Mitsurugi nodded in approval as the other two tensed up. "Sarutobi spoke highly of you in our letters. I can see why he considers you to be his successor," he said to the pale one with bright golden eyes.
"Thank you my lord." Orochimaru gave him a respectful half-bow and on the inside, he was positively smiling. It felt... good, to hear his teacher and father figure praise him and say that he wanted him to become the fourth Hokage. His eyes flickered over to the baby girl and he said curtly, "Giving the crystal to that child is dangerous, isn't it?"
"What's going to happen to her?" Jiraiya asked, slightly panicking when he saw Mitsurugi nod. He rubbed the girl's head when she burrowed her face into his neck and burped.
"She'll be set down and given the crystal. We all have three seconds," he pointed to the furthest line on the floor, "To get past that line before my men raise up the barrier. If things go wrong, we'll have to perform a sealing ritual."
"I asked what's going to happen to her in specific," Jiraiya asked, his usually jovial manner dissolving and turning deadly serious.
Tsunade tugged on his arm. "Jiraiya, don't be disrespectful."
Closing his eyes tiredly, Mitsurugi said, "If things go well, nothing besides a small fright. If things go badly... she can lose all of her human emotions."
Orochimaru and the rest looked as Tsunade's bag began to glow red when Kushina reached out to tug on the strap of the bag. She opened it, letting the bloody red light spill out into the chambers and he could feel his guts suddenly twisting inside of him.
"We have to start." Mitsurugi reached out for the crystal and Kushina but Jiraiya quickly stepped back from him and snatched the crystal out of Tsunade's hand.
"Are you kidding me?!" he shouted, putting distance between them. "We can't do this to a little girl! She's only a baby."
"Jiraiya!" Tsunade tried to grab him but he backed even further away.
Orochimaru said coldly, "Jiraiya, are you going to throw away orders and our mission?"
"And should I just stand back and watch her future be thrown away?" Jiraiya retorted. "She's innocent! What the hell is all this anyways?"
"JIRAIYA!" The entire room fell silent when Orochimaru shouted and Tsunade immediately froze and held her breath. Orochimaru never shouted. He could hiss, sound harsh in both voice and expression or even speak in a tone that could make you feel like you were being strangled by snakes. But to outright shout was almost unthinkable for him.
In three steps, Orochimaru stood in front of Jiraiya and he grabbed a handful of his shirt. "You listen to me, you hear?" he hissed. "One, she might come out of this completely unharmed. Second, this is our mission to become Jonin. Don't you screw it up for me. I've worked my whole life for this."
"You selfish son of a-"
"Third!" Orochimaru growled through his teeth. "Both Kages have a reason for this and have agreed to go forward with this. Don't bother asking because Lord Third already told us this was top secret. If you refuse this, you are revolting against direct orders and breaking the rule 'A Shinobi must always put their mission first.' You will be betraying the village, putting this alliance at risk and will be hunted down. If not by Konohagakure, then it'll be by Uzushiokagure. For once, I'm asking you to use your head! I don't want to see you dead, you complete and utter fool!"
"Orochimaru! Jiraiya!" Tsunade screamed and pointed. Both of them looked as Kushina touched the crystal while they had been arguing. In the next second, the crystal shattered to pieces and an explosion of chakra ricochet out from it. The symbols on the ground glowed just as the two were slammed to the ground, their breaths knocked out of their lungs.
"Barriers up! Now!"
"No! They're still in there!" Tsunade protested, trying to run to get the two out of there. But she slammed into a glowing green barrier as Mitsurugi and all of the other Anbu there brought it up. "Damn it! Open up!" She reared her fist up to smash through with pure force but was quickly brought to her knees by five Anbu members. With her arms twisted backward, all she could do was scream at the two stuck in there. "Orochimaru! Jiraiya! Let me go!"
From the crystal, a ghostlike shape that looked like a giant fox with nine tails materialized and gave a thunderous roar that shook the entire tower, sending dust falling down on them. Its head would have touched the tall dome ceiling if it wasn't for the barrier holding it back. Orochimaru opened his mouth and swiftly pulled out his Kusanagi while Jiraiya shielded the baby in his arms and backed away. Throwing his sword up, he made three hand seals and the swords multiplied into twenty. With both hands, he drew the yin yang symbol in the air before pointing. "Fly!" All twenty glowing blue swords flew at breakneck speed towards the fox which roared even louder and its eyes grew a dark red. With a mighty cry, it unleashed an explosion of chakra that repelled all the swords. Orochimaru made a sound of disgust and held out his hand. "Return." The swords reformed into one and returned itself to his hand and he ran forward to deal with it himself.
