Half a month later...

"We're leaving in three days. Make sure you don't forget anything." He shot Jiraiya a glance as he sipped on his tea, enjoying the afternoon quiet in their room. "If you forget your underwear again, you are not borrowing mine."

Jiraiya paused in writing his story and teased, "But it's a housewife's duty to pack away her man's underwear. And you have two arms again so no excuses."

During the time at Uzushiogakure, he had recovered well enough to use his shedding technique to restore his body back to normal. As Jiraiya slapped his knee and howled with laughter, he said dryly, "By that logic, I should apparently also be packing away Tsunade's panties since she's manly. But no, you're not borrowing my underwear because I'm bigger than you." It was now his turn to be smug as Jiraiya's face turned blotchy."

"I swear, it must be that weird perverted technique of yours. Like how you can stretch your tongue and limbs, you probably stretched that too," Jiraiya said pointedly, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

"A super pervert calling my technique perverted, I should commit seppuku." Orochimaru poured himself some more tea and tried to return his readings. He was now allowed to visit the archives to do research since Uzushio had asked him to help in refining their barrier technique. At the moment, the island was protected by a forbidden barrier technique that had constructed a large dome of thick blue chakra over the island. It was invisible to the eyes until intruders came close. Only then, would a half torso of a blindfolded woman appear, attached to the barrier. With her hundreds of hands, she would tear apart any incoming ships or trespassers. With the demonic barrier, it also kept the chakra saturated air and waters inside and soon enough, peace was regained. As there were no survivors, Uzushiogakure's location was once against kept secret. The demon was relatively obedient and didn't hold any animosity in being sealed away for so long. Nonetheless, Mitsurugi wanted to perfect his own barrier technique as soon as possible and reseal the demon.

Before he could get through five pages, he looked over at Jiraiya in annoyance as his friend giggled like some kind of school girl. It was also slightly disturbing that he was drooling. Leaning slightly over, he tried to peek at his writing and began reading. "And he slid his hand up the soft creamy thigh-" He stopped when he realized what his friend was writing. "You're kidding. You're writing porn?"

"Erotic literature." Jiraiya scoffed and fluffed out his paper, trying to hide it with his arm. "I'm having writer's block for my main story so I decided to take abit of a break and switch to a different genre. I'm going to name it the Icha Icha series."

Orochimaru gave Jiraiya a dirty look. "Don't tell me it's because of Tsunade."

At that, Jiraiya said dreamily, "Well... speaking of big things earlier, she really got big."

He knew what his white hair pervert was talking about. The one most significant change that did happen while they were here, was that Tsunade received an explosive growth spurt for her breasts. For some godly reason, in two weeks, her breasts literally became watermelon sized. Orochimaru didn't quite care. The only bit of curiosity he had was wondering if she experienced any back pain, and if eating so much chakra saturated food helped contributed to her new breasts. Jiraiya was the complete opposite. All of his attention now gravitated towards her enormous bosom. It got so bad, that every night now, Jiraiya would drool excessively and dream about Tsunade's breasts. He was somehow smart enough to not say things out loud in his sleep, but that was the extent of it.

Flashback...

"What the hell. Get off me Jiraiya."

Orochimaru tried to shove Jiraiya off of him as he had somehow rolled out of his futon and over onto him.

"Hmmmmmmmmm."

When Jiraiya began making kissing noises and groped his ass, he finally had enough. Sitting straight up, he took his blanket and Jiraiya's blanket and tied him up with the most skillful knot tying ability he didn't even know he had.

"He-hey!" Jiraiya woke up with a snort and wiggled around in his straight jacket blanket. "What the hell Oro!"

Orochimaru put a finger to his mouth and shushed him. "Keep quiet idiot. Tsunade will kill us both if you wake her."

"Well why did you tie me up?" Jiraiya asked.

"Because you freaking molested me." Grabbing Jiraiya's feet, he dragged him to the opposite side of the room. Next, he went over to where Tsunade was sleeping, dragged his futon right beside her, laid down, and began stealing half of her blanket.

"Hey! Why are you sleeping so close to Tsunade?" Jiraiya protested.

"This is your punishment," Orochimaru replied, settling himself down to sleep.

Jiraiya gaped. Because Orochimaru had stolen half of Tsunade's blanket, she grew cold and unconsciously rolled over to him for warmth. Draping one leg over him and then pressing her big boobs into his side, she sighed comfortably and snuggled against the sleeping snake summoner in content. Jiraiya internally cried and tried even harder to get free. That's it. IF Tsunade wakes up and kills them both, at least he wouldn't have to suffer this agony alone. "Tsunade! Tsunade wake up! I have your panties!"

