deeply apologize for the late upload. I have been buried with work all the time so I haven't updated properly T^T The story is ending soon, just give me a couple of chapters left! again, Thank you for your patience and I know my stories have not been proof read yet. When I finish this, I will re-read them and fix some errors. :)
Zen was never nervous during his performance. He remembered every line, ever emotion, every movement of his characters. He has this huge habit of making himself be his character that's why every audience who watches him act are all besotted with the way he is acting.
He still has a long way to go, but he knows he will get there.
He was in one of the scenes where his character was in a silent trance. this was his chance to search the audience where she was. She did not even see him before the play, nor did she come home to him before he left. It was the same thing as yesterday, she was not in his house when he woke up to prepare for the show. When he got home the night before, she was already fast asleep and she didn't even move one bit when he kissed her temples good night before he too, rested for another day.
He couldn't spot her at first but when he saw a curly brunette sit down on the seat reserved for her, he almost forgot his lines.
She was fashionably late for the play since it was already the half part of the entire show, but she looked glorious. God-like even. Her gown was not the tight gowns most of the women in the audience were wearing. She was wearing a midnight blue Grecian dress that had a floral fading effect by the time the dress was reaching to her feet, the spaces were filled with white silk underneath the thin cloth of midnight blue and the straps were resting on her shoulders. her hair was not tied nor it was curled. He always loved her hair, it was curled in all the right places naturally. It framed her face and her make up was not that flashy and she looked so beautiful he wanted to just jump down the stage and kiss her in front of everybody. He could feel unwanted pride swell in his chest as he acted while his consciousness watched her as she daintily sat on the theater chair and focused her eyes on him. He was in love with this magnificent woman.
Suddenly, a sinking feeling replaced his pride when he realized that she was not even his. Of course they shared some kisses and embraces, but an exchange of agreement, nor even a slur of the words were never said to one another. He had no concrete proof that she too, shared the same sentiments that he did.
He continued to act as if he didn't have these thoughts. His gaze went back to the side of the stage where the other casts were waiting for their scenes to arrive and then he spotted on person whom he knew will be the source of complication for his "budding" relationship with Cara.
There on the corner he saw the stage engineer who threatened Cara a while ago. He was busy looking at the different stage controls, checking the stage for discrepancies and safety measures and the man did a double take when his eyes laid upon Cara. He had an ugly smirk plastered on his face and Zen knew. He had to get rid of this man in the picture of their lives for somehow he knew he posed as a grave danger for Cara's mental health. He needed to tell him to stay away. he was unsure of their past but he knew this man did something to Cara that made her recoil in such a way. Even when Saeran did what he did to her during her time at Rika's apartment, her trauma with Saeran did not surpass how much she reacted to this man.
He wanted to know, but somehow he already had an inkling of who he was in her past.
And he did not like it one bit.
Keep calm, my heart. Please, keep calm.
This was the never ending mantra Cara had as she gazed at Zen while he was acting. She was not late, but she was watching the play from the exit because she was too nervous to let him see her. Her heart made skipping motions as his eyes locked on to her as he looked at where she sat and she squirmed in her seat. She smiled at him and simply mouthed the words, "Good luck." And she thought he had a blush and then he went back to acting.
This is what she found so amazing with Zen.
His acting was so good that she can no longer recognize the man who she lives with. She immediately knew that this play would be one of his greatest and she knew that he was one step closer to his goal. She felt so happy she took part of his success, that she saw his struggles and she was there to pull through it. She had this sense of pride.
This is the man I loved, look at him shine.
Wait. Man I loved? Woah, where did that come from!?
Cara started as she had another epiphany. She knew she was in love with Zen for so long but she didn't admit it until that night when she almost got carried away out of the fear her nightmare might come true. She wasn't used to herself admitting that she was in love with someone, as much as possible, she wanted to protect herself from admitting the inevitable.
She lost her own despicable game and again, cold rush of fear overwhelmed her as she grasped her dress tightly as she looked at Zen act. He was no longer finding her among the audience but she knew he was aware something was up. In a split second, he went out of character and quickly looked at her but he snapped back to his play since the scene was getting intense.