Jumping up, he slashed and cut furiously at the half solid body made up of bubbling red chakra. But to his dismay, no matter how much he tried to cut, it would quickly heal up. His sword was legendary as it could cut through absolutely anything in this world, including chakra. But this chakra was foul, horrendous, and incredibly durable. When he did manage to cut it, it would merely reform and close right back up. His golden eyes widened and looked up just as the fox aimed all nine of its tails at him. He managed to dodge six but the other three slammed into his chest and sent him flying into the barrier. Dropping to the ground on his front, he spat out a mouthful of blood, feeling something rupture from within his chest.
"Orochimaru!" cried Tsunade. Using all of her strength, she threw off the five men and began pounding the barrier to get in. Her knuckles bled but she continued to push herself and cracks ran through the powerful barrier. But then golden chains looped around her, canceling all of her chakra and she screamed as she was pushed down once more, her cheek bruising as it hit the ground.
"Tsunade! Don't!" Orochimaru and Jiraiya both shouted. His heart raced when he saw two tails aimed towards Jiraiya. Scrambling to his feet, he bit his thumb, smearing blood across his palm before slamming it down on the ground. "Ninja Art: Summoning Jutsu!" Two gigantic golden brown snakes with green eyes appeared, stretching up as tall as the demonic fox. With a hiss, they wrapped themselves around the fox to restrain it.
"Jiraiya! Back me up!" With a twirl of his sword, he stabbed it into the ground. Forming the snake hand seal, he hissed, "Lightning Release: False Darkness." Parting his hands, a spear of crackling bright blue lightning materialized between them and he readied to toss it like a javelin.
Sucking in a lungful of air, Jiraiya made the tiger hand seal as Kushina pulled on his hair and clothes to keep from falling off his broad shoulder. "Fire Release: Great Dragon Fire." He spat out a roaring dragon head composed of intense heat and fire, that rushed right at the fox's head, in a rush of divine light.
"To dust." Orochimaru threw his lightning spear with all of his might, striking the fox in the middle. His two gigantic snakes slithered to his side to avoid the damage and he panted heavily, as the explosion of fire and lightning lit the room up in a brilliant show of purple, blue and red while the fox shrieked and was swallowed up be the attack. With such powerful attacks, the chakra that made up that monstrous fox should be greatly depleted. But to his horror, the fox remained standing, albeit weakly and on trembling legs, and it snarled at them hatefully.
Mitsurugi shouted, "You two have done enough to weaken it! Nothing else will work! You must place Kushina in the front! Only she has any chance of stopping this! This was meant for her! She must go through this trial by fire!"
"But-"
Orochimaru grasped his friend by the arm. "Do you want all three of us to die?! Do it!" His heart pounded as the fox reared itself over them, ready to pounce. "Hold it back!" he commanded. His snakes hastily tried to restrain it but the fox had have enough. With one bite, it tore one snake in half and with its claws, it shredded the other to pieces, sending blood and guts flying everywhere. The ground trembled as his snakes hit the ground.
Kushina at this moment began to cry and the fox turned its attention directly on her. At the same time, Orochimaru snatched her out of Jiraiya's hands and ran towards it.
"Orochimaru!" Jiraiya tried to kick at his feet and take her back but his friend blocked the attack and in the next move, dislocated his shoulder with a loud crack. Falling to the ground, he cried out in pain.
"Out of my way Jiraiya," snarled Orochimaru, running closer to the fox with the baby girl. When he was close enough, he raised her up and she screamed in fright at the raging fox. All of a sudden, heavy golden chains lashed out and immobilized it, coming out from Kushina's heart. The louder she cried, the more the chains glowed and strangled the fox until it sank down to the ground and began to evaporate into mist.