Tsunade's eyes snapped open and she sat up, cracking her knuckles. "You fucking what?!"

Orochimaru grumbled drowsily and popped his pillow over his head to try and get back to sleep. The movement caught Tsunade's attention and she blushed madly as she realized how close she was to him. Looking around quickly, she stuck her tongue out at Jiraiya before laying down on Orochimaru's chest to cuddle up against him. "You can scream all night, pervy no brain. I'm not moving from this spot." With that, she reached out for ear plugs and went back to sleep, a wide smile on her face. For good measure, she grabbed Orochimaru's arm and slung it over her waist.

When Jiraiya giggled again and looked down at his writing, Orochimaru rolled his eyes. "Other than a bigger chest, she's still the same. I don't see-"

"Oro, how can you call yourself a man when you can't appreciate," Jiraiya made an hour glass figure with his hands, "A woman's body. What I'm doing and fantasizing about is perfectly normal, especially for a virile male my age." Squinting at his pale friend, he said, "Don't you... ever get urges?"

The tips of Orochimaru's ears heated up and he propped up his book to ignore his white hair teammate. "None of your business."

Jiraiya leaned over the table and rested his chin on top of the thick book. "I just want to know if you're healthy. That aside, I know that since your parents died, you've never had the talk. I'm here if you have questions. After all, I've seen plenty of naked women."

Orochimaru nearly facepalmed at how proud Jiraiya was sounding. "I have a very clear idea of what a woman's body looks like and every biological function and hormones that they have from my books. I don't need you and your talk."

At that Jiraiya gave a big sad sigh. "The talk is about puberty, sex and lust in general you silly snake. Like, have you never questioned why you suddenly had armpit hair? Or wet dreams?" He then paused. "Do you even have wet dreams?"

Orochimaru focused his eyes so hard on his text it felt like they were going to pop out of his sockets. "We are not going to discuss this."

"Don't be shy Oro," Jiraiya said with a grin, trying to prod him to look at him. "We're like bros. There's nothing you can't tell me."

"Hey guys I'm back!" At the loud outburst, Jiraiya lost his balance and fell forward, almost kissing Orochimaru right on his cold clammy lips. If it wasn't for his teammate's lightning reflex in putting his hand up to protect himself, their lips would have touched once again.

The door flew open and Tsunade skipped in happily, her hands full of shopping bags. As she had grown in chest size, she had needed to buy new undergarments and clothes. Seeing what greeted her return, she stopped dead in her tracks and froze. A second or two passed before she dropped all of her bags and ran to tackle Jiraiya, sending him flying into the pile of silk cushions. Scrambling to her feet, she put her hands on her hips and said angrily, "Did you almost kiss Orochimaru again?!"

"Ewww! You're making it sound like I tried to kiss him! First time was an accident and this time, was also an accident." He eyed up her leg, unable to help trying to peek up her skirt. "Did you buy new lingerie by the way?"

"YOU PERVERT!"

Orochimaru let out a long breath when she knocked Jiraiya out and threw him out of their room. Out of slight obligations, he picked up Jiraiya's papers and swept them into one of his research folders. If Tsunade saw what he was writing, she'd definitely kill him. From what he glimpsed, he had a feeling the woman he was reading about was inspired by her. Getting up, he asked, "How was your shopping trip, hime?"

She beamed in delight, switching moods as quickly as her grandfather could. "Great! Half of the stuff was actually free since alot of people were thanking me for healing them, their family or friends." She grabbed his arm and shook him happily. "Sarutobi-sensei is going to be so pleased when we return."

"I should hope so. He seemed worried when he sent a letter asking us to return."

"But when you asked to stay, he agreed easily enough," said Tsunade. Orochimaru had penned a reply saying that they were still needed on the island, and telling their teacher not to worry. As always, Sarutobi favored his pale student and usually, whatever Orochimaru wanted, their teacher would give him. There was no question that Sarutobi-sensei loved him dearly.

Orochimaru folded his hands together, his eyes rolling. "I didn't want to stay, I wanted to go home. My garden is probably wilting without my care. The only reason why we're staying longer is because it would help with our mission. We're guaranteed to be Jonin now that we're heroes, and they've already begun drafting up a paper of agreement to aid us if there's war." He then added with a snort, "And they had to try a few trials on us to see if they could recover our memories. Too bad for them, since I have no clue who Goro is or what kind of demon they've sealed away."