Cara could feel tears prick her eyes as she wanted to say everything she felt out loud and at the same time, she wanted them to be hidden forever in the depths of her heart. She wanted to save him from the pain she would soon give him. She knew she didn't deserved his love, and yet she yearned for it. every single day. She wanted his lips on her as much as she can, she wanted to hold him whenever she was in his presence, she wanted to spend her days with him for as long as he is content, she wanted to love him in ways she didn't know how to love, and in ways she knew she could.
But she was holding back.
It was as if there is a big wall of insecurity, mistrust, and fear blocking her way to Zen and this was brought upon by her experiences 1 year ago. She was over the point person who caused her the immense trauma, but she can never forget the pain.
What if Zen hurt her that way?
She was not beautiful, she was not smart. She was a workaholic, a fatso, clumsy, and grumpy slip of a woman. Who would know the future that if they got together, Zen will get over her pretty quickly.
She was some simple rock embedded in a bed of diamonds in Zen's world.
His kindness, he could give it to somebody more worthy. His time and his patience, he can share it with somebody more worthy. However, as Cara imagined a life without Zen and just watching him fall in love with someone else, made her heart ache more than it did when the incident 1 year ago happened. How did this man manage to crawl deep in her heart and inculcate feelings she promised herself she would no longer feel?
How could he be so sly and he made her love him without even telling her he loved her back?
I am on the edge of taking risks and I was not even aware of it.
This was what she have thought. She knew she was ready to risk her heart when she admitted she's in love with him. She was knew there would be a possibility that he can never love her back.
No. Don't let this happen to you twice.
Cara absentmindedly placed her hands on her lips as she stopped a sob from escaping her mouth. She could feel a tear slip down to her cheeks and she knew there was no going back. No matter how much she stopped herself from feeling something for Zen, she knew she can never get rid of them anymore.
She hated becoming vulnerable. She didn't want him to be too close.
She doesn't want to get hurt anymore.
A memory of that kiss one night flashed on her mind and before she could even decipher why it was there, she could hear sounds of applause as the entire crew of the play lined up in the middle of the stage and bowed. She quickly looked around her and realized that the play was done. She was so immersed within her thoughts she did not even know what happened in the play. All she knew was that at that time, she saw Zen as Zen and not his character.
She quickly scrambled up to her feet when she suddenly saw Zen take the mic and he looked straightly at her.
"Hello, I am Zen and I play the role of the evil duke." He waved simply and he smiled and bowed to the audience. Cara could hear girl squealing as he smiled at the crowd but he stared at her before he said anything more. He winked and made a gesture of extending his arms to her.
"I would love to thank you all for coming to watch our play. We really loved performing for you guys. however, my team would like to thank somebody who has helped us a lot, and who was responsible for making me go up the stage today." He smiled tenderly at Cara. Somehow the crowd fell silent as they all followed where he was looking at.
"We would all like to thank the best manager in the entire world, Cara. Please come up the stage!" Cara was so shocked that she couldn't move her feet. She looked at Zen, eyes wide and she pointed to herself. He nodded as he laughed, his smile so tender and so loving, his hands still waiting for hers to grasp them. His friend Tobes grabbed the mic and screamed, "Come on, lady love! We haven't seen you for days! We have missed you, now let the world know how great of a manager and a person you are!" he cheered her on.
Somehow, the crowd's applause and the team's screaming for her name quieted down as she stared at Zen's eyes. His red eyes filled with honesty and pride and... love? He looked at her as he waited for her to take his hand. She could feel herself waver from his smile and she tried her best to keep her facade intact. She slowly led herself to where the entire crew was as Zen gave him the bouquet that was handed to him when they were doing the cast call. He again took the mic and said, "To the best person who kept us all in our feet. Without you, we wouldn't be here." He smiled as they all cheered and he hugged her in front of other people.
"But I didn't do anything, Hyun." she whispered.
"Oh believe me. You have done so much." He smiled. His eyes were twinkling of being proud and she could feel herself feel faint.
"You look so beautiful today, Cara." Zen smiled.
Time seemed to stop when she saw his face come close to her and before she could react everything was quiet, everything was tense.
Zen has kissed her in front of the hundreds of people then and there.