When it disappeared completely, Mitsurugi ordered the barrier down and Tsunade rushed in and over to Orochimaru's side. "Orochimaru!" But she skidded to a stop when she saw the expression on his face. Never in her life had she seen such a deranged look in his eyes. The way he was looking at Kushina and smiling made Tsunade's heart thrum with dread and unease. It was then that she noticed a flicker of red streaking across his eyes. It was so fast, she wondered if she had imagined it.
She snapped out of it when Mitsurugi Uzumaki took back the crying child with a very displeased expression on his face. "Is this how Konohagakure trains its ninjas? To disregard orders?"
Jiraiya clutched at his shoulder and came forward, knowing that he deserved all the blame and that it was because of him, that Tsunade and Orochimaru were dragged into this. "I'm sorry my lord. I... I didn't intend any disrespect but I simply couldn't stand by and do nothing."
Mitsurugi handed Kushina over to one of the Anbu and sighed. "Your actions helped increased Kushina's chance of making it out of there. But," he put a heavy emphasis on the word, "That came at a great risk to yourselves. We were never in danger since we had the barrier but you two were the ones in there."
Jiraiya said steadfastly, "Then I have no regrets. I would do it again in a heartbeat."
"Honorable, kind, but naive. I will have to review your actions today before I decide to entrust you with the missions that I had previously thought of assigning." Mitsurugi then turned to address Orochimaru, his gaze careful. "You were unwilling, and merely caught in the crossfire. What are your thoughts on what happened?"
The corner of Orochimaru's lips twitched while his hair hid most of his face. "The child was special. I'm glad to have ensured her future. It worked out in the end, I suppose." He clutched at his chest. "Power and abilities like that must be preserved."
Mitsurugi asked with concern, "Are you alright? You were hit very hard, Orochimaru."
"I'm fine, my lord. It's a minor injury," he replied delicately.
"Very well. Return and rest up. I will summon you three later."
Orochimaru bowed his head and his teammates followed suit as they went on ahead. When the door closed shut behind them, Jiraiya said, "Oro, I-"
Blood spilled out from Orochimaru's lips and he said lowly, "Hurry back to our room... quickly. I can't hold on much longer."
Tsunade's eyes widened as she put her head to his chest and listened. "Internal bleeding," she said in shock. "Orochimaru, you have to go to the hospital. I think its your lungs-"
"No, we take care of this ourselves." His vision swam and he nearly fell over before he was caught by Tsunade. "This was supposed to be top secret. If I go to a hospital, there's a chance of leaking information." He pulled down his mesh undershirt to show them the dark red burnt marks that singed his skin, leaving an open raw wound. Some of the skin had split near the area, marking his porcelain skin with trailing blood. Even though none of them were sensory types, they could feel the dark chakra that clung to the injuries. If he did go to the hospital, that chakra burn would raise up questions. He added, "We can't afford to look any worse in their eyes either. We have to look strong and capable. We're representatives of our village. I must bear this."
Tsunade knew that what he was saying was right. Their image was already damaged with insubordination. If they looked weak, Mitsurugi would give them a joke of a mission and the request for their aid in the war would go up in smoke, along with respect for Konohagakure. She held up her glowing green hand and pressed it to his chest. "This will help for fifteen minutes as we rush back. Hang on, ok?" He nodded weakly, his legs buckling beneath him and she hurriedly draped his arm over her shoulder. As they began their descent downward, with Orochimaru growing more feverish and disoriented, Tsunade shot Jiraiya an angry look. "Once we get back to our room, stay outside and out of my sight."
"Why? I can help-"
"You've helped enough for today," she said scathingly, shoving past him.
Jiraiya knocked on their door timidly. It had been three hours as he waited outside their door, hoping and praying that his friend would be alright. Even if they weren't at the hospital, it felt like he was standing right outside the emergency operating room anyways. When no one answered, he knocked once more. "I'm... I'm coming in, Tsunade." He opened it and gingerly walked in, wincing from the pain of his dislocated shoulder. Tsunade ignored him, continuing to work on her healing. Piles of bloody bandages laid beside her, along with a basin of dark red waters. As he approached them, he bit on his lips and stayed quiet. Laying on his futon, Orochimaru showed no sign of waking up anytime soon. "Is he... going to be alright?" When she didn't reply, her pink lips still pressed into a thin line, he said, "I'm sorry-"
A resounding smack echoed through the room as she stood up and struck him across the face. "You know what," Tsunade said harshly. "If you want to be a hero, go do it somewhere far away from me and Orochimaru next time."