"So when are we leaving?" she asked, sitting down on the table and looking at him.

"In three days. I'm going to overlook the final barrier on the last day, and get my tattoo tomorrow. You and Jiraiya will need to pick up a technique as your payment before we leave."

At that, Tsunade sighed. "I... just want a technique that will somehow let me look young."

"I know." A roguish look sparked in his eyes. "While digging around in the archives, I came upon an Uzumaki technique that forcibly locks a chakra path. When enemies use a Henge Jutsu, the technique freezes them in that form in retaliation. If you can pull off a good transformation to your liking, such as being young, use it to lock that chakra path to keep the transformation. It'll require no conscious effort since you basically turn a lock." He paused when she stared at him in admiration, her eyes sparkling. "Tsunade?" When she held her hands to her cheeks and smiled, he was slightly confused even though he thought it was rather cute. Realizing what he was thinking, he scolded himself and quickly gestured to the pile of folders beside his golden cushion. "It should be in the fourth folder from the bottom. Not the actual technique, but the description and data on it. You can read more on it and decide if that's the technique you'd like as payment, hime."

"Of course I'd like the technique. I want it because of you, remember?" Seeing that he was refusing to meet her eyes, she grumbled, "You know, it's been a very long time that I've waited for you to give me an answer to date me, Orochimaru."

He tugged at the collar of his silk purple shirt uncomfortably and walked over to the window with the purple orchids resting on the windowsill, feeling her eyes trying to burn a hole in the back of his head. If he wasn't careful with his words right now, he was sure he really was going to be burned. "We... we've been busy, haven't we?"

"That's no excuse," she protested, coming over to his side. "I'm always thinking of you and waiting." Wringing her hands, she said thickly, "You suck, you know that?"

"I know," he said quietly, his heart going out to her. She really did try very hard to reach out to him. It reminded him alittle of when they were kids, and how hard she had tried to befriend him.

She huffed and crossed her arms when he remained silent. "Kiss me right now."

Orochimaru's eyes bulged out. "Excuse me?"

If she didn't shove him, she'd be a withered old woman before she could go on one date with him. Whereas Jiraiya was lecherous and drooled over her, Orochimaru was almost like a saint. It was infuriating. Maybe once he got a taste of the warm romantic love between a man and woman, he'd finally step out of his shell. "I said, kiss me right now. Are you deaf?" She grew angry when he immediately covered his mouth with both hands, acting like she just told him that she was going to yank out his teeth.

"I-I... I... no." Great, thought Orochimaru when her mouth dropped open. He knew thousands of words, and could probably claim the most extensive vocabulary in the five great nations. And all he could come up was a freaking no?! How about explaining to her that he was so emotionally inexperienced that he was still unsure about how he felt about her? The fact that he was scared of falling in love was also a huge factor as well. What if he was a complete failure at it?

"Orochimaru, did you just say no? Just no?" She wiped at her eyes and pointed to her chest. "I finally even got boobs!"

"Tsunade," Orochimaru said tiredly. Were the hormones that made her breasts bigger also making her emotionally unstable? Turning her to face him, he decided to go for the straight and honest approach. "Tsunade, I care about you, deeply. That's why I don't want to hurt you." When she sniffed and refused to meet his eyes, he continued. "If I'm going to be in a romantic relationship with you, it needs to be with all of my heart and with no hesitation. I shouldn't buy flowers if I can't appreciate or take care of them." Brushing back some of her hair gently, he said quietly, "It would pain me to see a flower like you wilt away because of ineptitude."

Tsunade felt her heart flutter abit. God, this stupid romantically challenged snake had such a smooth tongue sometimes. Still... "Orochi, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me. Dating is supposed to be testing the waters."

"Testing the waters can lead to drowning."

She peered up at him. "You're that afraid?"

"Terribly so," he admitted. "I'm walking into unknown territory. I don't know if this will end up hurting my heart and yours. It's frightening."

Tsunade held onto his hands and said, "But you're never going to find out unless you try."

He sighed when she pouted at him, sticking out her lips more than necessary. "No I'm not kissing you. I may have lost my first one to sheer dumb luck, but according to you, a girl's first kiss is important. It should not be under 'testing waters' condition."

"Fine. Touch my breasts."

In a second, Orochimaru's snow white face turned bright red and his temperature spiked up to dangerous levels. She had always been a rather blunt and straightforward woman, but this was abit much to swallow. "What are you doing?" He tried to sound authoritative but somehow he ended sounding petrified.

She grumbled at him for acting like she was asking him to stick his hands into a fire ant's nest instead of on an attractive female body part. "Doing what kunoichis are good at. Seducing," she said in a matter of fact voice. "This is taking forever so I'm trying to get you to fall for me and make this faster." Before she knew it, Orochimaru turned tail and ran for it. Never in her entire life had she seen him run so fast or look so scared. He almost even tripped over Jiraiya, who was still unconscious out in the corridor. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmph!" She stuck her nose up in the air. This was a modern age where women were independent and strong. Nothing wrong with fighting for what she want. Heck, if she had to propose to him herself, she'd do it.

With a sigh, she went over to fetch her bags and get started on packing. But with so much stuff, she was alittle daunted at how she was going to carry them all back home. Maybe she should just have the stuff shipped back to Konoha. As she dragged her bags across the room, she accidentally knocked over the pile of folders beside the golden cushions. "Drat!" Bending down, she began trying to put them back neatly before she paused. Wait, he said the fourth folder from the bottom right? Which one was that now? With a sigh, she began opening folders and skimming through the papers.

When she flipped to the fifth one, some papers fell haphazardly out and she thought in irritation, this was probably the kind of day where she would break a leg, get food poisoning, lose her coin pouch and break out in acne. Everything was going wrong. She paused when she caught a passage on the piece of paper. After reading it, her cheeks turned pink and she felt a pleasant tingling feeling between her legs. Holy crap... this was really good erotica. Wait, why did Orochimaru have something like this? Was he... researching on physical intimacy? To have a good performance when he was with her? She knew he liked to be prepared, but this was just overly godly sweet.

She gushed and put a hand on her cheeks. Silly snake. It's not like she had any experience either. And not like she'd judged him if he was bad at kissing... or touching. Was this why he still needed more time to give her an answer? Her mind went into overload as she imagined him saying that he did want to be with her, before sweeping her off her feet and passionately kissing her. Blood began leaking out of her nose and she quickly stuffed a shopping receipt up it. Fine then, she can wait. After all, she's waited for years already. A few more days, weeks... or months won't kill her.

Completely happy again, she stood up, dusted her skirt and skipped off to continue packing, completely forgetting about the technique he had looked up for her.

Dinner...

Women, Orochimaru thought as he wryly chewed on his fried rice with eggs. One moment, they looked like they wanted to kill you, the next they looked like they wanted to wrap you in soft blankets and sing to you. That's what Tsunade looked like as she ignored her ramen to smile coyly at him and batted her eyelashes. Maybe he should have the talk. Not with Jiraiya of course. He'd rather set his hair on fire. But his only other option was Sarutobi-sensei and he wasn't sure if that was appropriate. Then again, his teacher and Jiraiya frequently went peeking together, which was not just inappropriate, it was probably illegal. Having a talk was mildly tame in comparison.

"So," Tsunade started, refilling the incense pot on their table to let it continue filling the room with a nice tropical scent. "Where's Jiraiya?"

"Researching. This is the time when most women take baths," Orochimaru said nonchalantly, scooping some cooked duck onto his rice. His heart thumped in his chest when she moved over to his side.

"You've also been hard at researching too."

He swallowed and held his rice dish to his chest, as if hoping the fragile pottery would somehow protect his virtue. "Well, this is a golden opportunity for me to broaden my knowledge." She laughed in a demure fashion that scared him more than if she was throwing boulders at his head.

"Aren't you also researching something else?"

Kami-sama, she was moving closer and closer to his comfort zone. He said, "I research on alot of areas. You'll need to be more specific, Tsunade-hime."

"How about... sensitive areas?"

Ok, now he was starting to get confused. But that aside, she looked like a cat who was getting ready to pounce. Clearing his throat, he said, "I have a big day tomorrow since I'm getting my tattoo. I think I'll be heading to bed now."

At that, the sunny girl sulked, her hazel orbs shimmering. "You're always worrying me, Orochimaru. Mitsurugi said that it's even dangerous. People's mind have broken before the tattoo could be finished."

He shrugged. "I have a strong will. Once I'm certain that I want something, I will give it my all." He patted her hand for comfort when she continued to look sad. "That means, once I decide to be with you, Tsunade, nothing can separate us. In the meantime, I thank you for being a very patient windmill. I know how much my princess hates waiting."