"I was only trying to do what's right," Jiraiya said helplessly.
Tsunade knuckles cracked as she curled her hands into fists and she said lowly, "Do it without endangering us. I don't care if you want to die. It's your life. But don't drag us into it, especially Orochimaru. He's worked hard to get to where he is, especially since he lost his parents before he even entered the Academy."
Jiraiya said weakly, "I know-"
"No, you don't know anything." She jabbed her finger into his chest. "If you knew, you wouldn't have endangered him in such a fashion. If that tail had struck him just abit harder, he would have died and lost everything that he's worked so hard for. You can go ahead and be stupid. The only think you've ever put effort into was perving on women and pissing me off with your annoying date requests and comments on my body!"
Her words pierced his heart. While it was true he wasn't as studious or as hardworking as Orochimaru was, he still tried his best. He always tried to get Sarutobi-sensei and her to pay him attention and praise him every once in awhile. He tried to get Orochimaru to acknowledge him as an equal. But no matter how hard he tried, he always played second fiddle. Orochimaru was the genius, only seen once every decade or so, as Sarutobi would like to say. It made him feel terrible at times to feel so jealous of his friend so he tried to his best to crack jokes and smile whenever he failed, tried to put on a carefree attitude whenever he lost to Orochimaru, and tried to comfort himself by saying that one day, Tsunade would come to realize how much he loved her and give him a chance. But as the years passed by, she never changed her stance. Instead, she seemed more and more enamored with Orochimaru. He was dense but he wasn't blind. He saw the way she looked at him and noticed that she was happy whenever he went off to Mount Myoboku and that she would get to train alone with Orochimaru. To hear from her very own lips right now, that she didn't care if he died, crushed him.
Forcing himself to grin, he said, "I saw the way you cried out for both Orochimaru and me back there."
"Wipe that grin off your face before I do it for you," Tsunade said, her temper flaring. "You're a good man but when that goodness interferes with your judgment, it's nothing more than a weakness." She hugged herself, trying not to look at Orochimaru and cry. "If you ever endanger him like this again... I'll kill you."
"Just like that?" he asked, his voice barely audible.
"Just like that," she affirmed.
Jiraiya dug his nails into palms, utterly heartbroken. "If the one good thing about me... which is my heart... disgusts you, is there nothing you like about me?"
She closed her eyes and muttered, "I like that you'd jump in to save someone from trouble. I like that you like to look for a path that doesn't have to lead to violence. I like your heart, Jiraiya. But I am selfish." Taking a deep breath, she said, "It would break my heart if you two died. Especially Orochimaru." She wiped at her eyes and breathed out shakily, her shoulders trembling. "You have no idea just how hard Orochimaru has it, you bastard. From the very first day at the Academy, he had to stand in the shadows and watch the rest of us come to school with affectionate words and loving lunches made by our mothers. When classes end, he would watch us get picked up and given hugs and kisses. When I and my grandfather brought him home after I accidentally knocked him out, that was the first time I understood what true silence meant."
"I..."
She hissed, trying to stem the tears from her eyes. "I watched him fill out papers every month, detailing his studies and accomplishments to the village so that he could be fed and allowed to keep his parents' house. He was my age. He was only five. But despite how little he had and sad his situation was, he stayed strong, kept his focus, and is predicted to be one of the strongest ninjas in the Five Great Nations in the next ten years." Straightening up, she jabbed at his chest. "We're sixteen and coming onto seventeen soon. Twelve fucking years of hard work, studying, reading, practicing, and dangerous missions that Orochimaru took on, could have all gone up in smoke because of you! For all your good intentions, the results always end in failure and I'm sick of it. This one is the last straw." She jerked a finger at his futon. "Go get another room. I don't want to see you."
Jiraiya stared down at the ground, feeling his throat burn up as he tried to contain his emotions. "For all my faults, my feelings are true. I... I just want to let you know how sorry I am. I never wanted to put either of you in danger or..." He gestured to her bruised cheek and wet eyes before he bowed his head low, letting part of his spiky white hair hide his face. "Forgive me."