She beamed when he called her 'my' princess. Sliding even closer to him, she played with one of his azurite earrings. "And you're my-"

"I need to go to the bathroom." With that, Orochimaru ran for it once again.

Tsunade shouted, "But we have a bathroom for our room!"

"Jiraiya clogged the toilet!"

At this moment, Jiraiya showed up just as Orochimaru disappeared. "I did not clog the toilet, liar!"

"Augh..."

Right when the needle touched his skin, his teeth clenched together and he grabbed a fistful of his pants as he sat on the pile of silk cushions in their room. The red hair lady who arrived was decked out in bangles and wore an elaborate headdress. She puffed on a pipe, took one look at Orochimaru and beckoned for him to get comfortable before she inked the design on his left arm and began taking out her equipment from the box she was carrying. They smelled the ink before they saw it. It was heady, thick and pungent. It was no smell they've smelled before.

As she began tattooing their friend, Jiraiya chewed on his nails and asked, "Is he going to be ok?"

The lady laughed, her bangles clinking. "Listen kiddo, this is a secret art. I've only tattoo six people in my life. Only two was successful."

"I'm perfectly fine," Orochimaru snarled, digging his nails into his hand and drawing blood.

The woman said, "Feel free to scream. I've been told this pain was worse than going through childbirth."

Jiraiya chewed even more on his nails. "I know you're girly and all Oro, but trying to experience the pain of childbirth is stupid."

"Shut up idiot," Orochimaru said, pressing his sweating face into a pillowy cushion, refusing to let himself scream into it. "I can't even laugh at your dumb jokes. It'll mess up the tattoo if I don't sit still."

"Orochimaru..." She hovered over him, tying back his hair before dabbing at his forehead with a cloth.

He looked at the two and seeing how concerned they were for him, he said in a strained voice, "You two being here is only making it worse for me. Go wait outside."

"I'm not leaving my number one housewife!"

"What Jiraiya said!"

"Not you too, Tsunade." Orochimaru bowed over, feeling like he just cracked a tooth from grinding down on his jaw so hard. If this was what childbirth feels like, he had never been more grateful to be born a man. He winced when Jiraiya shoved his calligraphy brush into his mouth. "Hrmphl!"

Jiraiya said, "I was worried you're going to bite your tongue."

He spat out the brush and said, "Get out!"

Tsunade clucked around him like a worried mother hen and tried to put more pillows behind him so that he could be comfortable. That helped alittle since he was distracted by her firm big breasts pushing into his face as she leaned over him and he briefly thought back to what Jiraiya had said earlier about 'urges'.

When he was younger, he had wished he would never have to deal with the embarrassing things that came with puberty. He would sooner eat cold food for a year than admit that he did panic somewhat when he was going through his growth spurt. He was even jealous at how tall and broad shouldered Jiraiya was becoming, the definition of masculinity. But worst of all, none of his medical books, could explain his 'urges'. He did a good enough job ignoring it by burying himself in his studies and training, and the fact that he found 99% of girls to be unworthy of even holding a conversation with helped. But the 1% named Tsunade, whom he could name his equal, had reawaken these 'urges'. First by declaring that she loved him all these years. Now, she was making him sink to Jiraiya's level by unintentionally sticking her bosom into his face. From a certain distance, he could think logically, and conclude that her new breasts would be beneficial for child rearing. That was it. He found her to still be the same likable and intelligent girl that he was honored to be teamed up with. But now, with a massive pair of breasts shoved so close to his face that he was going cross-eyed, he found his mind going from super talented genius to almost super Jiraiya pervert level.

With more willpower than he was using to suffer through the terrible pain of his tattoo, he pulled his face away from the melons and replaced it with a pillow. "Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Jiraiya noticed and he said, "If I get a tattoo too, will you stick your chest into my face?"

Tsunade's face heated up. What happened was purely unintentional, as she was still getting used to her new breasts. With a growl, she upper punched Jiraiya in the jaw.

The lady had to suppress the urge to laugh. This was definitely the weirdest case she's ever taken on.

"Is he going to be alright?" Jiraiya asked as Tsunade tucked Orochimaru in. "He's... not going to go crazy like other people right?" But then he paused and added, "Well, not even crazier than he already is, right?"