"Don't ask it of me." She pointed down at their teammate. "Ask Orochimaru and our entire village if this mission fails. I have to write a report on this after I treat Orochimaru and it's going to be complete and utter crap because all I can remember was screaming at you two while my face was pressed into the ground. So goodnight!"
Walking out of there was the hardest thing he's ever done. The crushing weight of rejection and hurt made him feel like he's attached twenty weights on to his legs. Worst of all was that in some part of his heart, he agreed with her. He had just put the lives of his teammates, and that of his entire village at risk. Leaning on the door after he closed it, he swallowed and wiped at his eyes. "Don't you even dare cry, with your friend dying on his bed," Jiraiya said to himself strickenly.
Kneeling on the floor, Tsunade glanced over at the door and shook her head, wearing a sad expression on her face. In a way, what she had done was wrong. She couldn't fault him for being the way he was. She herself, jumped in and attacked those Anbu because she cared about Orochimaru and Jiraiya, the same way Jiraiya acted without thinking because he followed his heart. She just hoped that he knew she didn't really mean it when she said she didn't care if he died. That was a blatant lie, spoken out of anger. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she thought about the look on his face as he walked out and she felt a sudden stabbing of guilt.
After cleaning up and making sure Orochimaru was comfortable, she got up and walked over to the table and sat down on a golden cushion. The only light was from the single lonely candle on the table, casting its soft amber light across her tired face. Picking up the brush, she stared at the white papers laid out before her, wondering how she should start. Hours drifted by and she continued to sit there like a statue, her mind completely burnt out as she worried about Orochimaru, felt guilty about being incredibly harsh to Jiraiya, and panicking about the village's relation to one of their oldest friends and allies. She was smart enough to clue in that Sarutobi-sensei want them to work for Uzushiogakure as a form of payment or way to earn their gratitude. Like Orochimaru mentioned, it was probably a dangerous mission since it had to be great enough to change Uzushiogakure's stance on neutrality.
Tsunade's eyes widened and she straightened up. A Shinobi must see the hidden meanings within meanings... She dipped her brush back into the ink and began to write. First, the part with Kushina seemed like a simple record and observe order. But Orochimaru had guessed that the little girl was somehow involved in resealing the tailed beast back at their village. Judging by how powerful her innate talent was at sealing, she was probably a born prodigy with unique chakra. To record means to verify her talents and let their teacher know. If she had to guess, Kushina was probably a future recruit who would use her fuinjutsu to help the village. She bit her on her lips and continued writing. Secondly... missions or tasks that they were supposed to fulfill for Uzushiogakure might-
She jumped when she heard a groan coming from Orochimaru. Getting up, she hastily ran over to his side. Brushing back his hair, she peered down closely at him. "Orochimaru, can you hear me? Are you alright? Does it hurt?"
"Tsu... nade." Through a hazy wall of pain, he murmured, "You did well in taking care of such a difficult injury, hime. I'm impressed." He groaned as his wound stung.
"Orochimaru! Here, let me." She leaned over to help. All of a sudden, she caught his golden bright eyes staring up at her in an intent manner. Somehow, the look brought a rush of heat to her face. It was a mixture of curiosity, and... and... dare she say it but it looked like longing. She hastily pulled back but he caught her wrist in his hand. "Wh-what is it?" she asked, trying to keep herself from sounding so nervous.
"It's nothing." He let her hand go, albeit shakily. "I was just remembering the time my mother stayed by my side all night when I was running a high fever and my father was busy making me medicine." He looked up at the ceiling. "Since they've died, whenever I got hurt or got sick, I had to take care of myself alone. The only other time when I woke up to see someone looking after me, was Sarutobi-sensei during the Chunin exam."
She smiled. "You rarely get hurt so it makes sense why you'd remember those moments so well."
"People only realize what they have once it's gone." His eyes glowed sorrowfully. "You have no idea how much of a comfort it is... to wake up and see someone fretting over you."
She moved closer to him and brushed back his silky long hair, disheartened to see him looking so sad. "I treasure the chance to fret over you. You rarely let people get close. Even with me, you try not to."
"Because I'm afraid," he answered simply, vulnerably, baring his heart for her and admitting his fear. "You must understand, Tsunade, I can't cry over something I've never had." Lifting his hand, he gently laid a single finger on her bruised cheek. "Like right now. It pains me to see you like this."