Tsunade shushed him. "He's just very tired. Let him sleep in peace." Tapping on her chin, she said, "Hey Jiraiya, I'm sick of ordering room service. Let's find a restaurant to eat on the last day, to celebrate the mission's success and for Orochimaru getting his tattoo."

He saluted her and grinned. "You take care of our number one housewife. I'll be back soon with a list of fancy restaurants for you to pick, Tsunade."

Tsunade watched him leave and she mused at how he was always so cheerful and lively. He was a pervert, but at least he was a cheerful pervert. Glancing over at the late afternoon sun outside their windows, she stood up and closed the curtains, shading the room in somber orange. Next, she dragged her futon over to Orochimaru and sat down. Taking out a medical tome she had borrowed from the library, she began reading.

"Hmmmm..."

Tsunade looked up from her book to see Orochimaru smiling at her. Hastily putting it aside, she leaned over to him and said, "How are you feeling? Sorry, I didn't notice that you were awake, Orochi."

"It's fine," he replied. "I've never noticed, but you... look quite pretty when you're so focused on your readings."

She fluffed her ponytail and beamed. "To be honest, I always liked that scholarly look you have when you work in my library too." When he continued to watch her with his golden eyes, she felt her cheeks turned pink.

He let out a small sigh and turned his head to stare up at the ceiling. "Tsunade, I'll be gone for most of the day tomorrow."

At the strange tone of voice, she tilted her head in question. "Where are you going? And alone at that."

"Something your grandmother entrusted to me."

"But you were told not to exert yourself for at least a week after getting that tattoo." She stirred in surprise when he laid his hand over hers.

"Tsunade," he said softly. "What I'm doing tomorrow... I'm doing for your sake. It will apparently help me and our relationship." He let out a long breath, twining his fingers through hers. "You make me crazy, hime. I don't know how to act around you and I hate feeling flustered. This whole love thing makes no sense to me and it challenges my sense of security. We're not even dating and I already feel this way." He stiffened up when she laid her head down on his stomach.

"So don't go then," she said, keeping her voice even.

"Logic tells me not to. That it's foolish and nonsensical." He rubbed her head and murmured, "But something else tells me to take the risk because I care about you."

Tsunade beamed and relaxed, enjoying the comfortable silence between them after that.

The next day...

"Snake-eyes is gone," Jiraiya cheered to himself as he sat at the table with a pile of papers and a brush in hand. Just that fact was enough to make him happy enough to get over his previous day's work on his Icha Icha series. Just where the hell did those papers go anyway? Did housecleaning accidentally throw them away or something?

He rested his chin in hand, daydreaming about Tsunade. She was so hot... it was almost unfairly so. He did want to try and act gentlemanly around her, but he was born a pervert. It's been ingrained into his DNA. He couldn't help acting stupid when he was around women, especially Tsunade. Now that she has boobs, he found it even harder to control himself.

Jiraiya banged his head on his papers, smudging some of the ink onto his forehead. "Now or never though," he said to himself. He knew that since they were soon going to leave, Tsunade has been trying to take advantage of their free stay and enjoy the hot springs, and had bathed in the hot waters every night after he came back from his 'research'. She had commanded Orochimaru to guard over him so that she could bathe in peace and since Orochimaru was grateful to her for nursing him back to health, he did as she asked. Now that he was absent, this was the one chance he had to peek on that forbidden golden fruit. There was no way he was going to let this opportunity slip by.

Coming out from a lake, the giant white snake opened its mouth and Orochimaru slowly emerged outwards, underneath the starry night sky. As he slowly stood up and stared at the giant waterfall, he made five hand seals that Lady Mito had taught him. The earth rumbled as the waterfall parted ways to lead into a dark passageway. Holding up a ball of green fire, he looked at the foreboding darkness, feeling his stomach curl slightly. He almost felt like backing out but then Tsunade, Jiraiya and Sarutobi's face flashed through his mind and he knew he had to do this. Pressing his lips into a grim line, he walked forward.

"Ahhhhhhh..." Tsunade sunk down into the steamy hot waters and sighed in content. This truly was paradise. The hot spring was huge, with a decorative garden to encircle the pool of water. The stone pathway was beautifully carved and she didn't know what kind of rocks it was, but it was polished smooth and seemed to massage her feet everytime she walked over them. She leaned back, watching the wind rustle the leaves of the trees, making the little white flowers on them shake and a few petals drifted down towards her, floating across the hot waters.