Her stomach did flip-flops and she said lightly, "I look really ugly, huh?"
"No," he said in a hushed voice. "You look beautiful. You look this way because of me." He touched her cheek again in an almost regretful fashion. His eyes flickered to the other two futons and he asked, "Where's Jiraiya?"
Tsunade sighed tiredly. "I... I kicked him out. I didn't want to see him tonight. It would just make me mad."
"To be honest, I am furious as well. If it didn't hurt so bad, I would punch him myself if I see him."
She thought back to what he said to Uzushiogakure's Kage and said, "But, didn't you say you were-"
"Glad that little girl made it out fine? Yes, that is true. It is the only source of comfort for all of this." He gestured to his chest.
She remembered the frightening and crazed look he had for the girl and swallowed. "Orochimaru," she began hesitantly. "You looked absurdly happy when Kushina dispelled that monster with her powers."
He could detect the fear in her voice and he looked at her warily. "Is that a mere observation or were you looking for an explanation?" When she didn't answer, he said disparagingly, "You are correct if you assume that I didn't value her life for mere moral sake. I don't. I valued her existence only when I saw her powers and potential."
"That is cruel."
"That is reality." He forced himself to sit up so that he could be leveled with her. "You know that there are children who die every day. Whether it be sickness or starvation. But the world moves on. It moves on because it learned since the beginning of time, that it could only survive through ignorance or cold distance. Being empathetic towards every little pain and sorrows would shorten one's lifespan dramatically. If we don't give any thoughts to those faceless people and children dying, what makes Kushina so different? Is that not hypocritical?"
She looked away and stayed silent. Orochimaru had always been blunt and even though she knew there was truth in his words, it was hard to listen to.
"What I just said doesn't mean that I don't care for this world, Tsunade. I care for the grander scheme of things. Little losses and sacrifices, is sometimes necessary and unavoidable."
She said in irritation, "Pray tell, what grander scheme does your heart care for?"
He couldn't help but smirk. "You doubt me."
"I know you can care. Very deeply." She looked into his golden eyes, highlighted by beautiful purple. She had seen how devoted he was to their team and to his dead parents. He held no reserve in battle and in love. That was why she had desired to be with him. Nonetheless... "But the objects of your affections can be counted on one hand. Me, Jiraiya, Sarutobi-sensei, your parents and your ambitions. That is all you care for."
Orochimaru tilted his head, regarding her with sudden new-found curiosity. "What are my ambitions?"
She blinked, wondering if he had just asked a rhetorical question. "It's to obtain and master every technique that is out there."
"Why?" This part threw her off track and his smile widened slightly as she struggled to come up with an answer. Deciding to help her, he said, "At first, it was to satiate my thirst for knowledge, better myself and become powerful. Only with power, can I control my own fate and protect myself. But that is what someone weak and insignificant would think. Like how a child who fears the dark, would wish for a candle." He shook his head, his silky hair falling over his shoulders to outline his handsome face. "I have another reason now. The child has grown up and sees how fire can be used properly and to its full extent. I desire restoration."
Tsunade looked at him with confusion. "Restoration?"
His expression grew slightly melancholy. "Once, many clans and many individuals with rare abilities and talents walked this world. Take for example, your grandfather. His wood release is legendary in power and beauty, seen only once every few centuries. The Senju clan once reigned equally with the Uchiha clan during the Warring States period. But now... what has happened to it? Your family are the only Senjus left and none of you inherited his wood release." He looked over at their window and up at the starry night skies. "We lose more and more of our history and legends with every year. The future generation grows weaker and weaker. Clans grow extinct along with their special techniques and kekeki genkai." Gesturing to himself in a matter of fact manner, he said, "Like how my parents left a dying clan and now I'm the only remnant left. The passing of all these lost techniques and powers makes this world all the lesser. With the passage of time, we lose more and more and we are left with nothing more than a former shell of what the world had once been." He muttered, "I hate loss. The very thought of such a gray future disgusts me. To restore lost knowledge and wonders, I am willing to pay any price. That is also why I am the few who dares to learn kinjutsu."
Tsunade touched her necklace for comfort, keeping her eyes averted from him. "You almost sound romantic." He made a sound of amusement in the back of his throat and she said, "But is that really it? Simple restoration? Or do you want to obtain it all for yourself?"
"Is that an accusation?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "Tell me, Tsunade Senju. What is eating at you?"
Torn and with great difficulty, she said, "When Kushina... used her powers, I saw the way you looked at her. Like a vulture seeing a fresh corpse. You looked demented!" She thought he would take offense and be angry. But on the contrary, he just seemed surprised before he laughed.
"That's it?"
She grouched, "The hell do you mean that's it?"
Orochimaru smiled. "I saw and felt her unique chakra. I saw a fragment of what once was. She is powerful and she is only two years old. Imagine when she grows up, how strong she could be. Not only that, she hails from the Uzumaki clan. She will live long and she will be given every technique known to her clan. When I look at her, I see unlimited potential. Forgive me for losing composure." When she remained silent, his smile dropped as he realized she was wary of him. Coldly, he said, "I see. You're just like the rest of them. You fear me."
"Wa-wait." She protested and reached out for him, seeing him withdraw away from her. "I don't mean that-"
"Don't touch me," he said with a crushed expression, pulling his arm away from her.
"Orochimaru..." She knew him well enough to see that he was hurt, even if he masked it extremely well and she said sadly, "Orochimaru, I'm just trying to understand you. I'm not trying to hurt you."
He said bitterly, "We all try. But we all grow disappointed, don't we?"
"No! I still want to be with you," she protested, her heart aflutter with panic.
"You can't be with someone you don't understand and fear, Tsunade."
She leaned in close to him and cried, "When you were fighting that fox, I was so afraid that you might die on me that I could scarcely breathe. I love you, Orochimaru. I want to be with you."
Orochimaru's eyes glowed with sorrow as he shook his head. "I am cold, blunt, difficult and arrogant. I know that. But I still have a heart, Tsunade. And... you've just proved my fears about this relationship correct." He put his hand on his chest that was aching with something more than just physical pain. "I don't believe this will work between us."
"Just talk to me," Tsunade pleaded, heartbroken at seeing him look so tired and so wounded. "After all we've been through, don't leave me now."
"Then tell me... when I told you I wanted the power to obtain happiness back at your library that night, was it a lie that you agreed with me? If not, why are you suddenly so afraid?" he asked curtly.
She held onto her necklace even tighter as she said strickenly, "If your sole goal was to find lost knowledge and restore the world to make it better, I'd support you with all my heart. If you want power so that you can have the strength to accomplish your dreams and protect the happiness that you're so afraid of losing, I would stand by you no matter what." She said tearfully, "But what I saw back there was different. You saw Kushina as a weapon meant for death. What you want restored, you want for yourself, not for the village. You don't care about the people of this world."
He chuckled mirthlessly, knowing he had always been right when he told her she was suited to be a healer. She cared for those who were hurting and in pain, unlike him. Quietly, he said, "We live in a world of death and decay. I became apathetic to protect myself and I learned to keep things to myself. If there is a decision to be made, I put myself first and think about my self-interest." He gazed into her eyes and saw what was reflecting back at him. "It seems you've begun to understand me. What you found scary and demented back there, was a smile of pure calculative selfishness. I was glad that she was safe because I saw that she can be of use to me and my research."
"You have so little warmth," she said, her heart breaking.
"Perhaps you are right," he replied, his eyes half closed and a single glistening tear clinging to his lace-like lashes. "And if so, I can't give you the love you desire."
He grimaced in pain as he lowered himself down and pulled the blankets back up to his neck. "There is no happiness to be found in being with me. I am selfish and probably will always be."
"I don't believe that," she said, her voice constricted with emotions. "I believe you can change. After all, you changed for me, Jiraiya and Sarutobi-sensei."
He let out a long forced breath and murmured, "Tsunade, I know you better than anyone else. I can love you with all my heart, and give you everything you've ever wanted. But you are much better than that. You can't be truly happy with someone who will never bat an eyelash if someone dies before his very feet. It's impossible for me to change that."
"Oro-"
"Just leave me! You're afraid of me. This will never work!" he shouted, turning on his side and away from her to hide his anguish. "There is nothing more to discuss... Please, just leave me, Tsunade." He heard her leave the room in tears and he pressed his hand to his face silently. Love certainly was foolish, he thought, realizing that he did share the same romantic feelings she had for him. But how tragically ironic that he understood these feelings, only when he lost her. He curled in on himself and grinded on his teeth, as his chest tightened up further in pain.