Taking up a handful of warm water, she splashed it onto her face and rubbed at her neck. It really was nice to take late baths. No one to bother you and you get the whole place to yourself. A nice starry night sky also helped with the atmosphere. A sudden splash caught her ears and she turned to look at the wooden divider that separated men and women. Who the hell was also out here at nearly one in the morning? Her thoughts immediately jumped to Jiraiya but that can't be. She was sure that she had slipped enough sleeping drugs into his drink for him to snore till late morning. Without Orochimaru here to keep an eye on him, she had to be prepared after all. Slowly relaxing again, she reassured herself that she was being jumpy for no reasons.

Taking a small white towel from her basket, she began washing. Dipping the cloth between her breasts, she couldn't help but giggle slightly. It was nice to finally have a bosom. After years and years of being flat, she's finally got it all in one go. When her shirt started feeling tight, she thought it was just shrinking in the wash or something. She had given up hope of having big boobs ages ago. Orochimaru saying that he found her intelligence to be the most attractive thing about her, had also made her feel better about being flat.

Thinking back to the handsome snake summoner, she smiled. Granted, he had great self-control and was extremely mature, but he was still a man and there were some things he could not hide from her. It was almost kind of fun to tease him like this. She patted her boobs under the water and thanked the heavens for finally being kind to her. Now if only she could win the jackpot or lottery. She chuckled as she stood up, wanting to move to another position to be more comfortable.

A thump against the wooden divider caught her attention and she whirled around. Seeing a familiar eyeball staring at her from a small hole in the wood, she froze for a complete three seconds before she screamed. "JIRAIYA! YOU FUCKER!" Pulling off the towel that wrapped up her hair, she hastily tied it around herself as her face turned beet red. Every step she took made the entire ground shook and she ripped apart the wooden boards with her bare hands.

Jiraiya was scrambling back in the waters, his eyes wide with terror at the aura of death emanating from her. Before he knew it, she grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him to his feet. Snarling into his face, she said in a voice that could make even hell freeze over. "YOU ARE GOING TO WISH YOU'RE DEAD ONCE I'M DONE REARRANGING EVERY SINGLE BONE IN YOUR BODY!"

"Tsu-Tsunade!" Jiraiya pleaded, his blood cold with fear. He had taken beatings from her since he was six years old but something about this entire situation literally spelled death. With a gulp, he said, "You... you have a beautiful body."

She growled like a beast and brought her forehead down on his with a bang, before tossing him into the smashed wooden partition. Her fists glowed blue as she pumped chakra to them. "YOU SICK, REPULSIVE, DISGUSTING PERVERT!"

Jiraiya gasped for breath, shaking the water out of his wet hair. "I-I'll take responsibility for this! I'll date you, even marry you. I'd quit peeking and womanizing for you."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'D SOONER SET MY OWN TOENAILS ON FIRE THAN BE WITH A STINKING TOAD LIKE YOU! AND SARUTOBI-SENSEI STILL PEEKS EVEN THOUGH HE'S MARRIED! YOU PERVERTS ARE ALL LIARS!" Tsunade pulled on her wet hair and screamed. She felt so violated! This bastard probably got a good eyeful of her entire body. She was a strong and powerful kunoichi, but she was still a freaking girl! How could he do this to her? Never in her life had she felt so embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated. It was like someone suddenly grabbing you and forcibly kissing you, multiplied by a thousand. A real man would ask for her consent and respect her. What Jiraiya had just done, sealed his fate. She would never ever consider being with him unless Orochimaru died (which she considered nearly impossible). At the unlucky thought, she quickly spat and wiped at her mouth.

Jumping over to him, she grabbed him around the throat and lifted him up."Who do you think I am?! When you decided to peek on me, you've signed your own death." She slammed Jiraiya face first into the waters, before grabbing his arm and snapping it in half with a crunch.

Jiraiya cried out in pain, lifting his head and spluttering from the water. "Tsu-Tsunade! Eaughhhhh!" His head flopped backward when she gave him two black eyes and proceeded to shove her newly manicured nails up his nose. As blood gushed out, she kneed him five times in the stomach, making him throw up his dinner. Before he could even breath, she began using him as a punching bag, unleashing all of her mortification and hurt with powerful punches and kicks. "I'm going to beat you up so bad, you'll barf at the sight of naked women!" When he collapsed into the water and struggled to crawl away, she grabbed one of the floating wooden planks nearby and slammed it into his back, snapping it immediately in half and making him cough blood. "I think you ruptured something," he choked.