You were right to let her go. Nothing ever lasts, especially not a relationship that would be based on a girl's fantasy of healing a man who will never change. He can't even love himself, let alone spare feelings for the world. You only sought perfection before, right? Forget about everything else and continue towards that path. Once you're perfect and powerful, you'll never be in pain or lose anything anymore. Instead, you will have everything. Embrace that hatred you have for this pathetic and weak world and fix it, so that there will be no more loss. Throw away that impossible love that will never happen.
He lowered his hand and opened his eyes, which were now a burning dark red and more fox-like than his old golden serpent eyes.
You're just like the rest of them. You fear me.
Darkwings13:
-This is literally the hardest chapter I've had to write for this story. I was gonna upload it like at noon today but I kept on revising back and forth all the way till now. Now I feel like I've just been punched in the diaphragm feels.
-I updated this at 11:40pm. So technically still Satuday xD But yea, I'm going to stick with my Mon/Thurs as update days.
-No one knew Kushina was a Jinchuriki in Konoha, besides Sarutobi and a few top officials. She and Mito never experienced any discrimination for being Jinchurikis. It was probably all kept secret for their sake and happiness. Naruto's case was unfortunate. And Kushina said she herself didn't know the reason why she was brought there, and it was also kept secret from the Sannin in episode 247 of Naruto Shippuuden. I'm going with Orochimaru figuring it out in this story but keeping it to himself. He always seemed like he's always known and especially if he joined the Akatsuki. Also, in chapter 370 of Naruto, the Key Frog through the Kyuubi was just a natural disaster and even Jiraiya just thought that Madara summoned it from out of nowhere.
┗(｀･∀･´●) Evening LuckyLefty77! I'm so glad you enjoyed the conversation between Oro and Tsu in the last chapter. I had alot of fun writing Oro so flustered hehe. And I thank you for reading this fic and reviewing my friend. I'm very grateful.
(✿^_^◠‿◠) Nah they were prepared, JigokuShoujosRevenge. It's just that they're kept in the dark by Sarutobi and they've been really unlucky for this entire mission lol.
( v￣▽￣) Aloha Blacklady! I'll work more on the settings for Uzushio later, I was afraid it wasn't enough. I'm glad you like the scenery I described so far though my friend! Oh yea, I love writing about young Sannins and their days of going through puberty bwahahhaha. It amuses me, especially with Orochi. Much thanks and huggles for reminding me about Jiraiya! I decided to write the part about his insecurity in this chapter thanks to you my friend. Hope I did alright. And yea, poor Oro and him trying to make logical sense of a complicated matter like love. He's just hurting himself. And yes! I wrote her so close to Jiraiya cuz I was inspired about her entire family's closeness to him in the future. I think if they had sealed the beasts in the kids but kept them happy and their identity, it wouldn't have been too bad. Like how Mito and Kushina was relatively happy. It's cases like Naruto and Gaara for example, that's it awful and very sad.
v('∇'*)⌒ thank you Lord Creator! I tried! XD
（ﾉ´∀`）oh new reader! Hello RushiAei! Thank you for your compliment friend. And yes, I absolutely adore the love Sarutobi has for Orochimaru, no matter how far he's jumped off the deep end. Even when he was dying, he remembered kid Oro. Gah, more feels.
(`•ω•´๑) Haiii ileangie23! Hahaha Orochi and his anaconda. So inappropriate but I regret nothing! Lol! Yea I was inspired by Naruto SD. Again, Oro is hilarious in that. And I definitely feel an urge to write about Tsu and Oro both doing the face mask spa treatment. Probably will do that. ;D And I love his tattoos too! It's so badass. I definitely try to write absolutely everything about him since it's a story based on his beginning to end. And writing Orotsu fluff gives me life. There needs to be more Orotsu fluff and when Oro is romantically stupid and flustered growing up. Huehuehue. Thank you for your affirmation in his statement that he'd never die for Tsunade. He knows the pain he'd leave her with would be the worst thing to do to her ever since he experienced it with his parents. Oh and I do tend to have a habit of leaving sinister endings to my chapters. Hehe. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing as always my friend.