"I'm not done with you yet!" She bit down on both of her palms and formed a succession of hand seals.

Jiraiya thought his heart was going to stop when the blood in her hand erupted into flames and she held two massive fireballs, staring down at him with the wrath of a demon. "YOUR BLOOD TURNS ON FIRE?!"

"PREPARE TO DIE, PERVERT!"

Darkwings13:

-The boobs in Orochimaru's face thing was slightly inspired by that one episode where Orochimaru accidentally stabbed Tsunade in the bosom with Kusanagi. I found it kinda funny how he just froze and only moved back when she coughed blood xD

-Jiraya's near death experience x) Poor guy, but I stand with Tsunade. I almost got peeked on before too and I was super mortified D: And it was just an accident while this was intentional for her.

( ´ω｀ )ゞ First! Yay, we've now reached 63 favorites. Appreciation and thank you to newest reader who have this story on favorite. Lissette Paola655, colourcolour, KHB123, Yoruseibaa, zalinba, AnAddictedReader, Zisfoul, ExhoAR22, Slimjim77, RavenNox, banan609, CepelinasLTU and MangaAbuser!

(`•ω•´๑) Thank you guest! I'll keep on writing for the sake of the Orotsu ship teehee. And glad you enjoyed sadistic Orochi action!

(*ゝ∀･)v Glad you liked that line hxshigaki76. Omg actually, that line is totallyyyyyyyyy legit! I'll use it for sure after the Sannin survives the battle with Hanzo. It's definitely something Orochi would say. Yea, I know what you mean. After all the stress, I went for a more simple but epic battle chapter, and now a funny one haha.

(≧∇≦*) Haha yes, slowly but surely I'm upping the bloodiness and of this story, xxhebi-himexx. You're totally right. And it's also to slowly build up to the horrible second Shinobi war, as well as Orochimaru's very vile experiments in the future. Anyways, I'm glad you found the battle to be epic and enjoyed it, my friend.

(ᗒᗨᗕ) Ohohohoh, you'll definitely find it very amusing when they all get drunk for the first time then, JigokuShoujosRevenge. Speaking of which, what you said made me think of a scenario where Orochi offers a present of assassinating someone for free when he's being nice. LOL

(＾▽＾) Thank you Slimjim77!

(=ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ Great job picking up on that detail with the crushing of the heart, BlackLady777! You've really got an eye for detail. Yes, it's supposed to represent Orochimaru's disdain for 'feelings'. He knows he's human and has a heart, but he views it as an obstacle most of the time, especially for being a shinobi, you're encouraged to be emotionless. So the crushing of the girl's heart, was symbolic of him trying to do the same for him. It's also abit of a mirror to the previous chapter, where 'love' got him to accept these feelings, but now he lost his memories :/ And yep, as a Shinobi, life is bloody and the constant death and fighting eventually molds even good people into 'killers'. Take Sakumo, who's a very very nice and good guy, but he's viewed as a monster by Chiyo and it's terribly sad to see that one episode where kid Sasori hopelessly waits for his parents return but they were killed by Sakumo. He is a nice guy, but the fact doesn't change that he earned the title of 'White Fang' by killing a ton of people. This reminds me that Naruto... as Hokage, never killed anyone. Oh muh gerd D: And thank you, I worked hard on the imagery of that last paragraph and I'm so happy you found it morbidly beautiful.

d(￣▽￣o) thank you ileangie23! I do like writing fight scenes lol. I'm so happy you enjoy reading last chapter's fight scene. I almost thought if I went alittle over the top haha. And I'm glad you mentioned Katsuyu! Funny how little everyone thought about the fact that the cute slug lives in a forest of bones and I combined that with the fact that she uses acid, to write her that way last chapter. Kinda reminds me of when she threatened to melt Orochimaru lol. I definitely have to add in more womanizing scenes for Jiraiya, I found it funny myself. Of couse, after he gets over this traumatic near death experience. And I think strength doesn't equal survival actually. Hashirama and Tobirama were godly powerful, but they died. Minato was known as the Golden Flash and he died. The White Fang died. Jiraiya died. Tsunade nearly died. Sarutobi died. They all have this 'sacrificing' mindset whereas Orochimaru, would never let himself be cannon fodder and has a million back-up plans to survive. So while I think his parents are powerful, (children take after their parent mindset established by the Naruto universe), I think they also went for a sacrificing mindset. Can't spoil for now ;D